by Linda Sole
‘Why did he attack you?’
‘Because he thought I was accusing him of something.’
‘Were you?’
‘Yes and no.’ Roz shook her head. ‘I think you are right to believe your sister was murdered, Tom – but I have no proof. Nothing has changed from the other day.’
‘Hasn’t it? Philip lost his head for a reason, Roz. I’ll be speaking to him myself one of these days. He needs to be taught a lesson.’
‘Not on my account. I told you how I feel the other day. If they arrested you for Philip’s murder I don’t think I could bear it.’
‘I love you, Roz. I know I told you to forget me but it’s no use, I can’t get you out of my head.’
‘What you said was right – we have to,’ she said, tears on her cheeks now as she stood up. ‘I want to run away with you, Tom – but we both know it’s too late.’
‘Roz . . . hush,’ he said and leaned towards her, brushing his lips over hers. From behind them the sound of loud music told them someone had opened the door to the hall. Roz drew back sharply.
‘I have to go back,’ she said and took a step forward, then gave a little gasp as the world around her suddenly went black and she fainted. Tom was there to catch her as she fell.
Roz moaned and opened her eyes, looking up into Harry’s anxious face as he bent over her.
‘Where am I?’
‘Mr Blake said you fainted. He carried you in here – it’s the ladies’ rest room.’
Roz felt the coarse horse hair sofa beneath her and realized that several anxious eyes were watching her: Mary Jane, Harry, Mrs Bristow and Tom Blake amongst them.
‘I went out for a little air,’ she said. ‘I think Mr Blake saved me from a fall. It was fortunate that you were there, sir. Thank you.’
‘Glad to be of help,’ Tom said stiffly. He took hold of his wife’s arm. ‘Come on, Mary Jane, we’ll leave Mr and Mrs Rushden alone. They don’t want us gawking at them.’
Mrs Bristow moved towards Roz and offered her a small bottle of lavender water. ‘Put a little of this on the back of your hand and sniff it,’ she said. ‘I always carry it and it helps with the nausea in your condition, my dear.’
‘My condition?’ Roz looked at her. ‘You think . . . perhaps. I hadn’t thought about it, but that might be why . . .’ Harry was frowning as she sat up. ‘Mrs Bristow is suggesting that I might be pregnant.’
‘I may be wrong, but I did think it might be the case earlier,’ the elderly lady said and accepted her lavender water back, nodding as Roz inhaled the scent from the back of her hand. ‘Well, if you’ve recovered now, I’ll leave you together.’
The other curious watchers had departed with Tom and his wife. Harry sat down beside Roz on the sofa. He reached for her hand, a tender and yet anxious expression in his eyes.
‘Did you have any idea? You didn’t tell me, Roz.’
‘Because I hadn’t thought about it. I suppose I should have noticed – I haven’t had my courses for . . . it must be seven weeks.’
‘I’ll fetch the doctor to you in the morning.’ Harry kissed her hand. ‘You shouldn’t have come this evening.’
‘Please don’t blame yourself, Harry. I was enjoying watching the dancing and then I felt a little unwell so I went out for some air. It was fortunate that Mr Blake also wanted some air. He saved me from a fall.’
‘Yes, I must thank him properly,’ Harry said. ‘I’ve been trying to buy some land from him for weeks but he wasn’t interested. Baxter told me he bought some of his land; it was something I was after but now I’ve got another proposition for Blake. I’ll speak to him on Monday, after we’ve got you sorted. I think you should have the doctor from Wisbech over. He’s better than our local man.’
‘Doctor Hughes is very good,’ Roz said and smiled at him. ‘I’m feeling better now. It was so foolish of me to faint like that – forgive me?’
‘I should be the one asking for forgiveness – and that brother of yours. If he’s harmed you, I shall thrash him whatever the consequences.’
‘I’m sure he hasn’t. Would you mind if I went home now, Harry? You can stay longer if you wish. The carriage can return for you in an hour or two.’
‘I’ll come home with you. There’s nothing more I need to do tonight.’ His eyes glowed with pride. ‘A child, Roz. Until now I didn’t know how much it would mean – but I’m thrilled.’
‘I’m so pleased.’ She took his hand and he helped her to her feet. ‘Don’t worry. I’m not faint now. I can walk to the carriage.’
‘Take my arm and lean on me if you feel faint,’ Harry said. ‘There’ll be no more riding about the countryside on a horse until you’re over the baby, Roz. If you want to visit your mama you can take the carriage – or send it to fetch her. You must take care of yourself now.’
‘I’m not an invalid. I’m just having a baby – and we’re not sure of that yet.’ Roz smiled because his concern was touching. ‘Thank you so much for caring, Harry. I know I haven’t always deserved your love.’
‘That’s over and done,’ he replied. ‘This is my child, Roz, and the rest is forgotten.’
‘Yes,’ she said, but as she took his arm and walked from the room, she was wondering. If she was seven or eight weeks pregnant, it could be Tom Blake’s child . . .
‘Why did you go outside?’ Mary Jane asked. They were alone in their bedchamber and she was dressed in a white cotton nightdress sprigged with blue flowers. ‘Was it to meet her?’
Tom didn’t look at her as he took off his breeches and then pulled on his nightshirt. ‘Don’t talk daft, woman. Why should I want to meet Mrs Rushden?’
‘I don’t know – unless she’s the one you want.’ Mary Jane’s face was sullen. ‘I know there was someone else – someone you wanted more than me. You took me because you couldn’t have her.’
‘That’s ridiculous. When do I have time to be meeting another woman?’
‘I don’t know. I know you don’t love me the way you ought. You married me because I was willing and you needed someone to help your ma.’
‘Is this just because I was there when Roz fainted?’ Tom sat on the edge of the bed. ‘You’re being silly, Mary Jane. Come to bed and let’s get some sleep. It will soon be morning and I’ve got work to do.’
‘All you think about is work.’ She got into bed reluctantly and lay stiffly beside him as he slid between the sheets.
Tom snuffed out the candle and turned towards her. ‘Make up your mind, lass. One minute you’re accusing me of wanting another woman, the next you’re saying all I think of is work – which is it?’
‘Why did you go outside, then?’
‘To pee if you must know,’ he said. ‘There was a queue for the lavatory so I went out – and I saw her swaying. I just managed to catch her and that’s all there was to it. Now will you let me get some sleep?’
‘Go to sleep then,’ Mary Jane said and turned on her side.
Tom heard her sniffles. He knew she wanted him to take her into his arms and love her but he couldn’t. All he could think of was the bruise on Roz’s cheek and the smell of her perfume as he’d carried her into the restroom. Tom had called for help and her husband had come in before Roz recovered her senses. He’d had to stand back and watch as Rushden took over, and that hurt like hell.
Mrs Bristow had smiled and told him not to worry. She’d hinted that Roz was possibly carrying her husband’s child. Tom knew that he had no right to resent the likely explanation for her fainting, but he couldn’t help the tide of anger rising inside him. He knew he’d been quiet all evening and wasn’t surprised that Mary Jane had picked up something.
He put his arm around her and kissed the back of her neck. ‘Go to sleep, love. I’m tired. It will be all right tomorrow.’
Mary Jane turned over and flung her arm about his neck. ‘I love you, Tom. I’m sorry I lost our baby. She’s having a baby, isn’t she? That’s why she fainted.’
‘I don’t know,’ Tom said.
‘If she is it’s her business not ours. Now let me go to sleep.’
Mary Jane moved to her side of the bed. Tom knew she was hurt but he just couldn’t rouse himself to do what she wanted. He loved Roz so much it was like a physical pain in his guts. It didn’t matter how many times he told himself to be sensible: he still wanted her and something told him he always would.
Her brother was a brute and one of these days Tom would pay him back for Carrie – and for what he’d done to Roz.
Philip stared at his wife as she lay curled up in bed, her eyes closed. The doctor had told him it was touch and go whether she held on to their child.
‘She isn’t built for child bearing, sir,’ Doctor Hughes had said when he visited. ‘If I were you I should cancel Christmas in this house. Your wife needs rest and care or she will lose the child.’
‘But we have people coming for the day.’
‘Then you will have to entertain them yourself or put them off,’ the doctor replied. ‘Unless you wish to lose both the child and your wife? I’m advising you that any excitement or distress might cause her to miscarry and she could die.’
Philip felt nothing but annoyance as he now looked at Julia. Why couldn’t she do a simple thing like carry a child full term without all this fuss?
‘I hope you are going to get up and come downstairs on Christmas Day?’
Julia raised her head to look at him. ‘I’m not sure I should, Philip. The doctor told me I must stay in bed for a few weeks until I’m stronger.’
‘Hughes is an old woman. You look perfectly well to me. If you force me to cancel our arrangements I shall not stay here to play nursemaid. I can get a decent dinner in the hotel in Wisbech and I’ll invite Madeline and Raymond there.’
‘No, please, you mustn’t,’ Julia said, a tear sliding from the corner of her eye. ‘Have them here and I’ll come down for a while.’
‘I don’t wish to force you, Julia, but I’m sick of seeing you lie there like a dead thing.’
‘Please don’t say things like that,’ Julia begged. ‘I want to see Roz. Why hasn’t she visited? Have you quarrelled with her?’
‘What makes you think that?’ Philip’s eyes narrowed. ‘If anyone has been telling tales they’ll be sorry.’
‘So you have quarrelled with her,’ Julia said. ‘Please leave me alone to rest, Philip. You have what you want, now let me sleep – and send one of the servants to ask Roz to call on me.’
Philip walked out. He had no intention of sending for his sister. The last thing he needed was Roz telling tales to his wife. He was already in debt to Sir Raymond and unless he could win back some of his losses he would have to borrow money from the bank again. Julia was in no fit state to go begging to her aunt. If he could manage until the child was born, Lady Mary might feel more like giving them a few thousand guineas to get him out of a scrape.
‘I can cancel the Christmas Eve party,’ Harry offered over breakfast that morning. ‘If you don’t feel up to it, Roz, we’ll simply put it off for this year. Your mama can come and stay, naturally, for as long as you wish – but I don’t want you to tire yourself.’
‘I feel wonderful,’ Roz said and laughed at his concerned expression. ‘Honestly, Harry, I’ve never felt better. The doctor told me that the sickness and fainting is often a temporary thing. He says I am carrying the child well, much better than poor Julia. He advised her to keep to her bed. I am to carry on as normal because I’m perfectly healthy.’
‘I’m glad but you must still take care. I shouldn’t want to lose you.’ Harry touched her hand across the table. ‘If you wish to visit Julia, please take the carriage.’
‘I should like to visit her, but only if you have the time to come with me. I don’t feel like facing Philip alone.’
‘Yes, of course I’ll come,’ Harry said. ‘My business can wait until after Christmas. If Philip is there I shall give him an ultimatum. Should he abuse you again I’ll thrash him to an inch of his life.’
‘He wouldn’t dare to harm me with you there. I’ve made up my mind not to go there alone again. I do not wish to see him ever again but Julia is my friend. I am concerned for her – and I should tell her our news, Harry.’
‘Do you have a present to give her? We can take the Christmas things over so that you do not have to visit again.’
‘I have gifts for Julia and the baby but nothing for Philip.’
‘Quite right. He doesn’t deserve anything.’ Harry frowned. ‘Unless the idiot pulls himself together he is going to ruin them all and lose the estate.’
‘Have you heard something?’ Harry nodded. ‘If he does lose everything it serves him right – but what about Julia and Mama?’
‘I have a decent house on the estate which has become empty recently. I was going to lease it again but your mama could have it – and I suppose Julia could live with her if the worst happened, but we must hope it won’t. Depending on the size of the debt I might settle it for Philip – on the understanding that he becomes my tenant and the hall is my property.’
‘He would never agree. I know Philip. He will borrow from the bank until they foreclose and he loses everything.’
‘Well, that is his privilege. We shall have to wait and see, Roz – but don’t worry about your mother and Julia. I wouldn’t see them starve.’
‘No, I know,’ Roz said, her throat tight. ‘You are so generous, Harry. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.’
‘You married me and now you’re having our child.’ Harry got up, came round the table to kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear. ‘I love you, Roz. I’ll tell them to get the carriage ready in half an hour. I have a letter to write so take your time getting ready.’
Roz watched him walk from the room. Harry was kind and generous. At times he could seem distant, but at the moment he couldn’t do enough for her.
She told herself that her afternoon with Tom Blake was no worse than Harry’s affair with Madeline. She had forgiven him – but he would never forgive her if he guessed that the child she was carrying might not be his.
Of course the baby was Harry’s. It had to be. Anything else was unthinkable, and yet the timing was so close that Roz knew she could be carrying Tom’s child.
‘Roz . . . thank you so much for coming,’ Julia said as she entered and placed her armful of gifts on the dressing table. ‘Did Philip send for you? I’ve wanted to see you so much.’
‘I came as soon as I could once I learned you weren’t well. I’m so sorry to see you like this, dearest. You were so very happy.’
‘I am trying to save my baby. The doctor says that if I rest for a few weeks it should be all right, but I mustn’t be upset or I may lose it.’
‘Then you must keep to your bed, Julia. I know Harry would insist on my resting if I were to become unwell . . .’ She smiled as Julia stared at her. ‘Yes, I wanted you to know. I shall tell Mama on Boxing Day so please do not mention this to anyone – but I’m having a child too.’
‘That is lovely,’ Julia cried and sat forward as Roz bent to kiss her. ‘They will be cousins and friends one day. We shall have so much in common, so much to share.’
‘Yes, I feel that too,’ Roz said and sat on the edge of the bed. ‘I just wish you were not so unwell.’
Julia reached for her hand. ‘I do feel better now that you are here.’ She hesitated, then: ‘You wanted to tell me something before I married Philip. He doesn’t love me, Roz, but I’ve always known that – and I truly don’t mind if he has an affair, but I feel there is something more. He is trying to hide it but his temper is awful and he frightens me sometimes.’
‘Philip shouldn’t lose his temper with you.’ Roz held her hand. ‘Harry could have a word with him if you wish, try to find out what is upsetting him?’
‘He mustn’t know I asked. He would be furious with me.’
‘He is a beast to be unkind to you. If it were not for you – but I mustn’t say. He makes me angry at times but he is your husband.’
> ‘And your brother.’
‘Sometimes I wish he wasn’t.’
‘I shouldn’t have married him. Paul told me to wait and find someone else. He thought your husband would suit me – but I knew Mr Rushden had eyes only for you. You are very fortunate, Roz.’
‘Yes. I have become very fond of you, Julia. I hate Philip for hurting you.’
‘No, don’t hate him. I love him no matter what he does. Love is like that, isn’t it?’
‘Perhaps. Harry might be able to help if Philip has money problems.’
‘You don’t think Philip has run through the money already?’ Julia looked stunned. ‘I know he’s made improvements to the house and was talking of buying land – but he couldn’t have gambled it away, could he?’
‘I know he has been playing for high stakes. Harry thought – well, I must not say, but Philip should be careful of Sir Raymond and his wife.’
Julia was silent for a moment. ‘Philip is having them here on Christmas Day. He says I should get up while they are here. I promised I would . . .’
‘You shouldn’t let him bully you.’ Roz squeezed her hand. ‘Let Philip go to the devil in his own way, Julia. If you need help, send for us. Harry wouldn’t stand by and see you in trouble.’
‘Oh Roz, I do love you,’ Julia said and held her hand to her cheek. ‘I couldn’t bear it if we weren’t friends any more. Philip is reckless and careless. I don’t know why he couldn’t be more like you.’
‘I’m a long way from perfect, but I care about the people who are close to me, Julia. If Philip becomes unbearable come to us and we’ll look after you when the baby comes.’
‘Philip would be furious if I did that.’ Julia sat back against the pillows. ‘Why do things have to be so horrible, Roz? All I wanted was a home and a family.’
‘I know. I’m sorry, dearest. I wish I could force some sense into Philip’s head.’
‘Your presents are on the settee under the window.’ Julia brushed the tears from her cheek. ‘I’m not going to be miserable. Next year I’ll have a baby to love and care for – and so will you.’
