All He Ever Desired (The Kowalskis)

by Stacey, Shannon

  “I bought the underwear and the dress for me, you know.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Enjoying the party?” Rose was standing right behind them and they both jumped.

  Lauren hoped she wasn’t blushing as hotly as it felt like she was. The woman was practically a mother to Ryan and if she’d overheard their conversation, Lauren would just melt into a puddle of humiliation on the grass.

  “We’re having a great time,” Hailey said, which was good since Lauren’s voice didn’t seem to work at that moment.

  “Good. They’ll be cutting the cake soon.” Rose smiled. “And then Paige will be tossing her bouquet. I hope one of you girls catches it.”

  Lauren thought it would be hard to catch the flowers with her hands clasped behind her back, but she didn’t say so. She wanted no part of the bridal bouquet. And neither did Katie, who had come up behind her mother, judging by her expression.

  After Rose reached between them to grab a few crackers and then wandered off, Lauren slapped Hailey in the arm. “Thanks a lot.”

  “She wasn’t there long enough to hear anything good.”

  “Neither was I,” Katie said, stepping closer. “What did I miss?”

  “Lauren’s being a chickenshit and won’t ask Ryan to dance.”

  Katie looked her up and down, then shook her head. “Total waste of that dress if you don’t.”

  Lauren returned the look. Katie looked nice, if unremarkable, in a skirt-and-jacket set that was a little too big. If Lauren had to guess, she’d say it was something pulled out of Rose’s closet. “I haven’t seen you dancing with Josh.”

  Katie scoffed, but the color in her cheeks gave her away. “Please. I can barely walk in these shoes, never mind dance.”

  “You’re wearing flats,” Hailey pointed out.

  “And they’re slippery in the grass. I tried to get to the French onion dip before little Brian could double-dip his carrot stick and almost ended up on my ass.”

  “You’re both chickenshit,” Hailey declared. “Now come on, I want a good view of the cake cutting.”

  Hailey pulled her forward and she shouldn’t have been surprised when they ended up only a few feet from Ryan, who was talking to Sean and Kevin. She wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but she was so close that she really couldn’t help it.

  “I haven’t seen Liz for a while,” Sean was saying. “She’s going to miss the cake.”

  “I haven’t seen Drew, either.” That was Ryan. “Joey and Danny were looking for him because they made a sign to cover the back window of Paige’s car, but Lisa wants them to make sure Mitch won’t get a ticket because it blocks the whole back window.”

  “Drew and Liz are both missing, huh?” Kevin asked, and the suggestion was obvious in his voice.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Ryan said. “Drew’s Mitch’s best friend. He knows if he messed with his little sister, Mitch would break him in half. Drew might have gotten called away for an emergency or something.”

  Ryan turned around, probably to look for Liz, and Lauren froze when his gaze fell on her instead. She felt like an idiot, standing there staring at him with the glass of champagne halfway to her mouth, but the look in his eyes seemed to hold her and not let go.

  The man was not impervious to the dress, that much was obvious. With the way he was looking at her, she was surprised the fabric didn’t spontaneously combust, and she shivered all the way to the tips of her shoes.

  He crossed the space between them in a couple of steps. “You look beautiful tonight. Are you having a good time?”

  “Thank you. And I’m having a great time. Your family knows how to throw a party.”

  “I hear the champagne’s really good.” He nodded at the glass in her hand.

  “It’s not only really good, but there’s a lot of it. And somebody keeps refilling my glass when I’m not looking.”

  His grin made all the nerve endings in her body sizzle. “Don’t do anything you don’t want showing up on Steph’s Facebook account.”

  “I won’t.” She hoped.

  “I should go find Liz. They want to cut the cake and she’ll have a cow if she misses it.”

  She took a quick sip of liquid courage and, before he got too far away, called after him, “Save a dance for me.”

  He looked back over his shoulder and the grin had been replaced by a look she couldn’t quite decipher. “I will.”

  “See?” Hailey said when he was out of earshot. “That wasn’t so hard.”

  Lauren drained her glass and looked around for the glass-refilling fairy. One more glass wouldn’t hurt.

  * * *

  He was an idiot. That was the only word for what he was and, the worst part of it was that he couldn’t even blame alcohol. He was totally sober.

  Ryan stormed into the lodge, cursing himself for a fool as he yelled his sister’s name. He couldn’t dance with Lauren. He should have told her he was too busy doing something wedding related or come up with some other lame excuse.

  Just watching her in that dress all night had turned him into a walking erection. He’d spent more time hiding behind tables and chairs than anything else, and appearances were the least of his problems. He was afraid his balls were going to explode if he didn’t get to escape soon. Holding her in his arms in front of his entire family was nothing but a recipe for disaster.

  He was halfway up the staircase when Liz appeared at the top. She was a little flushed and he wondered if she’d had too much to drink.

  “Everybody’s looking for you,” he said. “They’re going to cut the cake in a few minutes and you don’t want to be missing from the pictures.”

  “I’m coming.” She didn’t stagger on the stairs, so he figured she must not be too drunk.

  “You doing okay?” he asked when she’d reached him. He didn’t imagine there was much worse after ending a long-term relationship than suffering through a joyful wedding.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You tell Rosie yet?”

  “No. I told you, I’m going to tell her right before I leave.”

  “Yeah, but she has a way of knowing when secrets are being kept, and that’s a pretty big one.”

  She rolled her eyes and smoothed her hands over her dress. “I’ll tell her soon. But for now, I’m going to go have cake and try not to catch the bride’s bouquet.”

  He was turning to go back outside when he heard a thump from upstairs and frowned. Running through his immediate family members in his mind, he realized everybody who had a room upstairs was out in the yard. The extended family was staying in the guest rooms.

  “Who’s up there?”

  “Probably one of the kids,” Liz said, but the flush across her cheeks grew more pronounced.

  Oh, crap, he thought. Drew freakin’ Miller was upstairs. And the chief of police had put the color in his sister’s cheeks, not the champagne.

  He did not want any part of that. God only knew how Mitch would take it. Not that it was necessarily his business, but there was kind of an unspoken code. Drew was Mitch’s best friend and Liz was his little sister. And Ryan was going to pretend he couldn’t add two plus two.

  “I hope if the kids are running around, they don’t break anything,” he said, and kept on walking.

  Somehow he ended up on the opposite side of the cake table from Lauren, which put her squarely in his line of vision.

  When she laughed at something Hailey said, her eyes sparkling with amusement, Ryan’s breath caught in his throat. He wanted to be the one making her laugh. His body ached to be close to her, but at the same time he thought that might be a very bad idea.

  He couldn’t take much more torture and that’s exactly what seeing Lauren and not touching her was. And he didn’t think dancing with her would be nearly enough
. In fact, he was pretty sure that would only make it worse. And he’d been doing a good job of hiding his feelings from his family, he thought, but if he led her out onto the makeshift dance floor, everything he felt would be on display. Not only to the family—and his brothers would be merciless—but to Lauren.

  “Ten bucks says she shoves cake up his nose,” he heard Kevin say, and he realized the cake had been cut.

  “Done,” Josh said. “She won’t do it.”

  Mitch had a small slice between his fingers and Ryan watched as he held it to Paige’s mouth so she could take a dainty bite off the end. The crowd groaned and the bride and groom both laughed. And, when Paige did the same for Mitch, he heard his cousin groan.

  “Ten bucks,” Josh said in a gloating tone as the crowd applauded the happy, frosting-free couple.

  When Ryan caught Lauren watching him over the rim of her glass, he forced himself to give her a polite smile and turn away. Maybe he could help Fran serve the cake or something. Anything to keep himself distracted.

  He’d told her he’d save her a dance, though. Because of that short-circuiting effect she had on his brain, he hadn’t been able to think on his feet fast enough to come up with a good excuse not to.

  Just thinking about holding her made his body ache, and he knew his only hope was that she was so tipsy she’d neither notice nor care if he didn’t dance with her. Or, if he couldn’t avoid it, at best he wouldn’t make a fool of himself. But he was about out of self-control when it came to Lauren.

  Chapter Ten

  The cake had been cut and the bouquet had been tossed—which Liz caught, much to her apparent horror if the look on her face was any indication. She’d tried to sit it out, but Rosie had been quick to point out that she wasn’t married and was therefore technically eligible to take part in the tradition.

  Lauren was relieved she’d escaped the curse of the bouquet and now she was about to give up on dancing with Ryan and head home. She was starting to get the feeling he was avoiding her for some reason, and she could take a hint.

  He should have just told her he was busy or tired or come up with some other excuse if he didn’t want to dance with her. It would have been less awkward then dodging her, and she would already be on her way home.

  She wasn’t quite sure how she was going to get there, though. They’d come in Hailey’s car, but Hailey had enjoyed the champagne almost as much as she had. Neither of them would be driving.

  “They’re getting ready to leave,” Hailey said, dragging Lauren toward the front yard. It wasn’t easy to keep up with her in the grass, wearing heels, but she managed not to fall down.

  Mitch and Paige were on the front porch of the lodge, posing for a few last pictures, and Lauren had to stifle a laugh when she saw Paige’s car. She’d never seen that many ribbons and cans tied to a vehicle before, and there was a huge sign in the back window that said Make Way for the Weddingmobile of Doom! Just married!

  “How legal is that car right now?” she asked Drew, whom she’d ended up next to, and who looked more relaxed than he’d been since Mallory left him.

  “Not very. The backseat being full of balloons is definitely a problem.”

  She got a little sniffly when Mitch hugged Rose and his aunt before leading his new bride through a veritable gauntlet of Kowalskis to the car. He honked the horn all the way down the driveway until they were out of sight. Then the guests all drifted around to the backyard again.

  Lauren set her empty glass on the table and waved Fran off when she held up yet another bottle. “I’ve had enough.”

  When she saw Ryan walking toward her, her breath seemed to catch in her chest. Maybe she shouldn’t dance with him. She didn’t think she was drunk, but she definitely wasn’t sober and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool out of herself in front of these people.

  “I’m told you rode over with Hailey,” he said.

  Was he going to offer to bring her home? Or maybe tell her she should stay at the lodge? With him? “Yeah.”

  “She won’t be driving anywhere tonight, so I’ll be driving you both home. Just let me know when you’re ready to go.”

  “Oh.” That was a bit of a letdown. “Okay.”

  “Wait,” Hailey said, mysteriously appearing next to her. “You guys haven’t danced yet.”

  She’d never wanted to stuff a sock in Hailey’s mouth more than she did at that moment. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “She’s right. I said I’d save you a dance.” He smiled and held out his hand, but Lauren noticed the smile didn’t quite light up his eyes.

  His fingers closed around hers, warm and strong, and he led her to where a few people were still dancing. The song was slow and romantic, and she sighed when he rested the hand not holding hers on her hip.

  Then, they simply danced. There was no sliding of his hands across the fabric of her dress. No pulling her close. No resting her head against his chest to hear if his heart was beating as fast as hers.

  Instead, he held himself so straight he was almost rigid, carefully leaving space between their bodies. His mouth was set in a straight line and he seemed content to blankly stare over the top of her head.

  Okay, so she’d misread his earlier signals. Just one more thing to blame on the champagne. Rather than suffer in excruciating silence, she tried for polite small talk. “Where are Mitch and Paige going for their honeymoon?”

  “They wouldn’t tell us.” His voice was as tense as his body.

  “She wouldn’t tell us, either.” She paused, but he didn’t say anything else. “Probably smart. Nobody likes pranks on their wedding night.”

  “Nope.”

  She gave up. The song seemed to go on forever, which would have been a good thing if Ryan wasn’t holding her as if she was Typhoid Mary.

  When it finally ended, he dropped his hands and took a step back. “Just let me know when you and Hailey are ready to go.”

  She was done. “Anytime you are.”

  “Let me round up a couple more people and then we’ll go.”

  She nodded and walked back to Hailey, who was frowning, a little of the glow gone from the evening.

  “That was painful to watch,” Hailey said.

  “We danced. That’s what you wanted and now we’re going home.”

  “Yeah, about that. Fran took my car key away like hours ago.”

  “Because Drew and Ryan are driving people home. And, lucky me, Ryan will be our chauffeur this evening.”

  “I’m going to flash the world climbing into that truck.” Hailey looked down at her short red dress as though trying to figure out what to do about it.

  It turned out she didn’t need to worry about it because, obviously foreseeing that particular risk, Ryan was using Rose’s car to play taxi service. Lauren scooted into the middle of the backseat and Hailey slid in beside her. Carl, who cooked for Paige at the diner, got in the front seat after helping his wife in on Lauren’s other side.

  During the drive to Carl’s house, Lauren swore Ryan’s eyes must have met hers in the rearview mirror a million times, and it was starting to piss her off. The guy couldn’t not look at her, but when he had the opportunity to touch her, he turned into a walking, barely talking plank of wood.

  She narrowed her eyes at his reflection and saw him lift an eyebrow at her. Then she folded her arms and stared at the back of Carl’s head.

  Once the cook and his wife were safely deposited at home, Lauren slid to the seat by the door, which made it easier to avoid looking in the mirror. She hoped she was next on his delivery schedule, but he turned toward Hailey’s house and she sighed. Logically, she knew it made sense since Hailey’s house was on the way to Lauren’s, but she didn’t really want to be in the car alone with Ryan.

  When he pulled up in front of Hailey’s, he put the ca
r in park and walked around to open her door.

  “Call me tomorrow,” she hissed before climbing out of the backseat.

  No, thanks. She didn’t particularly care to relive tonight. “’Night, Hailey.”

  Ryan leaned down to speak to her. “You want to move to the front seat?”

  “I’m fine right here, thanks.”

  He closed the door and, after Hailey was safely inside her house, he got back in the car and put it in gear. For a minute he looked as if he was going to say something, but then he hit the gas and drove in silence.

  * * *

  Normally when he drove a woman home, especially if she’d been drinking, he’d get out of his vehicle and walk her to the door, as he had with Hailey. But Ryan was afraid if he got that close to Lauren again tonight, he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of her, so he kept them on the steering wheel while she got out of the backseat.

  After she closed the door, she walked around the front of the car, which made the headlights spotlight how freaking amazing her body looked in that dress. When she walked to the passenger door, he rolled down the window and she leaned in. If he was a gentleman, he wouldn’t look at the lace bra-edging the position gave him tantalizing glimpses of.

  “Thank you for the ride. And for the dance.”

  He wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I enjoyed it.”

  “Really?” She tilted her head, scowling. “You didn’t seem very happy about it. Before the wedding, I kept thinking about what it would be like to dance with you, and it was a lot different in my imagination.”

  Don’t ask, he told himself. She wasn’t sober. What he should do was shrug, wait for her to go in the house and then drive away. “How did we dance in your imagination?”

  “Really slow.” Her voice was soft and a little husky. “And really close. Our bodies were touching and then you put your hand on my back and held me even tighter so my breasts were pressed against your chest.”

  Every rational and responsible thought in Ryan’s head scrambled as her words formed an image in his mind. “And that’s how you wanted me to dance with you?”