All He Ever Desired (The Kowalskis)

by Stacey, Shannon

  “I stole a cookie for you.”

  It was an apology and a peace offering and an I-love-you all wrapped up in one small cookie theft. She grinned and took a bite.

  * * *

  The next day, when Nick got off the bus at the lodge, he still seemed a little off, so Rose broke out the secret weapon. Fresh-from-the-oven apple pie with French-vanilla ice cream melting into the nooks and crannies. She set it in front of him, then poured him a glass of milk.

  “Your after-school snacks are awesome, Mrs. D. Thanks.”

  She took the cup of hot tea she’d just brewed and sat down across the table from him. “So how are things going, Nick?”

  “Good. I got a B on my ELA quiz.”

  “ELA?”

  “English Language Arts.”

  “Oh.” She scowled, making him laugh. “Back in the olden days, we called it English class. I’m very proud of you for getting a B. And how are things going at home?”

  His face closed off immediately and he gave her the one-shoulder shrug. “Fine. Whatever.”

  “Whatever usually means a person doesn’t want to talk about something that needs talking about.”

  He moved some pie around on his plate, watching the ice cream melt into streams running through apple chunk boulders. “It’s not like it matters.”

  “If something’s bothering you, it matters. And unless I think you’re into something dangerous or bad for you, what you say to me stays with me. You can ask my daughter or almost anybody in this town. I’m not a rat.” He still hesitated and she guessed at what was holding him back. “Even if the person you’re having a problem with is family to me.”

  When the tips of his ears got pink, she knew she’d nailed it. It didn’t take a math genius—assuming it was still called math nowadays—to see that, even though he’d shown up, he was still having some kind of problem with Ryan.

  “Whatever,” Nick said after shoveling down a few mouthfuls of pie. “He’ll probably marry my mom and they’ll have new kids and they’ll only remember I exist when they need a babysitter.”

  Whoa. There was a whole lot of telling information in that one sentence, and Rose took a long sip of her tea to give herself time to parse it out. “Do you babysit your brother and sister a lot?”

  “On the weekends, Dad and Jody go out all the time and I watch Alex and Adrienne. I mean, they’re kind of cool for little kids and I love them and everything, but Dad takes Jody shopping and they go to the movies and whatever they want. I’m just, like, the free babysitter.”

  “Have you told your dad you feel that way?” He shook his head, digging into his pie again. “Or your mom?”

  “Whatever. It’s no big deal.”

  “Young man, if you say whatever again in the course of a conversation with me, that’ll be the last baked good of mine you ever eat, do you understand?” He looked stunned, and she waited until he nodded before continuing. “It is a big deal. You need to tell your dad you’d like to do something with him on the weekends once in a while. Or at least something as a family.”

  “As the oldest, you’re going to babysit sometimes. That’s how it works in real life. But you’re his son, not a sitter, and he needs to know you feel like they’re taking advantage of you instead of looking forward to spending time with you on the weekends.”

  “I don’t know how to say it.”

  “Just say it straight out. ‘Dad, I don’t mind babysitting Alex and Adrienne so you and Jody can do things, but sometimes I’d like to do stuff as a family because I only get to see you on weekends,’ and go from there.” He nodded, washing the last of his pie down with half the glass of milk. “And about your mom and Ryan...”

  “Wha—” He stopped. “I mean, I don’t really want to talk about my mom.”

  “And that’s your business. But I’ll say one thing. You’re sixteen so you know a little about attraction between a man and a woman.” He blushed, of course, but she kept on. “And sometimes it’s just an attraction. Maybe Ryan and your mom have more than attraction and something will come of it, or maybe they don’t and he’ll go home and that’ll be the end of it. I honestly don’t know. But I do know two things. Ryan’s a good man and your mother loves you very, very much. No man or having more children or anything will change that.”

  He didn’t say anything, but he did give her a little smile, which she took as a small victory. While Liz and Katie had had no trouble pouring out their troubles to her growing up, she’d had her hands full with Mitch, Ryan, Sean and Josh. She knew getting them to just listen was something to feel good about.

  “Okay,” she said, standing up to take his plate. “Go get to work now before the boss comes looking for you.”

  Nick passed Andy on his way out the door and Rose shook her head once he’d closed it behind the boy. “You smelled that pie, didn’t you?”

  “Is there any left?”

  “Just like a man. I give an inch and you take a mile.” She took out a clean plate and served another slice. “Took me thirty years to forgive you and now here you are, hanging around my kitchen and begging for pie.”

  “Your pie’s worth the wait.” He took the plate from her and had the audacity to wink at her.

  And, good Lord, she blushed. Turning her back abruptly, she made herself busy at the sink so he wouldn’t see. “Eat that quick and get back to work before Ryan accuses me of corrupting his help again.”

  “Why don’t you sit down and have a piece of pie with me?”

  “I just had one with Nick,” she lied.

  “There was only one slice gone and one dirty plate. If you shared his, you must not have gotten much. Sixteen-year-old boys eat like wolves.”

  “I’m fine.” His chuckle made her cheeks flame again and she threw the dish towel on the counter. “I’m going to vacuum. Rinse your plate when you’re done.”

  She’d liked Andy Miller a lot more when he wasn’t allowed in her house.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When Ryan heard the bus stop at the end of the drive the following afternoon, he realized he wasn’t sure what to do with Nick. He couldn’t really have him on the roof, but that’s what they were focusing on for the time being.

  He thought about it while the kid was inside doing his homework and probably scarfing down apple pie with Rose. The guys could spare Ryan for a couple of hours. Hell, they’d probably be happy as pigs in shit not to have him looking over their shoulders for a while.

  “Hey, Josh, those four-wheelers have gas in them?”

  His brother frowned, then shrugged. “Yeah. And there’s a gas can in the garage that’s still got some in it if they need more.”

  “You mind if Nick and I take them out? He can’t be up here, so I was thinking we’d go work on the trail.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Ryan climbed down from the roof and went into the barn to get the keys. He fired two of the machines to let them warm up for a few minutes while he grabbed the chain saw off the shelf and secured it in its rack on the front of the bigger ATV. Then he grabbed a couple pairs of work gloves and branch cutters and threw them in the cargo box.

  By the time Nick came out of the house, Ryan had scrounged up a few helmets for him to try on. “You go four-wheeling with your dad, right?”

  Nick looked confused, but he nodded. “Yeah. Not a lot anymore, but sometimes.”

  “I thought we’d go cut some trail today, if you’re up to it.”

  “Yeah. Cool!”

  Once Nick had a helmet on, Ryan led the way into the woods. At first they were on established trails he’d ridden since he was a kid, but out toward the back corner, a new trail cut off.

  Part of the plan to connect Whitford to the ATV trails was an access trail that cut across the lodge’s property, and that of several other landowners.
The hope was, of course, that direct access by ATV to both the food and gas in town and the trail system would build up year-round business for the Northern Star. But it was up to them to cut the trail.

  The new path was still pretty rough, so Ryan kept a close eye on Nick, but the kid was a good rider. He kept a steady pace and it wasn’t long before they reached the spot where the fresh trail dead-ended into the woods.

  Ryan killed the engine and grabbed the gloves and cutters out of the box. “See how it’s marked?”

  Josh had been out several times with members of the ATV club and a guy from the state and they’d used orange flags and spray paint to mark where the trail needed to be.

  Nick nodded. “Everything between the orange markers has to go, right?”

  “You got it.”

  They worked side by side, cutting away brush and moving rocks. Occasionally Ryan had to fire up the chain saw and take down smaller trees. A patch of puckerbrush almost got the better of them, but they managed to clear it with only minor scratches.

  There was one large pine they skipped over. “My brothers and I will come out and deal with this one later.”

  “What about the stumps?”

  “We’ll deal with them later, too. Some weekends the guys from the ATV club come over and give a hand, so it’s not too bad.” Ryan pulled off his glove and wiped his arm across his forehead. “You know, you can come over and go riding sometime. With me, of course, or one of my brothers. You can’t be running around alone out here.”

  “Sure. Thanks.” He didn’t seem too excited about the offer. “That’d probably make my mom happy.”

  “I’m not sure why, since I didn’t invite her.”

  Nick shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “You know, ’cause we’d be bonding or whatever. Because I’m her son and you’re her...you know, whatever, so that would make her happy.”

  Ryan had to laugh. “I guess since I am her you know, whatever, it might make her happy if I bonded with you, but that’s not why I made the offer. When I was your age, I wanted to live on my four-wheeler and it doesn’t sound like you get a lot of seat time right now.”

  “Not too much. But Alex and Adrienne are getting older now, so we might ride more.”

  “It’s hard with little kids.” While he had his glove off, Ryan pulled out his phone and looked at the time. “Oh, shit.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t tell your mother I said shit.”

  “Pretty sure I’ve heard that word before.”

  “Yeah, but as her you know, whatever, I have to be on my best behavior with you. As it is, it’s later than I thought and she’s probably at the lodge waiting to kill me right now.”

  They packed up the tools and hit the trail, with Nick leading this time. He’d have to look back when they reached intersections so Ryan could point in the right direction, but he was comfortable on the machine. Not reckless, but confident, and Ryan had to admit Dean had taught the kid well.

  He wasn’t surprised to see Lauren’s car parked in the drive when they came out of the woods. Hopefully, Rose was keeping her distracted so she wasn’t fuming over the fact it was already getting dark.

  They parked the four-wheelers and put the chain saw and keys back in the barn. When they went through the back door into the kitchen, everybody turned to look. The four guys—Dill, Matt, Josh and Andy—were crowded around the sink, washing up. Rosie was at the stove and Lauren had been on her way to the dining room with a stack of plates.

  She looked at Nick, then at Ryan with one eyebrow raised. “What did you do to my son?”

  He looked at the kid, trying to figure out what she meant. He was a little sweaty and flushed from the fast ride home. His clothes were definitely filthy. Even dirtier than his skin, although the dried blood from the puckerbrush scratches probably made his arms look worse than the clothes overall. He’d even managed to get a pretty good scratch on his cheek.

  As far as Ryan could see, there was nothing wrong with him. “What do you mean?”

  Lauren laughed and gave him a look that seemed to promise good things in the near future, then continued on to the dining room, shaking her head.

  Nick elbowed him, distracting him from the delicious view of Lauren walking away. “Do I look as bad as you do?”

  “Probably about the same.” He looked down at himself. “But your mom doesn’t buy my clothes, so you’re in more trouble than I am.”

  “Since you can’t tell time, I invited Lauren and Nick to stay for lasagna,” Rosie said.

  Andy laughed. “Actually she told Lauren she and Nick were staying for lasagna.”

  “You, on the other hand, are welcome to go on home and open up a can of something for your dinner,” Rose told him.

  Ryan couldn’t see Rose’s face because she was at the counter, transferring dinner rolls from a baking pan to a plate, but he could see Andy’s. The man definitely liked pushing the housekeeper’s buttons, and Ryan thought that was pretty ballsy for a man who’d spent several decades on the woman’s shit list.

  Lauren took the plate of rolls from Rose and, by the time Ryan and Nick managed to get clean enough to eat, everybody was sitting around the dining room table. Josh sat at the head, as he had since their dad had passed despite Mitch being the oldest, so Ryan sat at the foot of the table. Nick pulled out the chair on the other side of Lauren, so they were both on his left. It felt right to him, having them there at his family’s dinner table.

  Maybe it felt a little too right. It was so easy to picture them doing this every night, like a family. But this wasn’t his table. His was down in Mass, and Lauren had her own table.

  “Get much cleared out there?” Josh asked him when they’d all filled their plates.

  “A bit. About a quarter-mile from the brook now.” They’d have to build a bridge over the brook to preserve it, but they were hoping if they supplied the lumber, the ATV club would give them a hand with the construction.

  “Excellent. I think we might be able to break through to the main trail before the snow flies. Won’t be in good enough shape to groom it for sleds yet, but it’ll be settled for spring.”

  Ryan nodded, then pointed his fork at Nick. “You already know the kid’s a good worker, but he’s a hell of a rider, too. If you need a hand, you should give him a shout and see if he’s free to come over.”

  Nick beamed, but Lauren didn’t look quite as pleased with the praise. “Umm...I don’t find my son being deemed a hell of a rider by a Kowalski very comforting for some reason. You weren’t going fast, were you, Nick?”

  “Of course not.” The kid obviously wanted to deflect his mother’s attention, because he pointed at Ryan. “He was cursing in front of me, though.”

  Ryan’s jaw dropped and, when Lauren turned to look at him, Nick mimicked pointing and snickering at him behind her head.

  “You little rat.” He picked up his dinner roll and cocked his arm.

  Rose slammed her hand down on the table. “Ryan Kowalski! If you throw that roll, you’ll be cleaning the entire kitchen, alone, every night for the rest of the time you’re here.”

  “You do realize I can get in my truck and go home anytime, right?” She just kept giving him the look, waiting him out. He set the roll back on the edge of his plate. “Sorry.”

  Everybody but Rose, including the miscreant who’d thrown him under the bus and the two guys he paid to respect his authority, laughed at him.

  “It’s all right, kid,” he said to Nick. “Rose can’t save you forever.”

  Then he winked at Lauren and went back to his lasagna.

  By the time they were done eating and Lauren had helped with the cleanup over Rose’s objections, it was getting late and Ryan knew she had to get home. He’d rather have sat on the porch with her for a while, but he walked her and Nick
to her car instead.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow night,” he said, and then he leaned in through the open window to kiss her goodbye. “Have a good time with your dad this weekend, Nick.”

  “Yeah, thanks.”

  He watched until the taillights faded into the darkness, then went back inside to take a long, hot shower. Physical labor might be good for the soul, but keeping up with a sixteen-year-old wasn’t good for the body.

  * * *

  On Friday morning, Ryan realized they didn’t have enough flashing on hand, an oversight for which he thoroughly reamed Dill and Matt.

  Of course, mentioning he was going to run into town real quick and grab some at the hardware store caused Rosie to remember she was out of half-and-half and she didn’t have enough eggs for baking, and ten minutes later he had an entire list. And Josh decided he just had to get a haircut.

  “It’s tickling my ears,” he said when Ryan rolled his eyes.

  “Twenty minutes,” he grumbled as they climbed into his truck. “It was going to take me twenty minutes, tops, and now half the day’s going to be gone.”

  “How do you not have an ulcer? You should relax.”

  If Ryan was an asshole, he’d point out Kowalski Custom Builders ran further into the black every year, while the Northern Star was barely treading water, and ask if maybe his brother thought there was a correlation to the whole “relax” thing. It would be a shitty thing to say, though, so he kept his mouth shut.

  Besides, once Mitch had really dug into the books and laid it all out for them, Ryan didn’t see how Josh had kept the place going on his own for so long. It certainly hadn’t been by relaxing.

  They swung by the barbershop first. Ryan’s original intention was to drop Josh off and go to the market alone, but he hadn’t seen a lot of Katie and the day was already half shot to hell anyway.

  With the Red Sox knocked out of the post-season, Katie had transitioned to football. The Patriots logo on her ball cap matched the sweatshirt, and Ryan smiled when he saw her. She wasn’t a woman who wasted a lot of time shopping. A trip through a sporting goods store, a few pairs of jeans and she was good.