No Filter (No Shame Series Book 1)

by Nora Phoenix

  Indy bit his lip. Maybe this was as scary and vulnerable for Noah as it was for him. Noah couldn’t feel all that comfortable with showing his scars to someone else. His were as bad as Indy’s, and he always kept them hidden, except from Josh, but he’d admitted he never even showered with Josh. Is he equally afraid of being rejected? The thought that this big, wicked strong man was scared of anything was almost incomprehensible.

  Indy’s eyes traveled up and found those angry scars on Noah’s legs. He’d shown him once that his wounds didn’t make a lick of difference to him, but maybe he should do it again? Show him how sexy he was? He’d love to gift Noah that, at least.

  Should he ask permission? No. Noah had said his body was Indy’s, that Indy could touch him anywhere, anytime.

  He dropped to his knees on the wet tiles and brought his lips to Noah’s left ankle, kissing it softly. Noah let out a groan and Indy looked up quickly to check that it was okay. Noah looked down with so much gratitude and affection that Indy refocused on what he was doing. He followed the trail of the scars with kisses, all the way from Noah’s left ankle up to his thigh. The scars were rough under his lips. Fuck, Noah must have been in excruciating pain for weeks, months even. No wonder he’d needed Josh to bring him relief.

  He reached out a tentative finger to the stump, brushing the red marks on the bottom. He wanted to make Noah feel better, to ease the pain. His mouth went to the stump automatically, and he dropped kisses there, too. Noah’s knuckles turned white in a brutal grip on the handrail as Indy was caressing and showering his stump with love.

  Indy leaned back on his knees and looked up, which brought him face-to-face with Noah’s thick cock. It was halfway hard, a powerful sight that made Indy’s belly quiver. He was uncut, an unfamiliar sight for Indy.

  He wanted to touch it. Feel what it felt like in his hand. His mouth. On his tongue.

  Could he? Should he? Was he ready for this?

  Pushing down all logical objections, Indy reached out and stroked the shaft in front of him with one finger. It immediately jumped up, growing harder.

  Indy smiled.

  He caressed it again, dragging his nail all the way from the base down to the crown. It responded with a quiver, stretching and filling even further. The head now peeked out and Indy brought his mouth close, took an experimental lick with the tip of his tongue.

  “Holy fuck,” Noah exploded, grabbing the other handrail as well.

  Indy looked up with innocent eyes. “You like?” he asked.

  Noah’s jaw was tight. “Fuck, yeah. Anything you’re comfortable with, baby.”

  Baby. There’s that word again. It made Indy feel so wanted, so safe and protected. He licked again, lapping Noah’s crown with a wet tongue.

  He reached out with his hand, circled the base of Noah’s cock. It was so thick and his hands were so small, he couldn’t even circle it completely. He took Noah’s right ball in his other hand, rolled it, squeezed it softly before doing the same with his left testicle. They were so full and big. Beautiful. Everything on this man was beautiful.

  How would it feel to have Noah fuck him, to be filled with that thick cock? He bit his lip. What did it say about him that after all he’d endured, he still thought of himself as a bottom? When he looked at Noah, he imagined himself taking, not giving.

  Every now and then when Duncan had been generous and patient enough to bother with prep and lube, Indy had gotten a taste of how good bottoming could be. There was something so fulfilling, literally, in being filled with dick. He could only imagine how much better it would be with someone who respected him, who would treat him as an equal, even when fucking the shit out of him. Someone like Noah.

  And Noah was way bigger and thicker than Duncan, so he’d be so completely full with cock. The idea made him hard as fuck, even as his stomach churned at the same time. Fear and arousal battled inside him, and Indy had no idea which would win.

  “You okay?” Noah asked between clenched teeth.

  Indy got up from his knees, letting his body slide up against Noah’s until he could nestle his head against that broad chest, wrapping both his arms around Noah’s waist. Noah’s hard cock was poking against his stomach, a wonderful feeling.

  “I was imagining what it would feel like to have your cock inside of me,” he said, opting for honesty.

  Noah’s right arm came around him, strong and tight. His mouth brushed Indy’s ear, as the hot water rained down on their naked bodies.

  “And? How did you imagine it would feel?” Noah’s voice was raw.

  “So full. You’d fuck the living daylights out of me with your thick cock. My mind says you won’t hurt me, and that it would feel so good, that you would make it good for me. But at the same time I’m so scared, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.”

  A violent tremble racked Noah’s body, but otherwise he remained still. The man had promised he wouldn’t do anything Indy didn’t want, even if Indy was being a cocktease. He was proving he had a tight fucking rein on his want and temper. Indy’s shoulders relaxed.

  “Fuck, you turn me on, baby. I can’t wait to fill that sweet, round ass of yours with my cock. But I’ll wait till you’re ready. Even if it takes weeks or months, I’ll wait. I get that you’re scared, and we won’t do anything you don’t want, I promise. You can trust me, baby.”

  The words reached deep inside Indy, turning him on and comforting him at the same time. It was a gift Noah had, knowing what to say. He believed him, but why the fuck would Noah be willing to wait for him? He could have Josh at any time, and surely there would be dozens of others available if he tried. Shit, men and women would fucking line up for him. So why did he want Indy? It didn’t make sense. He couldn’t deny Noah’s reactions, though. The man was aroused by Indy, for whatever reason. Maybe, for now, that had to be enough.

  They stood like that for minutes, the warm water cascading down on their entwined bodies. Indy completely relaxed in Noah’s embrace, his heart and mind secure with Noah’s honor and control.

  “Can I wash you?” Indy finally asked.

  “Please.” Noah’s voice was still hoarse.

  Indy stepped back, grabbed a washcloth and some Axe shower gel, squeezing a healthy amount on the cloth. He reached for Noah’s right arm, started to wash him from his fingers up to his shoulder, turning the arm to get the inside as well. He had to stretch out to reach all of him.

  He did the other arm after Noah had transferred his weight to the other handrail. His chest was next, then his stomach, the tight muscles rippling under Indy’s care. He ducked behind Noah to wash his back, daringly dropping his hand to wash Noah’s butt as well.

  He hesitated when he came to Noah’s crack, but the guy made it easy for him by spreading his legs and giving Indy access. He should be weirded out by washing another man’s crack and hole, but he wasn’t. He loved sharing this intimacy with Noah, taking care of him.

  He dropped to his knees again to wash Noah’s legs, first the whole leg and then the stump. All that was left was his dick, which was still rock hard.

  “Indy, it’s—”

  “I’ll do it,” Indy interrupted him. He gently washed Noah’s balls, taking care to rinse them off well, then continued to soap his member clean. When it was completely soap-free, he kissed it, because he wanted to.

  Indy stood when he was done, proud and happy with what he had done for Noah. He looked up and met Noah’s eyes. They shone with such fierce want it made Indy’s stomach swirl. Fuck, he really wants you.

  “Kiss me,” he told Noah.

  Noah wanted to lift Indy so they’d be on equal heights, but he didn’t dare it on the slippery shower tiles without his prosthesis. He shut the water off, the shower cabin still steamy enough to keep them warm. Then he lowered himself to the floor, taking Indy with him, raising him up by his hips once Noah sat down and placing him on his lap. It brought Noah’s cock dangerously close to Indy’s ass. Would it be too much for him? Indy wrapped his arms around Noah�
��s neck and pulled him in, fusing their mouths together.

  Noah moaned when their tongues met. Finally. It felt like he had waited forever for this. Indy tasted so sweet, like a fresh meal after a lifetime of ready-to-eat shit. He could taste traces of the caramel hard candy Indy seemed addicted to.

  Fuck, the man could kiss. He was all in, his mouth exploring and sucking and licking and biting. Noah dug his fingers into Indy’s ass to pull him even closer. He wanted nothing between them, not even air.

  He kept one hand on Indy’s ass, the other in his curls, making sure to never put pressure on him. His cock was throbbing with need, but he ignored it. He’d deal with it later. Right now, he wanted to drown in Indy’s mouth, feast on his lips, and nothing else. It was enough.

  They kissed for a long time, their bodies slowly growing cold on the outside, though Noah’s blood was pumping and cooking on the inside. His cock was unrelenting, bordering on painful after being denied release for so long. He noted with deep satisfaction that Indy was rock hard as well, his dick prodding against Noah’s stomach.

  “Fuck, Josh was so right. You kiss like it’s the last thing you’ll ever get to do,” he whispered, finally tearing his mouth away. Indy’s eyes stared at him dreamily, his cheeks rosy and his lips swollen and red. Noah lifted his hand from Indy’s hair, brushed his cheeks.

  “Can I help you come?” he asked.

  Indy stilled. Noah waited patiently, not wanting to put any pressure on him.

  “How?” Indy finally asked.

  “I could jerk us off together.”

  Indy’s teeth went in his bottom lip again. “Okay.”

  Noah smiled. He brought his mouth back to Indy’s, diving in for another wet and erotic kiss. Once Indy relaxed into the kiss, he wriggled his hand between their bodies, bringing their cocks together. There was not enough space to maneuver, so he broke off their kiss with some regret. If he could do nothing else but kiss him for the rest of his life, he’d die a happy man, even if his balls turned fucking blue.

  “Move back a little,” he told Indy, who obediently scooted back a couple of inches, staying on Noah’s lap. Indy leaned back, putting his hands on the tile floor. It gave Noah the room he needed to mesh both their cocks together in his hand. There was something sweet about seeing Indy’s slender dick next to his thick shaft, so indicative of their differences in build and size.

  Noah slipped his thumb over the crown of his own cock, which was dripping with precum. He did the same with Indy’s dick, mingling their fluids together in a tantalizing move that made them both shiver.

  “You like my hand on your cock?” Noah asked softly.

  Indy nodded, his eyes glued to the mesmerizing view of their two members meshed together in Noah’s hand. Noah swiped their cocks again, looking for more lubrication. He repeated the move a few times until he was satisfied he had enough lube to slick both their cocks.

  Slowly he shafted their dicks downward, rubbing them closely together. It felt unbelievably good, tight and slippery in his hand. He did it again, watching Indy’s face closely for any signs he wasn’t okay anymore. But Indy’s eyes never left their groins, his cheeks reddening with arousal.

  “Your hand is so big and strong,” Indy whispered.

  Noah swallowed. Fuck, he had to fight to keep himself in check. He wanted nothing more than to flip Indy over and bury his cock deep into that sweet ass. The thought alone made him shiver, and he increased the pressure on their dicks. His insides hummed, his nuts signaling it was time to get a fucking move on.

  Sweat beaded on Noah’s forehead as he started jerking them off in earnest. Indy’s mouth went slack, and he let his head hang back, his eyes closed.

  “Ooooh,” he moaned, shivering. “P-p-perfect, Noah. S-so good.”

  The sight of Indy losing himself to pleasure was intoxicating, maybe even more than the tight grip Noah had around their dicks. God, Indy was beautiful, his swollen lips mumbling soft encouragements.

  Noah couldn’t keep this up much longer. He hadn’t come yet today, and his body was demanding release. His balls were so fucking full and tight, they were ready to explode by now.

  “Indy,” he started, then held back a deep moan. He was so close. Too close. “Fuck, I’m…I can’t…”

  Noah gave another frantic jerk and surrendered to the overwhelming need to come. He held on to their cocks as he started spurting thick shots of cum all over Indy’s chest and legs. Right after Noah had jacked the last cum out of his own dick, Indy came with a hoarse shout, releasing his jizz in Noah’s hand.

  “Fuck, that was intense,” Noah said as soon as he was able to form words again. He watched as his cum dripped off Indy onto the floor. “I didn’t mean to shoot all over you.”

  Indy grinned, his eyes still hazy. “You can’t tell me you don’t like seeing me covered in your cum,” he said with a sly smile.

  Noah laughed. “Fuck, baby, you’re sexier than ever like that.”

  Indy dragged a finger through Noah’s jizz, dropped it on the floor. “I thought the whole idea of a shower was to get clean. Now we have to start all over again.”

  “You’re complaining?” Noah asked in feigned indignation.

  Indy let out a carefree laugh that hit Noah hard. “Fuck, no.” He slid farther forward and leaned in to kiss Noah. Without meaning to, Noah’s cock slipped between Indy’s legs and bumped against his hole. They both froze, their mouths an inch away from each other.

  “I’m sorry,” Noah muttered, “I didn’t mean to …”

  “You know what would make me look even more sexy than having your cum all over my chest?” Indy whispered. He gyrated his hips, making Noah’s dick slick against his entrance.

  “What?”

  “Having your cum drip out of my ass.”

  The visual made Noah’s eyes roll back in his head. He was sorely tempted to let Indy know what would happen if he kept teasing him like that, until he saw the look of shock on Indy’s face. Obviously, Indy’s lack of filter had caused him to say something he regretted now. He must have realized the same thing that had flashed through Noah’s mind. One thrust, and he’d be inside him.

  “Noah, I’m sorry…” Indy stammered.

  “You’re right, you know,” Noah said, kissing him softly. “That would look even better. Can’t wait to see it, to feel my dick inside you. But Indy, until you ask me to fuck you, I won’t. Not even if you tease me, tempt me, or shake your delicious butt right in my face. I will not touch you unless I have your permission. Until then, you can say or do anything, tease me as much as you want. I may have to excuse myself to jack off, but I will never break my promise to you.”

  Indy was quiet the rest of the day. Noah could’ve made full use of the fact that he got to boss Indy around, but he didn’t. He seemed to feel that their shower encounter had changed something in Indy. It had.

  Indy had often gotten into trouble for his lack of filter. His mouth always seemed to speak faster than his brain could process potential problems. More than once he’d gotten the shit beaten out of him for saying what was on his mind. Duncan had smacked him around a few times, for sure. In the last year and a half or so he’d been with him it hadn’t taken much to provoke Duncan, as his temper had been fueled by coke and troubles with his crew. Indy had learned to walk on eggshells and above all to be guarded, even if it was completely against his character.

  Being with Noah and Josh had freed him from that caution. He heard himself react spontaneously and carefree, like he had when he’d been a kid. The stuff he’d said to Noah, especially about sex and how he felt about him, it could have gotten him into all kinds of trouble with a less honorable and disciplined man. What guy would rein himself in when he was fooling around naked with a guy who talked about cum dripping out of his ass? Shit, he couldn’t believe he’d said that.

  He’d meant it, wholeheartedly. Fuck, it had been exactly the image that had played in his mind when Noah confirmed how good Indy looked covered in cum. Indy had looked
at Noah’s cock, that delicious thick shaft, and had once again imagined it in his hole. The idea of Noah shooting his load up his ass had made him hard again, which was why he’d said it.

  But fuck, he should have thought first. You couldn’t say shit like that without people thinking you meant it as an invitation. Best case scenario, you were considered a damn cocktease and worst case scenario, well, he’d lived through that already, hadn’t he?

  He couldn’t understand how so much had changed in such a short time. Only weeks ago he’d been living as a woman, focused on staying alive, and he had shrunk away from anybody touching him. Now he was living with two guys, and he craved touch, especially Noah’s. It was as if his mind and body had been awakened, set free after a long imprisonment. He felt so alive with Noah, so fucking wanted and safe. And horny.

  Holy fuck, he’d never been so horny in his life. He was hard half the day, just thinking about Noah or being in his presence. Those powerful muscles, that big, dominant body, the way he saw straight to Indy’s very soul—it all turned him on.

  Yet he’d kept Noah at a distance until today, at least physically. Every time he was tempted to give in, to crawl on Noah’s big body and give in to that maddening desire to be fucked by the beautiful man, he held back. Noah wanted him something fierce, Indy didn’t doubt that anymore. And the man clearly didn’t give a shit about the scars on his back.

  But the scars on the inside, that was a different story. Once Noah found out how fucked up Indy was, the things he had done, what he was running from—there was no way he’d still love him.

  Wait, love? Want. Noah wants you. He hasn’t spoken of love, has he? You’re delusional if you think this man could ever love a fuck-up like you.

  Indy studied Noah, who was lying on the couch, engrossed in something he was watching on his iPad while Indy was pretending to read in one of the chairs. Did Noah love him?

  The thought froze his veins. Nobody had ever loved him. That wasn’t a whiny I-feel-so-sorry-for-myself assessment. It was the fucking truth. His mom had been too fucked up to be capable of love, a fact he’d known since he was young and had seen confirmed when she’d handed him over to Duncan.