A Life Less Lonely

by Jill Barry

  He shook his head. “You’re the perfect hostess but I’m driving, don’t forget.”

  She leaned forward as if daring him to gaze at her cleavage. “You don’t have to worry about that,’ she whispered. “You could stay here … leave early tomorrow morning. We could enjoy each other’s company tonight. Two single people. No strings, Keir. I don’t cling. Nor will I ever kiss and tell.”

  They gazed at one another. This was a quiet cul-de-sac, he thought. No one would know or care what he got up to. How strange life was. A few weeks ago, he might even have been tempted. He didn’t particularly enjoy all those evenings on his own, nor did he appreciate being invited along to dinner parties as a convenient spare male to balance the numbers. He found making small talk torturous and he never knew half the names of the celebrities whom almost everyone but him seemed to have intimate knowledge of these days.

  Moira sat back again and sipped her wine. “Talk to me, Keir. Am I out of order here? Can I ask if you and Andrea Palmer are becoming an item?”

  He sat up straight. “Sorry?”

  “I don’t have to spell it out, surely? I do have some knowledge of body language, you know. It’s quite obvious something’s going on between the two of you. I especially noticed it this morning. You were seated side by side but you were both incredibly careful not to make contact with one another. If you’re trying to hide something, it’s not actually working.” Her smile was sly.

  “Moira, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Dr Palmer and I are close colleagues, nothing more. It’s not been all that long since she was widowed, you know. And she has family responsibilities. Lots of plates to keep spinning.”

  “Poor Andrea, yes, I am aware of her predicament. And I can understand how, kind and generous as you are, you can well do without the hassle.” She put down her glass and sat forward in her chair. “You need someone uncomplicated to unwind with – someone who doesn’t have a son to find a replacement father for. You and I are kindred spirits, Keir. Why not give me a chance? We could be very, very good for each other.” Her voice dropped to a purr.

  He’d taken only two sips of wine from the half-glass she insisted on pouring for him. Now he replaced it carefully on the art deco coaster and got to his feet. “Moira, I don’t want to be rude but I really do have to go. I have some calls to make. You’re a very attractive woman but I respect your professionalism too much to jeopardise it.” He paused but she made no response. “To be honest, I don’t think I’m the right man for you.”

  She stood up too and came towards him, lacing her arms around his waist and snuggling against him, pushing her breasts against his chest. He experienced a rush of anger made all the more difficult because she’d succeeded in arousing him. His recent experience with Andrea had awoken his libido and now at this most inconvenient of times, it betrayed him by sending entirely the wrong message.

  Moira was not about to let him escape. “That’s better,” she said in that silky, smoky voice of hers. “That’s so very much better.” He felt her slide her left hand down his right thigh, slowly and deliberately.

  “Enough!” He pulled away from her. “Can’t you get it into your head, Moira? I’m not interested.”

  Her smile was no longer beguiling. “Why, you bastard,” she snapped. “Men don’t turn me down, Keir. You’ve just made a very bad mistake.”

  “No, Moira, I think it’s you who’s made the mistake. I don’t involve myself with my colleagues. I’m sorry. Perhaps I should have made that clear before I came into your home.”

  “Yes, maybe you should, Dr Harrison.”

  He knew she found a certain pleasure in his discomfiture. He also knew he could be on rocky ground. Would she decide he must pay the penalty for doing what he’d considered to be a good turn? This was nothing like that impulsive, urgent kiss between Andrea and himself. This was far more dangerous but for a different reason.

  “I think I’d better leave,” he said. “Let’s go back to square one.” Even to his ears the remark sounded incriminating.

  She pursed her lips. “OK, fine. Whatever you say, Keir, but when you get back to that empty house of yours, just take a few minutes to think what you might be missing.” This time her smile was teasing, seductive and very, very knowing.

  They walked into the hallway and suddenly she moved in on him again. Her mouth found his lips and she kissed him with a great deal of determination. Caught off guard, for one tense moment, he almost gave in. But the memory of Andrea’s mouth, the taste of her and the smell of her was too recent for him to do what Moira so obviously had in mind. Keir froze. His arms remained at his sides and after a few moments she broke away and wrenched his jacket from the hallstand.

  “OK, have it your own way,” she said. “Goodnight Mr Iceman, it was worth a try, I suppose. Thanks again for the lift.”

  “I’m glad I could help,” he said, slinging his coat over one shoulder. “I’m sorry, Moira. It’s not that I find you unattractive, please believe me.”

  “Goodbye Keir,” she said and opened the door. “Our paths will keep crossing. Some things, you just shouldn’t fight. You wait and see if I’m not right …”

  ***

  Keir drove off, knowing he was too rattled to travel far. He left the close where Moira lived and on his way back into town, he pulled into a supermarket car park and drove to the far end. It was a relief to park and cut the engine. He leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes. The woman was lethal, and obviously jealous of Andrea. It was quite an insult because Moira had a lot going for her too. Without the kind of responsibilities Andrea shouldered, Moira could have a great life.

  He grinned as it occurred to him that was probably what she aimed to achieve, though why she’d picked on him was a mystery. He didn’t exactly have the reputation of being a party animal. But he enjoyed the company of an intelligent woman who was on his wavelength as much as he enjoyed discussions with not only his colleagues, but also the tradesmen he needed to employ from time to time. Keir had neither the expertise nor the time for DIY and had a great deal of respect for people who could hang wallpaper and paint ceilings without changing their hair colour.

  He shook his head. Poor Moira, obviously, when she approached him in the car park, he should have had the wit to tell her he was on his way to an important appointment before calling a cab for her on his mobile. The whole incident had been a total embarrassment for both of them. He’d obviously hurt her pride but she’d made the overture. Just because he was single didn’t mean he was constantly on the prowl. That criticism of body language and personal stuff about Andrea had been embarrassingly awful and he could only think Moira had temporarily lost control of her senses.

  But hadn’t he noticed her sideways glances rather a lot over the last few months? Ever since she’d taken up nursing at Hartnett and entered his orbit, in fact. Of course she’d done her homework and knew he was single and lived alone. His peers teased him about his so-called eligibility but he believed he came over as uptight. He’d been entirely truthful with Moira though. He had no wish to be anything but her colleague.

  At once he thought of Andrea who possessed equally strong opinions about her relationship with him. That situation differed entirely. She and he each recognised the erotic tension each of them created when around each other. He still felt unsettled, still wished he could talk to someone. He wished that someone could be Andrea. But unfortunately the only woman eager for his company was someone who made him feel he was being eyed up by a predator. The only woman whose company he longed for was one who’d made it painfully clear she wanted to be nothing more than his colleague and friend. Talk about sending in the clowns.

  Keir glanced at his car clock. It was only ten past seven. He dug into his pocket for his phone and searched names beginning with the letter P. It was worth trying. He listened as the ringing tone began.

  ***

  Andrea flung herself across the lawn, totally missing the white ball whizzing annoyingly thr
ough the air and way beyond her reach.

  “Yay,” yelled Josh. “I’ve won! I’ve won!”

  “Yep. You’re a star,” said his mother.

  “Another go each?” Josh asked hopefully.

  “All right, but then we need to get you in the bath.”

  She’d just managed to kick the ball past Josh but with him still having scored twice the number of goals she had, when she heard her phone ringing.

  “Bother,” she said. “Josh, can you pick up your toys, please? I’ll just see who that is.”

  She ran in through the patio doors and picked up her mobile from the coffee table. “Hello?”

  “Is this a good time, Andrea?”

  She gulped. Closed her eyes. Wished he could fly down the phone line to her. Correction; she longed for him to fly down the phone line to her. “Um, it depends. Josh is just about to jump in the bath.”

  There was a pause. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disrupt your evening.”

  That rich dark voice of his sounded so subdued. Suddenly, she very much wanted him to disrupt her evening. She couldn’t help herself, in spite of her pronouncements. Something must be wrong for him to ring her like this. He wasn’t stupid. And nor was she made of stone, for goodness sake. “Would you like me to ring you back, Keir?”

  Again she noticed that hesitation.

  “I was really hoping you’d let me call round and talk to you. But if you don’t feel that’s appropriate, I shall understand.”

  “Right. Well, um, it sounds as though it’s something you’d rather deal with as soon as possible?” He sounded anguished. Well, she knew a lot about that state of mind.

  “It is,” he said. “It’s an important matter and not something I want to deal with during working hours.”

  “Where are you now?”

  “In my car.”

  She suppressed a chuckle. “I meant how far away from here?”

  “Ah, I see. Probably I’m about four miles from your house.”

  “Why don’t you come round after Josh is in bed? Give me an hour and I’ll be sorted.”

  “What if the doorbell wakes him when I arrive?”

  “Josh can sleep for Britain,” she said. “See you in a bit.”

  Keir kept on staring at the phone in his hand. She’d agreed to see him. He put the phone away, suddenly remembering he was parked in a supermarket car park with an hour to spare. This was a golden opportunity to give his store cupboard a treat, if only he could remember what he’d run out of. If only he could stop hoping and dreaming and get back to his reality.

  Chapter Ten

  “Sweet dreams, little one.” Andrea hugged Josh and left him listening to one of his favourite CDs. Already his eyelids fluttered but he shot her a smile, so heartrendingly like his dad’s. Greg’s son had inherited his long, dark eyelashes. It was odd how a small detail, a fleeting expression on Josh’s face, could unleash an unexpected deluge of love.

  She sighed and went into her own room to change from T-shirt and shorts into a loose pink cotton top and black leggings. She pushed her feet into purple suede loafers and stood before her mirror to pull her hair from its scrunchie and brush out the tangles so hard for soccer players to avoid during a game.

  When she walked downstairs, Josh already slept. She switched off his music and pulled his door halfway closed, arriving downstairs just as she heard the sound of a car pull up outside.

  When she opened the front door, Keir, carrier bag hooked over one wrist, was paying off a taxi, which seemed very odd given he’d said he was ringing from the car when he called earlier. Instead of his well-cut suit, he wore a polo shirt and a pair of chinos, still managing to look smart.

  As soon as he began walking up the path towards her, Andrea knew she was a hopeless case. It was pointless trying to pretend otherwise and she couldn’t even greet him properly because of the flood of emotion engulfing her. She’d better get used to keeping these feelings of hers in rein.

  “Hey,” he said. “Are you all right? Andrea?”

  She pulled herself together as best she could. “I’m fine. Just a bit whacked after today. We had a game of football then bath time - typical day really.”

  “I’m sorry. It can take a while to get over jet lag too.” His eyes couldn’t hide his concern. “You should have told me to get lost. I didn’t mean to make your day even more difficult.”

  If only she could admit the truth. How much she cared yet couldn’t commit. But still she held back. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to moan. Let’s go into the kitchen and find something to drink.”

  He thrust his hand into the carrier bag. “I brought a bottle of wine and a few beers, just in case. They’re still cold from the chill cabinet. I, um, did some shopping after I rang you then realised I needed to drive home and put stuff in my fridge.”

  That explained the taxi. “I see,” she said. “Well, that’s very kind of you. First those fabulous roses and now wine.” As soon as the words left her mouth she knew he’d probably think she sounded like a suspicious wife.

  He shook his head and followed her into the kitchen. “It’s not a charm offensive,” he said. “I didn’t want to barge in empty-handed. Anyway, you’ve already thanked me for the flowers. You didn’t need to write me a letter though.”

  That dreadful, polite little note! She felt warmth rush to her cheeks. She knew this was one of the things Greg had loved about her, her ability to blush and turn his heart over. What was happening here? Whatever Keir needed to say, she must keep things on a strictly professional basis. It would have been better if they had met somewhere neutral like a coffee shop or even the park. But she had to admit, here, in her own home, it felt good to have adult company. Even though she wondered what could be important enough for Keir to see her away from the hospital or the university. Maybe it was to do with her mother’s condition.

  She remembered her manners. “I’m afraid that was a very stilted little note,” she said, reaching for two glasses. “I didn’t want to send mixed messages.”

  “I think I’ve got the message, thank you. It’s whether I can change your mind about it that’s the important thing. I can’t go on like this, Andrea. And I need to be absolutely sure where I stand before making any decision about the future.”

  It was the sincerity in Keir’s voice, the voice capable of stealing her reason and dismantling her defences. His words caused Andrea’s heartbeat to forget to behave as all well-behaved female hearts should. She took a packet of salted nuts from a cupboard and reached for something to empty them into. Her hand trembled as it closed around a small jug. Hastily she replaced the jug with a bowl. Hoped he hadn’t noticed her flustered state.

  “Let’s go into the sitting room,” she said.

  ***

  Keir waited for her to settle into one of the two leather armchairs either side of the hearth. He hesitated for a couple of beats then sat down on the settee. It seemed to be the tactful thing to do.

  “How did Josh enjoy his football game?” Keir’s eyes focused upon a colourful framed photograph on the pine sideboard. It was undoubtedly the small boy and his dad, sporting identical grins. Greg seemed to radiate health and energy and Keir felt a pang of compassion for the fatherless family. How could he possibly persuade this lovely woman to let him into her life when she still fought grief?

  “Enjoy is an understatement,” she said, sipping her Chardonnay. “By the way, have you eaten?”

  He felt a twinge of embarrassment. “Um, no, but I had a decent lunch.”

  “I’m going to need a sandwich soon so you’re very welcome to join me.”

  He forgot tact. He forgot to reason. “I want to share more than a sandwich with you, Andrea,” said Keir.

  She put down her glass, her expression serious. “We’ve already gone through this, Keir. I invited you here this evening because I assumed there must be something of importance you needed to say to me, away from the hospital.”

  “You’re not wrong a
bout that. What I have to say is hugely important.”

  “Then you have my full attention.”

  There was that brittle, bright smile again. He ached to go over to her, gently draw her to her feet and hold her close. He forced himself to remain where he was but leaned forward, hands clasped.

  “First of all, contrary to what people, including you, may think, I don’t play the field or whatever today’s equivalent of that may be. In other words, what happened between us in Montreal didn’t happen simply through physical need.” His voice dropped to a huskier tone. “I wanted to take you to bed, Andrea, because I happen to have fallen very deeply in love with you. I can’t help it, and I won’t hide it from you. And, at the risk of embarrassing you, I don’t think you invited me to your room just for a bit of fun. I think … I hope you might be experiencing the kind of sensations I am. The eternal, all-consuming sort of sensation…I don’t mean to sound clichéd, Andrea, but I love you.”

  The last words slipped out before he could stop them. He noticed she was looking down at her rings, twisting them round and round her finger.

  “No way do I want to rush you,” he said, dropping the words like pebbles into a silent pool. “No way do I have any intention of trying to replace Greg.” He watched the delicate line of her throat as she swallowed hard. “That would be impossible.” His voice was gentler now, less urgent. “Darling Andrea, I just want a chance to help you heal. I want to be around for you and I don’t mean just take you out for dinner when you can find a babysitter. I’d like to get to know you properly and when I say you, I mean you and your family. Because … because I can’t bear to have you in my life merely as a colleague. Not when there’s so much more I want to be.”

  She remained silent, eyes downcast.

  “I know we haven’t known each other very long,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “but already we’ve shared a lot of experiences. You know how passionate I am about my career. I think you share that passion. You did a brilliant job at the conference. We maintained an entirely professional front and we can be the same now. We don’t have to broadcast the fact that we’re anything but colleagues until we, and I specifically mean you, are ready to do so.”