A Life Less Lonely

by Jill Barry

  “Do you want to know what I think?”

  “Hit me with it,” he said. “I can handle it and I have a hunch you’ll be honest.”

  “I think you’d be doing the right thing if you moved to another position to better yourself or to pursue a different career path which you could only achieve here in Montreal. I think you’d be crazy to move just because you can’t bear to be around the beautiful lady doctor.”

  Carrie smiled up at the waitress bringing their orders. The young woman was flustered, apologetic and extremely pretty. “Don’t worry,” Carrie told her. “We’re cool.”

  Keir waited. No way had his companion finished with him. Even with appetising but worryingly sky-high portions of food in front of them.

  “I think you’d be well-advised to remember what my dad once told me.”

  “Which is?” He took a bite of burger.

  “You can change your job and you can move house. You can buy a whole new wardrobe and get a ritzy haircut and teeth like a Hollywood movie star’s, if you’ve got enough dollars. But you can’t change your memories. You can’t shut down your emotions and convince yourself to stop caring about someone.”

  Keir put down his fork. “What about out of sight, out of mind?”

  She dunked a chip into the pot of salsa verde. “You cannot be serious. I’m trying to tell you, you can’t run away from what’s inside you, Keir Harrison.”

  “OK. If you know so much about this kind of thing, what do you think I should do to win over the beautiful lady doctor?”

  She pointed to her steadily moving jaw and rolled her eyes at him.

  “OK. Your mother told you never to eat with your mouth full,” he said. “Just bear in mind, Andrea refuses to answer my text messages, respond to my telephone messages or the dozen or so emails I’ve agonised over.”

  “What about pushing a letter through her mailbox? You do still have those in England?”

  “Already tried that and it didn’t work.”

  “Ah.” She finished her chips and began on his. He waited patiently.

  “Got it,” she said at last. “Call a meeting. Get your PA to book a room and invite Andrea in the usual way. But when she turns up, you and she will be the only ones there.”

  He groaned. “What are you trying to do to me? The regular team meetings happen as and when. Andrea would be sure to ask her boss about the extra one and he won’t know what she’s talking about. She’ll smell a rat and that rat will be me.”

  Carrie daintily dabbed her mouth with her paper napkin. “Her pride has been hurt. Her heart’s broken. Why would she want to meet you? Don’t answer that!”

  He waited while she thought.

  “You must find a way of breaking down her resistance. Can you not camp on her doorstep?”

  He heaved a sigh and pushed his plate aside.

  “Don’t you have a friend who can put a word in?”

  “What, like in the playground? I don’t think so.”

  She checked her watch. “Keir, I’m afraid I must get back soon. Let me split the bill with you.”

  He put his hand over hers, to stop her reaching for her purse. “No. Lunch is on me, Carrie. I’ve enjoyed your company and you’ve helped clarify my thoughts. You really have.”

  She looked unconvinced. “I’m pleased but I can’t think why you say so. Short of abseiling down the lady’s chimney, I can’t suggest any magic formula.”

  “Whatever happens, you’ve sorted my way forward. Regarding my career, I mean. There is no magic formula.”

  She rose and bent to kiss his cheek. Keir stood up too and gave her a hug.

  “You have my card and I’ve tucked yours in my wallet. Let me know what you decide.” She held up her hand. “Remember, the real decision has to wait until they actually make that job offer. When the crunch comes, that’s when you’ll have to say yes or no. That’s when you’ll know whether to pack up and run or whether to keep fighting for what you really want.”

  He watched her walk away. The waitress arrived with his tab and he dealt with payment, calculating the service tax. He left the restaurant, deep in thought. His problem was deep-rooted. It had taken another trip to Montreal to clarify his thoughts but he knew now what he had to do. Somehow he’d known Carrie Michaels would cut to the chase.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When the Prof walked into her office, Andrea was staring into space.

  Richard cleared his throat. “Keir has got back from his break. We’ve just spoken.”

  “Sorry, Richard, I was thinking about the next clinic session.”

  “Well, Keir will be attending. He asked after you, by the way.”

  She looked anywhere but at him.

  He shifted his feet. “Andrea, tell me to mind my own business if you like, but I have the impression you two are treading warily around each other.”

  “I don’t intend it to cause problems. If that’s the case then I apologise.”

  He threw his hands up in the air. “Damn it, I don’t need you to apologise. I have a rough idea what this might be about and I just wanted to say if there’s anything I can do to help, I hope you won’t hesitate to ask.”

  She nodded. “Thanks, Prof. That’s very kind of you. But these things happen.”

  “Misunderstandings, you mean?”

  “Mistakes is more like it.”

  “We’re all capable of making those, Andrea.”

  “Richard, if you’re trying to cheer me up, it’s not going to work. I just need time to get over him. It. Whatever.”

  “Is that what you really want? To walk away from him? I don’t know too much about it but I care about you enough to risk you snapping back at me.” He rubbed his chin. “Are you quite sure you’re not making a big mistake?”

  She stared at him. His tone was gentle and his hooded grey eyes beneath a pair of giant shrimp eyebrows shone with compassion.

  She slumped, head in hands. “It doesn’t seem I have any choice.”

  “What rubbish. The man thinks the world of you. Any imbecile can see that.”

  “Is that so? Well, the man has a funny way of showing it.”

  Richard turned to leave, muttering something that sounded like “we’ll see about that, won’t we?”

  She called after him. “It’s driving me crazy, Richard. How the heck did I get in so deep?”

  He stopped but didn’t turn to face her. “It’s called love, Andrea. Ring him. Better still, go and see him. Kick the fellow’s butt if that’s what it takes! So long as you put you, him and all of us out of our misery.”

  ***

  When Keir reached for his mobile again, this time, he didn’t call up Dr Palmer’s number.

  “Keir?” His PA sounded anxious. “Is everything all right?”

  “Lyn, I’m sorry to disturb your evening but I’m anxious to get in touch with Sister McIntosh. You wouldn’t happen to have her home number on that laptop of yours, would you?”

  “As it happens I do. Hang on, Keir. I was just looking up volcanoes for my daughter’s school project.”

  Keir closed his eyes. If only this worked out right for him. Susie McIntosh would think he’d lost his senses, ringing her at home to talk about his love life. Or would she? She was unflappable, unshockable and indomitable. And like his PA, she was also more discreet than a plain brown paper bag.

  “Here it is,” said Lyn. “Got a pen?”

  “Just a minute.” Keir looked round. Why did he seem incapable of keeping pen and notepad on the kitchen table? “Lyn, call it out slowly, would you please? I’ll put her straight into my phone.”

  ***

  Susie McIntosh and Keir sat across from each other on her garden patio. It wasn’t an evening for bare arms and she’d gone inside, to re-emerge wrapped in a three sizes too big fleece.

  “Your husband must have wondered what the devil was going on, Susie,” said Keir. “I’m grateful to you for letting me call round.”

  “I’m only sorry I can’t entertain yo
u properly. But Friday is Rob’s cards night and it’s our turn to play host. We’d have got no privacy in the kitchen with that lot popping in and out for beer and wondering when the sausage rolls might be ready.’

  “It’s a lovely house you have here.”

  “We downsized. We trip over the dog sometimes but it suits us. So, what can I do for you? I guess this isn’t purely a social call.”

  “It’s a rather delicate situation. I’d better start right at the beginning.”

  “That’s probably a good idea.’ She settled back in her seat.

  “It began when I was trying to get out of a lift.”

  “Tell me more. It sounds intriguing.”

  Minutes later, Susie shook her head in disbelief. “You walked right into the honey trap, didn’t you? I can’t believe you were so naïve. Surely you must have read the signals?”

  Keir winced. He’d told Susie to speak her mind, not gloss over anything for fear of retribution. He didn’t unburden his soul lightly and he trusted the older woman’s good sense. “I’m not a man of the world, Susie,” he said. “Not where females are concerned anyway.”

  Her face softened. “No, I realise that. It’s one of the reasons people like you. And I understand how, when you offered to drive Moira home, you were still smarting as a result of Dr Palmer’s original decision. Your defences were down.”

  “It’s such a mess. I feel like an actor in some kind of bad drama but without having learnt the right lines to say.”

  “Yes, but remember you’re in possession of the full facts. Dr Palmer isn’t. After a command performance like Moira’s, how must Andrea be feeling? It’s pretty much agreed Sister Haynes is a minx but she’s nothing if not plausible. You didn’t deny anything, did you? Not at that point. Think about it, Keir.”

  He groaned and propped his chin between his hands, gazing gloomily at Susie. “You’re right. I walked away because I didn’t want to cause a scene. Not in front of staff and patients. It was embarrassing enough as it was. I let Andrea down. So, what should I do?”

  “Well! That’s the million-dollar question. Putting myself in her shoes, I’d probably refuse to see you outside of work, just as she’s doing. On the basis of damage limitation if you know what I mean.”

  “I’m bad news?” His shoulders drooped.

  “Not necessarily, but Andrea has had a very tough time. Bereavement affects people in such different ways. It’s highly likely her attitude is all about self-protection. Who can blame her?”

  He nodded.

  “Tell me Keir. Just how much do you want Andrea? Do you think she still wants you? That has to be established. Otherwise it’s pointless agonising about it, don’t you think?”

  “I know I want her. I hope she wants me.”

  “It sounds as though you and Andrea are soul mates,” said Susie. “She obviously decided she wanted you in her life but justifiably remained on the defensive. Don’t underrate her courage though. She decided to trust you not to play fast and loose with her feelings. You and I know both you didn’t betray that trust but after Moira’s scheming, you can’t blame Dr Palmer for deciding she’s made a very bad mistake.” Susie hesitated. “Although -”

  “Although what?”

  “From the way you described Moira’s actions, including the conjuring trick with the business card, it does sound like smoke and mirrors – like an OTT soap opera plot as you say.”

  “Nothing against soap operas,” he said. “But yes, in my position, I collect dozens of business cards wherever I go. Some of them are handed over by women who have important jobs in medicine or pharmaceuticals. Rhonda is professionally my equal and she’d expressed interest in the Hartnett Trial. Honestly, Susie, Andrea would find a whole raft of cards in the top drawer of my desk.”

  “I’m sure you’re right. But this is all about the way Moira has ratcheted up the situation. You drive her home because her car’s broken down. You go in, with the intention of staying for just one drink?” She raised her eyebrows at him.

  “Yes, of course! Christ, Susie, you surely don’t think for one moment I had designs on the woman then got cold feet and upset her by backing off?”

  “You’re too much of a gentleman to fabricate this story, Keir. Also, when you talk about Dr Palmer, your whole demeanour changes, your face softens and it’s obvious how you feel about her.”

  “Thank you,” he said. “You could put it that way. She means everything to me.”

  “I imagine Moira must have had her devious little plan in mind, just in case you behaved in a more gentlemanly way than she hoped.” Her eyes twinkled. “You were dead in the water. But so is she, because I also have a cunning plan.”

  ***

  Andrea was reading the notes from the previous day’s session at the hospital. Her mother had interacted well, appeared calm and comfortable in her surroundings and, as Andrea already knew, Lizzie Dean had no concerns she wished to highlight. It was a terrific result and very heartening. But, for all sorts of reasons, Andrea hadn’t slept well the night before, purely because that surreal pantomime at the clinic kept invading her thoughts. Intimate images of Keir and Moira drifted into her mind’s eye as if the image itself was trying to taunt her, the two of them tangled within sheets as she and he had been before.

  She mustn’t torture herself like this. Since the regular arrival of message after message from Keir, she’d received that notification of his absence on leave and although she knew he was back again, he hadn’t resumed his attempts to reach her. She thought of the note he’d pushed through the door, probably when she and Josh were at Kirsty’s house that Saturday. She’d immediately shredded that letter on returning home. Self-preservation was the name of that particular game. But the memory of the fleeting happiness she’d known with Keir continued to tease her.

  Now Richard was nagging her to rethink her attitude. If only she knew whether that was the right thing to do.

  When her office phone rang, she picked it up absent-mindedly, eyes still on her computer screen.

  “Dr Palmer? It’s Susie McIntosh here.”

  “Hey, Susie, why so formal? What can I do for you?”

  “I’m not at the hospital today. I wonder whether you have half an hour free some time because I really need to talk to you.”

  Andrea fidgeted with her hair. “Can’t it wait until the next clinic session?”

  “No, Andrea, it really can’t. Please trust me. I feel bad enough as it is, ringing you about a non-medical matter.”

  “I see. Well, you won’t want to trudge all the way over here on your precious day off. What about Lydney Gardens at half-past twelve?”

  “The park will suit me well. I need to go into town. See you by the lake then.”

  Andrea was finding difficulty in concentrating on her work as it was. It had been difficult resisting the messages while Keir tried to contact her. Now, the lack of them depressed her. Was he really prepared to give up on her so easily? She sucked in her breath as she realised not only had she not checked her mobile that morning but it was still switched off from last night.

  She reached for her bag and pulled out the phone. There was one text message from Kirsty but nothing from Keir. Well, that was it then. She shook her head ruefully, recalling the stricken expression on his face when Moira launched her bombshell. At that moment, she’d almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

  Andrea had her own take on things. There’d been no mistaking his sincerity when he came to her house and expressed his true feelings. But she was miffed. Moira had been well out of order and it was down to Keir to dig himself out of the deep hole he’d excavated. It was all very well for Richard to dole out advice. She didn’t need to take it. Meanwhile, it would be interesting to discover what had rattled nice Sister McIntosh’s cage. For the life of her, she couldn’t imagine what all the mystery was about.

  ***

  Andrea cursed as she grabbed her umbrella from the back seat of the car. Josh had been using it as a telescope to spy
out enemy forces and when she tried to open it, the brolly didn’t function quite as she would have hoped. But as she hurried down the path towards the lake, the raindrops petered out and a watery sun emerged.

  Susie McIntosh was gazing at the waterfowl. “The benches are all wet,’ she said, noticing Andrea. “Shall we stroll around the lake?”

  “Why not?” Andrea looked up at the sky. “Look at that perfect rainbow.”

  “It’s gorgeous,” said Susie, barely giving it a glance “I hope it’s in good order to talk woman to woman?”

  “Absolutely,’ said Andrea. “I’ve been wondering - I hope this isn’t something to do with my mother.”

  Susie stopped walking. “Andrea, of course it’s not. What an idiot I am - I’m so sorry for not making it clear this wasn’t about Rosemary. For what it’s worth, I think she’s doing very well indeed. But Dr Harrison would be the one to talk to you if something was upsetting her.”

  “Yes. Well, so far it’s very encouraging. Forgive me for jumping at you. You did say it was a non-medical matter. I suppose I’m a bit on edge what with one thing and another. So, come on, what’s bugging you?”

  They watched a group of Grey Back geese swoop and settle on the lake, greedily eyeing up passers-by in hopes of food.

  “I feel so embarrassed about this but I also feel very strongly so I’m going to charge straight on. Please hear me out. Keir Harrison has, I believe, been set up. The person in question has history, shall we say, and I want to try and put the record straight.”

  “We’re talking about Nurse Haynes,” said Andrea.

  “We are indeed. She’s a brilliant nurse but not someone to cross.”

  “Hey,” said Andrea. “To my knowledge, I’ve done nothing to upset her.”

  “I’m sure you haven’t but Dr Harrison has, so by default you’re part of this. She’s had her eye on Keir for a while now, with no progress, I might add. Your accompanying him on the Montreal trip seems to have aggravated her jealousy. I gather she performed her little girl lost act on him recently, with the object of begging a lift home. Oh, I know she could outdo any of the TV soap divas but Dr Harrison seems to have walked into her lair without having his radar switched on. Typical man. And this is a specially nice one.”