Crimson Sin (Rebel Heart Book 1)

by Trina M. Lee

  “Why do I get the feeling that this is somehow forbidden? Tell me I’m just being paranoid.” Holding me close, Rowen pressed his face into my hair and sighed.

  “You’re just being paranoid,” I said, hoping I sounded convincing. “There’s no rule that we can’t be together. Although it may tick off a few people.”

  “Like Koda.” And Arrow, I added silently. There were others, like Cinder, who might not think it was a good idea, but this was our choice. “Fuck Koda.” My temper flared as I recalled the demon’s hissed threat. I wasn’t an animal to be caged and owned.

  Rowen tipped my chin up so he could gaze into my eyes. “You are the best thing to come into my life right now. I’m glad that I’m not going through this alone.”

  The glow coming from him could not be seen, but I felt it. It came from within, steady and pure. Rowen indeed belonged to the light. I hoped for his sake that the dark would not claim him as it had Arrow. They didn’t deserve such a horrific victory.

  I struggled to find the right words to say back, something as lovely and pure. When words failed me, I smiled, hoping he would see the things I couldn’t say.

  He kissed me again with a slow-burning passion that steadily grew in intensity. Throwing my arms around his neck, I held tight to him as the heat between us built into a blaze.

  The caress of his fingers on my lower back was a warm, welcome touch as he slid a hand beneath my shirt. A small burst of adrenaline accompanied the sensation as his fingers found my spine. Rowen traced small circles on my bare skin. It tickled, and I shivered as nerve endings up and down my back ignited.

  Our bodies communicated without the need of words. Pressing close against him, I felt his readiness and had to make the choice to pull away or to go on. I’d told myself I would wait, that jumping into bed with some random guy was not what I wanted. But Rowen was far from random, and every touch made me long for more.

  His body was firm against me. The hard lines of him beneath my fingers gave me only a hint at what lay beneath his clothing. I wanted to see him, to feel him. All of him.

  I steered him toward my bedroom, unwilling or unable to stop touching him. Our eyes met as we crossed the threshold. A dark brow lifted in a silent request. I answered with another kiss, one that surely conveyed my desire.

  The bed was soft beneath me when we sank down upon it, but I doubted I would have noticed if it had been made of concrete. A shaft of light streamed in from the living room, allowing us to see one another without ruining the mood.

  We spoke in low murmurs and gentle sighs. Rowen was a gentleman, taking his time, careful not to rush. His hand on my stomach released a flutter of butterflies. Excitement left me dizzy with want. The human side of us dominated with its lusty energy and drug-like desire. Yet the supernatural side of us was ever present too, guiding us through emotion and spirit, uniting body and soul in an act so often ruined by the worship of body alone.

  Clothes came off, exposing tattooed skin. Protection was subtly slipped from the bedside table drawer. I traced a line along the bass cleft on his shoulder, down to the grinning skull on his forearm. He leaned down to kiss the feathers that curved onto my hip, and I felt myself cross over into total certainty. Rowen hadn’t been in my life for long, but I knew that something deeper resided in him, something that spoke to me, and I wanted to explore all of it.

  We moved slowly, ignoring the sound of our phones when they went off randomly. Every touch was a new sensation. Each taste of each other brought us to new levels of discovery. The saltiness of his skin and the musky scent of him would be locked away in my memory forever.

  A strange kind of magic encompassed us. It was a spiritual movement that made us soar to heights I’d never imagined. When Rowen was naked between my legs, he paused to gaze into my eyes as if searching me to see if I felt it too. My soul seemed to swell with the overwhelming sensation. I felt like I might explode in a burst of power that came from a place more raw and real than I’d fully understood to this point.

  A tingle in my hands was my only warning before the flames engulfed us. The fire consumed us, surrounding us in a protective glow. Rowen took me with a groan, filling my body with his. Untouched by the flames, he held me close, and we ceased to be two separate beings.

  Every sensation was heightened. The part of us that had never been human took an experience that had once been pleasurable and made it otherworldly. It was like nothing I’d ever known with human lovers. Making love to Rowen was like connecting with the source of the universe itself. A word like pleasure couldn’t possibly describe what I felt as we moved together, tapped into something bigger than the earth and its inhabitants.

  Our bodies and souls fused together. As we reached for heights beyond our grasp, I could feel just how united we were. I became aware of my spirit and my body, aware of all they were and all they could be. In that dizzying moment, I realized that we were capable of so much more than we dared dream.

  Slipping my fingers between Rowen’s, I squeezed his hand and rolled us over so that I was looking down at him. He peered up at me with amber eyes that seemed to glow in the dim light. He was easily one of the most beautiful things I’d ever laid eyes on.

  I dragged my free hand down his chest, memorizing every angle of him. The blue of his hair looked nearly black in the dark. The sounds he made as I moved atop him brought me to a state of bliss that I wished would never end.

  It felt like hours had passed by the time we lay exhausted in each other’s arms, though that was an illusion. For a long time we didn’t speak. We didn’t need to.

  Finally Rowen said with a lazy lull, “Was it just me or was that fucking amazing? Like, out of this world amazing.”

  “That, so they say, is one of the perks of being with a nephilim. I guess what they say is true.” I dragged a hand through his mohawk and smiled to myself. The fire had long gone out, leaving just the two of us in the darkened room.

  “Think we should check our phones?” he asked, his breath warm against my shoulder. “I don’t want to ruin this moment, but I’m a little curious about the results.”

  “You guys made it through,” I said. “I’m sure of it. After that brawl on stage, you probably got one hundred percent of the votes.”

  Rowen laughed, a low, masculine sound that shook the bed slightly. “In that case, let’s not look. I don’t think I want to leave this bed or think about the shit with Arrow right now.”

  The arm he’d wrapped around my waist tightened, and he kissed my shoulder. I was perfectly ok with ignoring our friends. The results would be the same in the morning.

  We spoke in hushed whispers, sharing what we’d seen and felt while enrapt in one another. I was fascinated that we’d both experienced something spiritual, completely beyond the physical. The lovers I’d had in the past had done little more than scratch a physical itch. With Rowen I’d been transported to a place where our souls dwelled or perhaps where they’d been born.

  “I think I’m falling hard for you,” he paused before adding, “Ember.”

  I closed my eyes, absorbing those lovely yet terrifying words. Of course it was what my heart wanted to hear, but my head was afraid. Life was much more complicated for our kind. Love meant danger. Always.

  Afraid to say too much lest I tempt fate, I said “I didn’t know what I’d been waiting for until I met you. It’s not safe for our kind to love, Rowen. We must be careful.”

  I felt him nod. No further words passed between us. We lay there together as the night began to fade. Eventually his breathing changed, deep and even, indicating slumber.

  Leaving him was the last thing I wanted to do, but my throat was dry. Wrapping myself in the fuzzy, black robe hanging in my closet, I padded out to the kitchen for a glass of water.

  My gaze darted to my purse, which I’d left on the kitchen table. Ah, what the hell? I reached in to grab my phone when I spied the pack of cigarettes nestled beside it. Because quitting was fucking hard, I took my phone and a smoke and
went out onto the balcony. I lit the cigarette and unlocked my phone, finding a text from Jett. It was short, to the point, indicative of her pending anger at being ditched: You and lover boy face off next week.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” I murmured to myself. So it was Molly’s Chamber and Crimson Sin after all. I waited to feel something like excitement, and I did, sort of. But mostly I just felt ready to get this battle over with.

  The awareness that someone was watching me settled in. Used to this kind of thing, I was careful not to move suddenly or indicate in any way that I’d felt the stare upon me. Only when I was sure that my watcher was not a demon did I look up.

  I scanned the dark below. Sunrise was still a couple hours away. There on the sidewalk outside my building, staring up at me with a cigarette between his lips, long hair hiding most of his face, was Arrow.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” My fist was clenched tight, ready to connect with Arrow’s smug face again.

  I probably should’ve ignored him, let him stand on the street like the pathetic loser he was, but seeing him there made me so damn mad. In seconds, I left the balcony, zipped back through the apartment where I grabbed my keys, and trotted down the stairs.

  Arrow held up both hands. A smirk pulled at his lips though he seemed to be fighting it. “Simmer down, angel girl. I just wanted to see Rowen.”

  “So you’re creeping down here in the dark, watching my windows?” I cast a glance up at the second floor where my apartment was. The light in the kitchen gave a street gawker a good view. I’d have to make a point of closing my curtains more often.

  “I saw movement in your bedroom window. Thought maybe I should wait until the lovefest was over.” A plume of smoke passed through his lips as he spoke. He was unapologetic, as arrogant as ever. “So Rowen popped your nephilim cherry. How was it?”

  He was trying to encourage my temper. I was sure of it. It appeared that Arrow had come here looking for a fight of some kind.

  “It was better than anything you’ll ever have. So I won’t torture you with the details.” Playing his game didn’t make me proud of myself, but it did feel good to rub it in. “Jealous?”

  Arrow took another deep drag off the cigarette, letting it out slowly as he regarded me in silence. Then he gave a clipped nod and let his gaze travel over my robe-clad body. “You know it.”

  “Dammit, Arrow! What the hell is wrong with you? Creeping around out here in the dark. Picking fights with Rowen. This is not ok. You owe him.” I pointed a finger at him, and it burst into flames.

  He sneered in the general direction of my finger, unimpressed. “I don’t owe him jack shit. But I did come here to talk to him so cut me a fucking break, Spike.”

  “He trusted you, and you sold him out to Dash. Do you really think that’s what your father would have wanted for you both?” Playing the father card was low. I knew it. Having it played against me always resulted in tumultuous and dangerous emotion.

  Arrow’s eyes flashed with fury, and immediately the darkness seemed to gather closer. “My father is locked up in a holding cell along with your father, waiting for judgment. I really doubt he gives a shit about any of this.”

  Despite his attempt to shrug it off with angry words, I knew my words had struck a chord.

  The shadows moving around us crept closer, and the flame in my hand went out. I was discovering little by little what Arrow was made of. He was a manipulator of darkness and shadows.

  I couldn’t appeal to Arrow’s compassion or humanity. He simply didn’t seem to have any. I found this hard to accept. Sure he was dark, but he was human too. It had to be in there somewhere.

  “Fine,” I said between clenched teeth. “There’s obviously nothing I can say to convince you to do the right thing. So stop wasting my time and get the hell out of my neighborhood.”

  I shivered in my robe though I wasn’t sure of the cause: the chilly autumn night or the dark shadows that crept around us. He could stand out there all night being weird for all I cared. I was done. I turned to storm back inside.

  Arrow’s hand on my arm stopped me. I shook him off, rubbing the spot he’d touched as if that could wipe away the unwelcome sensation.

  He frowned. “You’re assuming that you know what the right thing to do is.” He dropped his cigarette and ground it out under the heel of his combat boot. “But what really makes you so sure you’re right about everything? Even if what you say is true, and Rowen and I are brothers, what good does telling him do?”

  So Arrow was human after all. He’d been thinking about it, which was more than I’d expected from him. Maybe he even felt bad about leading Dash to Rowen, but it was too late for that. He still had responsibilities to the dark.

  “You tell me,” I said, making it a challenge. “If you love him, you should want to protect him.”

  “I do!” he shouted suddenly. The sky darkened overhead, and the streetlights flickered. “Trust me, I do. Do you think I really want him to end up like me? But my hands are tied. There is nothing I can do.”

  Arrow’s desperation was palpable. I almost felt bad for him. No, I tried. I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad for someone who’d exhibited such selfish behavior with total disregard for others.

  “There might be. You can keep Dash away from Rowen until he can make his choice. He’s eager to do it.” Because I was too damn nice, I gave Arrow another chance to prove he wasn’t a complete asshole.

  “He is?” Arrow mulled this over. “You know which side he’s going to choose.”

  It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer. I merely held his hazel gaze, letting him draw his own conclusions. We stared at one another until my teeth began to chatter. Then Arrow nodded and began to back away without a word. He knew. He’d seen the truth in my eyes.

  I retreated back into the building, cursing as the warm air blanketed me. After ensuring the lobby door locked securely behind me, I darted up the stairs and slipped back into the safety of my apartment.

  A glance out the window revealed Arrow’s slowly retreating form as he crossed the street to his BMW. Feeling my stare, he looked up. Across the distance, I couldn’t read his expression, but I didn’t have to. I knew the Rowen situation was eating Arrow up because he hadn’t said a word to me about the battle results. That just wasn’t like the Arrow I knew. I still didn’t trust him. Not for a moment.

  I found it hard to settle down and think about sleep when I was such a mess of emotions, equal parts outrage and disappointment. The relationship between two brothers shouldn’t have involved me, but it did. Cinder claimed there was a reason for that, and I trusted Cinder. I had to.

  I slipped back into bed beside Rowen. Well into the wee hours of the morning, sleep began to pull me under, and I invited it. The motion of the bed roused him slightly, and he rolled over and reached out a hand for me.

  I cuddled in close against him, enjoying the way it felt to have him in my bed. The dark could intimidate and taunt, threaten and stalk, but it couldn’t force us to live like slaves. We were free to love, to live, and to choose. And we would.

  * * * *

  The alarm on Rowen’s phone woke us several hours later. The vibrating buzz combined with a loud, annoying chime brought me out of sleep with a start.

  “Oh, shit,” Rowen muttered, groping about for his phone before realizing it was still in the kitchen. The bed shifted as he got up, and I groaned at his sudden absence. He came right back, phone in hand. Rubbing a hand through his hair, he blinked sleepily at me. “Sorry ’bout that. My damn alarm. I have to be at work in an hour. But hey, I got a text from Sam. We made it through. Crimson Sin and Molly’s Chamber.”

  “I know,” I said, smiling at the grin that lit up his face. “I was up earlier. Jett told me.”

  Rowen slid close, bringing back the warmth of his naked body. “Are you psyched? You should be. You guys will win.”

  “I am. Somewhat. It’s a little nerve racking though, going u
p against you. You know, all things considered.” I motioned to the bed. On one hand, it was just a contest, but on the other it was a serious opportunity. Bedding my opponent a week before the final showdown could make things a tad awkward come show time.

  “It’s just a radio station contest. It won’t change anything between us. As much as I want to win, I don’t think it would be good for Arrow. He’s got enough groupies and drugs clouding his brain without the illusion of actual fame.” Rowen hugged me close and made a pained sound. “I wish I didn’t have to get to work. I doubt I’ll even have time to stop at home to change first.”

  “Sorry?” I offered, unsure if I really was. I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet.

  “Never. I’m not. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He kissed me with a tenderness I’d come to believe only existed in romance novels.

  I sighed against his lips. “You have got to stop being so damn great. It’s just setting me up for disappointment when you inevitably do something to remind me that you’re still a guy.”

  His laughter set loose another batch of butterflies. He slid a hand into my hair and made me meet his gaze. “We’re not all douchebags. Some of us want more than a quick lay. Some of us actually want to love and be loved.”

  Swoon. I’d given Rowen my body because I’d known deep down that he wasn’t like the men of my past. But his words and the genuine way he spoke them made me give him my heart. I knew in that moment that I was already a little in love with him.

  “You keep talking like that, and I’ll never let you leave.” I traced a finger over the single, black feather tattooed on his collarbone, curving up the side of his neck. It seemed strangely symbolic, that one lone feather.

  “Promise?”

  After much stalling and half a dozen lingering embraces, Rowen finally got dressed and left. I spent the afternoon watching Seth roam around the apartment while working on some website maintenance for a client.