Questioning Love: A Lesbian Romance

by Amy Storm

  “Well you’re important here. You help keep this place running. It’s an important task. I don’t know how you do it all.”

  “Well it keeps me busy. I enjoy the office work, answering calls, and bookkeeping. The best part is making new friends like you.”

  “That’s sweet of you to say.” Olivia put her hand on Mary’s arm. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Kathryn? Had she been ill? It sounds like it was unexpected. Maybe you’ll feel better after talking about it.”

  “Last week Kathryn fell while adjusting the TV volume in the entertainment room of her retirement complex. She didn’t use her cane and insisted she was fine, but when she was on her way back she lost her balance and fell. Later, she had a stroke and it was bad. I asked the manager at the complex if she would be able to return, but they told me her condition was getting worse.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Olivia rubbed Mary’s shoulder gently.

  “Joan, a mutual friend of ours, picked me up to visit Kathryn at the local hospital. She couldn’t eat or swallow. She couldn’t move her right arm. She was bad off. One look at her, and we started crying. The stroke had taken our friend away. She had been like a sister to us for years.”

  “Oh, how awful. I’m glad you and Joan have each other to lean on through this.”

  “Yes, that’s true. Thank goodness.”

  “Was she aware of what was happening to her when you visited her in the hospital?”

  “Kathryn was still able to understand what was happening, and I think she decided it was her time. She was ready to see her husband again. She didn’t want to live like this. They moved her to hospice the day after we visited her.”

  Olivia started tearing up listening to Mary’s story. She grabbed a tissue out of her pocket to wipe her tears. It reminded her of her parents and how much she missed them. She was overcome with emotion, but she wasn’t ready to tell Mary about her parents yet. She wanted to give Mary her support right now. Just being in the church started changing Olivia’s perspective about her life.

  Her hard exterior shell was starting to soften as she talked with Mary. “I enjoy talking to you. I don’t have any close friends. I’m always involved in my work.”

  “Well, Olivia, I appreciate you listening to me. It was nice to have a shoulder to cry on.”

  “You’re welcome. Did any of Kathryn’s family come out to visit with her?”

  “Two cousins from out west came to Boston to be with her at the end of her journey. I went back with Joan to visit Kathryn yesterday one more time before she died. She looked so peaceful and relaxed lying there waiting for her time to come. She was asleep and already slipping away when Joan and I said our goodbyes. We each kissed her a final time on her forehead. On the way out as we walked down the hall, we came across a gorgeous fountain filled with pennies thrown by people as they made a wish.”

  “That’s so nice that they have a fountain. I’m sure it was beautiful.”

  “It was. Joan and I both made a wish and dropped the coins in. We heard two splashes as the coins headed for the bottom of the fountain. Our own reflections stared back at us in the beautiful, sparkling water. It made us reflect on our lives and wondered how long before our journeys would come to an end like Kathryn’s.”

  Olivia shook her head. “Please don’t talk like that.”

  “At times like this, it makes you think. Olivia, you need to appreciate and love your life to the fullest every day because no one ever knows when our final day will come.”

  Olivia felt guilty. The only reason she was in church was because the Boswells asked her to investigate. She felt terrible and deceitful. She hoped one day she would be able to tell Mary the truth. Mary felt like a mother to her, and they had gotten close since she began coming to church.

  “This morning, I received a call from Joan that Kathryn had passed. Kathryn’s cousins invited Joan and me to join them on a boat to go out and spread her ashes, as that is what Kathryn did years ago with her husband. I declined because I didn’t want to intrude on her family. I also get nauseous with all the waves.”

  “I understand. I would feel the same way. At least you had a chance to visit with Kathryn before she passed.”

  “Yes, I’m grateful for that. Thank you for listening to me and letting me share a big part of my life with you.” Mary stood.

  Olivia stood and gave Mary a hug. Olivia was a private person. She never discussed her own family with anyone, but maybe one day she would share her past with Mary.

  Mary headed back to the office and took a seat in her chair.

  Olivia passed by the open window. “Let me know if you need anything. I guess I need to start cleaning.”

  Mary chuckled. “Get to it, girlfriend.”

  ***

  Olivia made her way to the storage closet to get her supplies and begin exploring. She met Bruno in the hallway and greeted him. “Hi, Bruno. How are you today?”

  He gave her a half-smile and grunted something as he walked away. She entered the heart of the church and began sweeping the hardwood floors, as she glanced around for any evidence.

  After an hour, she took a break and saw there were a few slices of cheese, fruit slices, and pastries on a table. A sign behind the platter read, Thank you for all you do for our community.

  Reverend Higgins came up behind her and startled her. “Hello, Ms. Wilson. How are you today?”

  “I’m fine. Thank you for asking. Please, call me Olivia.”

  “You’ve been making the church look so much better. It hasn’t been this clean in…oh, forever.”

  “I’m happy to help.”

  Reverend Higgins pointed at the goodies on the table. “Please, help yourself to our breakfast treats. Local members of the church drop off breakfast treats for us every now and then as a way to give back to the church.”

  “That’s so thoughtful of them. Thank you.”

  “Thank you again, Olivia, for all your volunteer work around here. It’s much appreciated. Have a good day.”

  Olivia smiled as he walked away. She picked up a cheese danish and nibbled on it. She didn’t have time for breakfast this morning. After finishing the danish and a delicious clementine, she walked towards the confessional booth. As she walked by with her cleaning supplies in her hands, it was silent. She dusted around the pews making herself busy.

  About thirty minutes went by and a woman in a long black coat and a red scarf covering most of her face scurried into the confessional. It was obvious the woman didn’t want anyone to see her. Olivia waited a few minutes and grabbed a mop pretending to clean the other side of the confessional. She knew it was wrong to listen, but what if she missed something that could help Zoe? What if someone else confronted Reverend Higgins during confession?

  Olivia heard a woman talking in a soft voice. “I have been embezzling money from work. I work as a secretary for a well-known bank. I haven’t been able to pay my bills. I’m dying from cancer. I only have a few months left from what the doctors tell me. It’s a hopeless situation. I can only work part time right now because of my illness. I lost my health insurance because I can’t work enough hours to maintain my full time status.”

  Olivia walked away from the confessional. The woman didn’t have any information that would help Zoe. She felt bad for her. The lady was suffering enough with her illness, and pretty soon she wouldn't be around to face the consequences of embezzling from her employer. She was there to clear her conscience about the sins she committed.

  The woman came out sniffling with tears. Olivia hoped she didn’t have any children that would be left behind without a mother.

  She continued to polish the pews. The day was uneventful and soon it was time for her to go. She found Paul and Bruno whispering in the hall and laughing about something. Olivia couldn’t help but wonder if either of them had molested Zoe. They didn’t pay any attention to Olivia when she walked by. She was ready to go out and get a drink to forget about her long, emotional day.

&n
bsp; She passed the front desk to tell Mary goodbye, but Mary wasn’t there. Olivia hoped Mary was feeling okay. She headed out the door and buttoned up her thick winter coat. It was windy and chilly making her shiver down to her bones.

  Chapter Six

  Olivia slept well last night. She took a quick shower and headed to the kitchen where she grabbed a blueberry muffin. She poured herself a glass of cool milk and reached her arm towards the back of the refrigerator to grab the bottle of chocolate syrup. She was craving something sweet and indulgent. She figured she could use the calcium too after all the junk she had been eating.

  It was close to ten when she threw her purse in the front seat of her car. She realized she had forgotten to collect her mail yesterday, as she had come home so late. There was a check from Mr. and Mrs. Boswell as they had promised. She could drop it off on her way to the church.

  She entered the church and Mary waved her over to the office.

  “Good morning, Olivia. Come on over. I made some treats.” She held up a plate with fudge and chocolate chip cookies underneath saran wrap.

  “Thank you.” Olivia took a piece of fudge and took a bite. “Mmm, this is so rich and delicious.” The aroma smelled like a mix between dark chocolate and coffee with a hint of caramel.

  “Take as many as you want. Would you like a cookie too?”

  Olivia felt guilty eating the extra calories, but she didn’t want to be rude either. She took a cookie with cream cheese frosting on top. The cookie was soft and warm and the frosting was so creamy. “That’s it, I’m moving in with you.”

  Mary laughed and covered the plate again before placing it on her desk.

  Olivia had grown fond of Mary. She looked up to her like a mother figure. Olivia had missed out on having a mother to guide her through adulthood, and it was nice to have a sense of family again. “Thank you. If you keep feeding me like this, I’ll have to jog to work.”

  Mary stood up and leaned through the window. “Do you have time to chat this morning?”

  “Sure. After all, I’m a volunteer, so I’m not on a time schedule.”

  Mary came around the corner and met Olivia in the hallway.

  Olivia sat on the bench and waited for Mary to join her. “How are you? Have you been keeping busy?”

  Mary motioned her hand towards her office. “I’ve been pretty busy with paperwork, especially after that scandal in the news.” She shook her head. “I just joined a book club with Joan and a few other ladies from the sewing and craft group. Joan is the founder of the group.”

  “That sounds nice, What kind of books will you be reading?”

  Mary blushed and put her hand to her chest. “Oh, a little bit of everything, but I’m most excited about the romance books on the list. I need to get back in the dating world.” She placed her hand on Olivia’s arm. “Are you seeing anyone?”

  Olivia smiled. If only you knew what I’ve been up to lately. “No, ma’am, I’m single. I’ve casually been seeing a few people, but nothing concrete. I guess I just haven’t found the right person yet.”

  “You’re so beautiful. I’m surprised you aren’t married yet. Whoever you end up with will be very lucky.”

  “Thank you. You’re so sweet.” She looked down at Mary’s hand and noticed she wasn’t wearing a wedding band. “Were you ever married?”

  “I was for twenty years. My husband was a police officer. He was stabbed while responding to a fight between two drunk people on Jefferson Street in front of what used to be Peggy’s Diner. He died on the way to the hospital.”

  “Oh, my goodness. I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Mary.”

  “I loved Henry dearly. He was so good to me, a real sweetheart. I haven’t dated since.”

  “Well, you’re so pretty and full of life. You should join one of those match-making services.”

  Mary chuckled. “Me? At sixty-nine years old? You’re too kind. I’m not sure anyone would want this old body and mind.”

  “Sixty-nine? I would have never guessed that. You could score a man my age. Younger men find mature women very sexy. You need to get more confidence. You’re beautiful.”

  “Now, I know you’ve lost it.” She patted Olivia’s hand. “You know what? I would love to have you over for supper some time.”

  “I would love to come over and spend time with you.”

  “Would you like to come over for dinner Saturday night?”

  “Sure, what’s the address?”

  “Fourteen Carson Avenue. From here, you just go three blocks to the left and then two blocks to the right. I’m the second apartment on the right-hand side. There’s parking right in front of the building.”

  “Well, I guess it’s a date.” They both giggled. “What should I bring?”

  “Do you like lasagna?”

  “I sure do. How about I pick up some fresh Italian bread from the bakery to have with our meal?”

  Mary stood up from the bench. “Oh, that would be nice. Any bread will do. I’m not picky. Come by around six o’clock on Saturday.”

  “Done deal.” Olivia stood and grabbed her purse. “I better go make myself busy. Who knew the church has so many nooks and crannies?” She watched Mary walk back into the office with a little extra spring in her step.

  Olivia pushed the red cart filled with cleaning supplies through the church hallway. Compared to the cool and windy weather outside, the church felt warm and inviting. The weather forecast mentioned that ugly four-letter S-word this morning, snow.

  Charlie rounded the corner in a hurry, bumping into Olivia’s cart. “Whoops, sorry. Oh, hello, Olivia. Did you hear about Phil’s new side job?”

  Olivia raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “No, I haven’t heard anything. What is Phil’s new gig?” Olivia got along with Charlie the most out of the three associates.

  “He is going to be our Santa this year.”

  Olivia was a little surprised since Phil didn’t come across as friendly, but he did seem to relate to the kids better than the adults. “Santa? I’m sure the kids will enjoy that.”

  “They sure will. Phil is a big teddybear, but don’t tell him I said that.” He winked at Olivia. “I love kids, but I don’t have the patience he does. I can only take so many kicks, screams, antsy parents, and beard pulling.”

  Olivia chuckled. “Phil is great with the kids. I could see him making a wonderful Santa Claus. I understand how you feel about having patience. I love kids too, but that doesn’t mean I would enjoy several climbing all over me crying and screaming. I don’t understand why some parents force them to sit in Santa’s lap when they are so terrified of strangers.”

  “I know it. I was on my way to see if Mary has any more of that delicious fudge left. Did you try any?”

  “Yes. Her cookies are delicious too.”

  “They are. She’s a great baker. She is so good to the church and is always looking out for the rest of us. Well, I’ll see you later. Don’t work too hard.” Charlie turned and hustled towards the office.

  She made her way to the confessional area and saw Reverend Higgins down the hallway.

  He smiled and clutched his bible to his chest. “Good morning, Olivia.”

  “Hello, Father Higgins. It sure is a cold one though. At least it feels warm in here.”

  “Yes, we have the heat pumping out of the pipes this morning. I’m so glad we were able to take in some of the homeless last night in our shelter behind the church.” He lowered his head running his fingers over his well-worn bible.

  “That is wonderful the church can help out like that. I’ll make sure I keep the shelter tidy and stocked also.”

  He looked up and nodded. “Thank you, Olivia. We appreciate your services, and they have not gone unnoticed.”

  ***

  As the day went on, Olivia cleaned and continued to look for anything else that could help the Boswells. Before leaving for the day, she spotted a disheveled appearing older man walking towards the confessional. She didn’t like the vibe that ema
nated from him. His eyes were shifty and he acted paranoid as he scanned the area looking to see if anyone was watching him. His fingernails were long and dirty. His gray beard was untidy and in need of a severe trim. He rubbed at the back of his neck. A few steps away from the confessional he shook his head and turned on his heels. He spotted Olivia in the back, and when their eyes met he lowered his head and turned back around to hustle into the confessional.

  Olivia had vowed to stay away from the confessional since overhearing a few confessions when she first began her investigation. It wasn’t her place to pass judgement or interfere in the lives of those people. She knew it was wrong, but this man made her skin crawl. She had nerves of steel, but something about him sent a shiver up her spine. Olivia knew from experience to trust her instincts, and this guy was acting sketchy. It wasn’t awkwardness or guilt that were visible in his actions like others who had confessed their sins. His behavior told her he was hiding something dark and far more sinister. She approached the confessional with soft footsteps. No one was around to see her.

  The monotonous gruff voice was hard to hear. “I’ve done something bad, Father. It’s eating away at me. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. It’s killing me.”

  Olivia heard Reverend Higgins say something, but she couldn’t make it out. The voice continued.

  “I didn’t mean to do it. I run a cremation service. Local funeral homes send remains to us to be cremated and we return the ashes to them. I got really sick a few years back. I was in the hospital for a month with a virus that turned into what they called sepsis. The doctors never knew what caused it, but they finally found an antibiotic that worked. By the time I got home, I realized that my brother had not been keeping up with the business and had let some of the cremations get behind. He sent ashes mixed with other material back to the funeral homes. I knew he didn’t like dealing with dead people, which is why I took over the business from our father.”