Role of a Lifetime

by James Brown

  Height is also reflected in a life that sees everyone as someone special. That is something I keep foremost in my mind—to remember to treat everyone as someone special—because they are. Everyone has a gift, a talent. Everyone has something valuable to contribute to the whole, to the team.

  The foundation determines the height—and the impact you will leave in this world. That will determine the level of success in your life, regardless of the final verdict imposed by the measurement of success by society.

  I was trying to build upon that solid foundation of my trust in God for my growing faith. Actually, my sister Alicia and my mom played significant roles in building that foundation. Alicia was the first in our household to accept Christ, which she did during her sophomore year in college. Her real growth spiritually occurred a couple of years later, when she began to take more time in reading her Bible on her own, and in attending a weekly Christian Fellowship group on Thursday nights, instead of merely going to church once a week.

  My mother had grown up in a Baptist household, with ministers throughout the family. Sometime after Alicia had graduated from college and moved back to DC, her influence led Mom to accept Christ as well. This was a wake-up call for the rest of us, because this meant that Mom realized that despite her background and our upbringing on Godly principles that something was missing in her life. Despite the Godly example she had always been throughout our childhood years, that all-important element of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ was missing.

  As I later learned myself, she was right. We had a “head knowledge,” in that we grasped the Bible and its stories intellectually. What we didn’t have was a “heart knowledge,” in that we had yet to ask Jesus to come into our hearts and to accept Him into our lives.

  As the Apostle Paul wrote, “Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in the Christian life. I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger” (1 Cor. 3:1–2a NLT). Most of us start as new believers at a younger age, and then learn and grow. Mom started her personal relationship as an adult. When she accepted Christ into her heart, she already had such a vast knowledge of the Bible to fall back on, a knowledge that was now infused with a spirit on fire to learn more about God and walk even more closely with Him.

  She matured very quickly in her faith, and then Alicia and Mom turned their attention toward me. They were concerned about me and my salvation, and with those two set on that course, it was inevitable—just a matter of time—before the same result occurred in my life.

  * * *

  I realized somewhere along the way in the building of my foundation of faith that true success comes from the Lord. I know that may seem trite to say—we’ve heard it so often, even maybe misused at times. But I have learned that to be a truth in my own life. While we are charged with working as diligently as we can—my vow to not fail because of a lack of preparation—any worldly success we have is truly just an undeserved blessing from God, whether or not we acknowledge it at the time. The circumstances of each day, over which we have no control, are too varied and numerous for any of us to be able to anticipate or control for our good. He will pave the way, He is our advocate. “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another” (Psalm 75:6–7 KJV). I have clung to this verse for years. I understand it to mean that I do not need to blow my own horn.

  There has become something of an epidemic of self-aggrandizement, self-promotion in our world. Popular self-help books on business speak of promoting your accomplishments; other people have public relations firms on retainer, and so on. I’m not saying that there is anything inherently wrong with those things, but rather that promoting ourselves shouldn’t be our primary focus. We live in a “Look at me!” world, but I think, instead, we should rely on a foundation that is first and foremost built on a relationship with God. He can and will do the promoting for us, and bring others along in the process to help—therefore, be appropriately modest.

  God gave you special gifts, to be sure, but He also gifted everyone else in some form or fashion like no one else. So while you are unique and special, remember that everyone else is as well. Build on the foundation of those gifts and abilities He has given you. Become all He created you to be, and leave the promotion to Him and others He brings alongside you and into your life.

  When I was at Xerox, in 1974, a member of the senior management team, Addison Barry Rand, a truly gifted executive, outlined certain principles for success to a number of us on the company’s sales team. Over the years I have refined his list, embraced it as a continuing part of my personal foundation building, and have had the opportunity to share it with numerous and varied groups, and to young people in particular. It’s merely a call to remember the fundamentals of life, or for some young people—who are where I once was—a chance to hear, learn, and internalize what I believe are the essential fundamentals for success in their lives.

  I refer to them as the Ingredients for Successful Living, but they consist of what I believe are my seven fundamentals for success. Rather straightforward and easily made a part of your daily living, the seven ingredients consist of Good Communication Skills, Appearance, Personal Relations, Punctuality, Thirst for Knowledge, Being a Team Player, and Overcoming Adversity.

  As for the first, Good Communication Skills, this includes not only speaking and writing, but maybe most importantly listening. How you speak and what you say, matters. Jesus said, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh” (Luke 6:45 KJV). Time and again, the Bible cautions us on what we say, pointing out that it is reflective of our thoughts and our inner being. As the book of James notes, both salt water and fresh cannot flow from the same spring. Your speech has the power to inflame and hurt. You can wound those around you.

  Many times the best thing you can do is to be quiet, and listen, as your speech can even show your ignorance. While it’s always good to remember the cautionary words attributed to Abraham Lincoln, that “’Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt,” there’s another reason to be silent. Those that you meet can provide significant learning opportunities for you. Don’t be afraid to stand on the shoulders of giants, as I have had opportunities to do. Those that have gone before me have learned things that they can share, and often will, if I simply ask. And I can’t learn if I’m so busy speaking through what they have to offer.

  I was guilty of this early on in my career when I was in local government, while making a sales call early in my career. I had arrived late to travel to the appointment with a co-worker, to call on a person that I had known growing up. I was comfortable in my previous relationship with them—too comfortable—and slipped into colloquial speak, the language I would have used around the neighborhood, not in business. I didn’t realize until later that I was being disrespectful, to both my co-worker and the person we came to see.

  The co-worker traveling with me that day was Bill Curry, one of the senior salespeople and one of the top salespeople in the country, year after year. He was also black, and he spoke with me afterward.

  “One, don’t ever be late again for an appointment that we’re going on together. I won’t tolerate that. I deal with these people in a professional light and I want to be viewed in that light. Two, you treat these people with respect. They are in a business setting and have earned the title and position that they enjoy, and you should treat them that way.”

  I learned another reason for listening that day—you send a message to the person that they have value, that they are someone special, that what they have to share is important to you, and that getting to know
who they are is more important to you than telling them who you are.

  The second ingredient, Appearance, I learned in that office that day at IBM when I interviewed right out of school. The way you look matters—clean and neat, properly dressed, shoes shined—and makes a very clear statement about you, and what you think of the situation and the people in front of you, before you even open your mouth. This may seem a bit superficial but remember, our objective being to become all we were created to be and making a real difference in the world, acknowledging some things of the world, if they don’t compromise core foundational beliefs, is necessary.

  There was another occasion, early in my business career that showed that my IBM experience hadn’t fully taken hold yet. The athletic world has always viewed dress as more avant-garde. It’s a little more on the edge. Accordingly, I went on a sales call with a female co-worker, and dressed as if I were still in college. Looking back, I realize I must have looked more like someone she had picked up off the sidewalk as she was walking into the building than a co-worker as she and I went to a sales call at, of course, a more staid and subdued corporate environment. I was wearing a black dress shirt, a black suit with a “pattern” of red splatters, a red tie and pocket square, and red leather shoes. I was an absolute mess, but I sure thought that I was the epitome of style. Looking back, I’m grateful for how patient people were with me in those days as I was learning how to build the foundation.

  I’m not suggesting with this ingredient, or with any of these, that you conform, but do understand this: there are acceptable dress codes in life at times. Absolutely true. At the same time, we have far too many people today who are willing to conform, to change who they are to please their peers or to fit into society in some other way. There is a more fundamental way. Be true to yourself. My faith also speaks to this point, as the Apostle Paul wrote to the believers in Rome, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God” (Rom. 12:2 KJV).

  Do not be conformed to this world, but don’t be so caught up in individuality for individuality’s sake that you put yourself at a disadvantage. Remember that your ultimate goal—the “height” you are headed for—should be to become all you can be using the gifts and abilities you have been given. You can’t do that locked in your room, or by staying in your office—you have to walk in the world. There is a level of acceptability and credibility you need to have in the world to be taken seriously. Look, my outfit before the Harvard/BU matchup was because I liked a very trendy style of dress back then and thought the look was cool. There was not anything inherently reflecting who I really was substantively in the look. Don’t unthinkingly conform on issues of substance. But don’t limit your options and opportunities to make a difference and to become all you can be—unnecessarily.

  I love Josh Hamilton’s story. He was the first overall selection by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in the 1999 amateur baseball draft. Over the next few years, he fell prey to the demons of substance abuse, an issue that afflicts countless numbers in our nation, and Josh was completely out of baseball for nearly four years. The Rays, understandably, moved on without him. During those dark days, he had twenty-six different tattoos etched on his body, including one of the Devil on his left arm.

  Hamilton’s story, however, doesn’t end with those lost days. He has been clean and free of drugs since October 6, 2005, crediting his personal saving relationship with Christ for the transformation. Major League Baseball tests him three times a week, which helps him with his accountability. But the tattoos remain, reminding him of those dark days. And so he is back playing baseball as one of the best players in the game, living up to his potential, covering his tattoos with clothing.

  You may change your mind someday about how you want to look, but the piercings or tattoos you get in the meantime to “express yourself” to feel part of a group you really don’t want to be part of for the long term, or to claim some other identity to feel accepted, may be permanent. Or someone else may have different ideas about them—totally unrelated to your reasons for them in the first place—or your clothing, and make a judgment about you in the interim.

  For me, I wouldn’t close any doors unnecessarily. I now dress conservatively, figuring that I should err on the side of conservative attire. That’s the world in which I walk. That’s the world in which God has me at the moment where I can make a difference. I can always dress in a way that more reflects me when I’m with people that already know the content of my character.

  If you make a decision that you want to be in a certain kind of arena, then study the culture of that arena, the kind of “uniform” that they wear, and get on board with it. If everybody who works there wears purple shorts and that’s what it takes to get in the game, and you want to be a part of that game, then I suggest you get purple shorts—and wear them. If you don’t, then make a decision to go elsewhere, or create your own institution with your own attire. But if you do stay the course and pursue the purple shorts position, don’t be upset if they decide to hire someone else, anyway.

  Just understand that most people will interpret you based on how you look and are attired. It’s often the first thing they see, and the first impression they have. Maybe it shouldn’t be that way, but I can tell you that it most assuredly is. You told them with your attire that you weren’t interested in understanding the mores of their group. You subconsciously, or intentionally, have given them a glimpse into your heart as it perceives who they and their organization are.

  The heart is the seat of who you are and your outward appearance and actions reflect to the outside world what is in your heart. It is where God looks, also. He is very clear about that. When the Lord was directing Samuel in his search for the next King of Israel, Samuel kept bringing Him the most handsome, well-built, bright men in the kingdom—all of David’s brothers. God kept refusing, and finally said to Samuel, “Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORDseeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7 KJV). And the smallest brother of the lot—David—was selected, because of his heart.

  However, most people stop at the outside and don’t look at the heart often enough. For better or worse—probably worse—they look at outward appearances. And they end up by doing that too often, to judge the person—and who they are and the state of their heart—by their appearance. Fair? Not always. Reality? Most always. Therefore, don’t handicap your journey to reach your goals and make the difference you dream of making, whether through chances in business, in relationships, or in other venues before you have the chance to make a statement and impression of who you are—in your heart. And when you yourself move into a similar decision-making capacity, like those you found yourself before, remember this conversation we’ve had so that perhaps you take a longer look into the heart of the person before you, rather than at their outward appearance.

  Third, your Personal Relations skills are important to building the foundation. Some refer to these as interpersonal skills or an emotional intelligence quotient. How do you relate to others? Can you support those around you? Can you be trusted by those around you? The answers must be yes. You have to have the character and integrity to be trusted by those around you—those who depend on you, and on whom you also depend.

  I had the privilege a number of years ago to host a panel of high-level corporate leaders, including former President George H. W. Bush, Tony Robbins, and General Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr., on a television program called the “Corporate Leadership Speakers Series.” General Schwarzkopf made an observation during the program that I have not forgotten. He noted that an examination of failures at the highest level in corporate America—those at the “C-level” (CEO, CFO, COO, etc.)—indicate that the overwhelming majority are failures of integrity. The last few years are replete with examples of companies that have
either suffered significant losses, or gone completely out of business, reducing shareholder value and destroying their employees’ pensions along the way, because of a failure of integrity at the top.

  These Personal Relations skills—the ability to get along with and support others—are predicated on a realization that we live and work in a glorious mosaic, this United States of America. People are not all going to look like you or speak like you. They will have vastly different backgrounds and childhoods that will impact how they see the world. People from different cultures and genders bring different talents to the table than you bring, and gifts that we all can benefit from. To treat them and those gifts in any way other than as sacred is not only not right, but is not the best way toward a successful life—a life that realizes we live in a world of people from different cultures, backgrounds, life experiences, and beliefs. Being able to connect and interact with others different from us—without compromising our core beliefs—is crucial to our ability to work effectively in a diverse world and have the fullest positive impact we were meant to have.

  I love the biblical truth, “every joint supplies.” 1 Paraphrasing Ephesians 4:15b–16, we are all a part of the body of Christ with a specific role to play. Every single joint in the body meets a unique need and is no less—or more—important than any other members of the body. We see this firsthand every day on the athletic fields and courts. Teams, which I’ll talk a bit more about in the context of another ingredient, comprise wildly different members, and the best-performing ones, those high-impact teams, are the ones that draw on the talents of each and every one of their members.

  Fourth is Punctuality. Being prompt makes a statement about you, and, like your appearance, usually does so before you even have a chance to open your mouth. It shows reliability and dependability, and maybe most importantly, it shows that you respect those who are relying on you and that you respect their time.