Camellia

by Lesley Pearse

  Camellia climbed into the passenger seat, put her plimsolls on and fastened up her rucksack.

  'Here,' Reg held out a couple of pound notes. 'Take this for your fare home.'

  Camellia looked at his kindly weather-beaten face and felt ashamed she'd been wary of him earlier.

  'That's very kind of you,' she said weakly. She wanted to kiss his cheek but the smell of his stale sweat deterred her. 'Give me your address and I'll send it back to you.'

  To her surprise he laughed.

  'What! The old woman'd throttle me if she knew I'd picked up a young girl,' he said. 'You just keep it and welcome. But be a bit more careful who you take lifts off in future. There's plenty of truckers who ain't got no respect for women.'

  At eight in the morning Camellia was outside 34 Ladbroke Square. Mercifully it had stopped raining while she waited over a cup of tea at Waterloo for a more respectable hour. But she felt cold and very grubby.

  She rang Denise's bell, bracing herself for a telling off for arriving so early in the morning. But she was excited too: she had so much to tell Denise.

  By the time she'd rung three times and got no reply, Camellia felt vaguely sick. It hadn't even occurred to her that Denise might not be in. She rang the ground-floor flat.

  'I'm so sorry to disturb you,' she said as a middle-aged woman in her dressing gown answered the door. 'I've been ringing Mrs Tra-herne's flat and there's no reply. Do you know where she is?'

  'Off in Italy,' the older woman said curtly, clearly irritated at the intrusion. 'She left two days ago.'

  The woman was already moving to shut the door, but Camellia moved forward. 'I'm in a tight spot,' she said, then quickly went on to explain about her clothes and money being stored by Denise.

  'I can't help that,' the woman shrugged her shoulders, her face cold. 'I haven't got a key to her flat, and even if I had I wouldn't dream of letting a stranger in there. You'd better go to the police.'

  By five in the afternoon Camellia was close to breaking down in tears. She had spent nearly the whole day at Charles House, the National Assistance Board in Kensington High Street, but all they'd given her was 75 pence, the daily subsistence allowance they doled out to vagrants. Until she had an address they couldn't give her more. But how could she get an address without advance rent?

  She had begged tearfully, then got angry when they wouldn't listen. When she said she had twenty pounds in a Post Office, with which she could repay any loan once she got her book back from Denise, they merely pointed out she could try asking at a Post Office to see what they could do.

  Everything was against her. In jeans and a sweater she looked travel worn and grubby, and her hair needed washing. Was it any wonder that she'd been turned away from her old student hostel in Earls Court with a flea in her ear? Was anyone going to trust a girl who had all her entire worldly possessions in a rucksack on her back?

  Over another cup of tea in a cafe, she counted out her money. £1.48 was all she had left. She was sorely tempted to go to the West End and steal a wallet.

  'No,' she whispered to herself, cupping her hands around the mug of tea and trying to ignore the growl of hunger in her stomach. 'There has to be another way.'

  Thinking back to her days with Dougie she found it ironic that at that time any self-respecting hippie would offer a stranger shelter for the night, even if it was only on the floor. But the tide had turned, 'Love is all you need' had no meaning now in the 70s. People had become suspicious and self-protective.

  By eight that evening Camellia was desperate and very cold. She'd walked from Charles House down to Hammersmith to see her old friend Suzanne, but found she and her family had moved to Watford two years earlier. Perhaps if she'd been a better friend and kept in touch she would have known that. Pride precluded even attempting to go out to Archway House, instinctively she knew she would get no sympathy from Miss Peet and any other addresses and telephone numbers of old acquaintances were all locked in Denise's flat with the rest of her belongings.

  It was as she stood at Hammersmith Broadway that Miles, one of her mother's old lovers, came to her mind. Holland Park wasn't that far away.

  She had intended to have a good job, a decent home and be looking stunningly well dressed before she embarked on presenting herself to any of these men, but she was frantic enough to try anything.

  It was a long shot. But this man had said he had great respect for her father and presumably he'd met her as a small child. She had nothing much to lose: the worst he could do was slam the door in her face. With luck he might offer her tea and a sandwich. If he was pleasant she might even be able to admit her predicament and get a bed for the night.

  Camellia knew that Holland Park was an area inhabited by the rich. Miles's house was small in comparison to its neighbours. But as she peered through the arched wrought iron gate she felt her courage seeping away.

  It was so very smart. A light over the front door illuminated the heavy brass knocker, glossy dark green paint and two bay trees in tubs. She almost turned tail and ran. A sixth sense told her she would get no welcome here, but perversely she opened the gate and walked up to the front door.

  A bell echoed through the house. She saw a light come on in the hall and then heard the shuffling of old feet coming towards the door.

  The door opened and a small, wizened man in a dark suit looked her up and down. 'Yes?'

  'Miles?' she asked. 'I'm sorry, I don't know your surname.'

  The man's lips curled scornfully. "This is Sir Miles Hamilton's London residence.'

  For a moment Camellia could only gape stupidly at the old man. Never in her wildest imaginings had she considered that the letters came from someone titled. This old man, looking at her so scornfully, must be a butler or manservant. She knew she had blown it. She should've done some homework before coming here.

  'I didn't,' Camellia stopped short, racking her brain for a sensible way of introducing herself. 'I mean, I'm sorry to call without contacting Sir Hamilton first, but I've just got back from the continent and I wanted to have a word with him. Is it possible for me to see him?'

  'Sir Miles is away at present,' the man replied sharply. 'If you would like to leave your visiting card, I will give it to him on his return.'

  Camellia had a strong desire to turn and run. 1 don't have any cards,' she said weakly. 'My name is Camellia Norton and I believe he was an old friend of my father's. I came across a letter from him after my mother died. I just wanted to introduce myself to him.'

  The man turned for a second, took a small pad from a table just inside the door and handed it to her. His heavily lined face was inscrutable. 'Write your name and address on here,' he said.

  Camellia was stuck. 'I don't have a permanent address at the moment,' she said falteringly. 'I'm passing through London on my way to a new job. I'll just leave my name and perhaps I can write to him later.'

  She wrote down her name and handed back the pad.

  'I'm sorry to disturb you.' She tried to smile but she was dangerously close to tears. 'Goodnight.'

  Camellia had slept rough in France and Spain, but it had been warm there and she'd had the company of a group of other people. In the absence of any alternative she wandered around until one in the morning, then made her way into Holland Park and curled up under a dense bush, her head on her rucksack.

  She was too cold and hungry to sleep, and she smarted at her stupidity in calling cold on Sir Miles Hamilton. What was he going to think when he returned home and learned she called on him with a rucksack on her back? Well, she'd blown that one. She wouldn't dare contact him again.

  It was a long night. From time to time she heard strange rustlings in the bushes which made her skin crawl and the cold penetrated through to her very bones as she lay there trying to make some sort of plan for the next day.

  She thought of calling on a few hotels and restaurants in the West End, to see if they'd take her on as casual labour. But that still left her with nowhere to sleep. Then, just
as she felt like sobbing in despair, she recalled Pete Holt back in Ibiza talking about Butlins holiday camp in Bognor Regis. He had done some spring cleaning there at the end of the summer season and it sounded grim. Yet he said he made enough money to get him onto Ibiza, and he got fed and had a chalet to sleep in.

  As the first light of dawn appeared in the sky she got up and left, afraid someone with a dog might find her and call the police if she stayed any longer. As she walked back down the deserted Kensington High Street she was still thinking about Butlins.

  It seemed a good idea to leave London, where people were so hard and suspicious. Even if it came to the worst and they wouldn't take her on at Butlins, the people in the national assistance offices down there would probably be more sympathetic. Bognor Regis had other advantages too. It was near to Littlehampton where Jack Easton had his garage, and Amberley, where Aunt Lydia lived.

  Camellia had thought a great deal more about her mother's childhood while she was in Ibiza. She knew she had been evacuated to Sussex during the war. Bonny had often said it was a lucky break for her, that Aunt Lydia had given her opportunities she would never have got back in London with her parents. Camellia wondered whether the bitterness she remembered between her grandmother and Bonny was due to this enforced estrangement. It would be good to meet Lydia, and find out more about her mother's childhood.

  If she could just talk herself into a job, something to tide her over until Denise returned from Italy, she could investigate both Jack and Lydia in her spare time, then return to London.

  Some sort of homing instinct made her walk through the back streets of Chelsea instead of taking a more direct route to the river and the South London main road. She knew no one in Chelsea now, but it drew her despite all the bad memories.

  In Oakley Street she paused by the railings of number fourteen and looked down into the basement with a mixture of nostalgia for the good times she'd known there and deep sorrow. The people who lived there now had repainted the front door a glossy dark blue and a brass coach lamp was fixed to the wall.

  Through the window she could see a large three-piece suite and a glass-topped coffee table. Camellia sighed, remembering Bee's poignant desire for a vase of daffodils in a white painted sunny room. There were no flowers now, just soulless expensive furniture.

  Self-preservation was to the forefront of her mind as she hurried away towards Albert Bridge. She had to find somewhere to stay, today. If she spent one more night sleeping rough, it would show, and no one would take her on in any job, however humble.

  Camellia did not arrive at the gates of Butlins holiday camp until nearly six that evening. She had been quite fortunate in lifts at first: one truck driver had picked her up in Battersea and taken her as far as Guildford, and the next had taken her to Milford and told her to get a lift down the A286 all the way to Chichester. But her luck had run out there and she'd walked miles along the Bognor Regis road feeling dizzy with hunger and so cold she actually contemplated asking for help in a police station.

  But at last she was here. As she approached the security man in his booth she was determined to get a job even if she had to lie through her teeth and sleep with the devil to do it.

  She had never seen a Butlins holiday camp before. As a child she'd heard people talking about them and got the idea they were paradise. She thought she ought to feel excited to be at one at last, but she was too tired, hungry and cold to appreciate it. There was a fun fair, over to her right, all lit up with coloured lights. As T. Rex's 'Get it On' which she'd heard constantly in Ibiza was blaring out, it seemed the best of omens.

  'I've come for a job,' she said firmly, switching on a bright smile for the security man and concealing her rucksack between her legs. 'I believe you need people for the big clean-up.'

  The man looked ex-military, a big chap in a green uniform with gold epaulettes and a moustache. Camellia had a theory about moustaches, based on her own experience, starting with her father. She firmly believed men who sported them were true gentle types, who grew them to appear more fierce.

  'That's the first I've heard of it,' he said, looking surprised, but his tone was genial. 'I'm sure we've got everyone we need.'

  Camellia was dismayed and she let him see it. 'But I've come all the way from London,' she said, gripping the counter of his booth. 'I was told you always need people at this time of year.'

  He gave Camellia the once-over. 'I'll ring personnel and ask for you,' he said.

  Camellia sensed she had to present a stronger case for herself. The man's hand was only inches away on the counter, and she puts hers over it.

  'Please use your influence,' she begged, looking right into his eyes. 'I really need a job badly. I'll work like three other girls.'

  George Unwin wasn't usually a soft touch. Every day at Butlins, people tried to con their way in, to use the swimming pool, to steal purses or some other skulduggery. But he liked something in this girl's tanned face. She looked exhausted, and she had no coat even though it was growing chilly, but it was a good face, he thought an honest one.

  'It would only be temporary,' he replied. 'You do know that, don't you?'

  'I only need somewhere for two or three weeks.' She allowed her eyes to fill up with tears and quickly told him about losing her money. 'I'm really desperate,' she finished off.

  'Okay, I'll see what I can do,' he said brusquely, but she knew he was now on her side.

  She waited, politely out of earshot as he spoke to someone on the telephone.

  He put the phone down after a couple of minutes and smiled at her. 'Looks like you're in luck,' he said. 'They could do with another pair of hands, but mind you keep your nose clean or I'll be for it.'

  Camellia could've kissed him.

  Two hours later Camellia was lying on a bed in a staff chalet, hearing from Janice, the girl she was to share with, just how bad it was working at Butlins.

  Janice was a pint-sized eighteen-year-old with thick glasses and wispy red hair. She was still wearing her uniform striped nylon overall, and she had a dirty tidemark round her wrists as if her hands had been in dirty water all day. As soon as she stubbed out one cigarette she lit another. Even her face had a yellow tinge as though stained with nicotine.

  'Mrs Willows, the supervisor, is a dragon. We have to scrub every inch of the chalets, she never lets up on us. Next week they'll have us scrubbing out the kitchens and the dining rooms too. If it wasn't for my bonus I'd leave right now.'

  Camellia didn't care how grim it was. After filling in an application form and being informed of her duties and the company rules, she had been taken to the cafeteria and given the biggest plate of fish and chips she'd ever seen, followed by spotted dick and custard and several cups of tea. She assumed this staff chalet with its bare wood walls and dim light wasn't quite the same standard the holiday-makers enjoyed, but it beat sleeping rough.

  'Janice,' she laughed, stretching out on her narrow iron bed. 'I'm so happy to be here I'd gladly wipe people's bottoms for them if I were asked. All I want now to make my happiness complete is a hot bath and bed.'

  'You won't be saying that in a day or two,' Janice said darkly. Then she smiled with some warmth and held out her cigarettes. 'Have a fag, Mel. It will be nice to have some company, it's been creepy being in here alone at nights.'

  Janice was right, it was a terrible job. Mrs Willows, the Supervisory Housekeeper, was a female Attila the Hun. Nothing escaped her eagle eye, not a smear on a window or the tiniest piece of chewing-gum stuck to the bottom of a chair. The chalets Janice, Camellia and a team of other girls had to clean had been vacated the previous Saturday. The bedding and curtains went to the laundry, mattresses were carried away to a storeroom, the furniture had to be taken outside to be scrubbed with disinfectant, and then the floor and walls were scrubbed too before carting everything back. Camellia hadn't realised on her first night just how big the camp was. She soon lost any illusions that she was in paradise.

  Wherever they were on the cam
p, they were always within earshot when Mrs Willows bawled some luckless chalet maid out for not completing the job to her satisfaction. On her very first morning Camellia saw the woman pull a girl by her ear into a chalet. She half expected to find that same girl in chains later.

  By the second day Camellia's hands were red and sore, her back ached and she felt she had cleaning fluid in her veins instead of blood. The nylon overall she had to wear was shapeless, ugly and it made her smell sweaty. But the job had its lighter moments: the other chalet maids were a funny ill-assorted bunch of girls from all walks of life and they welcomed a new face in their midst.

  The summer season was almost over. The few holiday-makers left in the camp were mainly elderly couples and families with under fives, all there at bargain prices. The staff were in a highly excitable state brought about by a combination of exhaustion and the promise of a good bonus when they left for good in two weeks. Janice claimed the entertainment had grown slack and the food dire, compared with the high season. But to Camellia both seemed pretty good. She could take a swim in the indoor pool at certain hours of the day, have a go at roller-skating and watch the cabaret show at night. In quieter moments, when Mrs Willows disappeared for a time, Janice and the other girls regaled Camellia with all the gossip about the various Red Coats.

  It was on the following Tuesday, her day off, that Camellia decided to try and find Jack Easton and Aunt Lydia. She had been paid on Saturday afternoon and felt flush enough to buy a cheap day return to Littlehampton on the train.

  The file of old letters was back at Denise's, so Camellia had only her memory to rely on. Although the name of the road Jack's garage was in escaped her, she was sure once she looked at a town map it would come back to her.

  As she came out of Littlehampton station she had a flash of deja vu. She could only suppose she'd been here before with her mother and father at some time. A large street map was right outside and as her eyes scanned down the index Terminus Road jumped up at her immediately. To her further delight she was actually standing in that road.