Past Transgressions: A Russian Roulette Love Story

by Janae Keyes

  “He and I may have discussed it. He just doesn’t want your heart broken again, and neither do I. You always end up broken and in tears when things go bad with Igor. Maybe this trip you ignore him and let him see you’ve moved on,” I expressed to my best friend.

  It was always funny to me that she was so hung up on this one guy when she could get any guy she wanted. Katya was gorgeous, and she hadn’t come across a guy who didn’t want to make her his.

  “Maybe you can be right,” she admitted with a frown. Katya was hopelessly in love with a guy who couldn’t show his love back to her in the same way and continued to keep her hanging on for something that wasn’t possible. “Many times I hate Ms. Responsible Rae, but she is the smart one.”

  “What’s the plan for today?” I knew it was time to change the subject.

  “We shop. You need coat to live.”

  I laughed, knowing it was true. I’d die without the proper winter outerwear.

  “Anything else?”

  “Get you sexy for my cousin.”

  “Katya! No!”

  “Why not?”

  “We’re here for three weeks. I’m not going to get with your cousin. I’m not here for that. I can’t hook up with a guy I’d have no future with whatsoever.”

  “Yes, you can! Have fun, only once. You always work with job, school, and family. Have fun.”

  I supposed Katya was right. Fun wasn’t exactly in my vocabulary. Working multiple jobs and getting my master’s degree, there was never time for anything else. Then there was my family. I sent a good amount of the money I was able to make to them.

  My mom was unable to work, and my sister was autistic. There was always the three of us. When my sister was a toddler, and it was obvious life would be a little harder than usual, my dad left us.

  To make matters worse, when I was fourteen, my mom suffered a major injury on her job that left her unable to work. We’d always struggled, but that made the struggle fall on my shoulders. I worked odd jobs until I could legally work at sixteen and then I took on multiple jobs.

  I worked my ass off in school and at work. I worked through some of the hardest challenges anyone should have to face and came out on the other side intact.

  Upon time to go to college, I was just going to go to the local community college, but my mom insisted I follow my dreams. She told me that she and my sister would survive and they had. I did what I could for them and worked to follow my passions, though it left very little time to let my hair down.

  “The girls always love Alexei. He is single now. I saw him look with you, he likes you.” Katya sounded almost sure of herself.

  Though I would love to explore my freedom, in the back of my mind, I feared becoming attached. I had only three weeks in the country, and I knew a lot could happen in only three weeks. Why would I allow myself to be with a man I knew I could never have something lasting with? We came from two different countries and had two different lives, it wasn’t something I could ever explore.

  After a traditional breakfast of kasha, a Russian grain porridge, Katya and I were off shopping. I wore a large tan coat that belonged to Sofiia along with a large furry hat that felt like having a heater on my head, perfection.

  It was very apparent that the way of dressing in Russia for young women was very sexy, even in the dead cold of winter. Katya’s style now made sense to me. My friend constantly flaunted around in short tight dresses and heels, even to just attend a class. I would never knock her for it, Katya had a banging body and rocked anything she put on.

  “This look hot on you, try,” Katya insisted as she shoved a short hot pink dress in my direction. “You need something sexy for Alexei. I get you pretty tonight, you never get pretty. You look pretty with make-up and hair, I do for you.”

  I rolled my eyes, I refused to respond to my friend who continued to insist that I get laid.

  Katya was right, I never took the time to dress up. Work took up any free time and most nights get Katya was getting dolled up to go to the club, I was getting dressed for one of my jobs. I wore the minimum amount of makeup on a normal basis. Who or what was I going to get dressed up for?

  “I see eyes, don’t roll to me. You need dick, I tell truth!” Katya’s voice seemed to echo around the store. I ducked in order to not be seen by anyone with my sex obsessed friend who still checked her phone every few minutes awaiting something from Igor, who’d yet to text back.

  “I’ll make a deal with you, I will hook up with someone if you finally get a text back from Igor.” Right away my friend looked taken aback. “Don’t act like I haven’t seen you constantly checking your phone. I know you’re still waiting for him to text you back.”

  Katya thought about it for a moment before a wicked smile crossed her lips.

  “Deal.”

  There was a possibility I’d just made a deal with the devil.

  Upon leaving the store, Katya and I strolled down the street together. She’d taken me to a stopping area along one of the many canals that crossed through the city. I glanced to see large sheets of ice floating along the surface.

  We began to pass a building that had a large delivery truck parked up front. Voices shouting in Russian as we passed.

  Coming around a side of the truck, I saw him. His broad shoulders were covered in a large black coat and his ice blue eyes looked directly into mine. The smile on his lips unmistakable.

  “Sestra!” he shouted in our direction as he waved us over. “Come in, it is cold,” he added as Katya took me by the hand and dragged me towards her cousin.

  Katya chatted away in her native tongue with her cousin as he took is inside of the building. I avoided Alexei’s gaze as Katya and I strode with him, Katya doing all the talking.

  With the dark gray walls and elaborate bar, it took a moment for me to realize we were inside of a night club.

  The bar was made of all glass and bottles of every kind of alcohol possible lining the glass shelves. The room filled with comfortable looking couches and a large dance floor.

  “I get hot drink,” Alexei announced before he left Katya and I alone at the bar.

  “Alexei owns the club,” my friend informed me.

  Chatting with Katya, I learned that Alexei bought the club the year prior and turned it into the hottest club in the city. Everyone in a 500-mile radius wanted to get on the list of his club, and it was constantly packed.

  Alexei returned, two mugs in his hands. He placed them down on the bar in front of us, his eyes intensely staring into mine.

  The smell of spices filled my nose as I leaned into the steaming hot mug he’d presented me with.

  “It is sbiten,” Alexei said.

  “And what is it?” I inquired. “It smells really good.”

  I took the hot mug into my hands, the warmth starting in my hands and moving up through my arms. My lips at the edge of the cup and taking a sip of the hot liquid. A spiced warmth filled my mouth, I moaned. Alexei’s eyes shot up to me.

  “You like?” Alexei questioned.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “Sbiten, it is hot spice drink. Very nice in cold,” Katya explained before a buzzing through through.

  Alexei fumbled around before pulling his phone from his pocket, his face filled with annoyance as he glared down at his touch screen. His finger swiped across the screen before he shoved it back in his pocket and placed his attention fully back on Katya and I.

  The entire time Katya was chatting away about other places we’d go, I hadn’t fully been paying attention as I was focused on Alexei. The energy around him was alluring and drew me to him, keeping me hanging on.

  Only a moment later, Alexei’s phone was buzzing again. He grunted loudly at pulling it from his pocket again before once again shoving it back in his pocket.

  “Someone is popular,” I mentioned, Alexei’s ice blue eyes glaring into mine.

  “You like party?” Alexei questioned.

  “I like to party,” I answered. Though I worke
d often and I could seem to be quiet on the outside, I was no stranger to a good party.

  Alexei suddenly switched into Russian, speaking excitedly with Katya who was suddenly giddy and filled with excitement.

  “We come party here at club. Alexei get us in VIP,” Katya announced as she hopped from her seat and strolled to the abandoned dancefloor, wiggling her hips as she went.

  I laughed as Katya danced around practicing her dance moves for our apparent upcoming night at the club.

  “Look at you, Mr. Club Owner, eh?” I questioned before taking a sip of my warm drink. I was grateful for his thoughtfulness in getting Katya and I something hot to drink.

  My eyes studied his face, I’d gotten to look at him the day before, but there was something else about seeing him stand behind the bar of the dim club. The shadows hit the edges of his hard face just right and even in the dusty light, his blue eyes shined, leaving me nearly breathless.

  I quickly took another sip of my drink.

  “You like club?”

  “Yes, it’s nice. Will be nice to see it in full swing. An empty club is just an empty club.”

  “It is hottest club here.”

  I used the cinnamon stick in my drink to stir it a bit. I was lost for words sitting at the bar of a currently closed nightclub with the hot cousin of my best friend.

  “You speak Russian?” Alexei asked.

  “Not really, Katya taught me a few words.”

  “What she teach?”

  Through the years I was used to Katya’s broken English, which had gotten much better over the years, but there was something about Alexei’s broken English. It was incredibly alluring and kept me intrigued by him. His voice was thick and gruff, lined with a smooth sex appeal that his accent enhanced.

  “Zdravstvuyte,” I said saying hello. “Ummm—and poka.” Telling him bye.

  “Good,” Alexei noted with a small grin on his face.

  “Kak dela?”

  “I am well,” he answered. “So, you school with Katya?”

  “We go to the same school. I’m a physics major.”

  “You like the science, yes?”

  “Yes, I love science. There is so much to learn and know.”

  A smile came to Alexei’s lips as we spoke and got to know one another. Though quickly, the smile disappeared from his lips.

  Alexei pulled his cell phone from his pocket, the look of aggravation had replaced his smile as he peered at his screen for the millionth time.

  “Ostanovit!” he nearly shouted. Katya stopped her dancing instantly. “You and Katya come to club tonight. I hope to see you.” With his last words, he stressed his desire to see me. I inhaled sharply. God, I wanted to see him more. I wanted his hands on my body, his voice in my ear telling me all that dirty things he wanted to do with me. I was going insane, I knew it, but if I was to go insane, let it be with him.

  It was foolish of me to have any desire for him. With three weeks in the country, it was more than likely that I’d never see him again. He was a hot nightclub owner, and I was a girl who spent my time working my ass off for my future and my family.

  Katya rejoined us as she slipped her coat onto her arms. I finished off my drink and followed suit.

  A jingle I knew well came from Katya’s purse. My friend reached to retrieve her cell phone, and from the smile on her face, I knew exactly what happened. I watched Katya bite down on her lip, and she eagerly typed a reply to the message she’d received.

  “He finally text. Now your end of deal,” Katya said with a smirk as she gave me a wink and glanced in the direction of her cousin.

  I allowed my eyes to fall back on the man who stood on the other side of the counter. His gray long sleeved shirt was tight enough to show off his large biceps and broad shoulders. He ran his fingers through his short frosted brown hair while he looked down at his own phone.

  “Tonight, I have a car bring you,” Alexei said, referring to Katya and I coming to his club to see it in its full glory.

  Chatting away Katya spoke to her cousin until I heard the name of her ex and at once, Alexei exploded. He spoke to Katya in angry Russian, Katya yelled back instantly. The two of them standing head to head.

  “Okay, you two!” I yelled as I stood between them, pulling them apart. My hand firm on Alexei’s chest. I inhaled at his muscles flexing under my touch, the ice of his eyes piercing my own.

  “It is fine!” Alexei growled as he walked away, breaking our connection.

  Katya stood, chest heaving, angry. Her normally pale skin was bright red.

  “We go!” Katya yelled as she threw her purse over her shoulder and started to the door.

  Giving Alexei a frown, I followed Katya from the club and into the freezing cold.

  Once in the air, Katya took a deep breath and paused. She wiped the few falling tears from her eyes and began to walk towards the river’s edge.

  I followed close behind and stood with her at the railing.

  “He is like brother, but I don’t understand, he should want me happy,” Katya sniffed.

  Placing my arm around my friend, I allowed her to place her head on my shoulder as I looked out at the nearly frozen water.

  “I think he wants to protect you. Anyone who loves you wants you to be happy, and that means protecting your heart. Whenever you hook up with Igor, things always end up with you heartbroken, Alexei doesn’t want your heart broken and neither do I, but I understand you’re an adult and will do what you want,” I explained to my friend who gave me a weak smile.

  “You take care for everyone,” Katya cooed. “Now you care for you. Alexei take care for everyone too. He pisses me off, but he is brother, I always love him. We have deal, tonight, you look sexy.” Katya gave me a grin and a wink. “Goodbye Ms. Responsible!”

  I was only to be in Russia for nearly a month, and I wasn’t one for quick hookups, but maybe it is what I needed. Maybe just this once wouldn’t be a bad idea.

  Chapter 4

  Alexei

  I poured the clear liquid into the glass and shot it back into my throat as quickly as possible, feeling the warm heat slide down the back of my throat. Vodka could cure anything, and I needed the cure for my anger.

  Katya had gotten under my skin, something I didn’t allow anyone to do, but she was my sister. Only my family could appeal to my empathy. I only held those I loved close, close enough to get me angry with this stupid decision.

  Igor wasn’t good for Katya. That piece of shit had broken her heart more than once. Another flaw was the crew he ran with, the same people I used to align myself with.

  They continued to call me, they continued to try and get me back in their web. The same web I found myself tangled in at eighteen years old. A young guy who spent his teenage years in trouble that eventually led to prison.

  My years in prison were what led me into the organized crime lifestyle. I knew the life from my dad, but in prison, I made friends easily. Those I met aligned me with The Family, as they called themselves.

  Everyone knows the Uspensky family by mention. My father worked for the Uspensky family, and the inner walls of the prison I served my sentence at were ruled by them. Upon my arrival, I was brought in like a king. They groomed me and made me feel important, they went on about my father’s legacy.

  It all began there, and that is where I met Igor. He came into the prison a month after me. I clearly remember the skinny guy walking in, looking afraid and anxious. There was something about the guy that urged me to take him under my wing. We were brothers from that point.

  Igor didn’t look the part, scrawny and thin, but he packed a punch. He was a force to be reckoned with, and that force dragged in my cousin. The girls loved him, but from the moment he met Katya, she was his sun and moon.

  There was only one problem with Katya and Igor, they were explosive. There was always a fight and Katya was always left in tears. Igor had sold his soul to the mob, that was something I refused to do and got myself out.

  Kat
ya was smarter than she appeared, but Igor held her close on an invisible leash. She could be on another continent, but she still allowed her heart to be held by Igor.

  Taking another sip of my drink, I shook my anger away. Katya wasn’t a child, and I would have to allow her to make her own decisions, it pained me because she deserved better than the scum Igor was.

  It was now impossible to think of Katya without having Rae cross my mind. The feeling of her hand on my chest lingered. Her touch was firm yet gentle.

  Watching her leave hadn’t been in the plan and I hoped she’d come to the club as I’d invited she and Katya. I knew Katya would only remain angry for a short while, she could never resist a good party, and an open invitation as VIP at my club wasn’t an offer she would refuse.

  I’d been caught up in Rae since the moment I met her and seeing her again had awakened me. The time since my last lay had been long as I’d placed all my focus on my business and life was someone making a legal living. Dead bodies were no longer paying my bills, but hard working determination. Though that determination didn’t provide someone sweet to sink into.

  I drowned down my drink thinking of her. Rae would only be in Russia for a number of weeks, any thought of a relationship with her was insanity on my part. She’d return to America and forget me in a moment’s notice.

  “Drinking and it is only 11,” commented a voice I thought I’d never hear again.

  My eyes diverted to the doorway. I spotted the thin frame, she was a blonde, but the natural brunette was one I knew inside and out from head to toe, my ex-girlfriend, Micha.

  “I must have felt your presence near,” I sneered in her direction.

  “Don’t be so mean Alexei.”

  I watched her enter, her artificial hips and breasts. As she stepped into the space, she tried to sway her hips in a way that made her alluring, but as I’d just been in the company of a woman with the most sensual real curves, I had no reason to look twice at Micha.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked not placing any delay in knowing why she’d decided to visit me. Though I knew why.