by E M Lindsey
Cole was forced to wait the three extra minutes for Adrian to return with Kevin, but once he had the harness, he moved as fast as he could, rushing through his shower, easing his compression sleeve back on, and dressing. He raked his comb through his hair, then gathered his things and hurried to the lobby. He smelled Ryan’s distinct cologne and smiled when an elbow bumped against his.
“Ready?”
Cole turned to face him. “Do I look presentable?”
Ryan chuckled, and Cole wondered if Ryan wanted to kiss him just as much. “You look amazing, as always. Now, I just called ahead and put our names down for this little Greek place downtown. The food is amazing, and it’s a ten-minute drive from yours, so we won’t have to wait long.”
Cole merely nodded, letting the tension and want simmer as he followed Ryan to the car and eased Kevin in the back. The dog settled into the seat with a grateful huff, and Cole gave him a quick pat before getting himself settled. When Ryan reached over and took his hand, Cole sank into the sensation and allowed himself to enjoy the feel without worry who would notice, for the short time they were away from prying eyes.
Ryan hadn’t been lying. The food was amazing. They chatted about everything and nothing, and Cole couldn’t begin to describe the relief of just being able to exist without worrying about work, or about Claire, or about what was going to come next. It was just the moment, with a glass of wine and good food, and Ryan playing casual footsie with him under the table. He wasn’t a blind soldier trying to prove himself there. With Ryan, he just…was.
“So,” Ryan said as they headed back to Cole’s place, “are you getting excited for a match?”
Cole smiled at him, his head resting back against the seat. “I think so. It was rough today with the noise, but Adrian had the right idea trying to acclimate me to it.”
“You did amazing. I’ve taken a punch from that guy, so I know how much it sucks.”
Cole chuckled. “It’s never pleasant, but I like that he doesn’t go easy on me. It gets exhausting when people treat me like I’m made of glass.”
There was a hesitant pause, and then a little trepidation in Ryan’s tone when he asked, “Do I do that? Do I make you feel like…”
“No,” Cole said quickly. He reached out, searching for Ryan’s hand, and found it on the gearshift. “I wouldn’t be here in this car with you if you did. But my therapists tend to be a little…patronizing at times. I’m…I was,” he quickly corrected though he didn’t really think Ryan would notice the slip, “a bloody soldier. And yet I get applause when I managed to pour a glass of water without spilling. And I know that those accomplishments need to be celebrated but…”
“But there’s a difference between giving you the confidence you need to keep going and giving out a participation trophy for the small things almost anyone can do?” Ryan offered.
“Exactly,” Cole said. “Now, don’t get me wrong, if you want to lavish attention and praise on me for how well I suck your cock, you can feel free to do so. But you really don’t make me feel any less of a grown adult capable of being myself.”
“Jesus,” Ryan said, his voice a little thick. “That made me feel affectionate and horny, and I have no idea what to do with that.”
“I can think of a few ideas, but we have at least three more minutes until either one of us can act on them,” Cole teased. He smirked when he heard Ryan suck in a sharp breath, and he continued to hold his hand until they arrived.
After getting Kevin settled with his dinner and hanging up his harness, Cole immediately went for him. Ryan was there, waiting, going pliant the moment Cole’s hands were on him. He took quick steps back to the counter and let Cole crowd up against him.
“I wanted to snog your face off so bloody badly,” Cole murmured, his hand on Ryan’s cheek to keep himself oriented. “Listening to you breathe, feeling you touch me, knowing I couldn’t have you…”
“Fuck. Yes,” Ryan hissed out.
“Bedroom,” Cole demanded. Ryan didn’t put up any resistance as Cole took his hand and hurried them along to the back room. He shut the door behind them to keep out wandering dogs, then proceeded to shuck his clothing at a rapid-fire pace. He could hear Ryan doing the same, the sound of cloth hitting the warm, wood flooring, and it took no time at all to get Ryan under him, the cool sheets beneath their warm bodies, Cole hitching a leg between Ryan’s thighs.
“I want you in me,” Ryan said. “I prepared myself for you earlier. Just in case you wanted me.”
Cole was unable to stop his deep-chested groan. “I always fucking want you,” he said, his hand slipping to feel Ryan’s hard cock beneath his palm. He closed his fingers around it, letting the velvet-soft skin soak its warmth into his. It was a marvel to touch—veiny and thick, the cut head bulbous and always leaking whenever Cole was near. They hadn’t the chance to do this too often, but enough times Cole knew him perfectly by touch, and could conjure up the phantom sensations every time he let himself think about it.
“Lube,” Ryan said. “Is it still…”
“Nightstand,” Cole said in a rush, but instead of letting Ryan up to grab it, he hovered over him and kissed him deep, slow, a thrusting of tongue much in the way he planned to thrust inside his arse later. He felt his stomach clench at it, the want almost too much. He pulled away with a series of biting pecks, then pushed all the way off. “Okay, go on.”
Ryan chuckled and Cole felt the bed shift as Ryan wriggled his way to the edge of the bed, returning seconds after he heard the drawer slide closed. The cool bottle of lube touched the side of his hand, and the jagged edge of a condom beside it.
Cole didn’t want to wait. He’d been on edge, and he was feeling so many things. He needed to be inside of this man, and nothing would stop him. He quickly uncapped the bottle and coated his fingers, brushing them down over Ryan’s balls, then between his cheeks as Ryan’s knees crooked up and hips angled to give Cole better access.
Cole was still getting used to navigating this all by touch, feeling his way across skin peppered with hair, skin textured in some places, smooth in others. He loved the feel of the puckered opening beneath the pad of his fingers, the way he could hear Ryan’s breathing speed up, the way he could feel the muscles in his body tense.
Yes, he did wish he could see him. He knew he would forever lament that was lost to him, but he would not ever assume this wouldn’t be enough, that he couldn’t feel how beautiful this man was—even if this was all just temporary. He let out a slow breath, then pushed one finger inside.
“Shit,” Ryan gasped. “Shit, yes.” He arched his hips and Cole pushed in, angling his hand so he brushed across the bundle of nerves, lighting Ryan up all over. He grinned as Ryan ground down around his finger, his thighs tense, like he was begging for more.
“Another?” Cole asked.
“Yes. Another. Fuck,” Ryan groaned.
Cole complied, sliding in his second finger and then making a small V to spread him. Ryan hadn’t lied. He’d cleaned himself out and felt partly stretched like he’d been fucking himself with a toy all day. The thought of that alone sent waves of desire straight to his dick and he had to reach down and palm himself to regain some control.
“You’re ready for me. You want me,” he murmured.
“Yes. I’m ready. I want you. Please, Cole, fuck me.”
He needed no further invitation. Pulling his hand away, he fumbled for the condom, sliding it on before adding a generous palm of lube, then he pushed Ryan’s knees toward his chest and used his hand to guide him inside. He hissed through his teeth as Ryan’s breath hitched, as he felt the tight ass around him start to squeeze, to drink him in further.
His hand drifted to the inside of Ryan’s thigh and he let his fingernails draw blunt lines against his skin. “You feel so good. So bloody perfect. I could stay like this forever.”
Ryan couldn’t answer then, lost in the sensation of being fucked. His hands were on Cole’s hips and a short, sharp, “Uh uh uh,” was bursti
ng from his mouth every time Cole thrust in.
It was so much, and it was not enough, but Cole felt himself careening toward orgasm. He didn’t want to come first, wanting to draw Ryan over the edge with him, so he quickly braced himself on the bed with his uninjured arm, using the other to reach between them, taking Ryan’s leaking cock in his hand. Just a few strokes, a thumb pressed to his slit, and Ryan cried out wordlessly, spilling over Cole’s knuckles.
Then, when Ryan’s arse spasmed over his own cock, sucking him in deeper, that was all it took to bring Cole over with him. His head dropped to Ryan’s collarbone and he gave shallow, sharp thrusts until he was spent.
His breathing was heavy, but he felt the immediate sense of contentment as he carefully pulled out and rolled to the side. Ryan moved with him, the sheets shuffling as he sat up and carefully removed the condom, then slid off the bed to throw it into the bin.
Cole stretched out his limbs as he waited for Ryan to clean up and smiled as a warm body slid up next to him and curled around his back. A warm kiss dropped to the nape of his neck, fingers toying with the edge of his compression sleeve, a gentle motion, far from painful.
“That was exactly what I needed,” Ryan confessed in the space between them.
“Mm.” Cole couldn’t help but agree. “You always feel so good.”
Ryan let out a tiny sigh, dragging his fingertips along Cole’s ribs with just enough pressure so it didn’t tickle. “I wish we had time to do this more.”
“We will,” Cole said, ignoring a moment where they might have talked about making this more than it was. He wanted it. God, he wanted it, but it just wouldn’t have been fair. “Things will have to calm down eventually. And now that Adrian and Noah have been sorted…”
“Yeah,” Ryan breathed out. “I mean, there’s still going to be a hearing and everything. They have a long way to go before they can breathe easy, but you can tell they’re happier.”
“Adrian was smiling again,” Cole said.
Ryan huffed a laugh. “How could you tell?”
“I could hear it,” Cole told him. “Just like I can always hear yours.” He rolled onto his side and touched the edge of Ryan’s upturned lips to prove himself right. Ryan laughed against his fingers, his hot breath caressing his skin. “I’m just glad they get to be together. I mean, Noah having to quit his job is rubbish but…”
“Nah,” Ryan said, stopping to press a kiss to the center of Cole’s palm. “That place was horrible. They treated him like shit way before that asshole started this blackmail mess. He fought for what little he had, and they made it obvious he wasn’t ever going to get more. His commute is longer now, but I think he’ll like his new job better.”
“Then…good,” Cole said. He liked Noah a lot, liked everyone at Baum’s. They felt like the family Cole once had when he was actively working in his company, and he had missed it desperately. He wasn’t sure he’d ever find something like that here, and it killed him a little he was keeping parts of himself secret.
But what choice did he have?
“You okay?” Ryan asked.
Cole nodded and cuddled in closer. “Just a long day, and a longer week coming up. But I don’t want to think about that now. I just want to lie here with you.”
“Well that,” Ryan said, and took him by the chin to tilt his head up for the perfect kiss, “is something I can do.”
8.
Cole was pretty sure he was almost at Wes’ doorstep when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He’d put his phone on priority-only setting, which meant it was either his boss in the States or one of his superiors, so he halted Kevin and answered.
“This is Scarborough,” he said, finally not stumbling over his false surname.
“Major Price?” came Taber’s familiar voice through the speaker.
Cole felt his stomach sink. “I’m having a walk with Kevin,” he said, their code to let Taber know it wasn’t a secured location.
“I need you in my office this evening at six. Text me the address and I’ll send a car for you. There have been some developments.” All the usual good humor was stripped from Taber’s voice, and Cole felt his face go hot.
“Is everything okay?”
“Nothing to worry yourself over, Major. I’ll see you at six.”
Cole clenched his fist around the phone when the line went dead, then fired up his text and sent the address to Taber’s number. It was already half-four, which meant his relaxing barbeque at Wes and Anna’s was going to be cut short. As was his time with Ryan.
It had been two weeks since the professor had been apprehended, arrested, and charged with a couple felonies. Noah had been recovering nicely and had even joined Cole a few times during his sessions with Adrian.
Work had also been increasing for both himself and Ryan, which meant their time together had been nothing more than a few stolen moments here and there in the gym locker room when everyone else had gone. Tonight, Ryan was supposed to go home with him, and they had planned to spend Saturday together.
He wasn’t sure it was out the window yet, but it wasn’t looking good.
With a breath, he set Kevin back on the path for the door, and he heard it swing open before he could get to the bell. “You made it,” Wes said, clapping Cole on the shoulder. “Come on in, everyone’s here.”
Cole offered a tense smile. “Sorry I was late. Work ran long, then my boss phoned and said I have to go back in before six.”
“Ah shit, really?” Wes asked. He led the way, his gait slow due to his spine injury, but he walked a steadier pace than Adrian did.
Cole didn’t get a real chance to map out the house at all, but there were no obstacles in his way, and Kevin had him through each doorway and to the porch stairs without incident. From what he could tell, the party was down on the lawn, and he guessed it was a decent sized yard and likely fenced to keep Wes and Anna’s little one corralled.
“There’s a table about ten feet in front of you, and Ryan and Noah are there waiting with beers. You want one?” Wes asked.
Cole shook his head. “I’d better not.”
“Tell your boss he owes you for this,” Wes said, then gently touched Cole’s shoulder to angle him toward where Ryan and Noah were sitting.
“Hey,” Ryan said as soon as Cole was close enough. He felt a touch on his wrist, then reached for a chair, letting Kevin’s harness drop down. He sank into the seat, feeling a mixture of relieved to finally be with Ryan for a little while, and disappointment that it was going to end so soon. That was coupled with the anxiety burning low in his gut because he had a feeling whatever Taber needed to say had everything to do with Isabel and Claire.
“Alright, then?” Cole asked them.
“Doing better,” Noah said. “You look a little bummed though. Bad day?”
Cole sighed. “Just before I arrived, my boss phoned and told me I had to be back in at six.”
He felt Ryan tense next to him. “Oh. Oh, well…”
“It shouldn’t take long,” Cole said pointedly. They hadn’t gone public with their arrangement—whatever it was—but Cole knew the others weren’t thick. They’d figured it out, and Cole was merely waiting for Ryan to give the go-ahead to be more public than they were. “But I’ll probably miss most of dinner.”
“I’m going to go help Adrian with the pies,” Noah said pointedly, and Cole couldn’t hide his small grin.
“He knows,” Ryan said from behind a sigh.
Cole’s smile widened. “I’m fairly sure they all do. You’re not subtle. I’m totally blind and even I know you give me heart-eyes.”
“Oh, shut up,” Ryan said, knocking their knees together, but there was a matching grin in his own voice. “Really though, you have to go in?”
“Apparently it’s important,” Cole told him. “But I’ll text you the moment I’m finished, and you can meet me at mine, okay? I still have tomorrow off.” For the moment, he added to himself, but he didn’t want to crush their plans just yet.
“I guess I can make that work,” Ryan told him, more teasing grin in his tone.
Satisfied as he could be, Cole sat back and realized that whatever he had going on with Ryan, it wasn’t going to be over any time soon. Hell, he wasn’t interested in stopping any of it. But it did mean he was going to have to explain a few things. He would be able to keep the issue of Isabel, her husband, and Claire arriving a secret if Taber was about to tell him plans had been cancelled, but if not, Ryan would need to know Cole’s space was about to be occupied with a handful of new people.
He felt a small wave of panic rising in him, and he tried to quash it down as best he could. Telling Ryan about them was scary enough, but it had nothing on his fear of having others living in his house. He hadn’t even realized Isabel was dating anyone, let alone ready to marry, and he’d never had time to stay with his daughter longer than an extended weekend for his leave. He was barely functional now in his own space, and he couldn’t trust that Isabel and her husband would respect the way he needed things done.
He had a wild, mad idea suddenly that he should ask Ryan to stay with them. Ryan was the first and only person Cole had trusted in his private space. But he wasn’t sure how that could work. Ryan couldn’t know about Cole’s position, couldn’t know his real surname, couldn’t know what he truly did for a living. An ex-Marine freelancer was all he could offer, which was also why he could never bring himself to ask Ryan into a proper relationship. It would never be fair.
“What’s wrong?” Ryan’s quiet inquiry crashed through Cole’s swirling, anxious downward spiral, and he snapped out of it quickly.
“Sorry. Really long day,” Cole said swiftly.
Ryan sighed and he hooked his foot around Cole’s calf. “Tell me about it. Did I tell you about the fucking weirdo they hired?"
“The tall Scottish one?” Cole asked. Ryan had mentioned him once or twice but had never really gone into detail apart from how the man’s look had unnerved him.
Ryan groaned. “Yeah. McCaig. My boss gave him a couple of my lingering cases to get him started, and he just…uhg.”
