by E M Lindsey
“What sort of law do you practice again?” Cole asked, realizing they’d never really gotten into specifics, though that was his own fault. The more he prodded, the more Ryan would be willing to.
“I work mostly with family issues and domestic violence cases. Where the state decides to press charges,” Ryan told him. “Most of my work is like drunk and disorderly, few months in jail and hefty fines, but this one case…” He trailed off, then Ryan took Cole’s hand and started to stroke his fingers. A nervous habit, Cole was starting to learn. “I can’t really go into specifics, but let’s just say it’s bad. The father’s a piece of shit, the mother won’t do anything about it, and right now the kids are in state care. So this asshole comes into my office and implies that the kids were lying about what happened to them. Half our evidence is a surveillance video of the guy, and half a dozen witnesses. He makes some fucking weird crack about how kids lie, like they’ve somehow managed to fake months of evidence found on their bodies.” Ryan let out a shaky breath and pressed his thumb to the center of Cole’s wrist. “Sorry.”
Cole shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. He sounds like a fucking twat.”
That earned him a sharp burst of laughter, and Ryan shifted his chair closer, so their shoulders were pressed together. “Yeah. He’s a total fucking twat,” he mimicked Cole’s accent, which made Cole chuckle. “Anyway, then he starts getting up in my personal business, asking where I was the other night, asking if there are any foreigners at the gym. Literally, foreigners. Who talks like that?”
The comment didn’t sit well with Cole. Something about it set him on edge, and he opened his mouth to ask a little more about the guy when something small and soft touched his arm. He startled, then realized it was a hand.
“Hi,” came a soft voice.
“Hey Maggie,” Ryan said, subtly clueing Cole into who was touching him. “Are you done helping your mommy?”
“Yeah,” the little girl said. “Can I pet your dog? Is he…is he like tiyo’s dog? He’s workin?”
Cole grinned at her. “He is working, but he’s having a break right now so you can pet him if you like.”
“He’s…he’s real pretty,” she said. He felt her grab hold of one of his legs to steady herself as she gave Kevin a few strokes along his head. “Why you haff a doggie?”
Cole waited to see if Ryan meant to answer her, but when he stayed silent, Cole turned to face Maggie. “Well, you know how your uncle Adrian’s dog helps him when he feels bad?”
“Yeah,” she said, sounding a little excited. “Tiyo telled me that Lemon…she’s…she’s real smart and she helps him. She gives him hugs if he needs hugs to feel better.”
“Well Kevin is my dog, and he helps me find my way because I can’t see,” he told her.
He felt her hand move back to his arm, then without warning, she climbed into his lap. Ryan gave a muted protest, but Cole shook his head and shifted her so she rested more comfortably on his thigh.
“Maggie, you need to ask first,” Ryan chided.
“But he’s my friend,” she protested loudly.
Cole chuckled. “That’s right, and I don’t mind, but sometimes you have to tell me because I can’t see what you’re doing.”
“But why?” she demanded. Her chubby hand found his cheek, but before she could reach his eyelids, Ryan reached over and tugged her hand down. “But…”
“Maggie,” came Anna’s voice, sounding mortified. “I’m so sorry. I’d say she’s never like this, but that’s a complete lie.”
Cole smiled in Anna’s direction. “I really don’t mind. She’s only curious.”
“Mama, where his eyes haff goed?” she demanded.
“Christ,” Anna breathed out.
Cole gave her a pat on the back. “I was hurt. I was in the Marines, like your dad, and my eyes got hurt. So now I can’t see, but Kevin leads me around so I don’t bump into anything and so I don’t fall. Maybe later I can show you.”
“Okay,” she said decidedly. “I like Kevin. I could haff him when you’re done.”
“Oh my god,” Anna groaned. “Go and play please, before everyone is convinced I’m the worst mother in the world.”
Maggie happily hopped down, and Cole could hear the quiet shuffling sounds of her feet on the grass. When she was out of earshot, Anna groaned, and he heard her sink to the chair across from him.
“It really doesn’t bother me,” Cole told her with a soft smile, and he felt warmth travel up his arm when Ryan took his hand in full view of everyone.
“I know,” Anna said. “I know it’s just kid stuff, but we’re working on helping her develop some tact. Like curiosity is fine and all, but it’s not people’s jobs to explain their disability or their race or whatever to my kid. The other day I brought her into the gym and Wes was there with his new private client, Evan. Have you met him?”
Cole shook his head. “Not had the chance yet.”
“Well he’s black, and dark skinned,” Anna said. “She marches right up to him and demands to know why his skin looks like that. Obviously she didn’t mean anything by it, but for fuck’s sake, it’s like she’s trying to make me full grey before I turn forty.”
“Was he offended?” Ryan asked.
Anna snorted. “No, he laughed his ass off and then explained a little bit about different races, and about how his parents were born in Nigeria and moved here before he was born, and then he showed her Nigeria on a map. It was great, but again, not his job.”
“No,” Cole said, “it isn’t. But at least she’s asking questions and getting proper answers.” He had no idea if the same had been done for his own daughter. Had Isabel allowed her curiosity, or had she just been told not to stare and shuffled off. How would it be when she saw him for the first time looking like this?
He pushed the thoughts aside when his phone buzzed, and he realized his car was there. “I have to go,” he said, his reluctance plain in his tone.
“Seriously?” Anna demanded.
“His boss is a dick, but we’ve come to terms with it,” Ryan said.
“Fine. Go walk your boy out and get yourself a nice smooch before he takes off,” Anna said.
Ryan’s hand stiffened in his, then he sighed. “Yeah…fine. Whatever.”
Cole tried not to consider it too much of a triumph, but his day had been tough enough that Ryan admitting it aloud in front of their friends felt good. Being acknowledged, even if it wasn’t anything deeper than lovers who couldn’t give more to each other.
He gathered Kevin’s harness, then said a quick goodbye to everyone before heading out front. “Looks like an uber,” Ryan said, stopping him at the end of the driveway. “He can wait a second. Anna wasn’t wrong about the kissing. Just in case I won’t see you tonight.”
Cole wanted to make promises, but he refused. He had no idea what Taber needed, so instead of trying to offer Ryan something he might not be able to follow through with, he reached for him, drew him in, and kissed him for all he was worth.
***
“I’m thinking it’s time for a beer run,” Adrian said about an hour after Cole had gone. He put one hand on the side of Noah’s neck, leaning in to kiss him, and Ryan felt warmth at the sight instead of gnawing jealousy. He watched at Noah turned his face up to the kiss, and briefly he thought about Cole’s lips on his, the way they lingered, the way his hands moved on his skin trying to touch him all over.
It had only been a few weeks, but those few weeks put into perspective how quickly Noah had fallen for Adrian, and ensured Ryan properly felt his guilt for questioning his best friend on how fast he’d jumped in. They weren’t in love or anything like that, hell, they weren’t even in a relationship. But already, Ryan couldn’t imagine his life without Cole in it.
He was on the precipice of something drastic—of taking a step he hadn’t taken in over a decade.
“I’ll go,” he offered. “Noah, you want to ride with me?”
Noah smiled and reached for his phone. “Ye
ah, why not. You want anything else?” he asked his boyfriend.
Adrian shook his head. “Nothing I can think of. I’ll check with Anna and Wes and see if they’re good, and I’ll text you.”
Ryan led the way out to his car, checking his phone before opening his door in hopes there would be a text waiting for him. It was just past seven, so he wasn’t expecting anything yet, but he wanted. He’d been looking forward to the weekend with Cole more than he could describe in words, and the thought of it being threatened by Cole’s work was gutting.
“You good?” Noah asked, and Ryan realized he’d been lingering too long.
“Yeah,” he said. He slid behind the wheel and didn’t say anything as they headed out onto the main road.
Five minutes into the drive, Noah let out a tiny sigh. “So, you’re really going to make me ask?”
Ryan glanced over, giving him a flat look. “Ask about what?” Though he knew damn well what.
Noah shook his head. “Fine. You and Cole. Obviously you two are fucking, but it’s something more now, isn’t it?”
Ryan clenched his jaw. “You know me, Noah. I don’t do relationships.”
“You didn’t do relationships,” Noah corrected. “Something changed.”
Licking his lips, Ryan put all his focus into pulling the car into the parking lot of the supermarket and finding a decent spot. When he felt Noah’s gaze on him, he let his hands fall from the wheel and laid his head back against the headrest. “I don’t know what I’m feeling. He and I agreed that relationships were complicated and neither one of us could afford that right now.”
“But,” Noah pressed.
Ryan dragged a hand down his face. “But I didn’t expect to feel this way, and I’m terrified.”
Noah frowned, reaching for Ryan’s hand, and he squeezed it gently. “I know trusting someone else is not easy, Ry.”
“It’s not him,” Ryan said, his tone a little more harsh than he intended. “Cole’s amazing. I don’t trust myself. I fucked up so badly with you, and I couldn’t handle doing that to him.”
Noah let out a frustrated sigh. “You were barely an adult, Ryan. The both of us had no business moving in together and trying to play at husbands when we didn’t even know what the fuck being in love was about. We made mistakes and yeah, it sucked, but what’s the point if you can’t move on?”
Ryan squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s just…I like him more than I expected to, and he has so much faith in me for some fucking reason.”
“Because you earned it,” Noah pointed out, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.
Ryan thinned his lips. “Even the good ones fuck it all up, Noah. Look at Rhys. He’s one of the best people I’ve ever known and even his marriage didn’t work out.”
Noah let out a tiny, somewhat harsh laugh. “Vanessa was cheating on him,” he reminded Ryan. “And not in that immature, panicked way you made your mistake. She had been sleeping around since they first met. Even Saint Rhys can’t make something like that hold together. And I bet if you told him any of this, he’d slap you in the face for being a fucking moron.”
Ryan felt his cheeks go hot. “You’d better not say a goddamn word to him,” he warned.
Noah laughed. “When will I even see him? He’s been traveling for months.”
Ryan felt a surge of guilt when he realized he hadn’t told Noah that Rhys was back and had started taking cases again. But it was easier since Rhys was dealing with Trevor’s case, and neither of them could say anything about it until Charlie had been sentenced. “He’s actually here,” he confessed. “He was back a few weeks ago, but he’s been pretty swamped. I figured we’d all get together when things chill out.”
Luckily Noah didn’t seem bothered. Instead he motioned for Ryan to get out of the car, and they walked into the store together to grab what they needed to replenish the party’s stock of booze and movie snacks. Adrian hadn’t sent a text, so they were just coming out of the crackers and popcorn aisle when Ryan spotted a tall, gaunt form and froze.
His heart thudded in his chest, even as McCaig gave him a sickly-sweet grin, and he felt Noah shift closer to him. “Fancy meeting you here,” McCaig said. “Is this your boyfriend?”
Ryan felt the urge to say yes, to put his arm around Noah and hold him close against this man. Whatever it was, whatever menacing feeling he got from him, he was sure he wasn’t imagining it. Still, he knew he had no reason to behave this way, so he kept his hand clutching the handle of their basket. “This is my best friend, Noah. Noah, this is Christopher McCaig, new hire down at the office.”
McCaig offered his long-fingered hand, and Ryan felt a little vindicated when he saw Noah hesitate before taking it. “Please,” he drawled, “call me Chris.”
Noah gave him a thin-lipped smile and nodded. “Nice to meet you, Chris. I don’t often get to meet Ryan’s co-workers.”
“Well, and hopefully friend, some day,” McCaig said.
Not on your fucking life, Ryan thought, but he managed a tight smile anyway. “Well, we should head off. We’re just on a quick run for a get-together with some friends.”
“From the boxing studio?” McCaig asked, a little glint in his eye.
Ryan bristled. “The owners.”
McCaig gave a curious hum, then said, “I dinnae want to keep you. I’m just stocking up for some guests I have coming in from England. They should be arriving in a few days, and it’s a little hard to acclimate to a brand-new country.”
Ryan frowned, but nodded. “Well, feel free to hit me up if you need some tourist ideas. There’s a ton of places around here they’d probably enjoy.”
“I will,” McCaig said, sounding far too pleased. “Ta, Ryan.”
Ryan reached for Noah’s arm and tugged him along. Neither of them said a word until they were through the self-check out and walking back to the car with their bags on their arms.
“Wow, you work with that guy?” Noah asked, his eyes both wide.
Ryan shuddered as he pushed the button to switch on the car. “Yeah, unfortunately I do. There’s something about him, too. I can’t put my finger on it, but he seems…”
“Like a serial killer?” Noah asked. “I mean, he’s creepy looking, but his eyes aren’t normal. You know I don’t buy into that paranormal shit, but I’d say demon if I did.”
Ryan snorted a laugh and pulled out onto the street. “Who the fuck knows. I just hope he stays away from me.”
***
“I’m as frustrated as you are,” Taber was saying, though Cole was struggling to pay attention through the depth of his fury. “The man they’ve taken into custody doesn’t seem to know anything about who hired him. The only intelligence we have so far is that The Veil is a man, and that he’s able to pass as at least six different nationalities—all of them Western European. We can’t assume that means he looks anything like it, however.”
Not that it would matter to me, Cole thought bitterly. The man could be in the room now, staring him in the face, and he wouldn’t know it. “And you really think the best course of action is to bring them here next week?”
Cole as doing his best to come to terms with the abstract date now having something more concrete. Wednesday, as it were. Wednesday he was expected to compromise every sense of his own peace and progress because of Isabel’s demands.
“It’s not about what I think,” Taber said diplomatically.
Cole snorted an angry laugh. “Of course it isn’t. You do realize I’m only months out of full rehab. I’m still in outpatient therapy, still learning to cope with this,” he gestured toward his empty sockets. “I’m just able to get to the fucking loo and back without bashing my shin—hell I’m bruised there as we speak because I misjudged my coffee table last night. Do you understand the effort and the dedication it takes for me to function in my own home?” Now that the words were coming, he found them nearly impossible to stop. Emotions he’d been keeping down were bubbling to the surface and the room felt hot. He felt suddenly panicked by
the idea that he didn’t have eyes to be able to tell where the walls were, how close the quarters were to his person.
A touch on his arm grounded him, and he was able to breathe again. “Did you speak to your superiors about this at all?”
Cole let out another bitter laugh. “D’you think they asked? I got one three-minute phone call explaining what I was meant to do—which was nothing apart from house them and not tell anyone about it. I have friends—American ex-military friends—who are going to ask questions, and they simply told me to cope until they could come to a resolution.”
Taber’s own breath was frustrated. “You know this is above my head, don’t you? I wouldn’t willingly put you in this position if I had any choice.”
Cole didn’t know that he trusted this man’s word on any of it. Taber had always taken his side, always had his back, but he had a personal stake in this whole business. “I’ve come to terms with not having a choice in the matter, but I want to make it known that I think this is a terrible idea.”
“I can’t argue there, but I will do whatever you need me to, so their stay isn’t a huge inconvenience.”
Cole couldn’t come up with anything right then, however. How the stay went was nothing more than a simple hypothesis based on the time he had known Isabel. She was headstrong, beautiful, clever, and a little mean. She was turning to him for protection, and he wasn’t sure why, but he was hoping it wasn’t out of some desire to solidify his daughter’s fear of him.
There was one request he could make, one that Taber didn’t necessarily have the authority to grant, but Cole knew he was going to do it anyway. “I’ve been seeing someone recently and I need to tell him they’re staying with me. He knows about Claire already, and I can come up with a cover, but I can’t hide this and I’m not willing to end things.”
He heard Taber give a thoughtful hum, then he said, “If you can protect the classified information, I don’t think you need to justify your need to tell people about your daughter or your ex. It’s not like you’re in witness protection or anything.”
