The Other Side Of the Game

by Anita Doreen Diggs

  And Josephine? She and I have plans to quit the police force and open up a weekend spiritual retreat for women in upstate New York. But every time we get ready to file for incorporation and move forward, her husband convinces her to wait. I listen to her complain endlessly about how tired she is of him holding us back. Then she’ll stiffen her backbone and promise me that we’re really going to do it. Next month. He drags around looking sad for a few days and when that doesn’t work, he becomes mean and starts nitpicking at everything she does until her migraines start up again. This has been going on for over a year. I’m beginning to think that I should just start the retreat by myself but Josephine and I have been friends since high school and I don’t want to alienate her.

  Today I wrote an advertisement for what should be our first program:

  Real Life Retreat Center, Irvington, New York

  Ever feel like you aren’t living for yourself? Just going along with someone else’s program? Living by someone else’s standards? Traveling on someone else’s schedule? It isn’t too late to turn your life around. Wake up! Take a few baby steps toward living the life you want to have. During this weekend, we will unpack some of your old dreams and look at what you’d really like to do with your life. We will visualize a happier life for you and explore ways for you to get it. It’s not too late if you start right now. Cost: $495.

  Mama can’t get the butcher to commit to simply being her boyfriend. Josephine can’t get her husband to leave her alone long enough for us to find out if our idea has merit. Why should I listen to either one of them and start nagging Phil about a wedding date?

  Chapter 6

  SAUNDRA

  Medical studies have proved that vegans are up to 40 percent less likely to die of cancer and 30 percent less likely to get heart disease. We are also less prone to high blood pressure and diabetes. This is one reason why Yero, Evelyn, and I don’t eat flesh. The other reason is that veganism is not just a diet but an attitude of reverence for the sanctity of life. It is a spiritual appreciation and acknowledgement of all God’s creatures.

  So the three of us are having veggie burgers and vegan pizza for dinner.

  I was chopping up the green peppers, celery, pecans and parsley. Yero was mashing the chickpeas and Evelyn was spreading the vegan pizza dough when Daddy walked in with his friend, Hugo.

  Hugo Montana is a Latino officer who has been Daddy’s best friend for as long as I could remember.

  The two big detectives greeted us cheerfully and then unpacked a box of Popeye’s fried chicken and a tub of mashed potatoes covered with gravy. Dad grabbed two beers from the refrigerator and they tore into the meal like they’d never eaten before.

  Evelyn, who was wearing a gorgeous yellow caftan and matching headwrap, had been singing as she prepared the pizza. Now she was quiet and a frown creased her forehead.

  “Don’t worry, Evelyn,” I said loudly. “Daddy is beginning to see the error of his ways. He won’t be eating that junk much longer. The other day I caught him drinking some of my soy milk.”

  “I had already poured my coffee,” Daddy replied. “There was no other milk in the house.”

  Hugo munched a drumstick. “Leave us in peace, chica. We’ve just had a rough eight hours. First, we had to arrest a woman just so she’d tell us where her murdering brother was hiding, but then when we got to the address she gave us, he was already on a plane to the Dominican Republic. Now we’ll have to do a whole bunch of paperwork to get him back to the United States. What makes it so bad is that both he and Beany Cruz put together ain’t worth the price of a postage stamp.

  “Who is Beany Cruz?” asked Yero.

  “The dead guy.” Hugo shrugged. “Some penny ante crack dealer.”

  “That was just this morning’s work,” groused Phil.

  Hugo nodded. “After that, we get another call. This guy beat his grandmother to death with a candlestick holder. He gets down to the precinct and starts playing like he’s crazy. Only we know he ain’t crazy. Then, when that didn’t work, he tells us he didn’t do it. That he has a violent twin brother who hated the old lady. So we go back to the block and talk to the neighbors again. They look at us like we been smokin’ angel dust or something. Then we get it. There ain’t no twin brother. In fact, there ain’t no other family around at all. So then your daddy got mad and when we got back down to the station, I had to keep him from killing that fool.”

  Yero had stopped mashing the chickpeas. He loves cop stories. “Then what happened?”

  “We booked the fool and threw him in jail.”

  Daddy grinned at Yero. “Why don’t you take the officer’s exam, man? Quit fooling around. You know that’s what you really want to do.”

  “No, he doesn’t,” Evelyn said. “It’s just like in the old days when the lives of proper ladies were very structured and stultifying; they were always willing to listen to stories of what they called fallen women. Of course, they pretended to shake their heads in disgust, but the tales really added some color to their dreary lives.”

  Yero pretended to be hurt. “What are you saying? That my life is dreary?”

  Evelyn laughed and patted him on the back. “Of course not, honey. I just meant that you sell stamps all day and uh . . .”

  I laughed. “Evelyn, why don’t you quit while you’re ahead.”

  Yero went back to mashing the chickpeas as we all chuckled.

  Hugo pointed a fork in my direction. “So, chica, I hear you’re going to be a bride. Is that true?”

  Evelyn answered for me. “Saundra is going to be the most gorgeous bride in the history of brides. I’ve been waiting for this wedding for a long time.”

  She and daddy locked eyes and I could feel the negative energy.

  I hurried to cover the silence. “Are you coming to my wedding, Hugo?”

  “If I’m invited.”

  “Of course you’re invited. Don’t be silly.”

  “Can I have the first dance?”

  “No, my first dance will be with Yero.”

  He continued to tease me. “What about the second dance?”

  “Sorry. That one belongs to Daddy.”

  Hugo sighed and took a long swig of beer.

  “This wedding is going to cost me a pretty penny,” Daddy said. “Have you two found a church yet?”

  “We’re getting married in Central Park,” answered Yero. “Churches make some people feel uncomfortable. We have friends who believe in a higher power but it isn’t always a Christian God.”

  Daddy was about to say something but Evelyn gave him a leave the kids alone stare.

  “What about the party? Where is that going to be?”

  “Daddy, we found one place over near Jamaica Estates. It’s called The Crystal Palace. It is really beautiful but they want too much money, so we’re still searching.”

  Hugo shrugged. “How much?”

  “Two hundred fifty dollars per person.”

  “Ay, Dios mio!”

  Daddy went to the refrigerator and got another beer. “Humph! Oh, my God in Spanish isn’t enough. You need to say it in Italian, German, Hungarian and Yiddish. Two hundred fifty dollars per person! Are they crazy? Does that include an open bar all night with premium brand liquor? What type of food do they serve for that kind of money?”

  Yero cleared his throat. “Phil, we’re not planning to serve any alcoholic beverages at the reception.”

  “I’m expected to shell out two hundred fifty dollars per person and sit there stone cold sober?”

  “Get a grip, Phil,” said Evelyn. “Saundra has already said that it is too expensive and they’re looking at other places.”

  “Yeah, Daddy. Calm down.”

  Evelyn added coarse salt and Roma tomatoes to the vegan pizza dough. She looked very unhappy and I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her. We should all be planning her wedding to Daddy. She still lived with her mother on Long Island. Daddy lived in a three-bedroom house with me in Queens. The two of them must have had sex
at hotels because she was never in his bed here and this whole silly mess had been going on for six years.

  What on earth was she getting out of the relationship? Why didn’t she just end it?

  How could Daddy be so wonderful with one female (me) and so self-centered and callous with another (Evelyn)?

  I combined the chickpeas, pecans, bread crumbs, carrots, pepper, celery and parsley in a big bowl.

  Yero and I dug our hands into the mixture, smiled at each other and started making patties.

  Chapter 7

  ASHA

  Nick Seabrook was in town!

  He called me at work and asked me out to dinner, but I had a far more exciting idea. I was going to drive him crazy.

  Nick was the gorgeous twenty-six-years-young playboy heir to a chain of soul food restaurants that his parents built from scratch. Seabrook’s Soul Food had an outlet in every major city except New York. He had an MBA from the Wharton School of Business and spent most of his time traveling cross-country checking up on the managers who were in charge of the day-to-day operations of each establishment. I had no idea why Nick kept a condominium in New York since he usually stayed with me. Every time I asked him, he said that he wants to marry me someday and we’ll live there. I know he is only teasing about that, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not marrying anybody. Ever. I love my life just the way it is.

  There is a four-star Italian restaurant about three blocks away from my apartment. Normally, they don’t offer take-out service but I spend so much money there, I was able to convince the owner that sending a feast for two up to my place was good for future business.

  Once my dining room table (which seats eight) was set with fine white linen, heavy silverware, delicate china, Waterford crystal glasses, and two red candles, it was time for me to get dressed.

  By the time I opened the door to let him in, I was wearing a waist-length, shiny black wig with a center part, false eyelashes, red lipstick, a red miniskirt with no panties on underneath, red stiletto heels, and my only top was a red silk, see-through bra.

  Nick’s lips parted in a great big smile and seeing the sexy gap between his two front teeth made me want to hit my knees and blow him right then and there. But that would have spoiled my plan.

  His eyes rested on my nipples and a “Wow!” escaped his juicy lips.

  He reached out to grab me but I wriggled away and gave him a chaste kiss on one cheek. “Nick! How delightful to see you. Please hang up your coat and make yourself comfortable. Dinner will be ready in a moment.”

  It was hard for me to keep a straight face as I marched demurely toward the kitchen like a housewife in a 1950s television show.

  I was pulling the heated veal parmigiana from the stove when Nick came up behind me. His erection pressed against my ass and made me shiver. I almost dropped the veal. One strong arm held me by the waist while he used his other hand to go up under the tiny skirt.

  “Forget the food, baby,” he whispered into my ear.

  I slapped his hands and arms away. “Nick. I’ve got a four-course meal here and I’d really appreciate it if we could enjoy the food while catching up on each other’s lives.”

  “Why is it so quiet in here?” Normally my place is alive with music.

  “I didn’t want any noise to interfere with our elegant dinner conversation.”

  He took a step back and smiled. “What kind of game are you playing, Asha?”

  I handed him a platter of calamari and tried to look innocent. “Why, whatever do you mean, Nick? I am a lady having a gentleman over for dinner. Now, would you please help me out here?”

  “Baby, if you want me to sit through a four-course meal, you’re going to have to change that outfit.”

  I ignored the suggestion and tried not to giggle.

  Pour the water. Fill the wineglasses. Load up our plates with calamari and antipasto. Sit down and take a bite.

  He watched every move I made with a hunger in his eyes that made me yearn for him like I never had before. My fork clicked back and forth against the plate. He didn’t move. He didn’t say a word.

  “Aren’t you going to eat, honey? It really is delicious.”

  “Okay, Asha. I’ll play along.”

  “So, how is the restaurant business?”

  Nick swallowed one piece of calamari. “Business is booming, Asha. Now, I’ve finished my appetizer. What’s the next course?”

  He didn’t even chew it! I had planned to march him through the appetizer, then some bread and cheese with the veal as the third course and me as the fourth. But if he was going to throw whole chunks of food down his throat, we’d end up in St. Vincent’s hospital’s emergency room instead of my big round bed.

  “It’s a delicious new bread and there are three different kinds of cheese.”

  We had been sitting at opposite ends of the long table. Now, he picked up his plate and came over to sit beside me.

  “I’ve missed you, Asha.”

  “How sweet!”

  He started to say something else and then stopped.

  “Nick, you’re always doing that. Please say whatever it was that you started to say.”

  He cleared his throat. “There is something but it has to wait for the right day and the right time.”

  “Why? Are you getting married or something? You can tell me, I won’t get mad.”

  He looked at me with a very queer expression on his face. “I know you won’t.”

  “Well, are you?”

  “What?”

  “Getting married?”

  “No, I’m not. Let’s change the subject, okay?”

  For some strange reason, I felt better knowing that Nick wasn’t getting ready to tie the knot. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

  “I brought you something.”

  “What?”

  “A present.”

  Music to my ears. The last present Nick bought me was a silver STS V8 Cadillac with a Bose 5.1 studio surround sound system. I kept it in a garage on 45th Street.

  “Where is it?”

  “In my coat pocket.”

  “That’s nice,” I replied coolly. “It can wait until after dessert.”

  He groaned and placed a hand on my thigh. “Asha, please. Stop it.” There were beads of sweat on his forehead

  “Oh, all right. We can skip the bread and cheese.”

  Nick paused for a moment, gave me a wicked grin and left the room. When he came back, there was a long slender box in his hand.

  He placed it in front of my plate but didn’t sit back down.

  As I ripped off the heavy pink wrapping, he started to strip. By the time I lifted my new diamond necklace from the silk-lined box, Nick’s shirt had dropped to the floor and his belt was unbuckled. I couldn’t take my own game anymore.

  The heat in the room suddenly reached a thousand degrees and I was on my knees unzipping his pants before he had time to make another move.

  Chapter 8

  SAUNDRA

  Most shampoos contain sodium lauryl sulfate, a chemical that has cancer causing properties. That is why I use honeysuckle rose shampoo. It doesn’t create any kind of lather or suds but at least it doesn’t endanger my health.

  With my hair still wet I sat on the floor in my room for Evelyn to towel it dry and oil my locks.

  “We need to order invitations and put together a guest list,” Evelyn said. She made this announcement right out of the blue as though we had been having a discussion about my wedding. We’d known each other long enough for me to understand that she had been busy in a spirited interior monologue while I was in the shower.

  Yero and Evelyn both came from huge families while I only had Asha and a few friends. “Would you like to invite your kinfolk?” I asked.

  “Just my mother if you don’t mind, sweetheart.”

  “Of course I don’t.”

  I knew that what Evelyn really wanted was an invitation to help me with every detail of my upcoming nuptials, but it was something I
really wanted to do with Asha and I didn’t know how to say so without hurting her feelings. So I just quietly looked at the dozens of blown-up pictures that covered my walls. Mama was in every single one of them.

  “Sweetheart, are you sure you don’t want to get in touch with them?”

  Them. Mama’s family. The clan who had turned their collective backs on Mama long ago because she refused to give up on Asha’s drug addicted father. The clan who had come to her funeral, offered me and Asha a home, and then dismissed us when I decided to move in with my own father and Asha decided to keep our old apartment to remain independent.

  “No. Something might go wrong. It is supposed to be the happiest day of my life and I won’t let anyone take that away from me.”

  Evelyn stood up for a moment to adjust the chair she was sitting in. “How about an engagement party? We could have them all over for a two-hour affair so they can meet Yero. Any issues that come up would be dealt with there, and then everyone would be calm on your wedding day.”

  “Evelyn, it’s not like Asha and I were accustomed to being around them when Mama was alive. It would be more of a getting-to-know-each-other gathering than an actual reunion.”

  “So, what’s wrong with that?” Evelyn asked calmly.

  Evelyn started parting my locks in small sections, oiling the scalp as she went. “I just don’t have the energy.”

  “If everything goes well then the children you have with Yero will have a nice extended family to love them. Children can never get enough love.”

  “I’m sorry, Evelyn, but if Mama was alive, she wouldn’t go running after them. I don’t want to either and Asha will hit the ceiling if I even suggest it.”