The Other Side Of the Game

by Anita Doreen Diggs

  I told Daddy about Asha’s latest adventure over breakfast one morning.

  “I’m so afraid that one of these men is going to hurt her.”

  Daddy took a bite of his buttered toast and chewed it thoughtfully before answering. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Someday she’ll meet the right guy and change so fast it’ll take your breath away.”

  Since I’d totally given up on the engagement party idea, the tension had been erased between me and Daddy.

  “But in the meantime . . .” I persisted.

  He shrugged. “Just keep praying for her.”

  I nodded and scooped up a melon ball.

  Daddy grinned mischievously. “Hugo and I bought you a wedding present.”

  “So soon? What is it?”

  “Remember that reception hall you crossed off your list because it was too expensive?”

  Yero and I had checked it out a week ago. It cost $250 per person.

  “The Crystal Palace?” I whispered.

  “Yup!”

  “Oh, Daddy, you shouldn’t have. That’s way too much money.”

  “Hugo and I are going to split it. So it’s all yours, sweetheart. We paid for one hundred people and an open bar. What do you think of that?” He grinned broadly, looking very pleased with himself.

  I rushed around the table, grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him squarely on the forehead. “I think you’re the most wonderful father in the world.”

  Daddy coughed to hide his emotion. “Go on now! Call Hugo and thank him, too!”

  Chapter 24

  PHIL

  The last thing I needed was a fight with Hugo, but he had been sulking around all week and by Saturday afternoon, it was clear to me that he needed to have his say. Hugo was cleaning his already spotless studio apartment while I sat on his turquoise sofa and played a game of solitaire on the heart-shaped glass coffee table.

  “When Saundra called to thank me for chipping in on that reception hall, I almost told her the truth myself,” Hugo ranted. “This situation has been way out of hand for years but now you’re headed for disaster.”

  I flipped over a card. It was the queen of spades. I had been hoping for a king of diamonds. “Damn!”

  Hugo sprayed glass cleaner all over one of his mirrored walls and started rubbing it vigorously with a balled up piece of newspaper. “The Crystal Palace. Saundra’s boutique. Evelyn’s retreat. Where is all this money supposed to come from?”

  “I haven’t said anything to Evelyn yet.”

  “But we both know that you’re going to spring that wonderful surprise on her any day now. You are going to tell her that you’ll pay for half of what she needs to open that retreat, won’t you Phil?”

  “Don’t worry about it. That won’t come out of your pocket.”

  “You goddamn right, it won’t. We’ve been friends a long time, Phil, but your plan is stupid and it won’t work. So, I’m pulling out of it. The Crystal Palace is the last straw. It’s where I draw the line.”

  I was beginning to get heated. “Cut it, Hugo.”

  “You can go into debt all you want and spread around all the money you want and in the end, the shit is still going to hit the fan. Why can’t you see that?”

  I responded to that by sweeping up the cards, shuffling them hard and starting a new game.

  Hugo continued his tirade as I tuned him out and dealt myself seven cards. By the time I flipped over three kings, he had pulled out the vacuum cleaner and turned it on. The noise really fucked with my concentration. He pushed the machine back and forth across the squeaky clean carpet. He was waiting for me to blow up and start yelling. It was this type of shit that caused a good percentage of the domestic violence cases and dead bodies that I had come across in my career.

  In fact, it was probably some silly incident like this that caused old man Willis to hit his wife in the face with a heavy ashtray back when I was a kid growing up in Dayton, Ohio. She came screaming over to our house with blood streaming from her nose. Mom couldn’t believe that the mild mannered janitor who worked side by side with Dad at our elementary school could suddenly explode in violence. While Mom put ice on Mrs. Willis’s nose, she issued a command to Dad, who was standing there, his mouth open in shock.

  “Maxwell, go across the street and see if old man Willis done lost his mind.”

  Dad’s jaw finally started working. “Clara, I ain’t going nowhere up in nobody else’s business. If you want me to call the cops, fine. They get paid to go ask him questions. I don’t.”

  All the commotion had awakened my three little brothers—Elwood, David, and Buster. Our little family stood on the porch and watched as old man Willis went off to jail and his wife was taken to the hospital.

  I hadn’t seen my family in a long, long time. The thought made a lump rise up in my throat and I needed Hugo to stop vacuuming and take my mind off them.

  “You working tonight?” I yelled above the racket.

  He switched off the vacuum cleaner. “Yes.”

  “Today is Evelyn’s birthday. Her mama is doing a little party thing for her tonight. I’m taking Saundra with me.”

  Hugo could read the change in my demeanor. “What’s wrong?”

  “Aw . . . nothing . . . just thinking about Dayton.”

  “That’s been happening a lot lately.”

  “Yeah. I just keep thinking that Saundra is getting married and they should be at the wedding.”

  Hugo sat down beside me. “Send them an invitation.”

  “Yeah. Right.”

  We both knew that was a terrible idea.

  “I’m serious, Phil.”

  “And how am I supposed to explain them to Saundra?”

  I had told Saundra’s mother that I was an orphan and never bothered to correct the lie with my daughter.

  “You’re caught in a web of lies, Phil,” Hugo said gently. “I’m really sorry for you, my friend.”

  “Maybe telling Saundra about my family is the way to start when I finally tell her the secret.”

  Hugo’s dark eyes filled with sadness. “You wonder if she’ll feel sorry enough for you about the family thing that she will forgive the rest. Guess what, old buddy? She won’t.”

  I swept the cards off the table and sank back against the pillows.

  Chapter 25

  EVELYN

  Saundra and I have a great relationship. Hugo says that I’ve modeled her in my own image but, if that is true, I didn’t do it deliberately. She was searching for a mother figure when we met. All I did was just be myself. Share my views with her. I’m genuinely flattered that she liked me enough to embrace a holistic lifestyle for herself. I guess Saundra has become the daughter that I will never have. Somewhere after the misery of my own first pregnancy, I decided that I would never try again. Not because I don’t like small children. It’s probably because I joined the police force. Even though female officers rarely get killed in the line of duty, why take the chance on leaving an orphan behind for my mother to care for?

  It’s interesting that Phil hasn’t changed one bit since the day we met. He never stopped eating meat. Never stopped drinking. Never got into yoga. Never started meditating, and has absolutely no patience with what he calls “new age nonsense.” But what would have been the point of leaving him? It’s not like there is a surplus of African-American men who don’t mind being in a relationship with a woman who carries a pistol and studies Eastern philosophy.

  I’ve often wondered why he has stayed with me for so long but that is not a smart question to ask a mate. I just chalk it all up to “opposites attract” and enjoy the time we spend together.

  Sex is the only area of our relationship where Phil was totally open to my viewpoint. Sex and money cause most of the world’s problems and I had to be totally honest about how firmly I believe this. When we first met, I told him that sex should not be the glue that holds a relationship together. He agreed with me that we should abstain from intercourse with each other for months at
a time to make sure that we genuinely loved, respected, and cherished each other as human beings.

  Sometimes, he takes the abstaining from sex thing too far. Tonight is an example. There are certain days of the year that no woman should have to ask for what she needs. It is my birthday but he is bringing Saundra with him to the celebration. What he should do is leave her back at the house with Yero, then spend time with my family and friends and whisk me out of here to a nice hotel right after I blow out the candles on my birthday cake. I mean, come on!

  When Phil and Saundra pulled up in the driveway, my little party was in full swing. Mama had decorated our little home in purple. Purple crepe paper streamers. Purple balloons. A purple piñata. Purple party hats. Purple plates and cups. Even purple noisemakers. Josephine, her husband Charles and their two boys had joined us along with Mama’s “friend” Tim from the butcher shop. We were eating pasta, sipping apple juice and moving our bodies to the music from a jazz CD.

  Mama opened the front door and Phil lifted her right off the floor and swung her around. She playfully swatted him on his big bear chest and demanded to be put down. He and Saundra were bearing gifts. Boxes decorated in purple paper.

  Phil looked a little sad and I made a mental note to question him about it some other time. He definitely worked too hard and I’d be happy when Saundra’s wedding was over so he wouldn’t have to pull so many double shifts. Saundra, as always, was sweet and cheerful.

  Phil sat down beside me and whispered, “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” into my ear as the others laughed and joked with each other.

  I squeezed his hand. “Thanks. Are you hungry?”

  “Starved.”

  In the kitchen, I was fixing him a plate of food when I heard Phil mention the retreat.

  Charles voice was loud and firm. “These women of ours just can’t be satisfied with what they have.”

  Phil started laughing. “Oh, don’t sweat it, man. They’re going to do a great job. In fact, we men should be grateful. Women go up to their place, chill out and come home happy. No attitudes. No slammed doors. I tell you, it’s a blessing.”

  “Come on, brother! How long do you think this thing will last?”

  I made a plate for Saundra, too.

  “It’ll be a huge success!”

  Charles sounded annoyed. “Well, maybe Evelyn has money to burn but I certainly don’t. I told Josephine last night that she’s going to have to put this dream on the back burner for a while.”

  He what? And when was Josephine planning to tell me?

  I put a smile on my face and swept back into the living room, handing out plates like I was dispensing gold bars.

  Josephine avoided my eyes and, for the next hour, I had to party like nothing was wrong. Finally, it was time for the Happy Birthday song. Then I took a deep breath, wished for inner peace, and blew out every candle on the first try.

  Chapter 26

  ASHA

  I had never wanted a dog in the first place so Peaches had to go. I dropped him off at the dog pound one morning on my way to work and promptly erased him from my brain.

  Just when Randy finally stopped calling me, I had to call him. I forgot that I lent him my mother’s prized autographed copy of Miles Davis’s Kind Of Blue album.

  Saundra would have never forgiven me for losing it.

  It was a nerve-popping day at the office because many executives were out and that meant more work for everyone else. My mood was so pissy when I came home that I had to drink a cocktail before calling to track down the album.

  When I finally picked up the receiver to dial Randy, I took a deep breath and then forced myself to punch the numbers. With every ring of his phone, my nerves felt tighter and tighter.

  “Yes?” A woman’s voice answered softly.

  Oh, Mr. Randy sure recovered fast. But then again, he probably had this chick on the side the whole time.

  “May I speak to Randy Thompson please?” I said, trying to sound like it was a business call. She paused for a long time. Uh-oh I thought to myself; she’s probably going to start that “my man” shit.

  “I’m sorry to tell you this but Randy died yesterday,” she said with increasing emotion.

  “Excuse me?” I asked, not believing what I heard.

  “Randy was found in his apartment by the landlord.”

  My heartbeat had gradually increased in speed and now it was thundering relentlessly in my chest. My mouth was drying up and I knew I had to say something before all the moisture disappeared.

  “How . . . What . . . Oh, my God,” I stuttered putting my hand over my mouth.

  “His neighbor said Randy had his music blaring and he called the landlord to complain. Randy never played his music that loud and then . . .”

  The woman began to cry and I had a lump in my throat the size of an apple. The shock of this news left me temporarily mute and I waited helplessly for her to finish her story.

  “He had a heart attack. He was found slumped over on the toilet with liquor bottles everywhere. My poor cousin,” she said, breaking down into a long sob.

  The phone felt like a barbell in my hand and I struggled desperately to keep the weight near my ear. The weakness in my upper body quickly spread like a virus to my legs and I knew if I tried to stand I’d buckle like a newborn fawn. I parted my dry lips in an attempt to speak.

  “Oh . . . noooo.”

  “I can’t believe it either; he had everything going for himself. Are you a friend of his?” she asked, sniveling after every word.

  “Yes, I . . . I . . . just can’t . . .” I mumbled.

  “I know, dear; it’s a hard time for all of us; but the Lord will pull us through. Let me have your name and number so that I can inform you of the funeral arrangements. By the way, I’m his cousin Dorothy Jenkins. I will be arranging everything because his mother is overcome with grief.”

  When she mentioned a funeral, my body froze and I felt a chill run down my spine.

  “Nice to meet you ma’am. . . .”

  “Ma’am? I’m not that old, sweetie,” she said with a weak chuckle.

  I could do nothing but stare into space.

  “My name is Saundra Patterson,” I lied, trying to sound calm.

  I gave her Saundra’s address and phone number.

  “OK dear. I’ll be in touch.”

  “Thank you and . . . I’m sorry . . .” I trailed.

  “We all are, dear, we all are. Take care.” She sighed.

  “Bye-bye,” I whispered and hung up.

  This was so unreal. I felt like a grief-stricken damsel in a made-for-TV movie. My thoughts went around in circles.

  Why would Randy’s heart just give out? It’s all my fault. Maybe if I would have let him go a little easier he wouldn’t be . . . I can’t say it. He should have just found someone else. They usually do. Oh, gosh, I gotta call Saundra first thing in the morning and tell her before that lady calls her.

  I figured that Randy had told everyone that I dumped him. I just couldn’t tell that lady my real name because I didn’t want any angry family members to kick my ass.

  His big-ass sister, Velma, was 300 pounds of black woman that I didn’t want to deal with.

  The next morning it was hard to get out of bed. I decided to take the next couple of days off to clear my head and deal with this. It didn’t matter anyway because my boss was somewhere tanning in St. Croix with his mistress. I know because we took the same “business trip” a couple of years ago. Yes, he would scream at me since our department was so short-staffed, but I’d deal with that when it happened.

  Saundra’s phone rang repeatedly and I was just about to give up when someone picked up.

  “Peace,” a male voice answered groggily.

  “Hey, Yero. Is Saundra there?”

  “Hold on,” he said with a tinge of annoyance. I heard Saundra clearing her throat.

  “Hello?” she asked with a crack in her voice.

  “It’s me, girl. I have something to tell you
,” I said.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “You’re not going to believe this but . . .”

  “Yeah . . .”

  “Randy had a heart attack,” I said, feeling weak again.

  “That’s not funny, Asha,” she said, sounding angry.

  “I’m not joking, Saundra. Randy is dead.”

  “You serious?”

  “I can’t believe it either. His cousin told me . . . and it’s all my fault,” I said with tears welling up in my eyes.

  Saundra was silent and I felt ten times worse that she didn’t dispute my last remark. As the water continued to flow down my cheeks, I could sense that Saundra’s silence showed her immense sadness and disgust for me.

  “Asha, this is terrible, but I knew one day something like this was going to happen. You use people until you’re satisfied and then dump them like trash. It was just a matter of time before disaster struck.”

  “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” I said, wiping my nose with a tissue.

  “So closing the door in someone’s face after they tell you they love you is not painful. I see,” she scoffed.

  I shut my eyes tight and frowned from the pain of hearing my crime.

  Saundra sucked her teeth and sighed heavily. “All I have to say is that if you don’t change your ways now, I don’t want to deal with you anymore because that shows you have no heart at all. Randy’s death is definitely a message for you to reevaluate yourself and clean the worms out of the pot that is your shallow little mind.”

  Normally I wouldn’t have taken that kind of abuse but I felt it was necessary; I deserved every bit of her tongue-lashing. My chest was heaving and I could hardly breathe because of the mucus in my throat.

  “I know,” I said softly.

  “Now that we’re on the subject, I think you need to come to terms with why you began acting like this in the first place. After your pregnancy and Dante’s reaction, you became a monster. I understand that it was painful but you don’t have to make others suffer because you have issues. You were such a fun and happy person before all that happened. Sometimes I see a glimpse of who you were, but it’s not too long before that selfish, ego-tripping thing reemerges.”