Willow's Wish

by TC Rybicki

  Doug would meet her halfway along the trail, and she’d spend hours at his house learning what a normal family and childhood was like. He made her fish with him and she always made him throw them back. Occasionally, if one was too good to let go, he’d say, “close your eyes, Wills. What you don’t see won’t hurt you.” Was that true? If her baby didn’t know her best friend was his or her biological father, would it hurt anyone? It wasn’t as if he wouldn’t be a presence in her child’s life just not as a regular dad.

  “What is going on in that beautiful mind, Wills?”

  “I was remembering some stuff. You’ve always taken care of me, since that first moment you took me out on the lake.”

  “Well, that’s not the best example. I got lectured by Momma and Dad for carrying a little girl into the deep part of the lake when she couldn’t even swim.”

  “You strapped me in a life jacket.”

  “Of course, I did. I couldn’t allow you to drown, not on my watch.”

  “I’ll never drown if you’re near.”

  “No. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Plus, I taught you to swim. I have a lot of confidence in your abilities.”

  “Before we move forward, there are a few things on my mind. What if I want another? Are you offering seconds and thirds? What if I meet someone, get married and have his babies? What if he wants to adopt my firstborn, your child? What if it does not happen this weekend? I mean, first tries aren’t common, are they? Are we going to start hooking up? Oh God, you were just with Maisy, that sex maniac. I can’t even imagine, nor do I want to. Let’s not forget, I’m rather inexperienced. You’ll be extremely let down, I bet.”

  He pushed his finger over her lips. “Stop. You can scratch one thing off that worry list. I quit things with Maisy weeks ago.”

  “But you made it seem like…”

  “I know. She was nuts. I don’t want any part of that. Anyway, I’m too busy, but I figure you worry less if you don’t think I’m lonely.”

  “I worry either way, but you’re right, I hate when you get so bogged down with work you have no other life. So, there’s no one special at the moment?”

  “Only you, Wills. The other women were never special to me and if it that makes me sound like a dick, then I’m a dick. It’s the truth.”

  “I feel like I’m asking more of you than I should. This goes way beyond a favor.”

  “I offered, you didn’t ask.”

  “It could get complicated.”

  “Us? Never. We will take it one day at a time, like always.”

  Willow knew the analytical answer, the one she’d come to after writing the pros and cons, as well as the what-ifs on paper. This wasn’t a good idea. She needed to turn him down, but the words never came. Instead, Willow wrapped her arms around Doug’s neck and she kissed him much like he’d kissed her earlier. Stop talking and kiss me was what her mouth demanded.

  Dutch pulled away. “One more time, are you sure?”

  Willow reached for her tank top and in one fluid motion pulled it over her head. She did not care about bras when she was with him, so she was fully exposed to her best friend for the first time. He knew now she was certain. Willow took his shirt off next. Their bodies pressed together as they tumbled over onto her bed. Sure, was such a definitive statement and Willow was hardly sure, but she was doing it, anyway. Doug was about to be her lover and possibly the father of her child. She could not help but wonder if this was their fate all along and neither one realized it.

  Willow’s 11th birthday

  It was like Doug was experiencing life through another’s eyes. Wills was in awe of every little thing. She currently tried to understand a cloth napkin. “Here. Like this. Open it and lay it across you lap.”

  “Why?”

  “Just cuz. That’s what Momma taught me. It’s in case you spill stuff off your plate.”

  “Can I keep it?”

  “Heck no, you can’t. That’s stealing.”

  “Alright, Doug. That’s enough. Let Willow look at a menu and decide what she wants for her birthday dinner.”

  Doug frowned. How would Willow decide? She said on the way over she’d never eaten Italian food. She was more excited to hear stories about the country shaped like a boot than what kind of dishes originated from there. Momma thought it was a good place to take her for her first restaurant experience since she could order so many things that didn’t have meat.

  He honestly couldn’t believe her parents let her go. If someone came up to his parents and asked to take him away for a special day, they’d say no. In fact, his parents had to know every detail of any person he spent the night with or rode home from baseball practice or school. Willow’s parents said, ‘whatever she wants. It’s her summer of self-discovery.’ Freaks. Doug’s father was a bit secretive about the things surrounding Willow’s camp. Even his mother tried to ask questions, and he always said, ‘later.’

  Doug’s family plus Wills went back home for cake and presents. They had less than an hour to spare. The only thing Willow’s folks seemed strict about was the curfew because of their nightly meeting. She talked tonight more than ever. It was strange to hear a little girl that had never been anywhere have so much to say, but Doug listened. She was funny and smart. He didn’t think she knew that about herself.

  Momma bought a bakery cake because they all knew when in doubt, hire it out and cooking was never her strong suit. That’s why Dad made the big buck’s or one of the reasons. They sang the birthday song. Weird, the song was for him the day before and today it was for her. Momma joked they were almost birthday twins. It was a pretty big coincidence to meet Wills, introduce her to birthday celebrations and then give her one of her very own. However, nothing felt strange. Wills at the Chadwyk’s felt completely normal. Tanner barely left her alone. He constantly asked her to play with his stupid toys. She said she would sometime, but Doug knew she was too mature for toys.

  Willow opened her presents. His parents bought her more clothes which was dumb. She was going to have a closetful that she only wore at their house. Doug picked out the real gift.

  “Here, Wills. This one’s all my idea.”

  She slowly unwrapped the box and then she squealed, “Oh! This is the best book in the whole wide world.”

  She had some books at her place, but no way did she have that book.

  Doug picked out a huge travel and map book about the entire world. He would not let Momma pay a cent either. Doug used his yard money to buy the present for Wills.

  “Can you keep the book in your room?”

  “Sure. I’ll put it up high to keep Tanner from messing with it.”

  Wills thanked him and his parents again. They were running late. Dad grabbed the flashlight to take her back.

  “I can walk Wills back since we know it’s not that far and the trail’s safe.”

  “No, honey. It’s dark. Your father will go.”

  “I’m a teenager. Can you stop treating me like a baby, Mom?”

  “Well, Doug’s right. It’s a straight shot.”

  “Walt, he’s responsible for Willow too. Her parents might not like that.”

  “Really? Her parents that let her do whatever she wants might care?”

  “Douglas, hush that mouth of yours,” Momma scolded him which was so embarrassing in front of Wills.

  “Dutch can take me. I’m not scared.”

  His parents finally caved. His father more than his mother. She never liked the idea of them being alone on the trail, but if Willow was going to be over on a regular basis, it didn’t make sense for either of them to need an escort each time. A few yards into the forest, the little brat snatched the flashlight from his hand.

  “Give it back.”

  “I know the way better than you and you’re shaking.”

  “Oh yeah, well, turn the light out and make it back in the dark if you’re so smart. I wasn’t shaking neither.”

  “Were too and I can. I’ve done it before.”


  Doug stopped. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. I noticed your house a long time ago. I followed the sounds and saw the deck lights. Sometimes I walk at night.”

  “Alone?”

  “Yes. That’s the best way.”

  “So, you spied on us?”

  “No. I was curious.”

  “Had you seen me before that first day?”

  “Yes, but not clearly. From the back and you were fuzzy. Everything’s fuzzy until it’s up close.”

  “No, not really unless you need glasses. Jeez, Wills, I bet you need glasses. No wonder you get around in the dark. You’re probably half blind and don’t even know it.”

  “I read fine and I can see you perfectly.” She shined the flashlight under her chin. Doug bent down to light up his face. They stood there a second lighting up each other’s faces until Doug decided to test her. He took one step at a time back and told her to say when he looked fuzzy. When he counted to twelve, she stopped him.

  “Yep. You’re near-sighted.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “You see up close, but not far away.”

  “It’s dark.”

  “You shined the flashlight on me. Doesn’t matter. Better tell your parents.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I love science, and I’m going to be a doctor even though all the other men in my family are lawyers.”

  “JC forbids doctors. He says we can’t trust them. All they do is poison people and hook them on pills.”

  “Oh really? Well, JC is an idiot. No one is forbidding me.”

  She giggled, “You’re in eighth grade, not a real doctor yet. I bet you change your mind about what you want to be when you grow up.”

  “I won’t. Once my mind’s made up, I don’t change it.”

  “If you say so, but we need to run because I’m so late. Race ya.”

  Willow shined the light ahead and took off. She was fast and agile. Doug thought if she went to his school, she’d be good in sports. When they reached the clearing. Willow handed him the light back.

  “I’ll see you soon. Thanks for my best birthday,”

  She disappeared before he added it was her only birthday. Doug kicked at the dirt. He was slow to walk away. Everything about Willow seemed fine on the surface, but she wasn’t totally okay. She wandered the woods at night, her diet was restricted, and she’d never been to a doctor. He vowed to himself they’d get her vision tested even though he had no idea how to make that happen.

  He wasn’t paying attention and almost ran smack dab into the stranger creeping around Willow’s camp. Doug froze. His heart picked up speed. Run. Scream. Fight. His brain didn’t tell him which to do first. A creepy man in the woods was exactly his mother’s worst irrational fear next to wild animals.

  “Willow missed the gathering tonight.”

  Oh shit. It must be her dad not a homicidal maniac. He took a breath of air since he’d stopped for a minute.

  “Sorry. We had cake.” He sounded stupid like his kid brother.

  The man lit a cigarette between his lips. The strange smell permeated the air between them and the match caused an orange glow to his rotten face. Yikes. Willow must get her cuteness from her mom. This man was scary ugly or ugly scary. He looked worse than the homeless junkie that hung out behind the football stadium.

  “Willow needs glasses.” What the hell was wrong with him? He blurted that out without thinking.

  “I doubt that. Did your parents take her somewhere besides dinner? I told Rain and Stone this was a bad idea.”

  “What? Aren’t you Stone? Um, Mr. Whatever? Does Willow really not have a last name?”

  “No. I’m not Willow’s old man.”

  JC. Doug didn’t even need to ask. This was the guy that ran everything in Willow’s life. Her parents didn’t really listen to this straggly haired, unshaven, smelly freak, did they?

  “We went to dinner. My parents don’t lie. Willow says faraway objects are fuzzy. I’m the one that says she needs glasses.”

  “Oh, is that so? Well, Willow only needs to concern herself with what’s in front of her. People that look too far ahead tend to lose sight. She knows better than to be tempted by the world’s way.”

  “Huh? That’s a load of crap. No one’s tempting her. She needs to see.”

  “You’re a little shit, aren’t you?”

  Doug didn’t answer. What if this guy forbids his family from ever seeing Wills again? He learned in a short time she needed them.

  He adjusted his attitude like Momma so often told him to, “I’m sorry. I was worried she might get hurt or something if she can’t see.”

  “Willow will never hurt as long as she is with me. Now get lost, kid. I’m allowing this experiment, but if I spend any more time around you, I’m betting I’ll change my mind.”

  He tossed his half-smoked cigarette in front of them and stomped it into the damp ground. Doug swore he tossed it at him. He didn’t hesitate another second, turned around and ran; ran as fast as he could in the dark. He dropped the flashlight in his panic but didn’t bother to go back for it. Limbs and sticks stuck out and scraped his skin. He almost fell once but caught ahold of a tree. His hands stung, but Doug ran harder.

  His father was at the edge of the woods because he thought he was taking too long. Doug grabbed his father by the arms. “Dad, you have to do something. I mean it. Willow can’t keep living like that. That man, JC, he’s going to hurt her. I just know it.”

  His father tried to calm him down, so he could tell him the whole story, but Doug couldn’t catch his breath. The thoughts running wild inside his head prevented him from calming down. What if JC had already hurt her?

  Present day

  Willow might be dreaming. Maybe she was her teenage self in a warped alternate reality. Gah, she had a whopper of a crush for many years. He was the most popular boy in school—so smart, handsome and athletic, but she lived with his family. Most people considered her the adopted sister and even though Dutch gave her a first kiss, she finally figured out it was a sympathy thing or his plain ole huge ego. Although, he had confused her more than once. His protective streak seemed more like jealousy at times. Countless people asked if something was going on between them. They both denied it every time.

  Willow gave up the pointless crush in college. They clearly were not meant to be like that. Their life goals didn’t align. Their friendship was too important, so she never told him how her feelings had been all over the place for him. Even when Jason broke her heart and Doug kissed her tears away, she didn’t confess. That was the furthest they ever took their attraction. He stopped it then. Tonight, nothing was stopping them.

  Dutch hopped off the bed to finish undressing. Her hand almost went to her face to hide her eyes. She wasn’t supposed to see him naked, at least not until now. He stopped her by resting his hand on her thigh. Damn her traitorous eyes. She looked, no Willow stared with her mouth hung open.

  “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he teased.

  Jerk. Maybe she should. Nope. No way. She couldn’t function if she had a picture of him in all his glory. She would have to rely on her memory, and Willow was certain, she’d never forget this moment. Her best friend was gorgeous clothed or unclothed, spectacular unclothed. She imagined he would be even though she always tried not to imagine him this way.

  “My turn.”

  Dutch reached for her and tugged. She rose to her knees. He hesitated a second before becoming familiar with her breasts. Was he nervous? She was, but she didn’t expect him to be. Seducing women was his specialty. From the way he bragged, Willow wasn’t sure if heart surgery or getting women into bed was his top talent. This wasn’t a seduction exactly. It was a gift. No, that made it seem weird. A favor? A sacrifice? A donation? What the hell was this?

  “Stop, Wills. Be with me in the moment. Quit thinking so much.”

  “I can’t lose you, Dutch.”

  “You won’t.”

  “
Promise me again, we won’t change.”

  “Promise. You have my solemn vow. I’m your best friend and you are mine until the end of time.”

  He joined her on the bed and pulled her close. His warm chest caressed her chilly breasts. Heat and satisfaction overwhelmed her. Doug whispered against her skin. “Let me love you how I always wished I could.” His hand ventured south to her belly where he massaged gentle circles. “This is meant to be. We were meant to create this life together.”

  His finger hooked inside the waistband of her dreaded cat pajamas. Willow actually had a man aroused while wearing these worn out, most comfortable tragic pair of pants. Dutch hated them. He told her every time she wore them they should die a slow painful death, called them her I give up pjs. And yet, he was about to give it to her.

  He chuckled. “You have no idea how bad I want these off, possibly burned to ash.”

  She lifted her hips and shimmied out of them. He made sure her cotton panties slipped off with them. “Those better not accidentally disappear or end up in my fireplace.”

  “That I cannot assure you. The cat pants need to go.” Dutch leaned back. She was self-conscious. Willow should have turned off the lamp before this started. He drank her entire form with his eyes. “You are too beautiful. I feel like I need a special license to touch you.”

  “Shut up.” He was lying. He’d seen way better, but that didn’t stop him from staring like he hadn’t. Could she honestly be this beautiful to him and never realize? It was almost too intense, and he had barely touched her. She had to lighten the mood. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

  Dutch’s feet shifted, “Be right back, need to grab my phone.”