Willow's Wish

by TC Rybicki

  “I’m not going to lie another minute. This is your real grandchild.”

  Momma said, “What?”

  Dad added, “Huh?”

  Tillie innocently asked, “Are we going to eat cake or not?”

  Tanner pointed straight at Doug’s face, “Motherfucker! I was right, you are still an asshole, a first-class one.”

  Post baby reveal

  The chaos and confusion lasted a few more minutes. Dad calmed everyone down finally like only a good dad could do.

  “Hold on, everybody be quiet. Willow, are you saying what I think you’re saying? That Doug is the father of this baby?”

  Her head nodded. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry about the clinic story.”

  “Wow, okay. Of course, either way we were going to love this child, but I think I speak for Dawn, we are thrilled you told us the truth. I mean, there are some things we should sort out I guess, but later, in private. Maybe we should give these kids some cake.”

  Doug’s mother was a smart lady, but she often lost the plot when something was fast-paced. “You mean Douglas was your donor?”

  Tanner was quick to give his unwanted input, “Mom, seriously? Don’t be naïve.”

  “Oh, you mean,” she covered her mouth. “When did that happen? I’m sorry, that’s too personal. It’s just you’ve always insisted it wasn’t like that between the two of you.”

  Doug needed to say something. The past five minutes felt like an out-of-body experience. Everyone else had talked, even the six-year-old begged for cake. However, Tanner mouthed off again shaking his head, “Now I know you’re naïve. Doug and Willow have always been like that.”

  “In this house? When you were teenagers?”

  “No, Dawn. Tanner stop it. If you and Dutch can both stop speaking for me tonight, I’d appreciate it. Since I’m making full confessions, here we go. Yes, Doug fathered my baby, and we didn’t use medical assistance, but you’re right, normally, we’re not like that. He is my best friend. We love each other, and we always have. I’m sure you all know that and that’s what Tanner meant, but we made an agreement. We both accept each other’s life choices. This is my child. I’m fully prepared to be a single parent, and no one needs protecting. We’re fine. Dutch and I are in a great place. We still have things to discuss, but we’re on the same page so let’s do what Poppa said and eat some cake. Am I right, Tillie?”

  “Yes, Ma’am. Me first.”

  Carly held the lighter again. “Well, alrighty then. Haaaapp…” and they all started singing. Willow blew out all the candles; he didn’t even try. Doug was fond of birthdays. They were a reset and a yearly reminder of what he’d accomplished. He normally set new goals he planned to achieve before the next one. This no longer felt like a celebration. He didn’t want any damn cake; all he wanted was to flip the table to demonstrate what took place inside him. His family would remind him every day he was a deadbeat dad. It didn’t matter Wills told them she accepted their arrangement. None of them accepted it; it was written all over their faces.

  Doug woke up sweating in a panic. A nightmare with a crying baby he couldn’t reach or find wasn’t like any dream he’d ever experienced. He took a few quick breaths to get his bearings. He was in his old room, passed out on his bed… alone. One glance at his phone showed he hadn’t slept more than an hour. Wills wandered off with Momma shortly after the kitchen was clean. He wanted to get her alone to see where they stood since she altered the plan with no warning. That didn’t happen. He got lectures instead. It was just as he predicted, never-ending judgment—first Dad, then Momma, followed by Carly. Tanner invited him to a nearby bar. Carly voiced her concern before letting them drive off given their current level of conflict. Their strange night didn’t end there. Doug had to call their father to come get them at two when the bar closed because neither of them was fit to drive.

  Doug felt like a teenager in trouble the entire silent ride home. He peeked into her room to see her passed out. Willow still slept with the door open after all these years, so he did too. He fell face first into his bed fully dressed just after three. It was officially her birthday now. Doug hoped she’d have a better day than him, but they needed that talk. No doubt he was still sloshed. His jeans had him sweating, so he dug for a pair of lightweight joggers and a cotton tee. His mouth felt cotton-stuffed and his mind dizzy as he stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. After relieving himself, changing clothes, brushing his teeth and drinking six of those tiny cups of water meant for mouthwash, he trudged back toward his room. He couldn’t help needing a glimpse of Wills but was alarmed she wasn’t in her bed.

  Doug halfway expected her to be in his; she wasn’t. He was in the bathroom; maybe she headed downstairs to the powder room. He would never be able to fall asleep until he checked. When Wills wasn’t in the other bathroom or the kitchen, true panic sobered him up a bit more. She left? No way. She couldn’t. That would be reckless of her. Willow needed her sleep and he couldn’t imagine her making that long drive with so few hours of rest. He double checked the house alarm to find it wasn’t set before heading outside. He spotted her car right away, but the worry only grew. Where was she?

  Doug was tempted to wake someone to help him search, but then he saw a shadowy figure sitting on the pier. He jogged across the grass in his bare feet.

  “I thought you left.” He added me in his mind.

  She looked back, “It’s the middle of the night. Why would I do something like that?” He shrugged and asked if he could sit. “It’s your pier, sit wherever you want.”

  “You’re pissed?”

  “Of course, I am. I asked you to please not overreact tonight. You threatened to cut Tanner open at the dining room table in front of his children. And you refused to trust me to make my own announcement.”

  “With good reason, you broke your promise to me. Shouldn’t I be the mad one?”

  “Wow. You’re determined to make this all about you, aren’t you?”

  “You should have confided in me if you wanted them to know.”

  “I didn’t know I would until they were all looking at me, but when I was face to face with the people that love us the most, I was convicted to be honest.” She admitted she didn’t think it through but wouldn’t apologize. Willow thought his family deserved the truth. Maybe that was true. Doug had never seen them so excited, despite their concerns. Willow looked for him after his Mom had a long chat with her but gave up and went to bed around eleven.

  He planned to yell at her, but Doug was a giant pussy under the influence. It was as much her influence as the beer’s. “I’m not mad, but you made things harder for me.”

  “Seriously, I’m growing a human being, will go through labor and delivery followed by eighteen years as a single mother and I made things harder on you?”

  “Yes. By the way, everything you just listed was exactly what you wished for. You wanted a child.”

  “And you didn’t. Got it. Sorry I needed reminding, but we’re square now since you like to keep score. You blabbed to my doctor and I told the family. No one else will know, you have my word.”

  “You can’t compare your doctor knowing to my entire family. She’s bound by confidentially laws. I spent the entire evening hearing how I’m a selfish asshole from everyone in that house, even the six-year-old.”

  He could see her eyes roll even though the clouds covered most of the moon. “Tillie doesn’t talk like that and I doubt Camden has strong opinions on grown-up issues.”

  “You have to be kidding. That kid has all his father’s faces of judgement memorized. He gave me the stink eye all night, and the little one flat out asked why I won’t marry her Auntie Willow.”

  “I told them I was fine with our arrangement. I can tell them again if it will help. I’m sure Tanner will never back down, but you two aren’t typical brothers, anyway. I still haven’t had time alone with him. He went missing when you did.”

  “He took me to Rowdy’s.”

  “What? Why did Carly le
t that happen? Let me see your hands.”

  Doug held his hands out for inspection. “We didn’t fight, at least not with these. But I swear, I’m going to deck him before this kid is born.”

  “Oh my God, you’re drunk. I thought this was a serious conversation, but you’re wasted and probably won’t even remember what I said. Go to bed, Dutch.”

  “Not without you.”

  “That’s not happening, not unless hell freezes over, pigs fly, and every various other impossible exaggerations. I learned my lesson. Thank you very much.”

  “I meant, I’m not leaving you outside in the dark. I’m surprised you are brave enough to sit out here all alone.”

  Willow used to roam the woods as a kid but not after what happened that night with JC. He hated remembering that asshole, but he was finally in hell where he belonged. The courts always informed Willow on important updates. She knew when he was released and where he lived when he fulfilled the terms of parole. Someone even called when JC was discovered with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head about eight years ago. None of that changed her fear of the dark and woods.

  Wills changed her assertive tone, “He’s dead.”

  “Yeah, but there’s other stuff that scares you out here.” Doug glanced at the boathouse. “So, you regret it?”

  “How dare you ask me that. I’d do anything to change what happened.”

  She might as well have stabbed him in the heart the way she responded. He was there for the ultrasound. They were both in awe and now she wished it never happened. His words stuck in his throat, but he snapped, “Well, it’s still early enough if you need to make a decision. I can’t stop you or at least that’s what the Supreme Court says. Fuck it, I’m going to bed.”

  Doug tried to get up, but Willow grabbed him. “What the hell are you talking about the Supreme Court for?”

  “You don’t want the baby.”

  “Jesus, Dutch. You are loaded. I never said that.”

  “What was that shit about changing what happened?”

  She slapped his shoulder. “I should push you in the lake right now. You idiot, you were staring at the boathouse. I thought we were talking about… forget it. You’re right. Let’s go to bed. Separately.”

  Doug buried his face in his hands, “Everyone’s right. I am an asshole. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “There’s been a lot of that going around and things are complicated for sure, but I could never regret this child. I love him so much it scares me.”

  “Ha-ha, you called it a him. Told you it’s a boy.”

  “Yeah, maybe I’m starting to believe that too. We have about seven more weeks before we know for sure.” Willow stood up. He didn’t want to go to their separate rooms without truly making up.

  Doug reached for her, “I’m sorry it’s so emotional right now. Clearly, we didn’t think it through, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything. This little guy deserves you as a mom just as much as you deserve him.”

  Willow held onto him a few minutes. “I swear, I’m wide awake.”

  “Me too. At least our talk sobered up my drunk-ass.”

  “You didn’t drive home, did you?”

  “No, Dad came for us.”

  “Oh boy, I bet that was super awkward.”

  “Yep. He gave us the ultimate silent treatment.”

  Willow folded her hands in front of her while she faced the lake, then she started clapping, “Let’s do something crazy. Pretty soon, I’ll be a mom and it will be too hard to be spontaneous.”

  His lip curled at the idea. Doug instantly equated crazy with sexual. “Oh yeah, what did you have in mind?”

  “Take me on the lake, like the first day we met.”

  “What? No way. I can barely see. It’s too cloudy.”

  “Oh, please, you could navigate this lake blindfolded. Pretty please, I don’t know if I’ll be back many times while it’s still warm. Then in the spring I’ll be hugely pregnant. Come on, Dutch, one quick trip out on the lake for old time’s sake.”

  “It’ll have to be the canoe. Dad would shit if one of the motors came on this time of night.”

  “Of course, that’s exactly how our first boat ride went.”

  Thank God, this didn’t happen the first time he had Wills in the canoe or he’d still be grounded. She shouldn’t have asked him to take this trip down memory lane if she never wanted to be intimate with him again. They had regular uncomplicated conversation on the way to their favorite spot, and then Doug started feeling certain things. The moon appeared for one last viewing. Dares were made, and that is exactly how Doug transformed a shitty birthday into a tantalizing game with Wills in the middle of Lake Lanier.

  “I called time out.”

  “Too late, I already caught you. Now you have to take my dare.” He held her waist to prevent her from climbing back in the canoe. “I think you should let me get in first, so I can pull you up.”

  “You’ll see me naked.”

  “Too late. If you were worried about that then why’d you agree to come skinny-dipping with me.”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t mean to, one dare led to another and I couldn’t stop.”

  “Yeah, and then you ended up pregnant. I know our story, Wills, let go of the boat and swim with me a few more minutes, just until the sun comes up.”

  “Okay, but hands off, please.”

  He released her. “Done. I’m keeping them underwater. Care to guess what I’m doing with them?”

  “Eww, TMI. Perv.”

  He laughed. “Doggy paddling. That’s all I meant, so you’re the perv. Come on. Swim.” He did a dive and swam until he was out of breath. When he reemerged, she was yelling at him.

  “Dutch. Where’d you go? Ugh. Stop that. I almost panicked. And quit diving in. You know I see your ass when you do that. Come back.”

  “Nope, you swim to me.” Willow sunk deep into the water before she took off, so she didn’t show skin on the surface. She could hold her breath a long time and for a second, he lost track of her. Now he was the one afraid treading in the deep waters, “Wills.”

  She came up behind him laughing. “See, it’s creepy. Isn’t it?”

  “Why you…” he went after her, but she was fast. He took credit for that. He was her swim instructor. They were having a blast. For a moment, he felt seventeen again and it was like old times. Then Willow cried out in pain.

  “What happened? Are you okay?”

  “It hurts. I can’t move.”

  “What? Is it the baby?” he swam over to her as fast as he could. She hadn’t been letting him touch her, but Doug scooped her in his arms. “Tell me what hurts.”

  “I got a cramp but not the baby, in my calf. It hurts so bad, help me.”

  “Oh, okay, that’s a relief, you scared me. Leg cramps are normal.”

  “It doesn’t feel like a relief or normal.”

  “Hold up. Come on, let’s get closer to the boat.” He had her hang onto the side and then took her right leg in his hands, so he could massage the cramp.

  “It’s only this one?”

  “Yeah, sometimes I wake up with these.”

  “You should eat a banana with breakfast that will help.”

  “Okay, it feels better now. We should go. I’m exhausted.”

  He kept massaging. They should try to get a few hours of sleep. No one would bother them, so they could sleep late.

  Willow had her other arm around over his shoulder. At first, she only braced herself but now she was rubbing his neck. Doug stilled in the water. They stared deeply into each other’s eyes then she cursed him. “Damn you, Dutch.”

  He thought it was his unruly dick bumping against her. “Sorry, it’s a male reflex.”

  “I said never again, but I’m pretty sure I just saw a flying pig.”

  Willow let go of the boat and jumped on him. He had to grab the boat with one hand, so they didn’t sink and drown. It would have been a crazy way to go, Wills wrapped around him na
ked in Lake Lanier. He had to keep them afloat, so they could finish what she started. He truly believed it wouldn’t happen again, but it most definitely was happening. Willow wrapped her legs around him. He started to adjust their bodies, so she’d be exactly where he needed.

  “Wait, no.”

  “Sorry. I thought pigs were flying and hell froze over.”

  “Yes, but not in the lake. There might be germs. It’s not safe for the baby.”

  He wanted to dispute it and use his doctor knowledge as proof because he damned sure didn’t feel like delaying anything, but she might be right, they should not take a chance.

  Doug had never rowed the boat so fast in his entire life. Willow complained she’d get her pajamas wet, so he gave her the small tarp that was in the canoe. He focused on her the entire way back to the pier as the sun came up behind them. Once they made it back, he tossed her his shirt for coverage while he slipped his joggers back on, and they booked it straight to his room. This time he shut his door.

  Reuniting with her body was a virtual homecoming. He never felt this way with anyone else. A peace enveloped them after the hasty dash into the house trying to go unnoticed. He held still and relished the feel of being inside her again.

  “Fuck, you feel perfect.”

  “I was about to say, you feel even better than I remember. I think I’m more sensitive pregnant.”

  She squeezed him with her internal muscles, and he almost died wanting to lose total control. He had to remind himself sex wasn’t a race. He needed to slow down. In the back of his mind, all the other times he worried it would be their last, but not this time. There was something different between them. Doug couldn’t label it, nor did he want to. He intended to enjoy Wills and not feel guilty about it. The others were all wrong about him. He hadn’t set out to hurt her. His problem had always been loving her too much. Most people that knew him thought he was selfish and arrogant, but what they didn’t know was how making her happy had always been his number one goal.