Willow's Wish

by TC Rybicki

  Willow looked around her room. It wasn’t that big of a deal. They were adults. Everyone knew they were having a baby together. Then why she in so much distress? This was her family for so long. She had practically forgotten her childhood before them. The Chadwyk home was hers. Everything started swirling through her head at once. She woke up next to Dutch sure that she could be patient. Carly was excited. Dawn was hopeful. Everyone saw her discarded pajamas, but Dutch; he kept sleeping. Now they all knew why. Willow begged him to promise nothing would change before they first had sex to get her pregnant. It changed. Her whole life was different.

  Carly knocked once before entering. “Hun, no one cares. It’s nothing. You know how many times Tanner and I got busted when we were younger? Come to think of it, I’m jealous. It’s been forever since we had that sort of spontaneity. Kids, parenthood… yikes, we need a getaway ASAP. I say, get it while you still can. After the baby comes, things change. Not forever, but at first until you and the baby get a full-night’s sleep.”

  Change. There was that word again. Willow hated how easily her decisions were panic-driven. She didn’t want to appear ungrateful. No doubt Dawn had more planned for her birthday, but she couldn’t do it. It was all too much. She stuffed the pajamas that started her downward spiral into her bag before moving around the room grabbing up the rest of her things.

  “Willow, no! What are you doing?”

  “I… I have to go home.”

  “Why?”

  “Um, I can’t remember. I think I forgot to change the batteries in Felix’s automatic feeder. He probably hasn’t been fed since yesterday. He’ll be furious with me or he could get sick. I’m sorry. He’s my baby.”

  Carly grabbed her arm, “That sounds made up and even if it’s true, that cat is hefty. He’ll live until tomorrow; I’m sure of it. Let me get Doug.”

  “No, he’s tired. Please don’t. I’ll call him later.”

  Willow tossed her bag over one shoulder and brushed past Carly before she argued any longer or got Doug up which would be even worse.

  Dawn’s voice cracked, “No, honey. Please stay. We have a gift for you and Walter is making barbeque later. You love his grilled vegetables and you need healthy foods every day. Where’s Douglas? Did he upset you?”

  “No, it’s Felix. I think he’s starving. I have to go, or I’ll worry all night.”

  Tanner sounded like his brother for once, “Seriously, a stupid cat? Doug says he’s the devil incarnate.”

  “He’s not. Dutch just isn’t a cat guy. I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to everyone.” Willow could sense a full-blown panic attack surfacing, and she was sure to be sick. She hadn’t eaten enough at breakfast and all the anxiety she was feeling was making her stomach churn. She had a small window of opportunity to flee.

  Tillie made things even worse reminding her they were going to play a game, and she hadn’t finished her special birthday drawing. “And Poppa says he’s cooking s’mores. Last night was cake and tonight we get s’mores. Please don’t go. I wish Felix was here. I’d give him lots of food.”

  “True. I always tell you he’s welcome. Don’t you have a pet sitter?” Doug’s mother was almost too nice for her own good. Willow was going to hate herself by the end of the day.

  “Yes, Constance’s niece, but she’s busy and since it was only the weekend, I didn’t think it was a problem.”

  Tanner saw through her bullshit almost as good as Dutch, “You should have just brought the damn cat, Willow.”

  “Jet hates Felix. I tried that once.”

  Tanner snapped, “Jet’s so old, Mom puts a mirror in front of his nose most days. He wouldn’t even notice the demon cat.”

  Willow looked over at the Black Labradoodle sound asleep on a doggy mattress. He didn’t move much the entire time she’d been there. The Chadwyks always had some form of a lab since she met them. That’s why Dutch was a dog person. She loved all pets, but with her job, a cat was the only one that made sense. Willow knew damn well Felix was fat and fine back in Savannah; she hated lying. It wasn’t a full lie. Whenever she was anxious, she did have unnecessary fears about her cat. Before their disappointed faces changed her mind, Willow told them sorry again and goodbye one last time.

  She left, or she thought she was leaving. She got as far as putting her car in reverse before Dutch ran out of the house, hair sticking up in all directions, shirtless, crazy eyes, and screaming at the top of his lungs.

  He slammed his body against her door. “Don’t do this!” His fist pounded on the glass. “Stop being crazy and park this damn car.” She shook her head. He pulled the latch and slapped the window once more. “Open up and talk to me.”

  Willow hesitated with her hand on the gear shift and her foot on the brake. She wanted to leave before he got up or else it would be a huge spectacle like last night. Too late, it was worse than dinner. He moved away from the side of the car to walk calmly to the back. He went as far as to pretend he was going to lie down. That was it. Willow put the car in park, turned off engine, and got out.

  He caged her in place. “Keys.”

  Willow squeezed the keys until her hand hurt, but eventually stuffed them in the pocket of his sweats. “You can’t keep them.”

  “I can, and I will until tomorrow. What the fuck, Wills? We made up. This morning was amazing. What happened?”

  “They’re all looking.”

  “I know, but the family’s in shock. They’ll relax, give them time.”

  “No, I mean they’re all literally looking right now.”

  Dutch glanced over his shoulder to see all the faces pressed against the window. Walt and Tanner came out onto the deck to make sure she didn’t commit vehicular manslaughter.

  “Well, what do you expect? The fucking cat. You couldn’t possibly think they bought that? Tell me, honey. Why are you so upset you’d cause a scene?”

  “No one understands us,” she folded her hands in front of her chest.

  He covered them with his, “But us,” he finished her thought. “I know and who cares.”

  “I’m not mad at you.”

  “That’s great, but I knew that when you didn’t run over me.” She snorted.

  “There’s a tiny smile. Good. I got you back. Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m taking you inside and we’re going to lie down and take a nap. You’re overtired. Then we’re getting up for another fun-filled Chadwyk dinner. Dad’s grilling and Carly’s frying some fish which you don’t eat, but I love. And we’re not going to talk about the future or the past; we’re going to be in the moment. Also, I’m going to hold your hand and kiss you all evening so don’t act shocked.”

  “We can’t. It’s confusing.”

  He covered her lips with his finger first, but quickly replaced it with his mouth. Willow remembered they had an audience, but that didn’t stop her from melting into Dutch. She returned his kiss and probably always would. She was tired of running when she was afraid. That’s what she did since she was a kid, but that’s how she found him in the first place. Running wasn’t bad if she ran in the right direction. That’s why Willow decided to let him keep her keys the rest of the weekend.

  She found the courage to tell him what prompted her fear. “Dutch, I have to make a demand on you and I’ve never done that before.”

  “Okay, what?”

  “Please don’t break my heart.”

  “Wills come on. I’ve protected you since we were kids. I would never do that.”

  “The fact that you’re insisting that proves I’m about to take a huge risk because you damn well have once before, and you know it.”

  Spring 2002

  Doug slammed the pantry door. He’d already rummaged through the fridge and came up empty-handed. His mom walked up griping about his behavior, “I thought you went shopping. That’s where Dad said you were when I got home this morning. There’s nothing to eat.”

  “Not grocery shopping. I can give you some money if you want to go for yourself.”
>
  “I don’t want money, Momma. I want food. That’s what kids want when they come home from college.”

  “Well, I’m sorry. Maybe if you would’ve told me you were visiting this weekend, I would have planned ahead. I’ve been preoccupied getting Willow ready for her Senior Prom.”

  “Oh, that’s tonight?” He said it casually, like he didn’t know. Truth was he marked this night on his calendar eight months ago. Doug had two major exams to study for, but he made the drive home for the weekend anyway thinking he’d keep her company.

  His mother proudly pulled out expired lunchmeat for him. Before he could point that out, she questioned him. “How did you forget? We’ve been talking about it for weeks. I’m sure Willow emailed you.”

  She had, but that she wasn’t sure she was going. They emailed constantly about everything, sometimes just one word. “Butthead. Loser, big baby, whiner, I miss you, I love the heck out of you, fruitcake.” He never admitted how much he missed her. There were times when he thought he might flunk out, so he could go home, but it was just one year. She would join him at the end of the summer. With her grades, she was almost guaranteed a scholarship. They were anxious for the acceptance letter.

  “So, why are you making a big deal? She skipped last year, and I was here so she wouldn’t have to be a total loser. I’m surprised she decided to go all alone.”

  “She isn’t a loser, ever. I swear, Douglas. Willow can go to prom alone, but this year she has a date, and he is the sweetest, handsome too.”

  Dutch intended to prove his mother wrong, “No, she doesn’t have a date. I asked her two weeks ago.”

  “I thought you forgot.”

  “Never mind. What asshole asked her out with less than two weeks to spare?”

  “Language! My house, my rules, Mister. His name is Brantley Mosely.”

  “Who?” Doug made a gag noise. That was gag-worthy name.

  “He’s new, transferred after Christmas. They have Speech Club together. Willow has been crushing since he started, and I think he’s shy. That’s why it took a while for him to ask. Wait until you see her dress. She is going to be the prettiest girl there.”

  Doug worried this might happen when he graduated, but most guys in high school knew better. It was only one year. He thought she’d be safe from the typical predatory high school punk. Fuck this outsider that didn’t know what was up. He sounded like a real douche. Who moves to a new school after Christmas, anyway? He shoved away from the kitchen counter. He and Willow needed to have a talk because she had been withholding important details from him.

  Momma called after him. “I can make a sandwich. Aren’t you hungry?”

  “Not for listeria and I lost my appetite. I’m going to study.”

  Doug twisted the knob on the closed bedroom door to find Wills making faces close to her full-length mirror.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  She shrieked as she turned around clutching her hands against her chest. She wasn’t nude, but she acted as if he’d caught her doing something way worse with her puckered lips.

  “Get out. A gentleman would knock, and you’re supposed to be in North Carolina.”

  “And you’re supposed to be in your pajamas, eating ice cream, watching chick flicks, so we both kept something to ourselves last time we talked.”

  Willow’s eyes rolled. “Do you mind? I’m trying to get ready and I’m not decent.”

  Doug closed her door behind him and took four long steps to be in front of her.

  “What are you trying to prove?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Oh yeah, well this fancy hairdo and thick makeup says otherwise. Looks like you’re trying to be somebody you’re not. Is that how Bradley told you to act?”

  “No, his name is Brantley, not Bradley.”

  “Give me one reason why I should give a fuck. So, you have a boyfriend and didn’t tell me?”

  “You have tons of girlfriends and never run it by me.”

  “Wills… you’re trying my patience. I made the five-hour-drive way too early this morning to play games with you.”

  “I’m not playing. First off, I’m allowed to have boyfriends, but Brantley is just a friend.”

  Doug exhaled relief. She enjoyed torturing him, “For now. We’ll see how tonight goes.”

  His fists clinched at his sides, “I don’t have a fucking clue who this guy is, and I told you plenty of times, high school boys can’t be trusted.”

  “Get out of my room, Dutch.”

  He reached out to touch the silk fabric of her thin robe at the end of her sleeve. She was covered up. He didn’t understand why she was so shaky with him in her room. He let go, but he didn’t listen to her request. Doug walked over to her bed and fell backwards. He propped up on his elbows.

  “Carry on. Bore me with all the details about your high school plans for the evening.”

  “I can’t because the only thing left is putting on my dress, and I’m not doing that in front of you while you’re acting like an asshole.”

  He smirked, “Are you saying if I wasn’t being an asshole you’d get dressed in front of me? Because I doubt that.”

  Willow dropped her arms and heaved her frustration. Her shoulders rose and fell a few times. He knew what she meant by decent now. She didn’t have on a bra. He closed his mouth tight. Words escaped him. She had a rocking body. That wasn’t news to him. Willow was active in track and spent half the summer in the water. He’d seen her in swimsuits and tank tops but eyeing her breasts through baby blue silk was not something he was ready for. She had a little too much make up on, but he’d lied; she didn’t look overdone; she was gorgeous.

  He looked around the room to save himself. His eyes should look anywhere but at her. That was when he saw it. Her prom dress was hanging on the closet door. Doug jumped off the bed. His eyes must be deceiving him. Surely, he’d hold it up and find it wasn’t missing key pieces of material. Nope, no such luck. The dress was dark burgundy, tight, long, v-cut and when he flipped it around, missing the whole damn back.

  “Tell me this is not yours. A friend is coming by later to get dressed because her father would shit if he knew his daughter was about to wear this dress to a high school prom.”

  “That’s a creative thought, but no, it’s my dress. Isn’t it beautiful?”

  “Take it back.”

  “You’re insane. I love this dress, so does Dawn,” her excitement grew with each mention of the dress, but Doug’s anxiety grew every second seeing it.

  “Did Dad see?”

  “He saw it in the bag not on me yet. Dawn says it’s tasteful, and it meets the school’s dress code, so you’re outvoted.”

  “It’s backless. Your bra will show.”

  “I’m not wearing one. For the last time, Get out.”

  Not wearing a bra. That fact sunk in because he’d just seen what she looked like without one. This dress could kill a man, namely him. “Fine, but I’m taking this dress with me.”

  He reached for her prom dress, Wills grabbed his wrist. “College has turned you into a bigger jerk than you were before. Why can’t you be happy for me for once?”

  “I’m always happy for you. This guy is going to get the wrong idea with this dress. I’m trying to help you.”

  “Let go before you mess it up,” he held the hanger, and she held onto him. “And that’s a disgusting statement. A woman’s dress doesn’t mean she is asking for something. I’m positive my date is more of a gentleman than you and it’s not nearly as revealing as your prom date’s dress last year. I assure you.”

  “I don’t even remember my prom date last year or her dress, but I know you and you’re not prepared for this kind of shit.”

  “I’m not a kid anymore. I just want to be normal. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be the never-been-kissed-high-school-virgin?”

  He handed the dress back. Doug knew the virgin part, but he wasn’t completely sure about the never been kissed part. It made him
a little too happy. That’s when he realized what he’d walked in on earlier. Wills wasn’t making faces at her mirror. She was practicing because she planned to give away her first kiss tonight. Did she think prom night would make it special, more memorable? He wasn’t worried about her going further than that. She was too reserved and still a little afraid of intimacy. This butthead transfer student didn’t know her morals or her story. He couldn’t if he’d only been around since Christmas.

  “You were practice kissing at the mirror, weren’t you?”

  “No. That’s absurd.”

  “Oh, come on, sure you were. You don’t have to lie to me. You’re nervous. There’s probably a good reason. He’s not right for you.”

  Wills had a good-sized bedroom, but somehow, she and Doug had migrated to one corner next to the closet. He was drawn to her. The silky robe might have been magnetized for all he knew because the pull was strong.

  “Why are you breathing so hard, Wills? You get nervous when you lie.”

  “Because you’re standing too close. You’re suffocating me.”

  “I’m not even touching you, but I could if you need a trial run. You seem afraid of botching your first kiss. Word could get out and your reputation will suffer.”

  “Is that so? Sounds like you don’t have much faith in me.”

  He took another step. Willow didn’t flinch. Normally, when she was sick of his shit, she’d give him a shove.

  “I never said that.” He had faith in her and little else.

  “Oh yeah, you think I’m desperate that I have to kiss my reflection in the mirror and that I won’t be a good kisser without lessons.”

  “I’m sure you’re not desperate, and I’m not offering in case you misunderstood.”

  “Good because that would be weird.”

  “So weird.”

  “And I would never.”

  He chuckled, “Pretty sure you would.”

  “Not hardly, I don’t want to kiss you, Dutch.”

  “Then why do you keep staring at my mouth?”