by TC Rybicki
Doug pounded on the back door that was the common entrance into the Claiborne’s house. His truck was there, and the only vehicle parked out front. Good, it meant he was alone. Rob didn’t come to the door right away, but Doug refrained from yelling just in case that scared him from answering.
After a solid five minutes of loud knocking and ringing the bell, a groggy Rob cracked the door.
“What the hell is wrong with you, man? My head is killing me, and you just made it ten times worse.” He looked down at his wrist, “Wow, it’s early. Wish I would have known, maybe we could have done something today, but I’m not feeling it right now. Call me later.”
Rob tried to shut the door, but Doug wedged his shoe in the space. “I don’t think so. I came here to see you.”
“Then you should have called. I think I’m coming down with something. Text me later.”
“No, now.”
“What the fuck, Uli? I feel like shit.” Maybe that was a common ailment after raping someone, but Doug was not the least bit sympathetic.
“Then it’s a no? Are you saying no, that you don’t consent to having a conversation with me?”
Before Rob could open his mouth again, Doug reached inside the door, grabbed him by the throat and pulled him outside with him. Rob tried to react, but it wasn’t fast enough, and he found his back against the railing of their deck.
“Now that I have your attention. Tell me no again like Wills told you and take a guess whether or not I’ll have mercy on your sorry ass.”
Rob shoved Doug away. “It wasn’t like that. Look, I’m sorry. I was fucked up, and I broke the code, but we’re not damn kids anymore.”
“You mean the code about raping women? Because I never knew we needed that stipulation. I thought that was obvious that none of us were sick pieces of shit.”
“Rape? For fuck’s sake. You misunderstood her or she’s lying. I’ve never had to force myself on anyone. You know that.”
Doug had lost his last shred of patience. He stomped toward Rob with his fist raised. Rob grabbed his wrist. “She should have told me she was a virgin. They’re extra work and I would have been different.”
Doug’s fist popped those lying lips and the two men scuffled around the deck. There was guilt in Rob’s tone, but not true remorse. Dutch visualized Wills crying her eyes out and apologizing for what this asshole did to her. Now Rob was blaming it on her to his face.
Rob tried to speak again, “Shut up. Don’t say anything else. Willow doesn’t lie. She told you to stop. Admit it, fucking prick and you might have a chance.”
“We were drunk, and she was all over me for weeks.” Rob wiped the back of his hand across his lips and stared at the blood that transferred from his mouth. “Whatever she thinks she says was at the last minute after she’d already opened her legs for me, so I suggest you get the fuck off my property before I call the cops. I’m done with both your crazy asses.”
Doug planned to go over to Rob’s and beat the holy fuck out of him, but after hearing his callous version, he exploded. There was little chance Rob would escape with his life. The real fight began, and Doug could not stop. At first Rob gave all that he could, but he was still hung over and not fueled by the same amount of rage Doug had. He fought before, sometimes about Willow, but this wasn’t a single punch or shove. Doug lost himself in his pain, regret and inner turmoil. His hot temper had gotten him trouble with his parents, Wills, and the school, but it wasn’t ever a big deal. The voice that told him enough grew weaker while this event turned into the biggest deal of his life. He hit harder and fought dirtier. It got to the point his bloody fists slid off Rob’s face. When his unworthy opponent couldn’t stand, Doug assaulted him with kicks. Over and over, his foot slammed into his battered body.
Dutch lost all track of time and his surroundings until a firm grip wrapped two arms around him. He was so distracted making Rob pay he didn’t hear the car.
“Don’t. That’s enough, Doug.”
Doug struggled to get away from Tanner. He had no idea when that kid surpassed him in size and strength. Rob was barely conscious making abnormal breathing sounds on the ground.
“You were supposed to stay with Wills. Go home.”
“Mom and Dad are there. She’s asleep and they think she’s sick, so she’s fine.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. Wills isn’t fine because this fucking animal raped her a few hours ago!”
“I know or at least that’s what it seemed like when I looked around the boathouse combined with how crazy your eyes looked.”
“Then you should understand why I’m not done. Go home, so I can finish this.”
“It’s finished. Rob needs the hospital. What more do you need to do? Kill him? How the hell will that help Willow? She needs you now more than ever. Let the police handle it.”
“Wills doesn’t want to go to the police; she thinks God will sort it out.”
“It’s her choice,” Rob tried to move, and Doug was primed to kick him again, but Tanner shoved him. “I’m not going to let you do this. Call for help or I will. This isn’t for Willow; you’re past that. If you go to prison, it will destroy her. Look at your fucking hands, man. You’re supposed to be a doctor.”
Doug’s hands were numb. It wasn’t all Rob’s blood. His knuckles were swollen and split open. He started to shake as the reality set it. Those sounds coming from Rob might be the result of a punctured lung. He didn’t deserve mercy, but Tanner was right about Willow’s reaction. She’d blame herself forever. He remembered her crying apologies for letting herself get raped. That’s the way she had been her whole life.
Doug reached in his back pocket. He told Tanner to go home because he didn’t want him implicated. Once he saw Doug tap in 9–1-1, he was reassured it was over.
He yelled to Doug from his car, “What do I tell Mom and Dad?”
“Nothing yet. They’ll find out soon enough.” Dutch didn’t need to say the obvious, but he was in a shitload of trouble. Wills didn’t want to press charges, but he bet Rob wasn’t going to feel the same way. He wanted to kill him a few minutes before, but Doug knelt beside his former friend to assess him for the emergency operator. He whispered close to Rob’s ear, “Don’t you die, motherfucker. That’s the last thing we need.”
Present day-South Carolina
The deep talk was underway. Willow and Dutch stayed intertwined against the headboard of their hotel bed and listened to what the other needed to say. It was the first time they admitted how the assault changed them individually and as a unit. Dutch had wanted to forget it ever happened and pretend his concerns had only been about her. Wills feared all those years she had caused what happened but could now say out loud it was non-consensual. She gave mix signals a few weeks, enjoyed Rob’s company and always had a tiny crush on him, but in the end, she said no. He didn’t listen to her and she should have reported him to the police. Months and years of denial compounded, and a wedge resulted between Doug and Willow. It was a long time before they were as close as they had been. Now they were back. He was her Dutch from their beginning only better.
“It took guts for you to blackmail Rob. I always suspected it happened that way, but maybe not as bold as you just told me.”
She huffed, “You’re the only man I know that could make me feel special for being a blackmailer. I had to make him promise to leave town and not press charges.”
“It could have backfired especially since you were so terrified of telling your story and being put through intense scrutiny again.”
“I was more terrified of losing you.”
When Dutch came home late that night with Walt, Willow, Dawn and Tanner were waiting in the kitchen all sipping piping hot mugs of cocoa in the middle of summer. She knew something was off, but no one had told her Dutch was arrested or that Rob was in the Intensive Care at the local hospital. One look at him revealed Dutch had been in a horrible fight. He was battered, scraped and bruised all over, but he’d been the victor acco
rding to Tanner. She would have never guessed. He’d fought a little through the years because of his temper but it had never been like that. At the end of the night, it was clear to Willow there were no winners. Rob would ruin her family whether he lived or died, and she couldn’t let that happen.
Days went by, she and Dutch barely spoke. They needed to prepare to go back to school but neither of them did much other than sit alone in their rooms. One night after the whole family had gone to bed, she went into his room. Willow studied the bruises that had continued to evolve since that first night. His face was better, his hands looked a mess, but nothing was broken. He had one dislocated finger he fixed himself, but the hardest spots to see were his wrists with that dark line circling each of them. He wore handcuffs because she told him the truth or her version of the truth at the time. It took a long time for Willow to repeat what happened in her mind without altering the events to protect herself from the ugliness of her first sexual encounter.
Dutch interrupted the memory when he kissed her forehead. “I love you Wills. That’s always been the case. You’re so much stronger than me.”
“Well, I’m no hero. Maybe if I reported him and told the truth, he could have been helped. I have to live with the rest.”
“Don’t start with the guilt again. Rob was fucked up and there were signs. I’d ignored them and so had his parents. It’s not your fault. You aren’t responsible for him hurting you or ending his misery the way, he chose to.”
Dutch broke down earlier and finally mourned his lost friend not the one that stole Willow’s innocence in a boathouse or drove himself off the longest bridge in Georgia a month later. He grieved the sweet childhood friend he’d grown up with.
They’d returned to Duke a week after Dutch was assured no charges would be filed. He could not afford something like that on his record and expect to proceed with a medical career. The business of a new semester kept them apart most days and nights. He sent texts to check on her, and Willow lied most times saying she was alright. The truth was she had experienced way worse days and uncertainty after returning to school. Late one Friday night, Dutch showed up at her dorm and asked if she’d take a drive with him. They drove around the city for a good hour before he took a turn on the road north. Willow had no idea where they were until he pulled into a small roadside picnic area in south Virginia.
“I need to tell you something, Wills.”
“Wait. Me first.”
Dutch acted like he wanted to interrupt but he allowed Willow to speak first. “I know you want to hate him and part of me does as well, but I think Rob needs help.” She pulled the letter from her bag. It arrived no more than two hours before Dutch appeared at her door looking like he hadn’t slept in a week. She tried to explain the dark place their old friend seemed to be. He chronicled his long year of heavy drinking and apologized repeatedly in his letter which was a stark contrast to his behavior when Willow visited him in the hospital. She threatened to file charges against him if he didn’t get his parents to back off Doug. Rob was defiant, saying Willow practically begged for it and then ran straight to Dutch to get them to fight over her. She was crushed he would characterize her in such a way. She lied and said she took photos that would prove he was forceful. Rob didn’t say it that day in the hospital, but she was sure when she left he was afraid and in some sick manner of revenge, she was proud to scare him.
Now she felt sorry for Rob and it was unlikely Dutch would intervene to help, but maybe he could contact some of their old friends to check on him. The letter made it seem like Rob wasn’t returning to college. She had even more things to discuss with Dutch, but this was a start.
Doug stopped her, “He’s dead.”
“What? That can’t be true. I just got this letter today.”
He told her to check the postmark. Dawn had just called. They found Rob’s body in the early morning hours. It was being investigated as an accident, and Willow knew she was too late to tell anyone something was wrong with Rob.
After talking for hours, Dutch urged Willow to get some sleep, but she wasn’t done discussing the tragedy. There was one thing they hadn’t talked about.
Willow mourned all that she’d lost that night in a dark car in the middle of nowhere. Dutch held her hand and reminded her what she still had. She couldn’t have her virginity back and every time she looked into his eyes, she regretted what never was or never would be. Rob was gone forever, and nothing made sense. Maybe if she would have left it there and not told Dutch the rest, the recovery would have been easier. Instead, Willow revealed how scary her life had been the weeks returning to school.
Of course, Rob didn’t use protection and Willow pleaded with him since she wasn’t on anything. Like an idiot, he said he knew what to do. Well, he didn’t do what he promised, and she’d gotten pregnant. It was the most gut-wrenching realization she’d ever experienced and there was absolutely no one to share it with. Willow had no clue what to do next other than pray silently every day for a sign or guidance, anything. Dutch stopped her when he slammed his fists against the steering wheel. “You’re pregnant! That son of a bitch raped you and got you pregnant.”
She’d never seen him so mad even if he said it wasn’t her fault. They both knew that but the discussions about what happened weren’t rational. Willow had one request. “Will you kiss me again?”
“Huh?”
“Please, so my last memory of a kiss is better than what it is now.”
“I’d hardly call this the right mood for a good kiss.”
“Trust me. It’s you. It will be.”
So Dutch kissed Wills at the least likely of times or situations, and she was right to ask. He made her feel better. When they pulled away, she confessed the rest, “I had a miscarriage a few days ago. I’m not sorry and I’m sure someday I’ll regret saying that, but I’m not ready to be a mother and I know for a fact, I would lose you for good if had another man’s baby.”
“Wills, I’m sorry about all this; that’s not true. You can’t lose me, but I won’t lie. I think it’s for the best. You need to put this behind you. We discussed it and I’m pretty sure I don’t ever want to talk about any of it ever again.”
Neither did she, so they didn’t for well over a decade.
Now they were opening all the old wounds and making true confessions. She was pregnant with this baby- Doug’s baby and it wasn’t happening like either had planned. He was never just her donor like they pretended. Dutch wanted her to move in with him and she wanted to be with him all the time, but he wouldn’t state his intentions after the baby arrived.
Dutch apologized, “I’m sorry I was a stupid shit and let you slip through my fingers all those years ago. All the stuff with Rob ripped me apart because I dwelled on the fact if I would have just said you were mine and we were together, you’d never been running off alone with him. He was sick in his mind, but he wasn’t a predator; he wouldn’t have come after you. I blamed myself because I was at war with whom I dreamed of becoming and who I was with you. I thought it was either/or. You should have never forgiven me.”
“I never blamed you once, but our baby is a reality. We need to be consistent. Our friendship and our bond have never been questioned, but what will we be once the baby’s born?”
“Us, Wills. We’ll be us. Move in with me.”
“I said I would, but I need to hear the words. Are we together?”
“Yes, of course we are, but it’s nice keeping all this private. None of my colleagues would even believe me if I told them I settled down and was expecting a baby with you. I will admit it if you want me to. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“No, it’s fine. We have a lifetime to sort all those details out. I’m in if you’re in.”
That was when Willow heard the words she’d been dying to hear for months, probably years. Dutch rubbed her belly, “Oh, baby, I am so in.”
Present-5 months later
Doug’s description of perfect had never been this. He redefin
ed perfection. Did he deserve her? Hell no, but she gave him everything. They’d been living together for months and he’d never been happier.
Willow’s palms flattened against his chest. Their eyes locked, and she took his breath away. City lights filtered in through sheer curtains. Wills insisted on leaving them open. He usually got up when she fell asleep to close the blackout ones he custom ordered for all his condo windows. Tonight, the light did her justice. He might leave them open, so he could see her face anytime he wanted. Doug needed to soak up every bit of her since they’d be apart a few days.
Wills hovered above him with the last bit of lingerie he hadn’t removed, coated in a silky sheen of perspiration. She complained about how large she’d gotten, but when his hands slid over her swollen abdomen, a soft moan slipped from her lips. Two more weeks and they’d have their son. He called it. They were having a boy. Maverick wasn’t shy during the mid-pregnancy ultrasound. Wills said he’s his father’s son and Doug relished the sound of that. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wasn’t a family man until one day, he spun around his surroundings and saw his condominium transformed into a home.
Two days ago, they swore it was the last time until after Maverick was born. Wills was too uncomfortable, but when she stepped out of the bathroom in some sexy black getup that was sheer and lace, he was done for. Wills asked if she looked like an orca and Doug laughed. He wasn’t laughing long when the robe fell off her shoulders and he saw the bra underneath. That was staying on. There weren’t many days remaining before he had to share those, and Wills knew how much he loved her boobs.
Their lovemaking continued at a slow, gentle pace. He was taking a risk. She could go into labor and although most pregnant women were ready those last two weeks, he had a conference that he couldn’t miss. It was a huge opportunity to be invited to the special preview for robotic surgery Cambridge was perfecting in the UK. If Willow showed any signs of pre-labor, he’d cancel, but she swore there was no chance. Her doctor had just predicted she’d go overdue not deliver early. He was still antsy about leaving and she couldn’t get on a plane at this point to fly to Miami.
