by TC Rybicki
“Could you zip this please? I didn’t mean to make him wait and why would I change my mind?”
Dutch didn’t answer. His large hands touched Willow’s hips before twisting her around. He paused a second. She could feel him breathing against her back. He zipped but didn’t take his hands off her. Two fingers tickled the skin on her low back. “Someone forgot to sew a back for this dress.”
“Pretty sure it’s supposed to be this way. It’s cute, huh?”
“Yeah, cute.” She needed to slip on sandals and then she would be ready. That’s when Willow realized Dutch was still touching her. His fingers brushed their way up her exposed back. “You got too much sun today.”
“I know. I put lotion on.”
He leaned in, “Peaches like this dress.”
She laughed, “I guess so, well, I’m starved. I’m sure Rob is too.” Willow turned around and gave Dutch one more chance, “Sure you don’t want to go?”
“You sure you do?”
“What’s that’s supposed to mean?”
Dutch folded his arms in front of her, “I don’t know, it just seems like you’re attention-seeking right now, and Rob is not the right guy to play that game with.”
“It’s Rob.”
“Yeah, I know and he’s a fucking player.”
“So are you. He’s also our friend, probably our best friend ever. Back up, please. My shoes are under the chair where you’re standing.”
Dutch didn’t stop the strange looks even as Willow and Rob were leaving the house. Of course, Rob noticed and said he got the Dad talk.
“No, way from Walter?”
“Your other Dad, Doug. I’m supposed to have you back no later than midnight in the exact condition you left in.”
“Ugh, he’s impossible lately. Dutch never gets enough sleep with this commute and internship. Pay no attention to him.”
“I try not to. It’s just weird; he doesn’t seem happy to see me, but he was always an asshole when he was tired. I’m used to it.”
Willow insisted Dutch was happy to see Rob, but his behavior in her room left her with an uneasy feeling. She didn’t know what his problem was other than Rob was right, Dutch was a real asshole when he’s tired.
Willow tip-toed down the hall after getting ready for bed in the bathroom. She was a little wobbly and prayed she didn’t wake anyone. Walt and Dawn wouldn’t be too angry if they caught her drinking at home, but it wasn’t normal for her. She couldn’t believe they stayed out until three in the morning, but it was her best night of the summer. Rob was hilarious, and he was an excellent storyteller. He described in vivid detail all the places he’d been because Willow begged to hear about his travels. She had one leg on the bed ready to collapse when her bedroom door shut from an unseen force.
The unexpected event scared her so bad, Willow grabbed her chest.
“Fun date?”
She tossed a pillow across the room at Dutch. “You moron. That scared me half to death. How long were you hiding behind my door waiting to do that and what is wrong with you? You have to be up in three hours.”
“Two hours and thanks to you I haven’t got a damn bit of sleep. Just what the fuck are you trying to prove?”
Her mind was swirling from the scare mixed with too much beer. She didn’t know what he was talking about. Dutch stomped toward her bed and caged her in with his arms like she was his prey. “What did I tell you about Rob?”
It wasn’t funny, Dutch acting like a maniac in her room in the middle of the night, but Willow couldn’t hold it in. She died laughing. “I can’t remember.”
“You’re fucking drunk? I’m going to rip his throat out. Where have you been, Wills? What were you doing with him?”
That statement snapped her out of any revelry. Wills pushed Dutch hard, and he stumbled back. “Get out. It’s none of your business. I’m an adult.”
Dutch came back to Willow’s bed. “I’m serious. Did that fucker drink and drive with you?”
“No, we’ve been in the boathouse. Rob bought beer on the way home from the movie. Chill out. We were just talking. He’s had an incredible two years.”
Dutch snorted, “Yeah, he’s done so much. Well, I hope you let him know you’re not next.”
Willow went from goofy to angry to stunned Dutch was jealous of a true friend. She calmed down soon when she got a good look in those tired, puppy dog eyes and ended up sympathetic. Dutch wasn’t having much of a summer. Maybe it was difficult for him to watch his friends have a good time when that wasn’t possible for him any longer. Adulthood wasn’t all they’d imagined it would be.
“Dutch, we’re just friends. You know I hate it when you overreact, and this is Rob we’re talking about. We invited you, remember?”
He had a seat on her bed, took a few calming breaths and apologized. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s Rob. But you need to know his reputation, Wills.”
“I know it. Your reputation is similar and I’m perfectly safe with you so what’s your point?”
Willow told him about the tentative plans she and Rob made for the next few weeks before they both needed to get ready to go back to their separate colleges. She begged Dutch to find some time to join them on the lake. He said he’d try, but he was trying to stand out and didn’t want to miss any opportunities. It was his dream to come back to Atlanta after medical school. Only the best doctors got to be picky starting out. She appreciated his ambition and determination, but Willow missed her friend. It seemed like work and medicine had become number one to him. It wasn’t like she used to assume she was the most important thing in his life before, but the summer had created distance between them.
Doug yawned and stretched out next to her. “You can’t fall asleep in here.”
“Wanna bet? Come on, Mom isn’t getting up before me. I barely have time to close my eyes. Scratch my head, Wills. You know how that puts me to sleep like a little baby. Pretty please, and I promise I’ll be nice to Rob as long as he behaves himself the rest of the summer.”
Willow kissed Doug’s cheek and told him she missed him. She and Rob had a fun day, but it would have been better with him. It would’ve been like old times. She started scratching his scalp until she couldn’t hold her hand up. Dawn didn’t want them to sleep in the same bed together when they were younger, but Willow was older, wiser now and being close to Dutch always gave her the best rest. Hopefully, when they got back to Duke, things would be normal between them again.
Willow was dizzy with thoughts and pink rosé. She and Rob had hung out, swam or waterskied almost every day the past two weeks, but what just happened was new. Rob kissed her. He was still kissing Willow, and she liked it. This was insane. They’d drank too much or maybe it was the long day in the sun.
One second, they were laughing about her epic boating skills and his huge wipeout then the next, his lips were on hers. Willow was making out with Rob. Her knowledge and experience were limited, but she thought he was enjoying it as much as she was. One thing led to another and soon they moved to the bench seating on the left side of the boathouse. She expected things to taper off soon, but their actions only escalated. Willow’s bikini top was untied, and she needed to decide whether to continue or put a stop to it. This was her longtime friend. She was a little tipsy. He was also drunk.
They were about to go their separate ways. It wasn’t ever going to be a relationship for them, but Willow had always thought Rob was hotter than hot. She had a wicked crush on him. Lately he’d been calling her pet names. She let him touch her breast, and he called her sexy. No man had ever called her that. The feelings and urges were almost overwhelming at this point. Willow fell against the cushions and Rob slid in between her legs. There wasn’t much between them since they were in swimsuits. She’d been saving herself but had almost forgotten for who and for what. None of the other girls had waited so long, so Willow’s mind and body began a debate.
Rob’s husky voice tickled her neck, “Has he ever made you come?”
&nb
sp; She tried to process the question before Rob took the next step. Willow didn’t need to ask who he was. Rob meant Dutch and the funny feelings in her stomach turned into uneasiness. She didn’t like his ill-mannered question and a little common sense returned to her. Willow had been saving herself for love and she didn’t love Rob, not like that, not like she loved Dutch. There was only one thing left to say, so she said it.
Summer 2004
Dutch made it home early for a change. Willow’s car was in the driveway, and the boat wasn’t missing. The best sight was the absence of Rob’s truck. Maybe he’d have a chance to have some fun with his best friend instead of Rob monopolizing all her free time. He loved his buddy, but he had become a nuisance showing up every time Willow was off work, sometimes early in the morning and for most of their family dinners. Rob must have lost his knack with the ladies if he couldn’t find another damn date for the past two weeks.
He checked the kitchen then her room but there was no sign of Wills. Damn his rotten luck. Rob probably took her somewhere. His parents had a long day of shopping because they were going on vacation as soon as he and Willow went back to Duke. Tanner was working, and the house seemed empty. Doug listened and noticed the shower running, so Willow must be home after all.
He knocked, “Surprise, I’m home.”
She didn’t answer him which he didn’t think much about. Doug went back downstairs to use the other bathroom. He could still hear water when he stuck his head around the corner, so he decided to make a sandwich. After scarfing that down, he headed back to his room. The shower continued. What the hell was with her? Willow was a girl, but she wasn’t known to hog the hot water. She was considerate. He wondered if she was sick or if her time of the month came early. Something didn’t seem right.
Doug knocked again, “Wills, what’s up? You okay?” No answer again, so he yelled the next time. “I’m giving you this last warning. I’m coming inside. I hope you’re covered up or I’m finally seeing the goods. I mean it. I’m breaking down the door in five, four, three… you’re scaring me.”
He was fully prepared to knock the door down, but one twist of the doorknob revealed Willow hadn’t locked the bathroom door. She was used to sharing with two boys; Wills always locked it. Doug didn’t know what he expected to find on the other side, but when he saw her, his heart sank. Wills was crumbled on the floor, her back against the tub and she only had the small towel from the floor covering her up. She hadn’t reacted to the fact he was coming inside the bathroom with her. She appeared to be in a trance. The first thing Dutch did was grab another clean towel to wrap around Wills. Then he reached inside the tub to turn off the water.
He knelt beside her and tilted her chin toward his face. “What happened to you?”
Tears streamed down her cheeks when she looked back at him, words he would never forget escaped her lips, “I’m sorry, Dutch.”
“Sorry for what? Are you sick? Did you get hurt?”
He looked at her and noticed splotchy patches all over her tanned skin. She’d gotten a lot of sun these past weeks. The marks could be from the hot water. Her hair was wet, so he assumed she’d been in the shower earlier, but he wasn’t sure how or why she ended up on the floor. The minutes of not knowing filled his mind with dark thoughts. She looked hurt, but not on the outside. Someone hurt Wills on the inside, and he had to know for sure even though he dreaded the truth for once.
“Wills, honey, it’s Dutch. Do you know where you are?”
“Yes, home.”
“Okay, good, so you didn’t hit your head and aren’t confused. Do you know what happened?”
She nodded.
He rephrased, “Can you tell me?”
“You’re going to hate me.” More crying, so Doug reassured her.
“Never. Look at me. It is impossible for me to hate you. You’re my best friend, but I need to know, so I can help you.”
Willow covered her face, and wept, but her words were clear, “I had sex with Rob.”
Doug felt like he took a severe punch to the gut and instant fury replaced his concern. How could his best friends do such a thing to him? That was his first selfish thought, but then he reassessed Willow’s demeanor. Was this shame or something more? She apologized, but nothing made sense. She was too upset for simple regret.
He knew Rob since Kindergarten. He’d warned Wills, his friend was a player, but that didn’t make him dangerous. They had similar methods, and it was always with willing parties. They had a code: no sisters and no stealing potential babes from each other. Of course, that was high school, and they weren’t exactly close any longer, but Dutch took that shit seriously. He thought Rob did too, but then again, he knew damn well Willow fit into several unspoken categories.
“Wills, one more question, and I want an honest answer. Did you say yes?”
She nodded, but added something, “I think at first I gave that impression, but I waited too long to change my mind and he couldn’t stop.”
She was already traumatized, but Doug had to hear the words. He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a slight shake. “Did you say no then? Which was it? They are two distinctly different answers.” Her yes and no were jumbled, and he didn’t know what she meant.
“Can I go to my room? I’m cold.”
Willow tried to get up, but Doug scooped her in his arms to carry her. She buried her face in his neck. “It wasn’t supposed to be him. You know what I always wished, didn’t you?”
So much pain and regret consumed Doug with those words. She was traumatized, and he felt partially responsible. He’d always done things the wrong way when it came to her. He’d have to live with that but watching the woman he loved most of his life curled into a ball like a frightened child fucked with his mind. The truth was clear to him now despite her inconsistent language and head movements.
“Honey, I think I should take you to a doctor.”
She screamed, “No, I’m never doing that again. It won’t do any good; I took a long shower. I can’t stand all those strangers judging me. I’m an idiot that got drunk with a guy and paid the price for stupidity. There’s no crime in that.”
“He raped you, Wills.”
“Stop it. Don’t say that. It’s Rob. He’s your friend and you can’t go around dropping that word because it’s serious.”
“I know exactly how fucking serious it is. So, you’re changing your story? You said yes?”
She cried some more. “I didn’t fight back. He wasn’t brutalizing me or anything. It was a misunderstanding. He said I gave signals. Well, you know how inexperienced I am. If I did, it was an accident. I… I liked him. He paid attention to me and at first, I thought maybe I should get it over with since I trusted him. That’s not as bad as some stranger, but then other thoughts came to me, and I just wanted to be alone and for him to stop touching me. I told him I changed my mind, but he said it was too late.”
“He said that?”
“Yes. So, I closed my eyes and hoped it would be over soon. It was and then he apologized for being drunk, but for me to keep my mouth shut or we’d both lose you for good. Have I lost you, Dutch? Because if that’s the case, I’m never going to be okay. You’ve done stupid shit before, and I forgave you. Please say you forgive me too.”
“No, I won’t.”
Willow sobbed some more, but Doug held her against him until he calmed her down, “Baby, it’s okay. What I mean is you’ve done nothing that needs forgiving. I need you to believe that. Rob’s a fucking liar, okay. I’m a man. I know for a fact it’s never too late. If you said no at any point, he was obligated to stop, but he didn’t and that made it non-consensual. Please stop torturing yourself about what you did or didn’t do, Wills. If you don’t want to go the hospital or let me call the police, I’m not going to make you. This is your life, your body, but I’m going to handle it. I need you to know I can’t let something like this go. He won’t get away with it.”
She begged him to forget it that God would sort it in th
e end. That might be true, but Doug wasn’t the best Christian. He didn’t have the patience to see what God would do. It was killing him not to jump up right then to go find Rob, but Willow needed him. He tended to her, got her some water, a couple Tylenol, and tried to get her to eat a few bites of food. She even let him help her get dressed before she begged him to never tell another soul. He didn’t promise her because soon after another round of tears, Wills drifted off to sleep in his arms. He didn’t tell her the pain meds were a nighttime formula because he knew how much she needed to sleep.
Tanner met him on the deck on his way out. “You need to stay close to Wills.”
His brother had good instincts, “Okay, what happened?”
“Just watch her and try to keep Mom and Dad out of it. You’re creative, make up something.”
“What the hell, man? You look crazy. How am I supposed to help if I don’t know what’s going on?”
Doug grabbed Tanner by the shirt. “Don’t fuck with me right now, Tanner. We don’t always see eye to eye but we’re brothers, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“If I get into trouble, you’ll come through for me, won’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Wills too? I need you to protect her if something happens to me. Promise me.” He shook Tanner again. “I said promise me.”
“Fuck man, yes, of course. Willow’s our family. Did something happen to her?”
“Yes, and Rob is about to pay the ultimate price. I’ll be back or maybe not. Willow’s asleep. Don’t wake her; she needs to rest.”
Doug hurried before Tanner pressed him for more answers. If it was up to him, he’d tell everyone what Rob had done. He wanted to bring him public humiliation. Rob’s family was well-respected in the community. His Dad was involved in state politics, so it would have been a huge news story, but Willow would hate it. She worried for years people called her the woods’ girl. The drive to Rob’s was short, but it gave Doug time to stew and grow angrier by the second. He didn’t know at what point Rob lost his mind, but he’d never acted this way when they were in high school. They were always competitive, but fair. He treated him better than his own brother. His parents adored him and welcomed him at the house anytime day or night. The worst part was Willow trusted him and he betrayed every single one of them.
