A Most Desirable M.D.

by Anne Marie Winston

  She hesitated a moment. “I found a place to live,” she said neutrally, forcing calm into her voice.

  “You already have a place to live, in case you’d forgotten.” He lowered his voice as a licensed practical nurse walked by. “We need to talk.”

  She shook her head, avoiding those intense eyes, struggling to keep her composure. “Not right now.”

  “When?”

  “Dr. Fortune to the E.R., Dr. Fortune to the E.R.” The loudspeaker blared right next to Allison’s head, and she jumped, startled.

  “Damn!” He checked his pager. “I’ve got to go. Do not leave this hospital without me today unless you’re going home.”

  She only stared at him. Going home?

  The nursing supervisor rushed down the hallway, interrupting the tense moment. “Go to the E.R. with Dr. Fortune,” she said, pointing to Allison. “I’ll be sending isolettes and some other things down right away—we have a mom carrying triplets coming in with premature labor and bleeding.”

  Allison’s eyed widened as her nurse’s training took over. Personal problems took a back seat to helping save lives. Without another word she turned and headed for the elevator, but Kane touched her arm and pointed to the lighted exit sign. “The stairs would be faster.”

  She nodded, following him to the stairwell and they rushed down the steps, running headlong the rest of the way to the E.R. The woman was being brought in on a gurney as they donned gowns and masks, and within minutes the atmosphere was a tense mixture of professional directions and observations.

  The obstetrician had arrived only moments before they had. When serious signs of fetal distress were detected, he took the unusual step of doing an emergency Caesarian section right there in the emergency room’s operating area. Allison’s heart sank when she heard that the babies were only twenty-seven weeks’ gestation. Staff from all over the hospital descended with additional supplies and equipment as the babies were delivered: a very small boy who wasn’t breathing, a slightly larger girl who was, and another girl even smaller than the boy, also in respiratory distress. Kane took charge of the baby boy and supervised two additional pediatricians who worked on the girls as they inserted catheters and needles and tubes and monitored vital signs. The biggest girl was stabilized and taken to the peds neonatal unit, but the other two continued to present challenge after challenge as they transferred them.

  The smallest girl was stabilized two hours after delivery, but her condition was poor and there was nothing they could do but watch and wait. Allison could see the concern in Kane’s eyes, but he continued to work to save the baby boy. Three hours later, the child was as stable as he could be, given his condition. Kane’s face was grim and exhausted as he headed for a shower, and Allison watched the defeated set of his shoulders as he strode down the hall to talk to the parents first. She knew he expected that at least one of the preemies might not make it.

  Allison slipped away to her locker, washed, gathered her things, totally drained. No one could have fought harder for those babies, she thought fiercely. No one. Her chest ached from the effort of suppressing sobs.

  She went to the personnel office as soon as she’d cleaned up. Today had been overwhelmingly awful, and not just because they’d nearly lost two of the three babies. Today had shown her that she couldn’t work with Kane, day in and day out. It would kill her to be in such close proximity to him, to feel his pain and not be able to soothe or comfort him.

  The personnel director seemed surprised when she asked if there were any openings into which she could transfer. One of the nurses in the pediatric oncology unit was going on maternity leave starting Monday, and though it would be a temporary position, it suited her purposes. In six weeks, chances were good that she’d have found work elsewhere and she’d be leaving San Antonio anyway.

  After thanking the personnel director, she walked out to her car, her footsteps dragging. The sun was low and it would soon be growing dark. Her spirits matched the darkening winter sky above.

  Then she saw Kane leaning against her little red car and she slowed even more. He never looked up as she approached, merely slouched there with his hands in his jacket pockets, not moving a muscle, and no matter how slowly she moved, it was inevitable that she’d have to approach him eventually.

  “Hello,” she said softly.

  “Hello.” He still didn’t look up. Exhaustion and defeat carved deep lines on his handsome features.

  She knew him, knew how he must be feeling after the disastrous day, and she couldn’t stop herself from stepping closer and laying her hand on his forearm. He might not want her as his wife, but they’d been friends once, able to share their feelings about the work they both loved and hated at times. And she loved him so much it broke her heart to see him hurting. “Are you okay?”

  “No.” He looked at her then, and the pain screaming in his golden eyes hit her like a slap. “No, I’m not okay. Two times today I had to walk into a room and tell those people that their children were critically ill, that even if they live they might have serious handicapping conditions. It was…hell. All I could think of was how I would feel if that was a child of ours.”

  She stroked his arm beneath the rough fabric of his sleeve. “It isn’t—”

  “You’re going to say it isn’t my fault.” He moved restlessly, dislodging her hand. “And you’re right. But it is my fault that you left me.”

  He stepped closer, reaching for her before she could evade him. “I’m sorry. Please come home?”

  “Kane, I—”

  “Don’t talk.” He subdued her half-hearted struggles easily, pulling her to his chest and after another moment of resistance, she stopped fighting him. His arms were hard and strong around her, and as he pressed her head against his shoulder, she inhaled the faint scent of his aftershave mingled with the pure essence of Kane that she’d come to know so well. It was Heaven and at the same time it was Hell. How could she bear to give him up?

  “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I shouldn’t have said the things I said to you about my father.”

  “You were right, though.” She spoke to his chest. “I had absolutely no business talking to him.”

  “No, I wasn’t right.” His arms tightened. “I called him back after I realized you’d gone. We had a…civil conversation.”

  “I’m glad.” Her voice was uneven; it was a struggle to control her emotions. Of all the things she’d expected, hearing that Kane had approached his father and spoken to him was at the bottom of the list. She inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar masculine scent one more time, and she felt as if her heart were breaking right into two pieces. His arms around her were strong and secure, his heart beating steadily beneath her ear. God help her, but she didn’t want to leave.

  “You didn’t answer me.”

  “Hmm?”

  “I asked you to come home.”

  Could she stay with him, loving him as she did? Knowing he didn’t love her?

  He drew back a fraction, tilting her face up so that he could see her expression. In his own eyes she was shocked to see a surprising vulnerability, and she realized with a shock that he was afraid she was going to refuse.

  Could she stay with him, loving him as she did? Knowing he didn’t love her? The answer was clear. She loved him. That was the bottom line. Whether or not he felt the same way, she could no sooner walk away from him than she could excise the love she felt for him from her heart. He might never love her, but she couldn’t withhold anything from him that he needed, and he needed her.

  She smiled against his shoulder, an immense wave of relief rolling through her. A current of sadness still flowed, but it was buried deep beneath the conviction that this was right for her, for them. “You didn’t ask. It was a command.”

  “I’m asking now.” He leaned back and slid his arms from around her, bringing his hands up to cup her face. “Allison, I love you. I should have told you before. Will you please come home with me?”

  “I—I—
” She faltered and fell silent. “What?”

  “I love you,” he said again. “I don’t want to spend a night without you in my arms ever again.” His gaze searched her face and the lines of tension that had eased sprang back into sharp focus. “I’ll beg, if that’s what it takes. It took me too long to admit to myself that I love you.”

  “You love me.” She felt lightheaded and her knees wobbled; she gripped his wrists to keep from sinking to the asphalt.

  “I love you,” he said again, gazing into her eyes. “I was going to tell you before—before my father called. Afterward…you left and I thought I’d never get the chance again.” He hesitated, searching her face. When he spoke again his voice was strangely tentative, with none of his usual self-assurance. “You said you loved me. Do you still feel that way?”

  “Do I still…?” She shook her head as a giddy, heady sense of wonder filled her. He loved her! “You really don’t get it, do you?”

  “Get what?” He didn’t release her but she felt his withdrawal and his face was wary.

  “I have loved you since the first day you smiled at me, you—you blind man!” She grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and shook him, though it was like shaking concrete. “I’ve loved you when you were grumpy at work, when you were too distracted to remember my name, when you treated me like…like an old, comfortable shoe. Good old Allison, my friend.” She rolled her eyes. “I dreamed about you for years.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Kane wasn’t smiling but there was a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there moments ago.

  “What was I going to say?” She spread her hands. “Here’s that instrument you asked for, Dr. Fortune. And oh, by the way, I love you.” Then she sobered. “I…didn’t think you found me attractive.”

  He snorted. “How would I have known if I had? You worked damn hard to make sure nobody ever noticed you.” He shook his head reminiscently. “I can still remember how I felt the day I came out here and saw you with your hair down for the first time.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “You noticed me then? How did you feel?” He pulled her closer, sliding his arms around her and tilting her back over his arm for his kiss.

  Off-balance, she put her arms around his neck and hung on for dear life as he set his lips on hers, deftly parting them and searching out the sweet recesses of her mouth with his tongue. He kissed her deeply, letting her come up for air only when his chest was heaving with the effort it took to control himself.

  “I was terrified you had left me for good,” he whispered, putting his forehead against hers.

  “I had.” She sobered. “I thought I’d never mean to you what you do to me.”

  His lips brushed hers and once again he gathered her to him. “You are more to me than I can ever put into words.” And he showed her, holding her against his hard body, his hands streaking over her soft curves, his mouth plundering hers, leaving her in no doubt of his intentions.

  “Is this a free show?” The amused feminine voice came from the same nurse who’d interrupted them in the lounge weeks ago.

  And just as she had before, Allison tried to pull herself free of Kane’s arms, only to find he had no intention of letting her go.

  “Y’all better get on home where you can do that in private,” the grinning woman advised. “Or we’re going to be reading about certain members of the Fortune family arrested for indecent exposure.”

  “Or something like that,” Kane said, laughing. He finally released Allison and took her hand, urging her across the parking lot to his vehicle. “Let’s go home, wife. We’ll get your car tomorrow.”

  “Maybe we could pick it up later today,” she said.

  But Kane shook his head as he put her into her seat, leaning in to kiss her deeply, drawing out the exchange until they both were breathing heavily again. “I have plans for the rest of today. And I guarantee they don’t include picking up the car.”

  Special thanks and acknowledgment are given to Anne Marie Winston for her contribution to The Fortunes of Texas: The Lost Heirs series.

  ISBN: 978-1-4592-0428-7

  A MOST DESIRABLE M.D.

  Copyright © 2001 by Harlequin Books S.A.

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