Big Daddy SEAL

by Mickey Miller

  There was something uniquely rewarding about reaching the end of a great productive day. Granted, I wasn’t out of the woods yet. The busy holiday season was far from over. There were a lot of long, hard days on the horizon, but at least now with the new infrastructure in place and orders coming in, I had hope again!

  Kade was responsible for some of that hope.

  Glancing at the clock, I had just enough time to start cleaning up for a celebratory dinner with Kade. Kade offered to take Emma for me today so I could throw myself into the work. Treating him to a nice dinner after everything he’d done for me was the least I could do.

  I smirked as I washed the sticky aloe off my hands. If I was being honest, I’d been looking forward to dinner with him all day. We didn’t call it a date or anything, but in the back of my mind I knew that was exactly what it was.

  By the time I was out of the shower I had my outfit and shoes picked out in my mind. There was a small closet in my cramped office designed to hold coats, but I repurposed it a long time ago for what little nice wardrobe I had. I hadn’t had any reason to browse through that closet since…I drew a blank.

  Amber better not have stolen the dress I wanted to wear!

  Walking past my computer I saw my phone literally vibrate itself off the desk. Completely losing my towel in the process, I lunged for my cell and, after a bit of frantic juggling, was able to grab it out of the air.

  “What’s got you so riled up?” A subconscious tenseness crept into my features when I felt how warm my phone was. I looked at the dark screen for a moment and wondered if there was some kind of electrical malfunction. My phone never heated up this much before.

  A second later the screen lit up and gave me my answer.

  Immediately, my heart started racing and my intestines cramped in a ball. The tiny hairs all over my body raised and nervous sweat speckled my brow. With now shaking hands, I put in my password and cleared the screen saver.

  “Oh no…” I whimpered as I thumbed through hundreds of texts, social media notifications, missed calls, and voicemails. My phone was warm to the touch because of how many people were contacting me.

  Someone is dead.

  Immediately, I thought of my parents and became nauseous. What else could it possibly be? I was barely a footnote in this town otherwise, why else would so many people be reaching out to me?

  The messages weren’t of condolences, they were of condemnation. People weren’t expressing their sympathies for me, they were pissed. At first, a wave of relief washed over me that my parents were alright but that was short lived.

  I followed a link to the YouTube video she posted on her channel titled, Douglas, Texas is now Kinky AF. And it’s all thanks to my sister. The video went up five hours ago and had over two-hundred thousand views. That was more than four-times the population of our whole town.

  “Nononono. She wouldn’t...” I whispered in horror as I started watching the three and a half minute long video that started with Amber walking through the Shepherd Soaps store. I slowly collapsed onto my cot as I continued watching.

  “Hey freaks. Are you down-to-fuck?” Amber asked offhandedly in the video as she walked through the store, generally rifling through the displays I meticulously put together. Muffled yet familiar music pounded louder in the background the further into the building she got.

  When was this filmed?

  “Because I know my sister is. Here, let me show you.” Amber raised an eyebrow and let the question hang for a few seconds. She sauntered up to the door of the shop where I made all the soap, pressed her finger to her lips, winked, then slowly cracked open the door.

  I was horrified to see the secret cell phone footage of me hustling from station to station mixing, pouring and forming product all the while dancing like an idiot to the mixed CD that Kade gave me. I looked terrible in my stained work clothes, pinned up hair and bright yellow gloves. The video followed me for thirty seconds as I belted out tone-deaf renditions of my favorite teenage songs.

  Looking smug that she’d embarrassed me enough, Amber carefully closed the door and retreated into the hallway back towards the store section of the building.

  “Yup, that’s Genevieve Shepherd shaking her ass, probably still thinking about the hot guy who slept over last night.” Amber shrugged and feigned innocence. “Now. You know me. I’m not one to throw shade. I have no idea what she did with Kade last night. How do I know his name? Because Genevieve was screaming it so loud that I could hear her two floor up.”

  I paused the video, needing a break from the incredible invasion of privacy. I groaned, doubling over on my cot, feeling sick to my stomach. Amber and I had never really gotten along, but this…this character assassination was way too far.

  Why would she do this to me?

  Tensions had been ramping up between us ever since I was given the family business. She was the oldest, sure, but growing up, even up until Mom and Dad retired, Amber never wanted anything to do with Shepherd Soaps. She’d said countless times that we should let the failing business die and that she would never waste her life like our parents.

  She was always more interested in growing her YouTube following than finding a way to make Shepherd Soaps stay competitive.

  I straightened, breathed, and readied myself to watch the rest of the video. This was, by far, the worst thing Amber had ever done to me, and I hated that Kade was dragged into this too, although he probably wouldn’t care. It was embarrassing and hurtful that she’d do this to me, but at least she’d kept the family business out of it.

  Or, so I thought.

  “What exactly is she making, you ask?” A wicked smile crept vindictively across Amber’s sharp features. “Normally, it would be some boring soap concoction with like sage and eucalyptus or some bullshit, but not today.”

  Amber held up one of my Lick it Lube labels from the cardboard box that Kade found. I immediately felt like the biggest idiot in the world for not hiding that better. But why should I have? Everytime I asked Amber for help with orders, she’d said she wouldn’t be caught dead in the shop.

  Now, I wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.

  “So, if you want a sad loser making lube for you to smash to, you now know where to go. This has been your girl Amber with your weekly Splash or Trash segment. See you freaks in the next video.” Amber kissed at the camera and the video ended.

  Dozens more notifications and messages vibrated my phone, but for the next five whole minutes, I was paralyzed with worried indecision.

  Eventually, to keep my phone from melting, I turned off all the alerts. Mustering up some courage, I started going through the hundreds of YouTube comments. There was so much hate… Mostly from people I didn’t know telling me that I should be ashamed of myself, or calling me some kind of whore, or explicitly describing how they were going to use the lube on me.

  It was all too stomach-churningly disgusting. I hadn’t even read half the toxic comments before I had to exit out of the page or risk throwing up.

  Going through my voicemails and texts was even harder, not because of the messages I received, but because of the ones I didn’t. Our parents always encouraged and supported our hobbies, so I knew for a fact that Mom watched every video Amber put out. I was the one who set up the alert for her so she could watch them right when they were posted.

  I forced myself to go through everything and didn’t see a single message from Mom or Dad.

  Oh, God, what did they think of me now?

  My phone suddenly lit up with an incoming call, one I was in absolutely no shape to accept. I guess it was only a matter of time until I had to deal with them. Given their preference of just showing up in person, I was actually relieved that they called instead. At least this way I didn’t have to participate in being yelled at. I slid the icon left across the screen and let Copa Farms go right to voicemail.

  I didn’t waste any time listening to their message. Aggie Copa’s tirade went down pretty much how I imagined, a fie
rcely traditional woman would express her displeasure and disappointment. In a shrill, exasperated and fumingly angry voice, Aggie berated me for dragging their farm’s name through the mud if by nothing except the virtue of association. She also said they would “not be supplying the remainder of the product and would also be keeping the money I sent them for irrevocable damages to their reputation caused by the Shepherd family’s secret...deviance!”

  The backlash and hate from the video Amber posted didn’t stop the existing orders from being filled, but the lack of product from Copa Farms definitely did. I was going to have to refund everyone, and without getting my money back, there was no way I was going to be able to pay the bank.

  “This is it,” I choked the words out and immediately started to hyperventilate. Thoughts of embarrassing my family, and failing the business, spiraled me into a deep depression. I lowered my head and started to cry. This was my worst nightmare and the final nail in the coffin.

  I was going to have to sell Shepherd Soaps.

  11

  Kade

  I gritted my teeth in silence as I went through my brother's things in his office. I’d always focused on our differences, but it was odd seeing how similar we were, even in the space we kept. Like me, he only had a few key possessions. His bookshelf mostly consisted of a few odd notebooks and pieces of paper printed out for shipping things. A list of possible baby names with Emma circled, and others crossed out.

  He’d have wanted Emma with someone else--not me--I reasoned as the guilt began to creep in. My brother didn’t even like me, let alone love me.

  Muttering to myself, I crumpled up the paper with the baby names and tossed it in the trash. I was here to clean the house, not take a trip down memory lane. I’d even made arrangements to have his ashes sent to Emma’s new family, so they could figure out what to do.

  Then there was Jax’s house and what to do with it. I might be able to rent it out, but I’d rather just sell it and sever my connection with this town completely. Start something new, somewhere new.

  Once I was gone, I would be totally cut off from my past. A new life beckoned.

  The very top shelf of Jax’s bookcase was filled with a dozen or so books he liked.

  The Beautiful and the Damned.

  For Whom the Bell Tolls.

  Damn. I didn’t realize he was such a reader. I picked up the Ernest Hemingway book, and a picture fell out with three smiling faces.

  It was from when I was in seventh grade and Jax was in the ninth. We had shit-eating smirks on our faces, and damned if I almost didn’t recognize the girl who was next to me, resting her head on my shoulder.

  Genny’s hair back then was almost golden-brown. While Jax and I stared straight at the camera, her eyes slanted toward me with a sideways grin plastered on her face. We were just neighborhood friends back then. It wasn’t until years later our friendship blossomed into a romance.

  But damned if that look in her eyes didn’t tell me my seventh grade idiot ass had no idea how much that girl would come to love me. And I would throw it all away to get away from here.

  I flipped the photo over a couple of times in my hand, letting my mind wander.

  Maybe I still didn’t get it.

  The sound of the doorknob jolted me from my train of thought, and I heard Genny let out a cough as the door rattled.

  I headed out of the office to greet her. All of my thoughts about getting the hell out of dodge dissolved like sugar in water when she came into view.

  For just a moment, before she turned and greeted me with her eyes, I felt like I was looking at a damn stranger. Just the way she filled out a pair of jeans had me thinking very dirty thoughts.

  “Hey you,” I called to her, tipping my chin up.

  “Hey,” she flashed a very fake-looking grin my way as I strode toward her.

  She put her hand out and grabbed my forearm. “Bad news. Really bad news.”

  “Oh?” I arched an eyebrow. It sure seemed like everything these days was bad news.

  “Yeah. I’m totally fucked. I’ve got to sell Shepherd Soaps.”

  I scrunched up my face, a little confused. “That seems sudden.”

  “My sister…” she muttered, her expression tightening. “My damn sister. Look at this.”

  Genny pulled out her phone and showed me a YouTube video her sister had made, revealing the new business behind Shepard Soaps.

  My jaw dropped as I watched how much vitriol Amber spewed. And at her own damn family.

  “What the fuck?! Why would she throw you under the bus like that?”

  “For the fucking views!” Genny yelled, pacing away from me and throwing her hands up in the air. “I’m totally done. I’ve let down my parents. I deceived them to turn a profit, and now, they hate me, and it doesn’t even matter that I’ve agreed to this week of watching little baby Emma for a ridiculous amount of ten-thousand...hey where is Emma anyway? Is she sleeping?” Genny walked to the room where we’d set up a crib for Emma.

  “Emma’s with her new family,” I informed her, dryly.

  Genny laughed, rolling her eyes. “Funny. Seriously, where is she though?”

  I took a few steps toward her, put my hands on my hips and rocked my weight back on one leg. I stared into her mahogany brown eyes and told her again.

  “Like I said, she’s with her new family. It was a little sudden, but Jax’s wife’s cousin was able to take her. She and her husband were passing through town. They’re well off, they live in Austin, and--”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” she seethed.

  “No,” I said, my voice ice cold. “I’m not kidding you at all. Emma needed a family, Gen. So I made the call. I gave her away to someone close enough to the family, someone who would be able to give her the loves she deserves.”

  She lowered her eyes and her shoulders dropped. “What. The. Fuck. Kade.”

  When she raised her eyes to mine again, I swear I saw fire in them. It was the same fire that made me love her way back when, but right now this was vengeful.

  I clenched my jaw. “Don’t ‘what the fuck’ me, Genny. You act like this was a fucking easy decision for me! But a decision had to be made. Emma needed a home and a family. I couldn’t give that to her, so I decided--”

  “Exactly,” she seethed, her tone venomous. “You decided. You didn’t even think to fucking tell me? I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her! Did you ever think that maybe I’d become a little attached since we’ve been with her. Maybe?!” She ran her fingers through her hair.

  I raised my chin to her, keeping my expression steady. “Had to be done.”

  “Yeah. Right. It had to be done. And you had to decide it. Just like you fucking decided eight years ago that you would run away from Douglas and join up with the SEALs. Whatever’s best for Kade, that’s what’s best for everyone, right!” Her tone oozed with sarcasm, and my blood boiled.

  “Like I had a choice!” I fired back. I took a step toward her, and I could feel the heat of her body. She crossed her arms as she gazed up at me, her eyes narrow.

  “You did have a choice. Instead, you made up your mind and never even asked for my input! You just left forever! And now I don’t even get to say goodbye to Emma!”

  My nostrils flared and my breath became noisy. Genny trembled a little, but we didn’t unlock eyes. A tear formed in her right eye and ran down her cheek. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what the fuck to say. She was right, in a way.

  “This doesn’t have much to do with Emma, does it,” I finally growled, taking her in my arms. She let out a sudden, surprised moan as I took hold of her hips. She collapsed onto me, landing her head on my chest and wrapping her arms around my torso.

  “No. You damn well know what it’s got to do with. You just charge back into town and start flirting with me again like it’s no big deal. Like we didn’t just spend the last eight years apart.”

  Her scent was intoxicating. I held her tight, and for one brief moment, I s
aw a light at the end of the tunnel. I saw us getting to the end of this saga, together. I saw myself staying in Douglas and feeling this way, waking up next to Genny every morning.

  And that scared the shit out of me.

  “I have to go,” I growled into her ear.

  “Go? Where?” she asked, pulling back.

  “Back to base,” I said simply.

  “Kade, Stop. Just stay for a night, think it over. We can finally talk about things.”

  Her lips, glossy and slightly parted, begged me to stay. I leaned in and kissed her one more time on the lips. When I pulled up from the kiss her eyes were wide, disbelieving.

  “What was that for?”

  Turning around, I headed for my brother’s office. Genny’s footsteps followed behind me as I went to grab my duffle bag full of the few items I’d brought with me.

  “God dammit, Kade, say something.”

  I noticed my brother’s golden watch on top of my duffle bag--the one that had been handed down by my grandfather. I slipped it on my wrist. It was one I’d always wanted, basically the last remaining family heirloom in the Houstons. Now that I had that--I was good to go. I turned to Genny. This wasn’t pretty, but it needed to be said.

  “I have to go,” I said simply.

  “Why?” she asked, shaking her head.

  I shrugged. “You know why. I’m not meant to stay in this town.”

  12

  Genevieve

  The office answering machine beeped and I heard Mom begin her message. “Genevieve? It’s Mom, honey. Please call me back.”

  Her voice was so sweet, and reassuring that I instinctively reached for the phone, before I stopped myself. My hand dropped with a thud onto the desk as I let the message end with the beep, then watched the voicemail counter go up a number and flash. I couldn’t bare to talk to anyone right now, especially not them now that I was resigned to sell the business that they poured their whole lives into.