Savvy leaned forward to see the picture of Tyler, one she hadn’t looked at in months. Her breath caught in her throat. He was grinning his obnoxious smile, the one that made that adorable dimple stand out on his right cheek. And those eyes, those wonderful shining green eyes that reminded her of a cat. She could almost hear his laughter, feel him taking her arm. “He’s a friend,” she managed finally.
“A friend?” Lexi’s gaze was mocking. The girl saw way too much. “If I had a friend like him, he certainly wouldn’t be just a friend.”
“Lexi!” Savvy tried to laugh, but her heart ached.
“Well, I hope I get to meet him.”
Savvy reached for her album, flipping it back to the first page. “You’ll get to meet all the clan.”
Lexi’s smile vanished. “You could have been back with them already.”
“Yes,” Savvy answered slowly, “but then we wouldn’t have this time to get to know each other, would we? I haven’t seen them for four months, but I haven’t seen you for–how old did you say you were?–sixteen years. It’s a fair exchange.”
Lexi’s eyes fell to her lap where her own pictures still lay. Her left shoulder ticked twice. “A sister,” she said softly, so softly that Savvy wasn’t sure she heard her correctly.
Before Savvy could speak, Lexi stretched across the bed, reaching toward her backpack. She began stuffing the pictures back inside her wallet. A laminated card fell to the bed, and Lexi scooped it up quickly, though not before Savvy recognized what it was.
“I thought you didn’t have any ID.” Her voice came out sharper than she’d intended.
Lexi gazed at Savvy, her demeanor turning sullen. “It’s nothing.”
“Give it to me.”
“No.”
Savvy stood and glared down at the girl. “Now. Or I’ll call the police and let them get it.” Savvy used the same voice she had used on her twin brothers when they were young.
Lexi’s mouth pursed as though sucking on something sour. Slowly, she held the card up so Savvy could see. It was a new school identity card, the face without scratches, the edges unworn.
“Eighth grade?” Savvy asked with frustration. “So how old are you, huh? My brothers are in ninth, and they’re fourteen going on fifteen. That makes you thirteen, right?”
Lexi nodded, not meeting her eyes as she put the card away.
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth? No, don’t answer. I think I’m too mad to care right now. If you hadn’t lied, we might be in Utah right now with my family–the airline might have accepted this as ID. Instead, you’ve put me to a lot of trouble and expense.” Savvy stomped across the room and swept up her purse. “Well, at least it’s not too late to call and ask if that ID is enough to get you on a plane. Although with my luck, we’ll probably need a birth certificate or a parent’s signature.”
“I don’t want to go on a plane!” Lexi glared up at Savvy.
“Well, right now it doesn’t matter what you want.” Savvy left the bedroom, forcefully closing the door behind her, shutting Lexi inside.
Thirteen, the girl is only thirteen, she thought. She had known Lexi looked too young to be sixteen, but sixteen would have been old enough to decide a lot of things on her own. Thirteen made Savvy feel like a kidnapper.
In the kitchen, Savvy called her parents instead of the airline. Since they often flew places with Savvy’s younger siblings, they would likely know if Lexi’s school card would be adequate ID. They might also be able to give her advice about how to deal with her. The phone rang and rang, which meant that someone was on the line. But the caller ID would record her number and her parents would call back in a few minutes. Resting her head on her arms, she closed her eyes and thought about her options.
After a while it came to her that she should have confiscated Lexi’s ID card. The name of a state wasn’t listed, but the school had been–partially obscured by Lexi’s fingers. With that information, Savvy could have quickly found out where Lexi was from. In fact, her parents could have done an Internet search while she waited on the phone. Instead, she’d let her anger cloud her reasoning. Well, it wasn’t too late to rectify her mistake.
Savvy left the kitchen and went down the hall to the bedroom. The door was wide open, though Savvy had been sure she’d shut it when she left. What kind of game was Lexi playing? Maybe she didn’t like closed-in spaces. Opening her mouth to ask, Savvy walked inside.
Both Lexi and her backpack were gone.
Chapter Five
Tyler spent Friday evening changing the oil in Kerrianne’s van–the only vehicle between them that was large enough to carry everyone. He also checked all the other fluid levels, the tire pressure, and filled up the gas tank. For good measure, he took it through a car wash.
When he finally arrived home, it was past dinnertime and already dark. He walked in the door, thinking of LaNae and wondering if he should call her. Muffin the Mutt met him at the door, and Tyler could hear the other occupants of his brother’s house stirring, knowing that food was coming.
A zoologist, his brother loved animals. He had more pets than Tyler thought reasonable, but part of the “rent” Tyler paid was taking care of Mitch’s pets while he was out of the country. Tyler wasn’t overly attached to the creatures, but he knew how much little EmJay loved them, so what else could he do but agree to make sure they were waiting for her each time she returned home? Besides, the house payment was cheaper than anything else he’d come across and relatively close to his work–until he’d blown it by writing that last article.
Mitch and Cory would be home soon with EmJay, perhaps by the end of the month. Tyler hoped they’d hurry so he’d have some help with the house payments if he didn’t find a paying job in the next few weeks. He was glad that with the two new bedrooms and family room they’d added to the small house last year, there would be plenty of room for all of them.
Tyler fed the turtle, the dog, all forty-two gerbils, the chinchilla, the fish, the frogs, the guinea pig, and the lizard–most of whom lived in a specially ventilated spare room. The rabbits outside should still have plenty of feed. He was grateful Mitch had gotten rid of the cranky ferrets and hadn’t bought new hermit crabs when the last ones had died. “I won’t miss any of you when I move out of here,” he grumbled as he worked, though he knew it wasn’t quite true. At least they were company. And LaNae really loved Lady, the chinchilla.
LaNae. He needed to talk to her.
The house was quiet. Even Muffin had gone outside to the backyard through his new doggie door to investigate the bushes. Tartar the turtle had crawled under the couch. The silence seemed loud.
He considered calling LaNae but decided he’d better go to her apartment in Orem instead. If she wasn’t home, it would be a wasted trip, but if she was, she couldn’t hang up on him again.
The drive to Orem was quick, and LaNae opened the door after he rang the bell only once. She didn’t look surprised to see him. “Hi,” she said. She didn’t invite him inside.
“Look, I’m sorry about this afternoon.” A vision of her with the new guy at her work flashed in his mind, but he pushed it away. That had been his fault.
“Did you have a nice time at lunch?” Her voice was cool but not frozen.
He wasn’t even tempted to lie. His sisters always said he was too transparent. “Savvy didn’t come home. There were some problems.”
“Oh. So when is she coming home?”
“It’s a long story–do you want to hear it? If so, you’ll have to let me come inside.”
She gave him a tentative smile. “I don’t know if I want to hear. But you can come in anyway.”
Tyler stepped inside and followed LaNae to the couch. Thankfully, no roommates were in sight–not surprising on a Friday night. In the corner of the couch sat the white stuffed bear he had given LaNae for her birthday, and she took it into her lap as she sat down. A few moments of awkward silence passed. Tyler wondered how he was ever going to tell her about his trip to California
.
“Let’s just forget it all, okay?” LaNae smiled at him.
They could do that–if he didn’t bring up the trip. But Tyler knew that wouldn’t be quite honest.
“There’s still time to catch a late movie,” LaNae continued, scooting closer to him. “Want to go?”
He shook his head. “I have to get up early tomorrow.”
“Is it about your job? Because if so, I’ve been thinking. Is there any chance you could talk to your old boss and see if she might change her mind? I know you loved that job.”
“Not at the moment,” he said. “Chantel was pretty upset. And I don’t know if the Tribune has an opening. I might have to freelance for a while.”
“Freelance?” She wrinkled her nose.
“It might be fun. I could travel all over. I bet if I found a few really good stories, Chantel might even be impressed enough to rehire me at the paper–after this stink with the politician dies down, of course.”
“Travel? Where?” LaNae’s tone wasn’t pleased, and Tyler knew why. She was thinking about their future, and living out of the Jeep wasn’t exactly her idea of stability. His either, come to think of it, but there was enough adventure involved to make it sound somewhat attractive.
“Oh, I don’t know. Arizona, Washington, California. They have all kinds of things going on in California that interest people.”
“California. That’s where Savvy lives.” LaNae clenched her jaw and stared at him unwaveringly.
Too late, he realized that of course she would connect the state with Savvy. “It’s a big place,” he rushed on. “I could sell articles to different newspapers. There are a lot of possibilities.” He told himself that he hadn’t thought of California only because of Savvy. He hadn’t. Well, at least he wouldn’t admit to it in front of LaNae.
“Why California?” she asked.
“I haven’t really decided anything yet,” he said, though the idea of moving to California was sounding better and better. “I’m only thinking of California because I have the opportunity to go there this weekend, and I thought I’d put in a few resumes while I’m there.”
The muscles in her jaw worked, as though she was holding back words or maybe trying not to cry. “This has something to do with Savvy, doesn’t it?”
“Kind of.” Taking a breath, he explained the situation. “I’m just giving her and this new sister a ride back,” he finished. “Kerrianne’s going with me. We’ll be staying at her mother-in-law’s, not at Savvy’s.”
“I don’t want you to go.” LaNae’s voice had become as frigid as it had been in her office that morning. “Can’t Savvy find her own way back? She’s an adult, after all.”
“LaNae,” he agonized, hating the way she stared at him, “why is there a problem? I don’t understand. Savvy’s been good friends with my sister for years and my whole family as well. We’re bound to run into her occasionally. I know you’d really like her if you gave it a chance.”
“I don’t want to give it a chance.” LaNae’s voice was soggy now, like the bedding under the water bottle he’d filled in the gerbil cage earlier. “I want to be the first woman in your life. I want to matter more than anyone else. That’s all. Do you think that’s too much to ask?”
Tyler considered for a moment. He had known Savvy first, but that didn’t mean anything if LaNae was his future. He could honestly say that Savvy was only a friend, and yet . . . He swallowed hard. That “and yet” had him really worried. What could he say to LaNae that would both alleviate her fears and not betray his friendship with Savvy? He’d volunteered to go to California. He couldn’t go back on that now. Even if Savvy could fend for herself, Kerrianne was counting on him. To tell the truth, he didn’t want to back out of the deal. He needed to get out of Utah to clear his head. “No,” he said slowly, “it’s not too much to ask.”
“But . . .” she prompted, hearing the exception in his voice.
“But I’ll only be gone a few days. Kerrianne and her children need to visit Adam’s mom. I’m just helping everyone out.”
“I need you here.”
“Do you really?”
No answer.
“Look, California’s a nice place. Wouldn’t you like living there?”
“I don’t know. That depends on your real reason for choosing it.”
Tyler didn’t know how to reassure her. How could he when he didn’t know himself what his motives were? He wished desperately that he didn’t have to hurt her.
“Please, LaNae. I don’t know what else to say.”
LaNae stood abruptly, letting the bear in her lap fall to the couch. “I want you to choose. Savvy and California or me.”
“What?” Tyler gaped up at her.
“You heard me.”
“LaNae, that’s not reasonable!” He couldn’t believe this was happening. He jumped to his feet. “You need to trust me. Savvy has nothing to do with us–nothing!”
She put her hands on her hips, making Tyler want to cringe. “I’m tired of hearing about Savvy. Don’t you see? She’s the only thing we really ever fight about.”
That wasn’t exactly true. They fought about her dad, too, because he was so controlling, and occasionally about the late hours he worked.
“I thought it would be different once she moved to California,” LaNae rushed on, “but nothing’s changed. You still think about her and talk about her. Well, I’m finished fighting. Go see her. Go tell her about your job and reminisce about the good old days. But don’t pretend to me that you’re thinking about moving to California to find a job.”
“But I am!”
Her pale eyes met his. “I don’t believe it.”
“Even if I did end up moving to California, you’d have nothing to worry about. Savvy’s only a friend!”
“A girl friend,” LaNae retorted. “I’ve heard your sisters talk about how much she likes you. They think the only reason she moved to California was because you were dating me.”
“That’s not true!” Tyler leaned closer to LaNae. “Savvy left because she loves astronomy and Berkeley has a great program there.”
“Baloney!” Her arms shot out and grabbed the white bear from the couch. In the next second, she shoved it into his arms. “I’m tired of being the driving force in our relationship. You either want a future with me or you don’t. I’m not going to compete with Savvy. Now please leave.” She turned her back on him.
He looked down at the bear he’d given her what seemed like a lifetime ago. Its paws held a silky red heart that proclaimed, “I love you beary much!”
He knew he should give up the idea of going to California tomorrow, that he should go around to the local newspapers and try to find a job. LaNae would be happier. She would become her soft self, the woman he thought he loved. He’d never seen this side of her before.
He let the bear fall onto the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Tyler whispered. “I really am.”
Not knowing what else to do, he left.
Twenty-five minutes later, his cell phone rang as he was heading off the freeway. By the time he had his hands free enough to check who it was, the ringing had stopped. LaNae always hung up if he didn’t answer right away, not wanting to cause an accident when he was driving. Tyler immediately pulled over to the side of the road and called her back.
“Hi,” he said when she answered. “It’s me.” There was comfort in the phrase; someone knew him so well that he didn’t have to say his name.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what? For kicking me out on my ear or for me deserving it?”
She gave a half-hearted chuckle. “I think I overreacted, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
He could feel a “but” coming, just as she had felt his earlier.
“But I think maybe we need to date other people for a while. Until we decide what we really want.”
He sucked in a breath. “Why do I get the feeling this has more to do with you than with me and California?�
�
“Maybe it does.” She was silent a moment and then said, “Tyler, I love being with you. I enjoy everything we do, but I meant it when I say I’m the one who drives our relationship. Sometimes I wish you’d go after what you really want. Like you do with your job. I admire your drive. But where we’re concerned, you drag your feet. I think . . . well, maybe you’re not sure. I don’t want someone who’s not sure about me, so that makes me not sure about us, either.”
A tear slipped down Tyler’s cheek, which surprised him because he hadn’t cried in a long time. He swallowed hard. “Okay,” he said. “Maybe we should take a step back. Let’s talk about it when I come home.”
“I do care about you,” LaNae said.
“Me too.”
That was nice, but after nearly seven months and all they had been to each other, they should have been saying, “I love you.” He could feel her slipping away. What’s more, he wasn’t sure he wanted to stop her–and that made him feel worse.
He hung up the phone and drove home, more tears wetting his cheeks.
Chapter Six
The warm night smelled of orange blossoms and heat, though not the same kind of summer heat Lexi loved in Colorado. California was a lot like Arizona, and she was glad she didn’t live there anymore.
She ran down the deserted street, her flip-flops clacking against the blacktop. Her chest felt swollen from the inside out. She had made a mistake coming here–a big mistake–and she had no idea what to do next. What had she expected, that her sister would welcome her with open arms and immediately fall in with her plans? The woman had a life. A life that Lexi had no part in. Of course she wouldn’t be happy to see a problem like Lexi appear on her doorstep. After all, Savvy already had two younger sisters.
I so wanted a sister. Lexi could say the words to herself, though she felt they were a betrayal of her brother, who had always been her idol. She’d been close to admitting the words to Savvy in those moments alone in the bedroom. Too close, she thought. What she should have done was maintain a distance. Use Savvy for what she wanted but not become too involved.
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