Rock Me: A Rockstar Romance

by Wood, Vivian

  “Right,” she said, shaking her head.

  She hurried to fill his order, then placed three mugs before him. “It’s 10, please.”

  He dropped a twenty on the bar. He sipped one of the beers, then nodded. “I tried to take him to the Dirty Cur.”

  “Oh… I…” Remy said, blushing. “It’s fine.”

  Walker arched his brows but didn’t say anything. He picked up the mugs and returned to the booth, making room at the bar for a group of local men Remy’s age. Scott Brass, Jared Elsythe, Tim Brien, and a few others she didn’t know as well.

  “Hey, y’all,” she said, eyeing Scott, Jared, and Tim warily as they sat down before her. Not her favorite customers, truth be told. Good-looking, cocky jerks… and not in a good way.

  “Hey there, baby,” Jared drawled. “I see your boyfriend’s back in town. He gonna be mad that you’re so in love with me?”

  Remy huffed a laugh, trying not to roll her eyes. “Yeah, Jared. Real jealous.”

  “Mmhm, I thought so.”

  “Shut up, man,” Scott said. “Remy, can we get some shots and beers?”

  “Yep,” she said, shaking her head. She started to line up up their drinks.

  “Hey, here’s a question,” Scott said, a nasty grin on his face. “Does Sawyer know about you gettin’ knocked up? I bet he thinks you waited for him, all this time. Huh? Or does he know you spread your legs for some other guy?”

  Remy slammed the last shot of whiskey down on the bar. “Mind your own business, Scott.”

  “Awwww, he don’t know! Ah, this is so great. I can’t wait for Mr. Hero Soldier Prom King to find out what you did,” Scott chuckled.

  “You still mad that I wouldn’t go to prom with you, Scott Brass?” she asked as sweetly as she could manage.

  Scott glared at her, then smirked. “You know what just now occurred to me? Maybe you ain’t a slut, maybe it’s Sawyer’s bastard.”

  “Drink your beer,” Remy said, trying not to overreact. Scott didn’t know anything, he just wanted to get her goat.

  “Well, I’m just saying. Maybe a liar is better than a slut.”

  “Last warning,” she said, holding up a finger. “And if you ever call my kid a bastard again, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

  Scott’s eyes flashed, but he just grabbed his shot and beer and turned his back on her, muttering a curse.

  Remy released a pent-up breath, but she couldn’t relax. This was a nightmare scenario. Everyone in town knew she had a kid. Everyone but Sawyer, unless his brothers had filled him in.

  And if Sawyer found out, if he got even the slightest sense that Shiloh was his son…

  He could take over Remy’s whole life, maybe even sue for custody and take Shiloh away from her. Just like his father had promised, back when Remy was pregnant.

  Giving herself a mental shake, she moved down the bar to refill some more empty glasses.

  Between the hometown boys and the Roman brothers, Remy spent a lot of her night avoiding eye contact and ignoring heavy gazes. Every time she turned around, Sawyer was staring at her so intently that he was like to burn a hole through her shirt.

  Jared, on the other hand, spent the whole night staring at her ass. He even kept up a running commentary about it, growing bolder and more crass as the night wore on. Around ten, she turned around and found him behind the bar, standing far too close for her liking.

  “You know, Remy… I’m real good in the sack,” he said, drunk and dark-eyed.

  “Uh huh,” she said. “Get out from behind the bar, Jared.”

  She glanced over to find that Tim and Scott were distracted, turned away to ogle Arlene Thompson’s tan legs as she danced around the pool table in a short denim skirt.

  “I’m just saying, I always thought you and I should get horizontal. I’d blow your mind, little girl,” Jared said.

  He reached out and grabbed her by the elbow, pulling her closer.

  “Jared, don’t make me tell you again,” she warned, her heart starting to pound. “Turn me loose and go back to your seat.”

  “I like that sassy mouth,” he said with a grin. “Although I can think of other things I’d rather you do with it—”

  Then Jared yelped, because Sawyer Roman had wrapped a hand around the base of his neck, stabbing his thumb into a sensitive pressure point.

  “Let. Go,” Sawyer growled at Jared.

  “Damn, Sawyer!” Jared said as he let Remy’s arm drop. The second Remy was free, Sawyer did something that made Jared drop to his knees with a howl of pain.

  Scott and Tim and a few others started to move in, but Walker and Colt Roman had their brother’s back, sidling closer with twin expressions of not-messing-around. The whole bar seemed to go silent, everyone’s eyes glued to Sawyer and Jared.

  “You ever touch a woman against her will again, I will make you hurt,” Sawyer gritted out.

  He shoved Jared away, looking disgusted.

  “You’re crazy, man,” Jared said, springing to his feet. “You went over there to fight, but you didn’t come back right, man.”

  “You want to find out just how wrong I am?” Sawyer offered, stone-faced.

  “Naw. Hell, you two deserve each other,” Jared said, backing around the bar to escape. “Scott, Tim, let’s get out of here.”

  Remy watched them leave, belatedly realizing that she was trembling. She glanced at Sawyer, who watched her closely. Several things bubbled up in her mind at once.

  Thank you, and By the way, I had your baby, and I never want to see you again were amongst them.

  Instead, she blurted out, “You didn’t have to do that!”

  Sawyer didn’t even flinch.

  “Remy, I was hoping—” he started.

  “I have a lot of work to do,” she said, the words coming out as rudely as possible.

  He hesitated, then nodded and moved back toward the booth with his brothers. Hands shaking, Remy went about refilling drinks and wiping down the bar.

  The whole time, in the back of her mind, all she could think about was the day that Arlo Roman had showed up at her house, wanting to talk.

  6

  She was seven months pregnant with Shiloh by that point, and hadn’t even been in town for weeks because she was half out of her mind with equal parts shame and heartache.

  Arlo found her walking a little patch right between the River and Roman property line, picking blackberries. She was sweating hard, and kept eating more berries than what actually made it into her wicker basket.

  “So it’s true,” Arlo said, making her jump.

  She straightened up from the bramble, turning to find Sawyer’s father behind her, mounted on horseback. He and Sawyer could have been twins, if not for the age difference and the fact that Arlo always looked as sour as if he was chewing on lemons.

  “Colonel Roman,” she said, nodding to him. Trying to pretend he hadn’t scared the daylights out of her, wishing she could slink behind a bush and hide.

  Sawyer’s father had always made her feel nervous, made her feel self-conscious of how poor her family was compared to the Romans. Now, heavily pregnant, she felt like she’d proved him right, having a baby out of wedlock like this.

  He swung down from his horse, holding the reins loosely in one hand and sweeping his hat off his head with the other. He wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt, then gave her a long look.

  “How far along are you?” he asked.

  “Oh,” she said, looking down. “Um, about seven months.”

  “Mmhm,” he said, staring at her as if he could look right through her. “Funny how that coincides with the last time my son was in town.”

  “Oh,” she said again, going red. “I, uh… I don’t know.”

  Lame, but it was the best she could do.

  “How much?” Arlo asked.

  “Sorry?” she said, glancing up at him.

  “Just give me a number. How much do you need to make this go away?” he asked.

  “Go… awa
y?” she asked, giving him a confused look.

  “Yeah. You, the baby, whatever,” he said, flapping a hand. “All of it.”

  “I’m not really sure what you’re saying, sir. I think I should be getting home,” she said, clearing her throat and turning to leave.

  Arlo’s hand clamped her shoulder like a vise, making her freeze.

  “A number,” he said, spinning her around.

  “Um… there’s no… it’s…” she mumbled, then shook her head. “It’s… not Sawyer’s baby.”

  The lie surfaced out of nowhere, and it was out of her mouth before she could even think about it. Arlo released her with a smirk.

  “You’re a bad liar, Remy.”

  “Well, it’s true,” she said, growing stubborn.

  He reached in his pocket and pulled out a checkbook. Producing a pen, he started making out a check.

  “Sir…” she tried.

  “I think $20,000 ought to suffice,” he said.

  “I… what?” she asked, taken aback.

  “Consider it… a trust, for the child. Babies are expensive, and your family isn’t exactly flush with cash,” Arlo said, signing the check with a flourish.

  He ripped it from the checkbook and offered it to Remy. When she only stared at him, he dropped it into her basket.

  “Take the money. Forget we ever talked about this,” he said.

  “I don’t want anything from you,” she said.

  “Well, I want my son not to have knocked up some barefoot farmer’s daughter, but we don’t all get what we want,” he said, pulling the reins over the horse’s head.

  He gripped the pommel of the saddle, ready to mount again, then paused. When he looked back at her, Arlo Roman was deadly serious.

  “If you try to come after us for support, or you involve Sawyer in any way, I will hire the best damned lawyer in the state. I’ll come after you. Take the kid, take the farm. Hell, I’ll get you locked in an institution before I let you ruin my son’s future.”

  Remy felt herself crumple, her shoulders sagging. Arlo mounted, swinging his leg over to sit on the horse. He stared down at her for another moment.

  “Don’t contact Sawyer again, Remy. Keep that bastard of yours out of sight. And you’d better cash that check, or I’m going to come calling. Our next conversation won’t be so pleasant.”

  With that, he put his hat back on and rode away, leaving Remy gaping after him…

  7

  Back in the bar, Remy thought she might be sick. She worked through it, keeping her head down, drowning in her own thoughts.

  By midnight, the bar was nearly empty but for a couple of older regulars. The Romans were gone, thank the Lord.

  Tossing a towel onto the bar, she excused herself and went out back. Sitting on a stack of milk crates, she leaned her head back against the rusting tin wall and tried to breathe.

  She’d barely had a full minute to herself when she heard, “Remy.”

  Her eyes snapped open. Sawyer was walking toward her; she could see his flashy black SUV idling in the parking lot. He moved toward her like a prowling jungle cat, big and sleek and muscular. In well-worn jeans and a tight white t-shirt, he could have been walking off of a movie set instead of hanging out in middle-of-nowhere Catahoula.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” she said, pushing up to stand.

  “Hey, I come in peace,” he said, raising both hands. He stopped a few feet away, respecting her space.

  “Well, I have nothing to say,” she said. “Well, except maybe thank you, for earlier.”

  “It was nothing,” he said.

  She pursed her lips and watched him. He crossed his arms and stared her down. When she didn’t speak, he looked frustrated.

  “Why are you mad at me?” he asked.

  Remy scowled. “Who says I’m mad?”

  “This isn’t really how we… connect,” he said, frowning.

  “We don’t connect, Sawyer. You don’t live here anymore.”

  “I do now,” he said, stopping her cold. “And I don’t want there to be bad blood. I’d rather there be something way better between us.”

  His words were heated, sending a little chill down her spine. She could imagine just what he might mean by something better… imagine it in vivid, heart-pounding detail.

  “Sawyer, you should leave.”

  “What if I don’t want to, darlin’?”

  Remy didn’t have a response for that, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. The dark look in his eyes did things to her, made her weak in the knees and… hot. So, so hot, she was almost sweating just from standing this close to him.

  Why does this man make me so vulnerable? she wondered.

  “Remy,” he said, drawing her name out like Rayyyyy-meee. She shivered; she’d always loved the sound of her name on Sawyer’s lips.

  “Sawyer, what do you want?” she asked softly.

  “I want things to be like they were,” he said.

  “Oh, yeah? How were things, before?” she challenged.

  “Well… we were friends, at least,” he said, starting to look uncomfortable. How typical of a man his age, using the word friend to describe a relationship that was so, so much more.

  “I don’t want to be your friend, Sawyer. And I need to get back inside,” she said. She turned toward the back door.

  “Wait, Remy. Please,” he said.

  That one word, please, had her turning back to him. His expression was puzzled and hurt, his eyes shining with some unnamed emotion.

  “Is this because I didn’t write?” he asked. “I thought you understood.”

  “Understood?” she asked.

  “That when I was deployed with the SEALs, I didn’t get much chance to write. I know I only sent you a few letters…” he said.

  Remy’s heart dropped. She’d never received any letters, not that it would have mattered.

  “Sawyer, it’s not that,” she said, wishing she could turn around and just run away from the whole conversation.

  “So, what is it?” he asked, a little bit of pleading in his tone now.

  “It’s… not… there’s nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “There’s nothing between us, there’s just… nothing to talk about.”

  “I don’t understand. I mean, I didn’t expect you to wait for me, but you’re here, and if you’re not married—”

  She had to end this, and quick.

  “I don’t want to talk about this,” she interrupted. “In fact, I don’t want to talk at all. Just… leave me alone, Sawyer. Find a new friend.”

  His expression darkened at her tone. “Remy…”

  “Goodnight, Sawyer,” she said, forcing herself to walk away and close the door behind herself.

  When she got back to the front of the bar, it was empty, a few scattered bills on the counter from the regulars who’d left. Relieved, Remy locked up and broke down the bar setup.

  She held herself together through the whole thing, swallowing down all the pain threatening to rise inside.

  Be strong, she told herself. Be strong for Shiloh.

  She finished everything else and grabbed the mop, working it over the floor in hard circles, trying to exorcise the darkness growing in her chest. As she bent low to get underneath one of the tables, giving the whole place the best cleaning it’d probably ever had, she twisted the mop oddly.

  “Ow!” she cried, yanking her hand back. A big splinter had split off and jabbed into her palm, blood already welling around it.

  She dropped the mop, prying the splinter free and sucking at the tiny cut. Tears welled up in her eyes, though it didn’t hurt that badly.

  This is nothing, compared with how I’ll feel if Sawyer finds out about Shiloh.

  That thought proved to be too much, after all she’d been through in the last few hours. She could feel it all bubbling up inside, the pain and sorrow that she so badly needed to release.

  At least here, at The Speckled Hen, no one would see her break down.

/>   Remy sat down at the booth, hung her head, and finally let herself cry.

  8

  “Still moping about Remy?”

  Sawyer looked up from his spot at the kitchen table to find Colt sauntering into the kitchen. His brother was fresh from the shower, but he had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days.

  “You look like hell,” Sawyer said. “Didn’t you go to bed at the same time as me and Walker?”

  Colt smirked and shrugged as Walker came in, catching the tail end of Sawyer’s words.

  “A hundred bucks says Colt was at some lucky divorcee’s house until the wee hours,” Walker said, opening a cabinet in search of a coffee cup. “Where are the cups? Three months here, and I still can’t find a single thing in this kitchen.”

  “To the left of the sink,” Colt said. “And we weren’t talking about me. We were discussing whether Sawyer is just grappling with his hangover, or whether he’s mooning over Remy River.”

  Sawyer snorted and shook his head. “No way, Colt. I don’t want any bad blood between me and Remy, especially considering the fact that we need a handshake agreement with her father to keep sharing land and water rights.”

  “So you didn’t drive back to see her after we came home last night?” Walker asked, handing Colt a mug and pouring coffee in his own.

  “Well… just to set things right,” Sawyer said. “I don’t have to defend myself to you two. Mr. Catahoula’s Prime Manwhore over here, and… Walker, I don’t even want to know how long it’s been since you got laid.”

  Walker’s answering scowl made Sawyer chuckle. “That’s what I thought.”

  “That’s a low blow,” Walker said.

  Sawyer shrugged. “It’s been four years, Walker. Nobody in the world has more sympathy than me, I promise. But you’ve stopped living your life.”

  “And you’re hung up on your high school sweetheart,” Walker shot back, setting his coffee cup down so hard it sloshed coffee onto the kitchen counter.

  “I’m not hung up on Remy,” he insisted. “There are other fish in the sea.”

  “And yet, I get the sense that you’re not exactly leaving anyone behind in D.C. No one expected you to find a new girl when you were deployed, but for the year since you’ve been back… nothing?” Colt asked, sipping his coffee.