“How do you know about that?” he asks, his voice shooting up a couple of pitches. “Please don’t tell her, I want to surprise her.”
I smile smugly to myself, “Do this for me and my mouth will stay shut.”
I think I hear his hand connect to his forehead just before he groans, “Fine. I’ll ask him and then let you know.”
I hang up and dance into the bedroom to get ready. I’m excited about this, like some weight is lifting from my shoulders.
The club is heaving when we arrive.
I wasn’t anxious about tonight, not until I stepped through the doors here. The time seemed to fly by as I got ready, picking out a dress that I’d had ages and never worn. A cute dusky pink bandage dress that looped around my arms and shoulders. It perked me up when I looked in the mirror and for once felt like I could hold my head high. I liked what I saw, and I wasn’t scared over what was happening. I was eager and damned sure that I’d make Kyle regret the moment he decided to lose me.
Nicole, Abigail and I have visited a few bars on the way and sampled their finest wines, destroying our sober state one glass at a time.
There is a bar that lines the right side, completely swamped by people and in front of us is the DJ’s booth. It’s dark except from the strobe lights that are dancing around the floors and walls, along with all the drunken party goers. It’s buzzing with life and no signs of stopping anytime soon.
Music is blaring from the speakers above us, the ceiling ornaments of stars and horses swinging with the noise. My body is tingling from the vibrations and the wine.
We make our way to the bar and order a round. Checking the time I can see that Kyle should be arriving any moment now, if he’s not here already. I’d clearly never find him in the crowd.
Ryan texted me not long after the phone call telling me that he’d sorted it and that the club had an upstairs to it with a few private seating booths. He’s arranged for Kyle to meet him there, as well as another warning about my alcohol driven mouth. Oops!
Nicole hands me a glass of wine and a shot, I raise an eyebrow at her. “Do you want to be carrying me home tonight?” I shout into her ear so that she has any chance of hearing me.
“Sure do, now less yacking and more downing” She shouts back. Sign language would be a good option tonight. I just hope that the booths are quieter.
We all clink shot glasses and down them, the burn as it slides down my throat only fuels my need to get this crap over and done with.
We squeeze through the crowd, people spilling drinks as we nudge them out the way, in the hope of finding some ground space to set up camp for a little while longer. When we do, we just watch the people dancing away, and by dancing I mean gyrating over one another and making out. As I do, I notice a certain someone climbing the stairs at the far end and know that the time has come. I down my wine and hand Abigail the empty glass.
She looks at me surprised, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline. “Wow, thirsty?” she shouts.
“A little. I’ll be back in few, wait here.” Pointing to the floor so they don’t move from this spot, because I may just lose them.
Maneuvering through all the people, I grip to my clutch. It might not hold much to the people here, but to me, it’s my future and it’s not getting lost or stolen by anyone.
When I reach the bottom of the stairs I take a huge breath. I’m not sure if it’s to calm the nerves or to prepare myself for seeing him. The office is one thing, but here it’s like I’m unprotected by formality. And on this occasion, I have to speak to him.
I climb the stairs with shaky legs, each one feeling more and more like Jell-O as I climb. I can’t not do this. I won’t do it at work because I won’t be under the influence, so it has to be now.
At the top, I push through a heavy glass door and immediately revel in the feeling of space. While I glance down the line of booths, I think for a second that he’s hidden somewhere, but then spot a leg sticking out. Thankfully he has his back to me so he won’t see me coming and run away. It takes me a moment, too, for my hearing to adjust to the quietness up here. It’s still dark, and the music is playing softer. Glass windows stop any of the noise from downstairs traveling up to this level. It’s like I’ve gone deaf.
Marching over in his direction I breathe heavily through my nose. Anyone would think I’m heading into battle, but I guess I am—my own personal war.
I sit down with a thump in the space opposite him, the cold red leather a shocking contrast to the burning skin on the backs of my thighs. I notice him roll his eyes as he goes to get up. “Don’t you dare walk away from me. I don’t want to be in the same space as you just as much as you don’t me, but you are going to give me fifteen minutes to say what I need to. After that, you can do what the hell you like, I don’t care if I see you again or not.”
He doesn’t say anything, just twists back around to face me, his jaw locked as he stares at me, playing with a glass between both hands.
“Listen, I don’t know where we went wrong in all this, but I’m done. I tried to keep away from you so that I wouldn’t get hurt, but that backfired.”
Kyle leans forward, his forearms resting against the white table. “You, hurt? Don’t make me laugh. I should have realized you were no better than any of the others, you just had to play a game along with it.” His head twisting sideways as he looks at me with cold, analyzing eyes.
“I am, Kyle, and as for a game; there wasn’t one. I was actually protecting me from you.”
He snarls at me as he shakes his head. “I just can’t believe I let you play me, actually made me care about someone other than myself for a change. I put myself out there, I didn’t care about anyone else but you. And then you go and ruin everything.”
“I did nothing wrong Kyle. We could both sit here and blame each other for all this mess —even though it’s you, who’s in the wrong —or we can get this over with.”
Sitting back he waves at me mockingly. “Say what you have to, I just want to get this over with now, Ryan will be here soon…I could do with a few drinks after this.”
“I doubt it, I asked him to ask you. Unless he is actually coming out then I wouldn’t count on it.” I smile smugly as I watch his face drop. Putting my clutch on the table I get out the envelope that holds everything I need and slide it over the table.
He looks at it dubiously before tearing it open, reading the letter by using the light on his cell. The whole time my legs are bouncing under the table from nerves, as my heart beats ten times faster than it should. I wanted this so I shouldn’t be nervous.
His head shoots up, his eyes narrowing. “What’s this?” he snaps.
“My resignation. I wanted it to start from Monday and I didn’t want to do it sober in case I backed out.”
“Why?” he shouts, slamming the paper onto the table, turning his drink into a stormy sea.
My mouth pops open, has he forgotten this past week? “Why? Because I want to start again, I don’t want to have connections to you.”
He shakes his head again and gives a short laugh, one that sounds more like a bitter sigh than anything else. He picks up the letter again, his eyes scanning over the words as his tongue skims over his lower lip…I’m going to miss that tongue.
Looking over the top of the paper he glares at me. “So that’s it, you get what you want and leave? I can’t believe I fell for everything you said about us, about not wanting to ruin the old us…did you have all this planned from day one?”
Staring at him, showing no emotion what so ever I say, “I got what I wanted? Me? Hardly! And as for planning this, yeah this exactly what I wanted. This is what I wanted to happen when I moved out here, to accidentally bump into you and have you ruin us.” I reply sarcastically. I’m starting to get confused about how he can blame me for all of this.
“Yes, got what you wanted,” he says, throwing the letter at me. I grab it and slam it back on the table for him before he continues, “ten thousand won’t keep you for
ever, or were you planning on trying to get some more out of me?”
Grinding my teeth together I go back in my clutch and grab the straightened out but still seriously creased check. “This? Is this what you think I want?” I ask slamming that on top of the letter. “I don’t want your fucking money, Kyle. And you have till next week to get them damn couches taken away and I’ll throw the dress and jewelry out if you don’t want them. Unless you plan on recycling them.” By the end I’m seething, hot air steaming from my nose as my chest battles to keep up with the pace of my aggressive breathing.
He picks up the check and then looks at me, still showing no emotion towards me. I can only imagine how much Josie has gotten under his skin already. I mean nothing. He gently, for a change, places it back on the table before looking at me, his eyes analyzing my face as he asks, “I’m surprised you haven’t deposited it yet, or are you waiting till you need it?”
I slam my hand on the table as I lean in closer, wishing I hadn’t because he smells so good. “Need it? I never wanted it in the first place but that stupid whore made me take it and wouldn’t take it back,” I snap. “Keep your money and spend it on your girlfriend. F.Y.I.—next time you want some dirty work done, don’t send the person you’re currently sleeping with to see your old hookup. It’s not big, or clever,” I state as I go to get up because I’ve said what I need to and rather than feeling fresh and cleansed, I feel sick, like a part of my life just ended—again.
Kyle grabs my arm and pulls me back into the seat. “What now?” I ask as I pull my arm free.
He looks at me again, chewing on his bottom lip, “Josie gave you this, right?” pointing to the check.
I throw my hands up in disbelief and roll my eyes at the fact he stopped me for this. “Yes. Josie, Whore, Bitch Face—I have plenty of names for her.”
“Okay,” he nods. “I’m confused about the whole ‘currently sleeping with’ comment, I’ve never touched her, never have, never will.”
My hands find the edge of the seat, gripping firmly to it to stop me punching him. “Kyle, don’t bullshit me, I’m not stupid.”
“I’m not,” holding his hands up in surrender. “I swear on my Mom and Dad’s life, I’ve never touched her.”
Leaning forward, still gripping the material in my hands I tell him through gritted teeth, “Don’t try and make me out as some kind of idiot, I know what I saw and yes, granted, I may have just assumed that you two slept together but when two people are curled up in bed together, naked…you think the fucking worst.”
His eyes shoot out of his head, or near as, damn it. “Back it up a minute. I’m lost…completely fucking lost. Who was I supposedly in bed with?”
“Josie!” I shout. “I saw you Kyle! I came around as you asked, ready to crawl in beside you because I stupidly missed you and there you were…asleep in bed with her wrapped around you. Were you too preoccupied to cancel on me?”
His expression is one of shock as he asks, “When did I ask you to come around?”
“Tuesday. You texted me about nine saying you missed me and wanted to see me, don’t try and worm your way out of this now.”
He sits quietly, continuing to chew on his reddening lip. “I didn’t text you, I can’t have.”
I groan in disbelief as I grab my cell out my purse and find the texts. Passing it to him, I let him see them to back myself up. “In black and white —so to speak.”
He glances through the messages before picking up his phone and starts scrolling through his own texts, with a shrug he hands it to me saying, “There is nothing on mine, I didn’t text them to you.”
I groan in disbelief, “You see them, right?” tapping the table at the side on my phone. “You do see them, they’re from your number and I’m not bullshitting like you?”
Nodding, he looks through the messages again. “So let me get this straight, I texted, you came around and found me and Josie in bed together?” he asks, squirming in his seat nervously.
“Yes,” I say loud enough to get the point across without shouting.
He hands me back my phone and collects his, shoving it in his jeans pocket. “And that’s why you’re pissed at me?”
“Pissed?” I mockingly laugh, “I’m furious, I fucking hate you Kyle. If you two want to be with each other then fine but you could have just told me and I sure as hell don’t need her coming to see me, handing me a check to, ‘get over you,’ while telling me that you two started over a God damn spider.”
His eyebrows deeply furrow. “Is that what she told you?”
“Yes!”
Sitting back he picks up his drink and downs the dark contents. “You want to hear my side of the story?”
“No, can’t say that I do…you gave me a check Kyle, that speaks volumes.”
“Not for that, I didn’t,” he growls. “We were talking and drinking wine,” he starts and I roll my eyes wanting to escape another retelling of the story, but I stay put; a glutton for punishment. “She asked about the trip and I told her, and at about eight I started getting really tired, so I went to bed. That’s it.
“The next morning, when I finally woke up, she started the conversation up again and said that you were just after my money. We had an argument and I defended you, said that she was being stupid because you would never do that, it’s just not you. Anyway, she tried to convince me into testing you. I thought it was stupid and I wasn’t going to, but she wouldn’t shut up about it. In the end, I realized that I trusted you and if it made her shut the hell up, I’d do it. I wrote it and sent her on her way.”
“When she got home she said you’d taken it and it killed me. I didn’t want to believe it, but she promised that she hadn’t tried to trick me and I believed her. She’s never done anything to make me doubt her in the past.”
“Just like that?” I ask. “You just took what she’d said and believed it? Didn’t think to call me and ask about it? So, all of those years we were together meant nothing, you didn’t think about the person I am? You just wiped that from your head and believed her!”
“Cat! I wasn’t thinking straight. I was tired, I was hurt and had a banging headache because of her constant whining. It was stupid of me, but yes, I believed her. You said you weren’t the same person and it’s been eight years since I saw you, I didn’t know if that was what had changed. I just thought you’d turned into one of those selfish women. If I could go back, I would. I’d do anything right now if it meant that you would stop looking at me like you hated me. I shouldn’t have believed her and I swear I never will again, but what I’m telling you is the truth. I promise I didn’t sleep with her and I promise I never wanted you to have the check. I should have talked to you about it rather than assume the worst.”
I’m looking at him and trying to figure the story out—do I believe him or assume that it’s the same old shit that men say when they’re in the wrong. Excuses and lies. He’s calmed down a lot and the coldness has left his eyes, but I can’t decide what to do. So I go with the easy option for now. “That’s a touching story, but I no longer care. I want an answer Monday on this, though,” sliding the letter across the table again and getting up. “Have a good night,” I say, leaning down from the side of the booth to get in his face, my heart aching but my face as stern as it will possibly go. “From now on Kyle, keep away from me. I don’t know what the truth is, but I’m done with the crap that follows you around. No matter who you end up with, they will always have a nagging doubt in their head. It’s easier to just assume the worst with people like you.” Straightening back up I give him a condescending smile before turning and walking towards the stairs.
I scurry out of the private area, thankful for the noise, now, as I run down the stairs saying a quiet prayer to God in my head to not let me fall over. Dodging through the crowd I find Nicole and Abigail. They haven’t moved. As I head towards them, I give them the biggest smile ever, hoping that I give nothing away about the fact that a huge, gaping hole now resides in my chest. I get
their attention and point to the bar to tell them that’s where I’m heading now.
Shuffling through the people to get to the bar, not bothered about pushing in, I find a spot, a guy comes over and takes the order of some guy next to me. I glance his way as he orders a beer and a couple of Jacks and recognize him instantly. “Ben, right?” nudging his shoulder with mine to get his attention.
He glances at me with furrowed brows and I want to recoil at the fact he doesn’t recognize me. But then again maybe if I was a gross mess, he would. “Do I know you?” he asks.
“Not really,” I stutter, because well, he doesn’t. “We met at the gym, can’t punch right…” I say in a hope that it jogs his memory.
He squints his eyes at me for a moment and then, “Oh yeah, I remember.” Instantly his face lights up.
The bartender comes over and hands him his drinks before turning to me. I ask for a glass of wine and four surprise shots. I’m not bothered what I drink as long as I can get drunk, completely irresponsible, but for tonight I don’t care.
“You out with the guys?” I shout, pointing at the drinks.
“No,” shaking his head. “These are mine, women trouble.”
I nod in understanding. “Ooh, I see. She being a pain in the ass?”
“Something like that,” he snorts, “decided she wants to see other people after five years…So I thought I’d drown my sorrows.”
The bartender returns and I hand him the money as well as moving two shots in front of Ben. “How about a toast to being single and forgetting about the other species.” I smile.
He nods and juts his bottom lip out. “Sounds good to me.”
We toast the shot glasses and down them both one after the other. I want to chuck the red and green liquid back up but I think that would be the worst possible way to ruin the night, and it’s only just starting. Smashing the glasses back onto the bar, shaking my head trying to get rid of the sicky feeling. “That’s disgusting.”
Coming Home (Only Time Will Tell #1) Page 19
