Ben laughs at me as he hands me one of his Jacks. “Sure is. You having guy trouble, I take it then,”
“Something like that. Didn’t really get past the first few days though. It’s complicated.”
I search the surrounding crowd to see if he’s close by, but he isn’t. I lean in closer to Ben and ask, “Want to go and dance?”
“Sure do, babe,” he replies, downing his Jack and smiling roguishly.
I smile back and shake my head, quickly drinking the glass of wine before I lead him onto the dance floor.
As soon as we find a spot I let the words of the song overtake me, ready to have fun and not care about life or the people around me. It’s just Ben and me for the time being. I’m not going to worry about him being in the same room as me, if he’s stayed that is.
I dance with Ben, making up for all of the years I chose to study and work to get back over here rather than partying, unlike every other eighteen year old around me, although I had a few added extra reasons compared to some of them.
While I’m dancing, I notice Nadine waving her hands above her head. I wave back and she starts motioning with her hand across her neck, the universal sign to cut it out. I look at the others and notice Kyle standing with them. Brilliant, that’s me not going back to them while he’s there.
My focus turns to Ben as I see his head roll backwards and a groan leaves his lips, “This is all I need.”
I look behind me and search for something obvious and see nothing. “Is everything okay?”
“She’s here,” he states as he looks back at me. “I don’t think I can cope with her searching for a replacement in front of me.”
“Don’t let it bother you. Besides, she’s going to look over here and see you dancing with me, and it’s going to hurt her a little bit,” I say, pinching my finger and thumb together.
His brows furrow as he processes my words, “You think so?”
“I know so,” I state, as I dance a little closer. It killed me seeing Kyle with all those women.
The beat gets under my skin and a huge grin spreads across my face as we dance with no cares, not really.
Ben’s hands travel up my body and I throw my head back laughing as it tickles and feels alien. While my neck’s exposed he places a few kisses up the length of it.
My head shoots back upright and I look at him with a questioning brow. He shrugs, like it’s normal and acceptable, yet it makes me feel antsy. Still, I’m young and single, I should be having fun. I raise my hands in the air I jump around and just try to enjoy the moment.
He pulls me closer and dips his head into my ear and says, “Sorry, I caught her looking this way, I just did it.”
Pulling back I look at him and smile. At least he apologized.
I can’t stop dancing after that, and I don’t want to either. I’m having a blast. It’s a wonder I’ve managed to stay on my feet in these heels with the jumping around that I’m doing but I’d happily take a fall on my ass. Singing along, I dance like this is my last night on earth.
After a while, I can feel my body becoming exhausted. I haven’t stopped, or left the dance floor for anything and it’s safe to say, this burst of energy is wearing out. I’m ready for leaving but I really don’t want the night to be over. I look over towards Nod who’s watching me like a hawk, along with Kyle and it takes a lot to not smile. Stepping close to Ben, I shout in his ear making him jump. “I’m leaving, I don’t think I can handle nights out like I thought.”
He tips his head back and gives me a puzzled look. “Already? It’s still early.”
“You must be able to handle all of this. I’m not used to it, it’s nearly killed me.” I laugh. “But thanks for keeping me occupied for a while, I really appreciate it.”
His mouth tips up and he shakes his head, grabbing my wrist at the same time. “You’re not going yet, just one more song and then I’ll walk you home, or whatever.”
I really don’t think my feet will hack much more, but what’s the worst that can happen during one song? “Fine!” I shout, rolling my eyes. I go to step away from him but his hand tightens around my wrist.
“Sorry,” he winces. “She’s behind you and as juvenile as this sounds, I don’t want her to know that this is fake. I swear to, God,” he shouts placing his hand over his heart, “I will not, overstep the mark.”
Now I really want to go home, but the poor guy looked a mess earlier, in the sense that you could see that he’d recently become single. “Just make sure your hands, and lips this time, behave.”
He doesn’t answer but the smile on his face could light up this room, an invisible weight vanishing from his shoulders.
Ben seems to become a different person, really moving to the song, pulling me closer and resting his forehead against mine as he starts singing the song at top of his lungs. It’s hard not to laugh at him as he becomes possessed by the lyrics. It’s not hard though, I could sing this to Kyle and mean every word of it. Fuck it. For the final song, I’m forgetting about him. It’s pissing me off that he keeps jumping into my thoughts.
I wrap my arms around Ben’s neck and practically mold my body to his. He lifts his head and raises a brow. “What?”
“I thought you said I had to behave?”
“You are, we are. We’re just dancing. Stop worrying and keep moving.”
His shoulders hit my arms as he shrugs and gets right back to the seductive movements he’s got going on.
A smile spreads across my face, a true smile. Not one that’s forced or for the benefit of the person and situation. It feels like freedom has swooped down on me. I’ve broken free of the bull that lurked in the corners of my mind whenever I thought of being with Kyle. For once I’m being normal, broken and hurt inside, but as normal as a twenty five year old can be.
I glance out at the crowds of people and see everyone else just enjoying themselves, and that right there, is a reason for living. Life can hurl as much as it wants at you but you have to fight through it. In my case, I’m fighting for me and showing that I have enough power in me to fight for Kody, too. He’s gone but not forgotten and will live within me for eternity.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a commotion by the side of the dance floor. It grabs my attention and I quickly realize I wish it hadn’t. Ryan is holding Kyle back as they both scream at each other. Nod tries to get in between them. I feel a bit bad that I’ve dragged those two into it, but I never imagined him staying. I can almost see a vein pop out of his neck as his arm flies out and point in my direction, my knees quiver at the sight of him this mad. I’ve never seen him like this, ever!
I stop dancing as Kyle turns to look at me, the look he shoots my way is almost demonic. Hell, I wonder how he’d feel if he saw what I saw. That is definitely something that would warrant a mood like that.
Life starts moving in slow motion as I see Ryan lose his grip on Kyle’s shirt and he makes the first few steps over towards us. My heart kicks into gear, beating as fast as my legs are shaking. I grab hold of Ben’s neck to get his attention and scream, “We’re leaving, now!”
He looks over his shoulder and must see Kyle, “That’s him? Shit! Come on,” he instructs as he grabs hold of my hand. “Out of all the people in the world, it had to be him.” He doesn’t shout much more, his face screwing up like he’s chewing on a bee. He pulls me through the crowd and towards the exit, people being shoved out the way as he takes no prisoners when it comes to escape. Bless him, he’s doing a lot for someone he barely knows.
I can still hear my name being shouted. Kyle’s voice is echoing, screaming in my head hours after he’d followed us out. Thankfully, I think, I was hidden well enough for him to find me. His anger scared me to a point, and I also didn’t want Kyle to get a hold of Ben. He was innocent in all of this.
We hid in the ally until I was sure that Kyle had gone, only then did we take on an escape that would compete against a Mission Impossible movie.
Ben took me to a pizza restaurant not f
ar from the club, with me looking like a hooker mixed in with normal people, but I just took a deep breath and held my head high. We talked about everything that had just unfolded and I explained my situation, happy to have someone from the outside world analyze it and not myself, or people who knew us. He admitted that he believed Kyle to be a womanizer, but the fact we had a past that only me and him understood, I had to evaluate everything—evaluate our past and everything that I know. He believed that sometimes it’s easier to just take the bad and breed it into something else. That, although what I’d seen was bad, I had to take into account what Kyle had said and done leading up to that. I had to think about what he thought of Josie and if I honestly believed he’d go there.
In the end, it turned into speaking to a male version of Nod. He told me that only I was able to distinguish the truth from a lie. Instead of jumping the gun and taking it at face value, I had to speak to him and find out the truth, because for all I knew, it could have been a set up.
I sat for ages, nibbling on cold pizza as I thought about it, only to come to the conclusion that although he was right, I should have spoken to him. I couldn’t see how the event had been a set up. He’d text me asking me to go over and then jumped into bed with her, forgetting about me completely.
It’s a slow and steady walk back to the apartment. The night sky slowly lifts before our eyes as we welcome the new day and I’ve not even slept yet. About half way back I’ve had enough of the heels though and they soon came off. Whose great idea was it to put women in heels? I’m assuming a man, along with the fact that we should endure every other female problem in life.
Finally making it back to the apartment complex, I sag against the window and put my shoes back on; I’m going to do the walk of shame properly if I’m going to do it. We exchange numbers too. I’ve enjoyed my eventful night even if I felt like Ben would probably take the brunt of Kyle if he chose to do something and he finds him.
Walking through the lobby I give the woman behind the desk a meek smile, but rather than getting a scrutinizing look, I get the “been there, done that,” look.
I exit the elevator and fumble in my purse for my keys. As I approach the door, a lone figure slumped on the floor to the side of it. His hands clutch the back of his head as he rests his elbows on his knees. He slowly lifts his head, looking at me with hooded eyes that show how worried he’s been and guilt fills to the pit of my stomach.
I want to try and find the words to say to him in the hope of “talking it out,” but my tongue is like lead.
“Where the hell have you been?” he asks as I walk around him and unlock the door. He jumps up from the floor, grabbing my elbow, turning me to look at him.
I gape like a fish as I tried to think of something to say…but nothing.
“Do you even know what time it is?”
Yanking my elbow free I search my purse and check my phone but it’s dead. Walking into the apartment, finally, I find a clock and realize it’s past five in the morning.
Kyle threw his hands in the air irritably, “Cat! Will you talk to me?” He follows me inside. “I’ve been worried sick all night!”
He storms over when I didn’t reply. He shakes me by the shoulders slightly as he informs me again, “Nothing happened between me and Josie.”
“You would say that,” I reply, batting his hands off of me.
“Cat please, you have to listen to me,” he pleads, raking his hands through his hair, hair that looks like it’s been left out to dry during a tornado. I can only imagine that this isn’t the first time in the evening he’d done that.
“Kyle, I don’t know what to believe. I physically saw you two and that image is burnt into my eyes. It’s all I see when I close them and it hurts. You’ve hurt me so many times in the past already, I don’t want to add to that list.”
His eyes narrowed briefly for a moment. “I’ve hurt you? Cat you left me and then you acted like you never knew me, like I wasn’t part of your life. That hurt!” he seethed, “And then you start knocking me back at every chance you get as if I meant nothing to you and to top it off, Cat, you believe her over me! I know and I understand why you don’t believe me but you’re dismissing what I have to say before I’ve finished a sentence. You believe what Josie told you, someone that has lied to both of us to keep us apart. Can’t you see that?”
“Kyle, I’m trying to believe you, but I just don’t see how she could get in bed with you without you realizing.” I sigh, thinking over his words, Nod’s words and Ben’s. My head is a mess. “And, I’m sorry, sorry for not giving you a chance to explain yourself, but every time I look at you I see her. Please, can you just give me some time to think it over?”
“No. I don’t know how she did it, Cat, but you have to believe me. I didn’t do anything to her or with her. Nothing!”
I chuck my head back and groan, clutching my hair, frustrated over everything. “Kyle, please, will you go? I can’t take much more of this. You’ve said your piece just like her. I just need to think about everything. I’m tired and sick of hearing about that night!” I shout, raising my head to look at him. His turquoise eyes gleam back at me with tears brimming, breaking me.
“C.J., if I walk out of here, you’ll think about it and only think the worst. That’s all you do. I was stupid to believe her, stupid to accept that you’d want the check, but I promise I’ll never doubt you again. Can you say the same?” he chokes.
“I really need to think about it,” I sighed, looking down at the floor. “Go. Please! Let me sleep on it and I’ll call you. I promise.”
His finger hooks my chin and raises my head back up. The tears are gone, but he still looks pained, sincere and like he was battling with himself. “Promise? Cat, I swear I will find out one way or another about that night. Just for once believe me. You never once doubted me.” He leans closer and I almost back away, but he plants a kiss on my forehead, whispering, “I can’t lose you again C.J.. You bring K.C. back to life, and I’ve missed being him, being me.”
“I’ve missed him too.”
I never did call.
I know I promised I would, but I spent Sunday recovering and catching up on sleep, along with thinking everything through and constantly asking myself the same question, “How could she do it, if what he said was the truth?” She wouldn’t do anything to harm him in anyway if she felt so strongly about him. If she’s adamant on sticking by him until he gives up on all other women, so she can throw herself at him, she must love him. You don’t sit back and watch someone go with every woman he meets if you don’t feel anything, even if it does hurt…surely.
The only reason I didn’t call him was that I needed to face him. Ask him. See his face when I talked to him. I tossed my phone in my hands constantly, going to call him over and over before backing out. It didn’t feel right over the phone.
I don’t even know if he’s going to show his face this morning.
It took everything in me this morning to get my sorry ass out of bed. I was up stupidly late, but only because I sent apologetic messages to these three, Nicole and Abigail accepting it, Nod on the other hand chewed my ear off for abandoning them and disappearing. I deserved it though.
“Nod? Has Ryan heard from Kyle?” I ask, breaking the tension that was hovering throughout the office.
“Nope,” she snips.
“Oh. Is he coming in today?”
“Unsure.”
Why can’t she be forgiving like the other two? I don’t blame her, but I thought she’d got it out of her system. “Okay. How long are you going to stay mad at me?”
She finally looks up from her work and slams her pen. “Does it surprise you? Jesus, Cat, we were worried! You just ran out and didn’t let anyone know. And as for Kyle, he was uncontrollable. You only saw him before you left.”
Not true, but he wasn’t that bad. “I said I was sorry. I just need to speak with him. Did he tell you anything?”
“No. He wouldn’t take his eyes off of you, though.
I swear I could see him getting redder by the second, even in the darkness. And when he did speak, it was to shout blue murder at Ryan and me. He just repeated the fact that you weren’t leaving him, again. Care to explain?”
God, I’m such a twat at times. “Was that just before I left?” I asked, before chewing on my lip, dreading seeing him, needing to see him, nervous about what would happen when I did.
“Yes. Care to explain where he got that idea from? I mean, I know you two haven’t been great recently, not that you’ve explained that to me either! I thought I was your best friend and yet you tell me nothing.”
“I handed in my resignation.” I whispered, watching her eyes as they slowly began to fall out of her head.
“Excuse me? You did what? Why?”
Taking a deep breath, I told her. I told her about finding him in bed with Josie and what happened here. “I was confused, you have to admit that it’s not easy to accept that what I saw was nothing. I was mad and just rolled with the mood. I didn’t think it through from his side. If he’s right and she’s managed to pull this off somehow, I will grovel at his feet!”
“Josie?” she screeches. “Josie? That stupid bitch?”
“Do you know any more?” I ask, twisting my hands around the hem of my dress at the sound of the elevator “pinging.”
Her eyes dart to the doorway and she closes her mouth.
“Cat! I want to see you in my office, now.” Kyle barks, sending a shiver of dread down my back.
Nod’s eyes stay fixed for a few seconds longer before she looks back at me. “Are you serious? And you believed it?”
“I saw them, it’s hard not to believe it when you see it.”
“I told you that she’s wanted—” she gets cut off by her phone ringing with an internal call. She looks at it and then me before picking up. “Hello?…yes she’s… okay.”
The second her phone goes down, mine rings. I pick it up slowly, hating the fact he wants to talk to me while he’s in one of these moods. “Hello?”
“I thought I told you I wanted to see you now? I didn’t ask you to come in your own God damn time.”
Coming Home (Only Time Will Tell #1) Page 20
