October Breezes

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  “You’re angry,” I retorted, looking at my books. Geez, why was I such a baby when it came to anger, anyway? Why should it matter so much he was mad? He squeezed my arm reassuringly. “No," he lied, "I’m not angry. Just worried.” Four cheerleaders walked past, and from Becca's center position, she glared at me and whispered to her friends. Then they laughed together.

  I laughed holowly. “Yeah, anyway, what’s the worst thing he can do?”

  Devin flinched, and the color drained from his face. “Don’t ask.” He lifted my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes, surprising me not with anger, but something else, something deeper. “Right now you don’t have a clue who's safe to trust. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Standing together so closely, I felt something building between us, something which made my heart race and left me breathless.

  Tears filed my eyes, blurring his face, and I thought of my father, the man who had once been the safest person I knew. I was his daughter, and he hadn’t wanted me. Why would anyone? I baled my fingers into fists and blinked back the tears. “Why should it matter if I get hurt? Why should you care?”

  Devin’s shoulders tensed, and I could hear a slight intake of breath. He closed his eyes--as though he didn’t want to see what was right in front of him. Maybe it was me. Then he opened them and that blueness returned. “You try to push away the people who care. Yeah, it matters if you get hurt because I’m your best friend.”

  He tried to pul me to him, but I refused to budge, knowing any strength would ebb from me with the tears. I wanted to be angry rather than hurt.

  “Don’t,” I finaly said, tired and trembling. I didn’t have a clue how to keep the emotions in check.

  Devin touched my cheek. “Skye, don’t do this. Hate your father if you want—if it makes things bearable. But don’t hate me--

  or worse, don’t hate yourself.”

  The first bel rang, and I jumped. “I’d better go.” I puled away.

  Devin latched onto my wrist. “You’re not listening.” His voice softened, tapering to a gravely whisper.

  “I heard,” I said, averting my gaze to watch five footbal players striding down the hal. One seemed familiar, and it took a minute before I realized who he was: Rick or Jimmy Sorenson, a sophomore like me. I'd gone to school with him since second grade. Although he kept pace with the others, he stood at the outer fringe, silent. Our gazes locked as he passed. Sorenson's red hair was long enough to cover the colar of the button-down shirt he wore. Although not as big as Kelin, he stood taler, and his understated power seemed more pronounced than Kelin' s because Sorenson's calm assurance suggested having a control Kelin lacked. Although he walked with the players, he also stood apart from them.

  Devin's forefinger brushed my wrist. “Yeah, you heard, al right, but you aren’t listening and you know it.” I wanted to pul from his caress, but I couldn’t. “Promise me something, Skye?”

  I focused on his fingers and realized my rapid heartbeat had slowed to match the steady rhythm of his touch. “Yeah, what?” I finaly asked.

  “That you’l be careful tonight."

  I roled my eyes and shook my head. “Yeah, I’l be careful tonight,” I sighed.

  Devin released my wrist, worry lines stil furrowing his forehead. “Okay. I’l take that promise. Stil, I’d rather you made it for you instead of me.”

  * * *

  That night I must have changed clothes ten times, alternating between jeans and skirts, sweatshirts and blouses. I puled my long dark hair up and then tugged it loose. To say I was getting nowhere fast would have been an understatement. Al the while, my stomach lurched like I was speeding down the first roler coaster hil. Although more comfortable in jeans, I also felt plain, and Kelin deserved something more than plain. Once I’d finaly decided on a knee-length denim skirt and a button-down cotton shirt, I finished getting ready. While curling my hair, I stared long and hard, wondering why Kelin found me beautiful. My long, skinny face appeared overwhelmed with huge green eyes. I wasn’t pretty, not realy. And yet Devin had said,

  “You’re one of the most beautiful girls in school.”

  Were they blind?

  The doorbel interrupted my thoughts and I gasped, looking at the clock. Kelin was ten minutes early. I touched my hair, puling a few strands over my shoulders.

  This is as good as it gets.

  “Skye,” my mother caled. “Kelin is here.”

  My heart sped up. I turned, and the word seemed to spin, distorted. Everything seemed fuzzy, warm, and dream-like, and then it shifted back. This didn’t seem possible; someone as popular as Kellin had noticed me, and waited for me in the entryway. Giving my reflection one last glance, I adjusted my belt, patted my hair, and smoothed my skirt.

  I hurried downstairs, and, as I reached the floor, my breath caught as I peered into Kelin’s blue eyes. His letter jacket covered his navy sweater, and his PePe jeans hugged every nuance of male anatomy. I halted as a panicked voice exploded in my head. What are you doing? Why would a guy like that ask you out? You’re a loser, Skye. Always have been.

  Al those thoughts vanished as I saw a huge smile cross Kelin's face. “There you are.” He flashed that same smile at my mother. “I was just teling your mom about the movie we’re going to see.” As I stood beside him, his aftershave filed the air, and in the background a car commercial droned on.

  My mother touched my back. “Sounds great, actualy.”

  She smiled. “Perhaps Warren and I wil go tomorrow night.”

  “I didn’t know accountants liked romantic comedies.

  Don’t they prefer the more...boring…films?” I winked.

  “Skye,” my mother spoke in a patiently tired voice. “Give me a little credit, sweetheart. Be back by 11.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I agreed, exhaling disgustedly. “Or I turn into a pumpkin, right?” I quipped, al the while thinking, Please don't embarrass me.

  “Nope--an avocado, or maybe just a grounded sixteen-year-old.” She bent and kissed my cheek. “Have a great time. By the way, your dad said not to plan anything for Saturday.”

  I stopped. “Dad said that?” I swalowed hard, not quite believing her. "Did he cal?"

  “Yeah.” Her tone was clipped, and I knew she didn’t want to talk about this.

  “I’l be back by 11,” I promised, chewing my lip as I wondered what my father had said.

  Kelin held the door open as we walked outside together.

  “You look great, Skye. Realy great.”

  I blushed and tried not to wonder if he were being sarcastic or genuine. He smiled and his hand touched my lower back softly, guiding me to a classic mustang that had been completely restored.

  We stepped out into evening air that smeled of October and burning wood. Once we'd reached his car, he opened the passenger door.

  “So--what's realy up with you and Devin?”

  I slipped inside and smoothed my skirt. “I told you: we're just friends.” I frowned, wondering why my friendship with Devin interested him so much.

  Kelin cocked his eyebrow. “Pretty hard to imagine any guy just being friends with you.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, once he'd slid into the driver's seat and latched his seatbelt.

  “Nothing.” He averted his gaze and, frowning, slipped the key into the ignition and started the car.

  “No,” I insisted, chewing my lower lip. “You meant something by that, and I’d like to know what.”

  He reluctantly looked at me, but for a second it didn’t feel as though he were staring at al of me, just my breasts, my hips, the regions differing from his. “You’re beautiful, Skye. Any guy would have trouble keeping things on a friendship basis.”

  I drew my coat more tightly. I'd done some pretty stupid things, but this had been the worst. What if Devin had been right?

  Chapter Four

  “So why did you ask me out?” I folded my arms over my chest and waited.

  “Because I wanted to get to know you,” he replied
, averting his gaze.

  “Oh, realy,” I drawled, watching the houses blur past.

  “Yeah, realy,” he said. “It’s true that you' re incredibly beautiful, Skye. There’s no point in denying that. But there’s more to you than that. Everybody judges me on how wel I throw a footbal. I figured you might be someone who could see beyond that part to someone worth knowing.” He frowned and looked away. "I know what people say, Skye, but it's just crap I can't shake. Tyler's the ladies’ man, not me."

  His dark eyes peered at me with a softness I never would have expected. “Are you sure you stil want to get to know me?” I finaly asked.

  “Positive.” He brushed back a stray hair that had falen into my eyes. “I just have one question--did I pass Devin’s little test?” He turned left.

  I stiffened slightly. “What do you mean?”

  “I know how little Devin likes me and how he hates that I asked you out. I know how close the two of you are.” He brushed his thumb across the steering wheel. Suddenly I wondered what his fingers would feel like stroking my face.

  “It wasn’t ‘Devin’s little test,’” I said. “I can think for myself.”

  “I don't doubt it.” We puled into the parking lot, and he kiled the engine. His hand slid to my neck while his gaze held me stil, enraptured, as he leaned in and kissed me.

  The thought of moving flickered into my mind, but his kiss queled it, suffusing me with warmth. His lips parted mine, and I tasted spearmint as his tongue slid over mine, caressing. His arms drew me ever closer, more tightly, until the only thing I felt was his body pressed against mine and heat spreading through him.

  A few seconds later, he moved away, yet I lingered in that fog, wrapped in his embrace and heard him whisper, “Geez, you are gorgeous.” He opened his door and I, too, got out. Hand in hand, we headed to buy tickets.

  This sensation, although wonderful, was foreign. I’d never been realy kissed before--not that I would have admitted it to anyone besides Devin, and, at this moment, with my heart thudding in my chest and my breath speeding toward something I didn’t quite understand, I wasn’t sure I would know how to broach this topic even with Devin. This al seemed so strange, so new. Good old mom hadn’t ever really explained how the ‘plumbing’ worked, and there are at least a few things you can’t ask when your best friend also happens to be a guy. Not even a best friend as wonderful as Devin.

  “So did that kiss pass your test?” he teased, squeezing my hand gently.

  “Yeah,” I finaly managed once I’d realized I stil had a voice. “It was nice.”

  “Nice?” Kelin quipped. “I’ve never heard someone tel me a kiss was nice before.”

  I cringed, wondering at how I always said the wrong thing.

  “So what do other girls say after you kiss them?”

  “It’s never polite to kiss and tel,” he said, winking. He bought the tickets, and we headed toward the concession area. As he draped his arm around my back, he squeezed my right arm, unnerving me. For a split second, Devin’s face flashed in front of me, and I wondered what his kiss would feel like or how it would feel for his arm to pul me close.

  Stop it! I told myself. Devin is your best friend, nothing more. You’ve known him forever. W hy would you want to kiss him?

  “Skye?” Kelin waved at me. "Earth to Skye."

  “Yeah,” I finaly replied, realizing I had been daydreaming.

  “I’m glad you decided to take a chance on me.”

  I smiled. “Me too.”

  Inside the lobby, we stood in a long line, waiting to get popcorn and drinks. Although I wasn't hungry, I did look at the fountain drink dispenser longingly.

  "Hey, Kelin? How are you?" Becca Haskins asked as she and Kaylee Johnson stepped from behind us. Blonde curls framed her face, and her aquamarine sweater realy highlighted her baby blues. She reached for Kelin's hand, but he dodged her fingers by grabbing napkins.

  The couple ahead picked up their popcorn and sodas before heading into the auditorium. "Hey, Becca. Kaylee," Kelin managed, stepping up to the counter.

  I pointed to the bathroom and said, "I'l be right back."

  Relieved to be rid of the Stepford sisters, I checked my make-up.

  A moment later, Becca folowed me into the bathroom and applied more lipstick. She pursed her lips and then patted her hair.

  I brushed the bangs from my eyes and tried to ignore her, but as she put away her lipstick, she said, "You don't stand a chance." Her fingers tugged at her sweater, puling it lower. "He's only using you for one thing. You don't matter to him; I do."

  "Then why am I with him, not you?" I finaly snapped, puling a comb out of my handbag.

  "You don't even care about him, do you?" Her accusing eyes met mine.

  "How do you know what I feel? Or what he feels, for that matter?" I swalowed hard. I'd known I would never fit in, but this…this I hadn’t expected.

  She turned and glared. "I've been waiting for my chance with him for the last three years. I almost had it until you came into the picture." She walked away, purposely ramming my shoulder as she went. "Why don't you stick to Devin? He's as much an accident of birth as you are." She strode out of the bathroom, leaving me to face my reflection.

  As I emerged from the bathroom, I forced myself to smile and pretend that nothing had happened. Becca and Kaylee stood with Kelin, but his gaze was averted, and when he spotted me, he offered a smile that made me realy forget what had happened. He reached for my hand. “You ready to find a seat?”

  “Yeah.” Together we walked toward the auditorium, leaving Becca and Kaylee where they stood, holding their popcorn and sodas.

  * * *

  “That was a great movie,” I enthused, forcing myself not to think about Becca. We exited the theater, and, looking at the stars, I spun around in a smal circle, my arms thrown high. “Look at this sky! It’s beautiful.”

  “Not half as beautiful as what I’m looking at,” Kelin said.

  His voice sounded huskier and deeper than usual. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets.

  I slowly looked from the glittering heavens to find Kelin staring intently, the corners of his lips tugging upward. A cold breeze ruffled his hair. Stil, he stared at me. “What?” I asked, my fingers brushing my hair. “What’s wrong with me?”

  “Wrong with you?” Kelin repeated. “Nothing. I just like looking at you. You're more beautiful than al the stars.”

  I blushed . You must be blind, I thought. I’m not even pretty, let alone beautiful. “You didn’t even look at the sky,” I protested.

  “Didn’t have to.” He closed the distance and slipped his arm around me. “There’s no comparing it to your beauty. You win hands down.”

  Stopping beside his car, I looked at my hands, staring not at the nail polish, but instead the trembling. I wrapped my arms around my body. “I’m not beau--”

  He gently placed his fingers over my lips and leaned toward me, his head tilted slightly. The smooth car body pressed into my back. “Shh. Not another word. You are beautiful, even if you don’t realize it.”

  His gaze met mine, and I found myself unable to break away from eyes that memorized my every feature, every pore. I started to lower my head, but his hand slipped under my chin and prompted me to face him. “You are so beautiful. Look at me.”

  When I stared into his azure eyes, I knew he'd kiss me again. I knew it before he leaned closer, before I felt his lips. His arm drew me closer. The world melted away, leaving me wrapped in Kelin’s embrace where I could have stayed forever. Then he finaly puled away. Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened my eyes.

  “How was that?” he asked softly, brushing his forefinger across my cheek.

  “That was...nice,” I admitted, giggling softly. In my mind, a smal voice asked, “Why are you acting this way?” Instead of dweling on it, I smiled at Kelin's devious grin.

  “You like that word, ” he quipped. “It wasn’t breathtaking or dazzling or even worth trying again?” He leaned towar
d me, tilting his head so his heated breath caressed my skin, warming me.

  “I didn’t say that,” I protested breathlessly. “I didn’t mean that.” Around us, car headlights flickered to life as other people drove away. I scanned the parking lot, wondering if Becca and her friend had gone.

  He stepped closer, his gaze never leaving my face. Even in the moonlit darkness and dim lamplight, I noticed how broad his shoulders were, how his height eclipsed me, and I felt petite, even graceful. Usualy, I tripped over my own two feet. “You want to try that kissing thing again?” His deep voice resonated through me like it had fingers. Our gazes locked, and I couldn’t break his hold.

  “Yes,” I whispered. My heart pounded so fast and loud I wondered if he could hear it.

  His fingers trickled down, pausing at my throat's holow before sliding around the nape of my neck. He puled me to him and drew his lips to mine. For as long as held me, the world stiled and disappeared altogether. Then his lips sought my neck, my ears. My heart sped up.

  I pushed a little and managed to squeak from beneath him.

  I took a deep breath, hoping the cold night air would anchor me in the present. The parking lot was almost completely empty and I looked at my watch. “It’s been a great evening, but my mom’s expecting me home in the next fifteen minutes.”

  He raked his fingers through his hair and finaly nodded.

  “Okay.” He unlocked the passenger door and waited for me to get settled before closing it. Driving home, our conversation lapsed into silence. Finaly, as we puled into the driveway, Kelin left the motor running and faced me. “I didn’t mean to come on so strong, Skye."

  His hand topped mine and caressed it. “You make me lose my head. Please go out with me again.” His blue eyes implored. “How does Saturday night sound?”

  While I knew better than to delve too deeply into those eyes, I found I could not resist . Just say no, I thought. “I can’t go this weekend. For some reason, my mom thinks my dad might be caling to see me.”