Safe Harbor?

by Wardell, Heather

  Her laughter cut me off. “Graham is so last week, Celia. And your Owen’s advice stinks. I did tell Graham that he’d promised me a drink and I wanted him to deliver, and he called me a gold-digger. Over a stupid coffee! If I hadn’t pushed him like Owen told me to, I’d never have lost him.”

  Why she’d want to keep a guy who’d be that stupid was a question I couldn’t bring myself to ask, so I made a sympathetic sound.

  She looked appropriately sad for a moment, then brightened. “That Austin one, he seems nice, and he’s definitely hot. And I think he liked me at your wedding. Whenever he talked to me he ignored everyone else.”

  Erin gave a choking cough, and Dawn turned on her. Before she could speak, Erin said, “Sorry, but I think that’s just him. He was like that with me too. If you look up ‘never gonna commit’ in the dictionary, you’ll find his picture.”

  “His sexy picture,” Dawn said, undeterred. “He made that suit he wore to the wedding look good. Maybe he just needs to find the right woman.”

  “Maybe you need your head examined,” Erin returned.

  I laughed and Dawn said, “At least I’m not the eternal pessimist. I have hope. And actually, right now I’ve got it for someone besides Austin.”

  “Good,” I said, “because from what I hear Erin’s right about him. A good time guy, not a long time one.”

  Dawn made a ridiculously dreamy face. “I bet it would be a good time. But anyhow, after Graham turned out to be an ass I went out to this speed dating thing and I met Eric, and...”

  I sat with Erin listening and trying to provide helpful advice as Dawn explained how she and Eric had so much in common and how bad she’d felt for him since his wife didn’t understand him and that she was sure he meant every word when he said he’d get the divorce proceedings going soon now that he’d met her but that she wasn’t quite sure whether she should date him now or wait until that actually happened.

  Seeing her yet again being so naive frustrated me but I knew I couldn’t say so, and picking up Dawn’s hopefulness and excitement and Erin’s disgust swayed me back and forth inside until I had a wicked headache and couldn’t stand it another second.

  “I’d better go, guys,” I said when Dawn finally paused for breath.

  They stared at me and Erin said, “But we haven’t even had our coffee yet. And you love it here.”

  “I know.” I shrugged. “Just need to go home.”

  Erin still looked suspicious, but Dawn put her hand on her heart as a rush of emotion sweeter than cotton candy sickened me. “Aw, of course you do. You’re a newlywed! Go have fun with your hubby.”

  I pulled out enough money to more than cover my bill. “You got it. Good night, guys.”

  “Good night,” they echoed, but as I walked away I could feel them watching me and also feel disbelief radiating from Erin though I didn’t know why she’d care so much if my marriage wasn’t real.

  When I unlocked the condo’s front door with the key Owen had ceremoniously given me the day after our wedding, he was sitting on the couch with his laptop and a glass of wine. “Hey. How was dinner?” He glanced down at the computer then back up at me. “Is that really the time? You’re home early.”

  Something inside me thrilling to the word “home”, I slipped off my shoes and said, “Yeah. Headache.”

  He grimaced. “Sorry. Painkillers in the medicine cabinet if you want one.”

  “In a minute, maybe.” I joined him on the couch, sitting close beside him but not creepily so, and as always immediately felt better. “It was probably just loud there.”

  He smiled at me. “Well, it’s nice and quiet here.”

  Yes. Yes, it was.

  I didn’t miss my friends for a minute.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Do I look okay?”

  Owen ran his eyes over me dispassionately, from my carefully done hair down my green wrap dress to my strappy black heels. Returning his gaze to my face, he gave me a nod. “You do. Me?”

  I nodded too. My freshly-shaved husband wore the suit he’d worn to our wedding, with a navy tie, and he looked classy and professional. The kind of man any boss would want to promote and any woman would want to fake-marry.

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  He held out his hand to me, which surprised me for a moment until I realized it was time to start putting on our pretence of being a blissfully married couple.

  I took his hand and we walked into the restaurant where I’d arranged for us to meet Lawrence and Winter. Owen had been sure they’d be there five minutes early so we’d been only two so they could see us arrive, and it all happened exactly as he’d planned. As the hostess guided us toward the table, I saw Lawrence’s eyes dip to our joined hands, and a rush of pride in Owen for knowing how things worked and being able to work around them filled me.

  Lawrence got to his feet. “Celia, you look lovely. Owen, you’re a lucky man.”

  “I know it,” Owen said, releasing my hand so he could wrap his arm around me. He sounded utterly sincere and I saw Lawrence appreciate it.

  As I took my seat opposite Winter, I also saw her fleeting look of disgust and felt a far stronger version of it coming at me emotionally.

  We might be making progress on fooling Lawrence, but his wife wasn’t yet picking up what we were putting down.

  “Owen and Celia Reel, almost two weeks married,” Lawrence said, shaking his head. “Time flies, doesn’t it? And things are going well so far?”

  We both nodded, and gave each other a sideways grin as if thinking about exactly how well things were going, a grin we’d rehearsed, and Lawrence smiled.

  Winter did not.

  It was a long painful evening, but I worked hard and so did Owen and by the end of the meal Lawrence seemed thrilled by us and even Winter had relaxed enough to say, “Well, you do seem very happy together.”

  “We are,” Owen said, smiling at me.

  “It was all so sudden, though,” she went on, before I could respond, and I felt her sudden determination and realized she hadn’t relaxed at all. She’d just been gearing up for a final test. “Wasn’t it? Why wouldn’t you take more time to get to know each other, figure out whether you could live with each other’s quirks, make sure it was real?”

  “Winter,” Lawrence said, sounding embarrassed, as well he should have been given that they’d married fast too. “Really.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, smiling at him, then turned my attention to her. I’d thought it was Lawrence’s opinion that really mattered but I’d been wrong. “Yes, it was sudden,” I said, since there was no point in denying it. “And we could have taken that time, definitely. But...” I shrugged, trying to look sheepish. “A guy like Owen doesn’t come along every day, and I knew right away it was right. And I think he did too.”

  “For sure,” Owen put in, right on cue.

  I smiled at him, then refocused on Winter. “So, I can’t speak for Owen but I basically felt like if I knew I wanted this, which I did, then why not marry him first and then get to know his quirks?” I tried for a ‘you know what I mean, fellow woman’ smile. “After all, every guy’s got quirks. Gotta live with someone’s, right?”

  Lawrence laughed, and Winter said, “You’re so right.”

  Just as I thought I’d succeeded, she said, “You’re in love?”

  “Of course,” I said immediately, and to my delight Owen said it at the same time. We turned to each other, smiling, and Lawrence said, “Aw, I like that. Come on, Winter. Clearly they’re crazy for each other.”

  I felt one last burst of doubt from her then she gave in. “Yup,” she said, finally managing a warm smile. “I think they are.”

  *****

  Lawrence officially gave Owen his promotion the next day, and I was thrilled for him and proud of my part in making it happen. I went on being thrilled and proud for several weeks, until I realized just how many trips my husband would be going on, and how long eac
h would be.

  “You’ll be gone for two whole weeks this time?”

  Owen, busy digging his passport out of the filing cabinet, said, “Yup. Monday to two Sundays later.”

  It had been bad enough when he’d left me for a few days, since my emotions built up horribly when I couldn’t relieve them by being with Owen, but fourteen days? How was I going to handle that? “I guess I can’t come with you?”

  He emerged from the filing cabinet clutching the passport. “No, sorry,” he said, not sounding it. “This is my first big one, after all, and besides, you’d be bored. I expect to be. The meetings will be interesting but driving from town to town gets old. And crazy hot. Texas in July? I wish I didn’t have to go.”

  Clearly he didn’t wish any such thing. He’d been lit up since yesterday when Lawrence gave him the trip instead of Troy, and nothing I could say would change that.

  And I didn’t want to change it either, not really. He’d married me to get the promotion and now he had it.

  Just too bad that for his dreams to come true my nightmares had to as well.

  Chapter Fifteen

  On July 4th, as I sat on a bench beside the pond across the street watching the water ripple and wondering how Owen was enjoying the fireworks in Texas, my cell phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number, but picked up anyhow because I didn’t have anything better to do.

  “Celia, it’s Melissa. How are you?”

  She sounded terrified, and for one awful moment I thought something horrible had happened to Owen before realizing that Melissa wouldn’t be the one to call me. “Fine, thanks. You?”

  “Oh, I’m okay.”

  Silence fell. I didn’t break it, because I had no idea how to, but she eventually cleared her throat and said, “Look, I’ve got a question for you. Well, for Owen, but for you too, I guess.”

  Not feeling enlightened by this, I said, “He’s not here. Won’t be until the fifteenth.”

  “I know, Linda told-- yeah, I know.” She sighed. “I guess I wanted to ask you and have you ask him. If you’re okay with that.”

  I wouldn’t promise to ask anything of my husband before I knew what it was. She’d known he was away and had called specifically because she wouldn’t be able to talk to him, and I didn’t like that. I didn’t like that, and I didn’t trust her. “Depends,” I said, trying to sound neutral and maybe a little amused, “on the question.”

  She cleared her throat. “Yeah, I suppose so. Okay, here goes. Well, with the way things are, we thought maybe it’d be better not to have either of Nicholas’s brothers in the wedding. Austin because, well, because he’s Austin, and Owen...”

  She trailed off, but I had to agree that having her former fiancé stand beside her current one at her wedding would be all kinds of awkward.

  “So anyhow,” she said, “I was hoping you could see whether that bothers Owen. I don’t think it will but we’d like to be sure. Could you do that?”

  “Yeah,” I said, quite sure Owen would jump at the chance to avoid being in the wedding but not wanting to speak for him. “I can do that. We’ll be talking online tonight, like we do every night when he’s away, so I’ll do it then.”

  “Oh,” she said, sounding surprised. “That’d be great. I didn’t think it’d be quite-- I mean, if it takes a while longer than that, it’s okay. We have until October, after all.”

  After she thanked me and got off the phone with clear relief, I thought through her surprise and realized she hadn’t expected Owen and I to be talking nightly while we were apart. It sure hadn’t been his idea, although he’d agreed with a smile when I’d pretended to be embarrassed and said I’d feel better knowing he was safe in his hotel room at night.

  It wasn’t that at all. Though it was nothing like having him with me in person, even electronic communication with him calmed me a little, and I needed that.

  Although tonight’s chat might not be as calming, depending on how he reacted to Melissa’s query.

  Why did she keep getting in the way? First at my shower, and now this. Though I didn’t feel anything from her but hope and a desire to do the right thing, I promised myself to keep my guard up. I wouldn’t let anyone take Owen from me.

  *****

  The next night, I stood in front of the restaurant where I’d be meeting Dawn and Erin and her visiting cousin April trying to get enough oxygen from the humid July air to give me the nerve to call Melissa. She hadn’t given me any other way to contact her, and I had to do it. Owen had asked me to.

  I’d waited until near the end of our chat the night before, after he’d described the fireworks and the flags and the excitement of Independence Day and how it matched and differed from our Canada Day celebrations on July 1st, so I wouldn’t wreck everything before making myself type, “Melissa called me. She and Nicholas are planning not to have you or Austin in their wedding party and she wanted to make sure you were okay with that. I said I’d check and let her know.”

  He clearly hadn’t paused to think, because his reply came back immediately. “Fine by me. If you could tell her, that’d be great.”

  Not like I particularly wanted them communicating, so I’d said I would and we’d chatted another minute or two before signing off by exchanging “have a good night” wishes.

  So now I had to do what I’d promised and call.

  I took another deep breath, grimaced at the city stink, and chose her number from my contact list where I’d made myself add it last night.

  “Celia, hi,” she said, sounding nervous again. “How are you? Did you--”

  “I did, yes,” I said, knowing I probably shouldn’t be rude and cut her off but not wanting the call to go on a second longer than necessary. “And Owen says he’s fine with not being involved.”

  “Oh, okay. Good.”

  “Yeah.”

  A silence heavier than the air around me pressed down on us for a moment then we both spoke at once.

  “Sorry,” Melissa said. “Go ahead.”

  “I was just going to say I should get going as I have plans.”

  “Okay, that’s fine.”

  “What were you going to say?” I didn’t mean to ask but curiosity got the better of me.

  “I was going to say thank you,” she said quietly. “I’m sure it was weird to ask and I appreciate it.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “Bye,” she said, and hung up as I took a breath to add, “You’re welcome.”

  *****

  As it turned out, I’d rather have spent the night with Melissa hearing every last detail of how how she and Owen had been in bed than with my friends. From the moment Dawn arrived her puffy eyes warned me we were in for a rough night, although I didn’t need that warning because her tangled emotions hit me at the same time. Love and hate and an almost panting delight in all the drama in her life.

  Eric, the not-quite-divorced-but-surely-he-will-be-soon man of her dreams, was, as anyone but Dawn could have guessed, nowhere near planning to leave his wife. He didn’t want to give Dawn up either, which my friend in her infinite idiocy saw as romantic though the quick glances Erin and April and I shared proved we all knew it was just a guy wanting to have a fling while holding on to the security of a well-off wife.

  “She controls him with her money,” Dawn wailed, loud enough to draw surprised looks from nearby tables. “She’s terrible.”

  “Shh,” Erin said. “You want everyone to know?”

  “She deserves that,” Dawn said, although she did lower her voice. “People should know she’s a rotten person.” Her eyes took on an evil glint. “I could tell them. Anonymously, of course. And then he’d leave. Once he knows what she’s really like, for sure he would.”

  She’d gotten louder again as her idea took hold of her, and on top of my own disgust and what I could feel from Erin and April I could also sense the revulsion of everyone around us for a woman who’d come up with such a plan and the women who’d sit and listen to her.

  I sensed it, and I
shared it.

  Dawn was horrible, and we were horrible by association.

  If I’d known I could go home after dealing with Dawn and feel Owen’s presence washing everything away, I might have been able to suffer through the conversation. But I wouldn’t see my husband for another ten days, and an online chat wasn’t going to do anything to clear away the mess of emotions this foolishness was stirring up in me.

  “Okay, look,” I said, probably also too loud. “I can’t do this another second. We’ve either got to talk about something else or I’ve got to go. I can’t do this.”

  Dawn turned on me. “But I don’t know what to do yet.”

  I could feel the people at the closest table watching us, which embarrassed me, but I could also feel their relief that I’d made an attempt to stop this discussion and that gave me the strength to say, “You do. He’s married. End of story. You just want us to say--”

  “Oh, like ‘married’ is a big-ass chastity belt or something, like it locks everything down and stops people fooling around.”

  “It should,” I said, annoyed at her sarcasm. “It absolutely should.”

  April giggled, an explosion like she’d been trying to hold it back. “A big ass also stops people fooling around.”

  “Or could,” I said, picking up her mirth and loving how it made me feel so much I couldn’t help laughing either. “Depends on the kind of ass, I guess.”

  “Big ass needs a big chastity belt,” Erin said, trying to stay deadpan and failing.

  Dawn looked back and forth between us. “I can see I won’t get any help here,” she said, and though she put on a smile I knew she was hurt.

  Well, too bad. She might be right that Eric’s marriage was nothing but a sham to get his hands on his wife’s money, but it was still a marriage.

  And I’d defend a marriage, no matter how sham some people might consider it, far more than I’d defend anyone’s right to interfere in it.