She was growing up.
Maddie noticed that they kept their conversations on safe subjects, when they did talk. Truth was, every time she opened her mouth, she wanted to talk about what had happened the night before. Especially when she heard the distant clang of the buoy’s bell. She needed to know he’d been aroused as much as she had. Not on the outside—she knew that. But on the inside. Just as she kept running the scene through her mind over and over, she wondered if he did. She wanted to know how he was feeling at every step, when she’d moved closer to him, when she kissed him, and when she’d really gone crazy and pushed up against his erection.
But then she was afraid to hear that he hadn’t felt anything, other than the physical knee-jerk reaction. Maybe he’d only felt that much because it had been a while. She couldn’t deny that she did feel something for him, though she didn’t want to explore too deeply what that was. She’d been devastated when Wayne had left. She didn’t want to go through even a fifth of that feeling when Chase left. She’d shoot back to double digits on the sad meter. She looked up and caught him watching her.
He narrowed his eyes. “You look awfully serious over there, Maddie.”
“I’m just wondering if Q is going to get dropped off here. Colleen didn’t want him around…well, around you. I told her to spend some time with him. And with her husband tonight.”
“The one who’s cheating?”
“He’d better not be still cheating.” She let out a long breath. “It’s a terrible secret to keep, you know.”
“I don’t know, but I can imagine. You’re probably not good at keeping secrets like that.”
“I’d rather just forget I ever saw his big, white butt…” She shuddered at the memory. “But I can’t make it go away. I just have to believe he’s broken things off and will work it out with Colleen.”
She could talk to him about anything. Well, almost anything. If Chase hadn’t been around, who else could she have shared this with? Not Mom. She would have pretended not to have heard it.
Chase was wearing a faded, black button-down shirt. He’d left it open, probably not to drive her crazy with glimpses of his chest. His white pants were stained on one leg and too big. Which meant they settled low on his hips, below his tan line.
When she sensed he was about to look her way, she said, “I stopped by the garage where my dad works and asked him where the Dinky is. It’s behind my house. He said he takes it out fishing once in a while, to keep the engine running. I never knew he even used it. Not that I mind. He didn’t mention it because he didn’t want me thinking about being on it with Wayne.” She lifted one shoulder. “Too many memories. But…” Push the words out, Maddie. “I’d like to take it out and watch the sunset tonight.”
“Good for you. You going to take Q?”
“Maybe. That’ll give Colleen and Bobby a chance to spend some time together.” She was rather hoping that he’d ask to go along, and then she’d feel obligated to say yes, he could come, because that was the polite thing to do.
He didn’t.
But there was a solid reason for asking him to accompany her. She wasn’t sure she could face that house alone.
“Come with us,” she heard herself say, though she wasn’t even looking at him. She blinked in surprise and met his gaze. “Please.”
He only nodded, as though he understood, though she knew he couldn’t. Her nervous little laugh sounded almost like relief. What could happen with Q there? Hopefully Q would be there.
Being alone with Chase who had no past was definitely not a good idea.
Later in the afternoon, Maddie had mixed feelings when Q arrived. That meant Colleen wasn’t spending time with him. And it meant she wasn’t spending time alone with Chase.
“Hi, Uncle Maddie,” he said. “Wow, the boat’s almost done.”
“It’s got a ways to go,” Chase said, warming her with the words.
Because he’d be around for a little while longer.
“Guess what?” she said to Q. “We’re taking the Dinky out.”
She didn’t quite share the enthusiasm her nephew displayed. She thought he was doing some kind of football victory dance.
“We’re going to go right from here to the house. We’ll get some subs from Homer’s on the way.”
“Kewl!” Q said.
Actually, Maddie didn’t want to face Mom or Colleen about asking to take Q out. They would object, even if Chase wasn’t going. So she was going to cheat and leave a message on Colleen’s machine.
At just before five, she walked to the back where Barnie had just taken up the sailing material after waking from his latest nap. “Barnie, is it okay if I steal your employee a little early?”
“He was here at daybreak, so can’t complain if he knocks off early.” He studied her for a few seconds. “You’re looking good, Maddie.”
She was stunned by the compliment. Barnie rarely dispensed many words at all, particularly that kind. “Thanks.” She couldn’t help the involuntary glance at Chase.
“Remember, he’s going to leave soon.”
“I know,” she said in a too-high, too-bright voice.
He went back to the sewing machine, and she returned to the boat. “Ready?”
“I am, I am!” Q ran over from where he’d been examining an anthill.
Chase gathered up the tools and cleaned them while she closed the container of resin. The boat was coming along too fast. While she was helping him, she was also helping him to leave faster. But how else could she spend time with him?
They both washed up in the small locker rooms at the marina and headed to her car.
“Nice,” he said as they approached the teal Sunbird. “I haven’t driven…well, since I can remember.”
She handed him the keys.
“I don’t have a license.” He handed them back.
She didn’t take them. “So? We have two cops in Sugar Bay, and they never caught Wayne when he sped through town. You do remember how to drive, don’t you?”
Resignation laced his voice. “Everything but who I am, it seems.”
She pushed his hand back. “Drive.”
The tiny smile he tried to hide was worth it. Though once he was in the driver’s seat, she had the disconcerting thought that Wayne and perhaps her dad were the only males who had ever driven the car.
“You sure you want me to drive?” he asked, and she realized he was watching her.
“Yes. Let’s go.”
They picked up the subs, and he insisted on paying even though she knew he didn’t have much money. It was strange, going into Homer’s to get subs for a trip to watch the sunset…without Wayne. Danny had given her a strange look indeed when she’d walked in with Chase.
No doubt by the time she got home, her family would know all about it.
As they got nearer to her house, her throat tightened, and her heart slowed down. Q babbled on about the last time he’d played Merlin’s Mini-Golf. He pointed out his friends’ houses as they drove past the Gulf-side cottages. She heard her voice thicken as she directed Chase into the driveway of her dream house.
“You all right?” he asked once they’d stopped.
She couldn’t take her eyes off the front of that house, with its gingerbread accents and manicured little yard. It was a narrow house, with the garage on the right and a bay window on the other side of the foyer. “I haven’t been here since…Wayne left. It looks different, yet so familiar, too.”
“Mom and I come and swim in the pool,” Q said, pushing against the seat even though they hadn’t opened the doors yet.
“Looks like someone lives here,” Chase said.
“John comes once a week to trim and mow.” She started to look his way but couldn’t. “I’m a chicken not to have come here, I know. A baby. But this was our dream house. Wayne’s grandparents gave us the house for our wedding present when they moved into a condo. We took some of the money he inherited from his great grandfather and remodeled it.”
&nbs
p; The houses on either side were as old as hers and just as quaint. The newer homes nearby were built higher due to new flood restrictions.
“It’s nice,” Chase said.
He waited until she opened her door first, giving her time. She loved him for that. Or rather, loved his understanding. She also knew he wouldn’t let her back down, even though she was having thoughts of doing just that. She had another mission in mind, and that meant going inside.
Q ran around the back emitting something that sounded like an Indian holler. Maddie walked up to the door. For a crazy moment, it seemed plausible that Wayne would be waiting inside, wondering where the heck she’d been for the last year.
Chase looked at the key fob that read World’s Perfect Husband! before handing it back to her. She took a deep breath and shoved the key into the lock. As soon as the familiar smells of the house engulfed her, she wrapped her arms around herself and didn’t move. The air was stale, though it was still scented with the dried eucalyptus in the flower arrangements.
“It’s too hard,” she whispered. “It’s like he’s still here.”
Chase’s voice was just as soft. “He’s not.”
“I can smell him. I can feel him.” She shivered. Everything was just the way they’d left it that terrible day. Wayne had gone to the marina earlier to oversee delivery of that damned boat. He’d called Maddie when he had it in the water.
“Baby, come down and see my new toy!” He was like a kid, so excited about everything. The way she used to be.
“I left to meet him at the marina,” she said. “That was the last time I saw this place.” She felt herself walking in, then realized Chase’s hands were on her shoulders. They’d walked through the small entry area and into the dining room/great room combination. “We made love on that couch the night before.”
He dropped his hands, and she wished she could take back the words. But they were out, and she was swept up in the memories of that last lovemaking as she touched the arm of the country charm couch. He’d pulled her down as she’d walked by. Just like every aspect of his life, Wayne was fast in that department, too. But he snuggled with her afterward to make up for it. He hated how fast he went, and that he wasn’t big…down there. Maddie had told him countless times that she wasn’t either, so they were a perfect match.
She sank down on the couch. “He used to play, ‘One little piggy went to market’ with my toes.” She hadn’t realized that, just like old times, whenever she walked into the house, she slipped out of her shoes. She pulled her legs up and touched her toes.
“He must have felt like he was seducing a child.”
She jerked her head up, angry that he’d tugged her out of the memory. “He didn’t have to seduce me.”
Bullseye. He recoiled to the French doors to watch Q.
She tried to go back into the memory, but it was gone. She grabbed her toe and wiggled it, but now the ditty was only a child’s game. She tried to imagine having breakfast in the nook that overlooked the Gulf, or making dinner with him, but they all eluded her like remnants of a dream.
Her gaze went to Chase, standing rigid at the doors in a white T-shirt and tight jeans. It was because of him that she couldn’t remember.
“Take me back to the marina and go home.,” he said, turning back to her. “You’re not ready for this.”
She pushed to her feet and walked to him. “I am.”
He slid his thumb beneath her eye, then showed her the tears. “Maybe you’ll never be ready. Maybe you should just sell this place and stay with your parents.”
Q waved at them, oblivious of the fact that her heart was crushing even more than it had before. She waved back but returned to the impassive expression on Chase’s face.
“Why are you saying this?”
“Because it’s true. Look at you. Maybe you did love him so much that you can’t move on. Maybe you’ll just grow old with your memories.”
She rubbed away the tears, but more came. Not from her memories but his harsh words. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Other than it being a waste. But if you want to waste your life and live in your parents’ shadow, there’s nothing I can do about it.” He turned away as though he couldn’t stand the sight of her. “In another week or so I’ll leave, and you can hide away from life again.” His voice softened, but his gaze stayed on Q splashing in the pool. “And I won’t be able to think about you, because I hate you living your life like this.”
“Don’t say that,” she said through a fresh wave of tears. “Don’t say you won’t think about me.” She blindly reached for his arm. “Because I won’t be able to stop thinking about you.”
His rigid stance collapsed, and he pulled her close. “Don’t cry, Maddie.” Hearing the compassion in his voice again made her cry even harder. He held her face in his hands, and when he gave up trying to wipe away her tears, he pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
She gripped his arms, afraid he’d change his mind and move away. But she couldn’t talk, couldn’t force any words through a throat tight with emotion. Heat emanated from her face, though the tears had stopped flowing. She wanted him to pull her close and hold her, but she was afraid that wouldn’t be enough. She wanted to bury herself in him, in the smells of his soap and the faint scent of detergent on his clothing.
When she looked up at him, his eyes were squeezed shut. She’d admitted too much, more than she even knew. It was already too late. When he left, her heart was going to shatter.
He moved back, and she saw the pain as he took in her face, which must be a mess. “I’m sorry I made you cry, Maddie. I just don’t want you to give up. When I leave…when I think about you—and I will think about you—I want to know you’re okay.”
She nodded. He was being tough on her, just like he’d done before. But it wasn’t his words that made her feel alive. It was the way he was holding her, and talking to her now.
“Maybe Wayne did send me to you,” he said. “Maybe he wanted me to bring you back to life.”
His kiss made her feel more alive than anything. She could taste the salt of her tears as he moved his mouth against hers. His lips were soft, and she felt them part slightly before he thought better of deepening the kiss and stepped back.
“Ready to go for that boat ride?” he asked in a rough voice.
She nodded again, then remembered why she’d come inside to begin with. “Wait a minute.” She turned to the short hallway that led to the master bedroom. Then she walked in, holding her breath and waiting for more memories to assail her when she saw the black bed in the middle of the room. Nothing came. She was still too raw from Chase’s words, and still too ragged from his kiss.
She went to the closet and pulled down several shirts and a few pairs of pants. She held them out as a peace offering.
“I don’t know if the pants will fit, but maybe the shirts will. Mom got him these for Christmas, and they were too big.”
He looked inside the waistband of the pants and handed them back to her. “I’m not a twenty-eight waist but thanks.” Then he pulled his T-shirt off and slid into one of the button-down shirts. It was a little tight, but it was new and clean. “These’ll work.”
“Okay.” She went to the kitchen sink and splashed water on her face, then blew her nose with a paper towel. A crystal angel caught the late afternoon rays coming through the window. It was spinning from some unfelt breeze. “I’m ready.”
And she meant those words in a new way. She just wasn’t sure what it was yet.
CHAPTER 11
“Baby is out of control!” Colleen screamed.
Mom was peeling potatoes at the sink. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to go out on that boat either, but I’d hardly call it out of control.”
“She kidnapped my son!”
Mom pushed her red hair out of her face. “I’m sure there’s an explanation.”
“Yes, she’s gone crazy! She’s with that man, on a boat with
my son. I’m getting someone else to watch him after school. Mom, do something about her.”
Mom poured two cups of coffee and pulled Colleen to the table. It was that awful banana nut coffee, but Colleen drank it anyway. “How can you be so calm?”
“Well, I don’t believe she really kidnapped Quigley.”
“I don’t think she’s going to keep him or anything. But she’s gone against my wishes, and he’s my son!” She had the horrible suspicion that he liked his aunt better than his mother. “She left a message on my machine saying that she was taking Q—that’s what she’s been calling him—on the Dinky and for me and Bobby to spend some time alone. I will not let her rule my life anymore.” She pushed to her feet. “I’m going to stop her.”
Mom took hold of her hand. “Don’t make a fuss. She’ll be back soon enough and then you can talk to her.”
“I hardly ever caused you stress, yet you always stick up for her. Look what you’ve done for her, and this is how she thanks you. All that you’ve sacrificed, putting your life on hold for her.”
“We’re not to talk about that. We just put all that ugliness on hold, don’t even think about it.” She pulled Colleen down to the chair. Colleen didn’t want to sit down, but she complied. “Honey, Baby’s just going through a phase. This stranger gives her something we can’t right now. So, we’re just going to have to wait it out. This morning she wanted to go back to being her regular self, but his influence overrode that. She’ll come back, and everything will go back to the way it was.”
Colleen didn’t like it one bit, but she nodded and stood. “I hope you’re right.”
Mom lifted her chin. “Mothers are always right.”
She glanced toward the kitchen window. “I’m going to talk to Bobby.”
As she walked across the street, she realized she’d run to Mom before she’d even gone to her husband. She shivered. Despite her words to Mom about having had to put her life on hold for Baby, Colleen didn’t want things to change. If Baby became Maddie and moved out, Mom and Dad would get divorced.
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