Spankable Susan (Smack It, Flip It, Rub It Down)

by Blue, RaeLynn

  Spankable Susan

  by

  RaeLynn Blue

  “Jumpoff” by Jeanie Johnson and Jayha Leigh

  All Rights Reserved. The following characters are copyrighted and used with permission: Shara Azod by Shara Azod. RaeLynn Blue by RaeLynn Blue. Laura Guevara by Laura Guevara. Jeanie Johnson by Jeanie Johnson. Jayha Leigh by Jayha Leigh. Reana Malori by Reana Malori. Reid Randolph by Reid Randolph. Dréa Riley by Dréa Riley. Yazmin Taylor by Yazmin Taylor.

  Copyright © 2009 by RaeLynn Blue

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be produced or shared in any form, including but not limited to: printing, photocopying, faxing, or electronic transmission, without prior written permission from the authors.

  This book is a work of fiction. References may be made to locations and historical events; however, names, characters, places and incidents are the products of the authors’ imaginations and/or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead), businesses, events or locales is either used fictitiously or coincidental.

  For all those who love without bonds.

  —RaeLynn

  Smack It, Flip It, Rub It Down:

  Author’s/Authors’ Note:

  Originally, this book was part of the Smack It, Flip It, Rub It Down anthology. Each story has the same jump-off (a few pages that set the scene), but all are stand-alone tales.

  Premise:

  What the heck is the point of traveling all the way across oceans if you can’t kick off some ish? While Denmark might not seem like a place where you’d find the Posse, no country, territory or hole in the ground is safe from these women. Down for a little adventure, they head to Billund—home of the original Legoland. They’re not even there half an hour before the whole group is called on the carpet for daring to critique some of the exhibits. The authorities deliver a long-winded lecture on the history of the toy blocks, which is overshadowed by Jayha’s eight-word response in much the same way as Everett’s 13,607 word speech at Gettysburg was overshadowed by Lincoln’s three-minute speech. Jayha’s polite, “Respectfully speaking, you can kiss my whole ass,” leads to the entire Posse’s banishment from the park. While Jayha leaves, you know the rest of the Posse can’t simply leave it at that. They want pictures to put in the scrapbook of Posse Misadventures. They get a long-distance hookup from Yazmin, who is still in Italy enjoying shopping and Italian hotties along with Reid. Leaving Laura, Shara and Raelynn to use their wiles to distract the guards, Jeanie and Dréa sneak in and get pictures…

  And get caught. Blissfully unaware of how close her homies are to visiting Danish prison, Jayha’s still at the small café where they left her enjoying hot chocolate. Only when she receives a call from the authorities does she realize what’s going on. Rushing to the amusement park, she groans at the sight before her. Besides blue jeans and leather jackets, the chicks are all sporting Viking horns. Taking a deep breath, she exhales and marches in, knowing this will not end well.

  …And so the adventure begins.

  This story is linked to the following stories:

  Getting Dom’d by Shara Azod

  Spankable Susan by Raelynn:

  Whip Appeal by Reana Malori

  Fit to be Tied by Dréa Riley and Laura Guevara:

  You can Lead a Norse to Water but You Can’t Make Him Kink by Jeanie Johnson and Jayha Leigh

  The Jumpoff

  This is what could really happen should various members of the Posse converge on one place at the same time.

  Outside of Billund, Denmark, October

  “Jayha, are you mad with us?” Dréa finally asked in the silence of the SUV they’d rented.

  “I’m not mad. I’m fucking amazed y’all are allowed out without a bevy of armed guards,” Jayha said.

  “We were just trying to help,” Jeanie said.

  “I get that. What I don’t get is how y’all thought wearing Viking helmets and talking like pirates with Swedish accents was a good look and sound for ‘sneaking.’”

  “We got caught up in the whole Scandinavian experience,” Shara said.

  “The fact that we’re now banned from the entire city is a bit more than getting ‘caught up.’ You do realize that this is the second time in three trips that we’ve been kicked out of a place,” Jayha said.

  “You can’t bring up Vegas every single time,” Dréa pouted.

  “You almost burned down the Strip. Yeah, we can bring that up every time,” Jayha said.

  “At least Vegas was warm,” Laura said. “Is it just me, or is anyone else getting cold?”

  “It’s not just you, chica. I’ve got the heat set on ‘Inferno’ and I’m still chilly,” Jayha admitted.

  “I’ve never seen a snowstorm so sudden or snow so thick,” Jeanie said as she pulled the hood up on her hoodie before settling her Viking horns back atop her head.

  “It’s a good thing Reana found us alternate digs or I’d be more than a tad pissed,” Jayha said. “I certainly don’t relish spending the night in the truck.”

  “Yay! Reana,” Raelynn led the other chicks in a cheer. The truck fairly rocked with the sound of the chicks clapping and stomping as they chanted Reana’s name. “Reana! Reana! Reana!”

  “Hella initiation into the Posse.” Shara laughed.

  “Yeah, but it’s a hella fun initiation,” Reana said.

  “You are so one of us,” Jeanie said.

  “Being that y’all are wearing horned helmets, I’m not so sure that’s a compliment,” Jayha added as she followed the instructions of the GPS and turned onto a lighted drive.

  All smack-talking turned into oohs and ahhs as the ladies got their first proper glance of Resort TresNi. Breathtaking. Simply too damn beautiful for words. The sumptuousness of the log resort was obvious, but none of them cared about that right now. They only cared that it looked warm.

  “I hope they have valet parking,” Jayha said, “otherwise I’m going to park this truck right here. I can’t even see the parking area.” Putting the Suburban in park, she was glad to see the troupe of men who walked towards the 4x4. When they pointed to their badges that indicated they were employees of TresNi, she opened the door.

  “Welcome to Lækkert,” one of the gentlemen said. “Go on in—we’ll get your luggage and park your vehicle.”

  Hallelujah, she thought as she handed over the keys. She was about to make a mad dash inside when another employee covered her with a fur and took her arm so she wouldn’t fall. Immediately, she was enveloped by warmth. Now this was hospitality.

  Twenty minutes later, they were sprawled over the furniture in Jeanie’s room flipping through the room service menu.

  “Is it just me or is there a disproportionate number of really, smoking hot-ass men in the house?” Reana asked.

  “It’s not you, chica. Every man I passed was a ten,” Raelynn agreed.

  “Speaking of hot men. Did anyone else notice how many of them were wearing leather?” Shara purred.

  “That’s like asking if we noticed that it’s cold outside,” Laura said.

  “You’re lucky I need to get the feeling back in my body, else I’d be over there teaching you some manners, Texan,” Shara threatened.

  “No messing with the Texans, Florida Girl,” Dréa began. “You know—” she started.

  “Texas is the only state in the Union that could secede if they wanted to,” the rest of the Posse finished for her.

  Jayha couldn’t help but laugh. Like all Texans Dréa was passionate about her state. “Let it go, chick. Y’all know good and damn well that y’all aren’t going any damn where regardless of how pissed off the other forty-
nine states make you. And you know why? Because it’d put a serious ding in your sports machines. Hard to keep that Texas-Oklahoma rivalry going when it’s now an international game instead of an intercollegiate one.”

  Their good-natured bickering was interrupted by a knock on the door. Being closest to the door, Jayha waited while the chicks secured their weapons before opening it. “Yes?” she said to the men who filled the doorway.

  “Good evening, we’re the proprietors of TresNi. We wanted to welcome you to the city of Lækkert and to our humble resort. Being that it’s a little cold out, we also wanted to offer you complimentary hot beverages and sweets.”

  “A little cold?” every occupant of the room asked.

  “That’s like saying the Biblical Plagues were a small show of displeasure,” Jayha said.

  “Yeah, what she said, but he said something about ‘hot beverages,’ so chastise him later and give us those hot drinks now,” Jeanie said.

  Stepping back, she ushered them inside.

  “We have coffee, hot chocolate, and hot toddies,” Blond Hotness said as he itendicated the arrangement of drinks on the tray Brunet Hotness held. “And we have a selection of sweetbreads and cakes,” he added as he indicated the tray Black-Haired Hotness held.

  Accepting a generous-sized mocha, Jeanie took a sip. Ah, the good stuff.

  “Y’all definitely know how to do hospitality. You sure you’re not Southern?” Jayha asked.

  “We’re sure, but we accept that for the compliment that it is,” Blond Hotness said.

  “And you should take it as a compliment. Not everyone is born Southern. Sit a spell and talk to us for a minute,” she invited.

  “We do not wish to intrude—” he began.

  “You won’t be intruding; besides, we’re going to need you to top off our mugs in a little bit anyway,” Shara said.

  They sat.

  “This is damn good coffee. We’re going to have to make you honorary Southerners,” Raelynn said.

  “And we’re not even going to make you marry your first cousin,” Jeanie said.

  “Well, since we’ve been inducted into your family, now is probably a good time to tell you the rules of our family.”

  “Besides no swinging naked from the chandeliers or stealing the towels, what other rules exist?” Laura asked.

  “Hey, I was going to steal the towels, so why’d you bring that up?”Dréa pouted.

  “Well, this is an, um, different kind of resort,” Blond Hotness said.

  “Different how?” Reana asked.

  “An adults-only resort. We require the utmost privacy for our guests and staff and thus have non-disclosure forms all are required to sign.”

  “What kind of weird shit are y’all into?” Jeanie asked.

  “Nothing weird—this is a resort where individuals are free to explore their sexuality.”

  “While I don’t give a shit what consenting adults get into, I’m not only married, but I’m married to a crazy motherfucker who’ll tear your whole country a new asshole, so I suggest y’all keep your dicks and hands to yourselves,” Dréa said.

  “And if we find out you have something nefarious planned for us, we’re going to have our friends—who know where we are—fuck up the rest of your Scandinavian neighbors,” Jayha said.

  “Please, there’s no need for violence,” Blond Hotness said. “Might I continue explaining?”

  “Yeah, but tread carefully or you might wake up in a pile of Texas-style ass whipping. In case you didn’t know: Don’t Mess With Texas,” Laura said.

  “TresNi is a getaway for couples who want to rediscover themselves and for those who wish to explore other facets of their sexuality. We often host various workshops. This week we’re hosting a BDSM workshop.”

  “So far, so good. We won’t stop you,” Raelynn said. “One thing Southerners are good at doing is minding our own damn business.”

  “And fucking peeps up. Don’t forget that part,” Jeanie threw in.

  “The problem is, being that this is BDSM Week, everyone attending is required to wear leather.”

  “What if we don’t have any leather with us?” Raelynn asked.

  “We’d have to punish you for being naughty,” Blond Hotness rasped.

  “Ah, little boy. You overestimate your abilities and underestimate mine,” Shara said. “I’m nobody’s sub.”

  “Except when you’re under your Mr. You begging him to fuck you harder, longer, faster,” Raelynn threw in.

  “Ah, sookie sookie,” Dréa laughed.

  “Shut. Up. I’m seven feet tall—” Shara began.

  “And three hundred pounds,” the girls finished. “We know, Napoleon.”

  “We can mess with Shara later…and tell Mr. Her that she said she was his dom, but first we need to straighten this out,” Jayha said.

  Turning to the trio of hotness, she fired off a question.

  “Barring you trying to ‘punish’ us for failing to wear leather, what are the alternatives?”

  “You could wear nothing. That’s also permissible at TresNi.”

  “Or there’s option b,” Brunette Hotness said. “You could wear a strapping Dane who would like nothing more than to give you a proper welcome to Denmark.”

  The silence was broken by Laura. “Well, I’m not married, so I might just have to take you up on that.” She smiled.

  “Whore!” the rest of the room shouted.

  “Jealous bitches,” Laura returned.

  “I have a question,” Jayha asked.

  “Yes, Ms. Leigh?”

  “If TresNi is so damn exclusive and all, why allow us to reserve rooms?”

  “The Internet has made the world a lot smaller. The reservationist recognized your names immediately and alerted me. I in turn jumped at the chance to have some of the top names in erotica at TresNi. I put it to my guests, and they were most delighted at the prospect of dining with you ladies.”

  “Well damn,” Reana said.

  “Yeah,” Dréa backed her up.

  “Then what was all this business about the dress code. Is that true?”

  “It is true. However, we keep plenty of leather on hand, so you see, all will be well.”

  “While I appreciate your desire to have some erotic authors in the house, how do you know you can trust us?” Jayha asked.

  “You are a worthy adversary, Ms. Leigh.”

  “I am, but don’t let the innocent act the other chicks are putting on fool you. They’re straight badass.”

  “Noted. The five-star hotel business is an exclusive industry, meaning there are few secrets among us. When I saw your names, I couldn’t help but think that women bold enough to get kicked out of Vegas were women I needed to meet.”

  ***

  Smacking her hand to her head, Jayha moaned. Oh. My. Damn. “A BDSM workshop in the fucking middle of Denmark, and we happen to walk right in on it.”

  “Do you want to find someplace else?” Reana asked.

  “Um, no. In case you’ve missed it, this fucking lodge rocks, and it looks like the ushering in of another Ice Age out there. I’m staying my Southern ass right here,” Jayha said. It’s a good thing we’re all leather whores and allowed Yazmin to talk us into investing in a few more pair of ‘fuck me or fuck somebody up’ boots because anything we wear with those are going to roooooooock,” Jayha said.

  “Damn right,” Shara said as she twirled about in her borrowed leather outfit. “I might not steal their towels, but I hope they don’t think they’re getting this back. My ass looks fabulous in this skirt.”

  “Try and behave tonight,” Jayha pleaded. “I already saved y’all from Danish prison once today.”

  “We’ll be good. Now come on, I want to pick out the Dane I’m going to wear,” Laura said as she hurried them out of the room.

  ***

  “It’s not polite to stare,” Jayha reminded the chicks as yet another wave of leather-clad hotties passed by them.

  “Yeah, well, it’s not p
olite to be that fucking hot and expect us not to,” Raelynn said. Seeing Shara’s eyes light up, she attempted to get in a preemptive objection. “We’re on vacation, so don’t even think it about calling a challenge,” she said.

  “Don’t care. Not only am I calling challenge, I’m putting a twist on it,” Shara announced.

  “And what would be the twist?” Reana asked.

  “Considering the proprietors’ sense of humor”—they’d discovered that TresNi was Danish for sixty-nine—“and how they’re all amped to meet erotic authors, let’s give them more erotica than they can handle. Instead of talking about our stories, let’s tell them a story. Whoever gets a couple to come first from the telling of their story wins.”