He Who Dreams

by Melanie Florence

Tanner ran past, laughing at me. “Come on, sleepyhead. Try to keep up,” he sang over his shoulder. I stopped and bent over, hands on my knees, as I tried to catch my breath.

  “McCaffrey!” the coach shouted at me.

  I held up my hand.

  “Are you holding your hand up at me, Boo-Boo?” Coach asked.

  Boo-Boo? I shook my head, still trying to catch my breath. “No.”

  “Boys, I think what your teammate is trying to say is that you all need some extra laps…just to make sure you’re getting enough exercise. Isn’t that right, McCaffrey?”

  I shook my head as the team groaned.

  “Coach—” I began.

  “So let’s see you run, boys! Now!” The coach blew his whistle and stalked back toward the gym.

  “Thanks a lot, John,” Tanner said, banging into me with his shoulder as he ran past. “How about next time you try to actually show up on time?”

  “Sorry, guys!” I called out. I rubbed my shoulder and started to run, catching up to Aiden and falling into step beside him. “Sorry,” I said.

  “It’s fine,” Aiden said. “If it wasn’t you, it would be someone else making him mad.”

  Maybe, I thought. But I’d be a lot happier if it wasn’t me for once.

  Nine

  My alarm rang shrilly right beside my head, shocking me out of a dream where I was taking a reality-TV star to prom. I jumped, reaching out and slamming it across the room. Oops.

  It took me a minute to remember why I was getting up early on a Saturday morning when I didn’t have school, soccer or dance. Then the promise I had made to Santee floated into my head, and I threw my legs over the side of the bed. I stood up, running a hand through my mop of hair. The Pow Wow.

  I had never been to a Pow Wow that wasn’t on my mom’s reserve, and I didn’t know what to expect. This one was in the city, so I figured there would be a lot more people. As I showered, I considered the possibility that it would be much like dance class. And, much as I enjoyed learning with the girls and watching them dance, I wasn’t sure I could handle an entire day of it. But a promise was a promise.

  It was a forty-minute drive into the city, and I made it in record time. I pulled into the parking lot and watched as a steady stream of colorfully dressed people headed into the building. A rainbow array of blues, greens, reds and yellows paraded past. I was gratified to see as many adults as little kids walking in. I wandered in through the front doors and handed the usher my ticket. She directed me to the front row, where I found Santee bouncing in her seat.

  “Hey!” She stood up and gave me a hug that nearly lifted me off my feet. “The girls will be so excited to see you! I was just about to give up on you.”

  “I told you I’d be here.” I hugged her back.

  “Well, have a seat. The Grand Entry is about to start, and I need to go line up with the girls.”

  “Yeah. Okay.” I settled into my seat, wishing I had a coffee or something to wake me up a bit.

  Santee rushed out of the row, apologizing and excusing herself as she stepped over the other spectators.

  “Sorry,” I said, shrugging at the woman next to me. “She’s kind of excited.” The woman nodded back and then turned to her program. “Ummm… have you been to many of these?” I asked her.

  She glanced at me again. “Well, yes. My daughter, Moryah, dances.” She pointed at a picture in her program of a beautiful girl staring fiercely into the camera while she danced. Her costume looked like it was on fire as it billowed around her.

  “Wow!” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Way to go, John. I looked at the girl’s mother, my face burning. “Sorry…I mean…”

  She laughed. “It’s okay. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

  “Ummm…yeah.” I pulled at my collar, which suddenly felt like it was choking me. The woman smiled kindly at me as the MC called out that the Grand Entry was beginning. The host drum started beating, and the voice of the lead singer rang out. Other voices joined in as the audience turned to the east end of the floor and watched the dancers start to move their feet to the drums and enter, one by one.

  The people carrying the flags and Eagle Staffs entered first, followed by the elders. They danced in, feet moving in time to the drum. The men entered next. Grass dancers. Fancy dancers. Traditional dancers. Next came the women. Some wore shawls like the girls, and some wore bells. Some wore intricately beaded regalia. The teenagers came next. If I’d thought the colors of the people walking into the building were brilliant, seeing hundreds of them stepping to the sound of the drums under the bright lights of the arena was absolutely mind blowing. The Pow Wows back home were nothing like this.

  “Whoa,” I breathed. I had never seen anything like it. As I watched, the woman beside me waved excitedly at her stunning daughter. She was even more gorgeous when she smiled. I tore my gaze away from the girl as the junior dancers entered, and Taylor and the rest of the class danced their way onto the floor. They were tapping their feet and stepping lightly in time with the drums, led by a radiant Santee. She was definitely in her element, and I found myself wishing suddenly that I was down there with them.

  Taylor looked up and beamed at me, waving enthusiastically and pointing me out to the other girls. Suddenly I had no less than a dozen giggling girls waving and calling out my name. I waved back, grinning at them and wishing again that I was down there dancing with them.

  “Friends of yours?” the lady beside me asked.

  “Something like that.” I grinned, waving once more as the girls passed me. The Grand Entry was an amazing introduction to the incredible array of dancers and regalia. Some of them were young, like Taylor and the other girls, and some were older than my parents—but all were dressed in beautiful regalia and dancing proudly into the arena. After weeks of hiding from everyone and sneaking around to get to dance class, I saw the pride on the faces dancing past me and felt a sudden jolt of shame. I swallowed it, determined to enjoy the Pow Wow and not make it about myself or my own shortcomings.

  There were several numbers I found myself enjoying more than I expected to before the girls took to the floor. I had seen their routine countless times, had even learned it right along with them. But seeing them with their hair braided, and clothed in their rainbow-hued regalia, made me so proud. Their intricately beaded shawls, skirts, shirts, leggings and vests were dazzling in shades of red, blue, yellow, pink, orange and green. They danced perfectly in sync until the very end, when Taylor had a thirty-second solo that had her spinning wildly, her braids whipping around her head. She ended the number with her signature leap through the air, and I was on my feet in an instant, clapping my hands with the rest of the audience. I stuck my fingers in my mouth and whistled. Taylor waved at me and curtsied with typical dramatic flair. I laughed and waved back as she turned and led the girls off the floor.

  “They were wonderful!” the lady beside me said.

  “I know!” I couldn’t stop smiling. I was so proud of my classmates that I felt my eyes tear up. I blinked hard as the arena was plunged into sudden darkness and the drums boomed like thunder around me. As I tried to adjust my eyes to the dark, the lights flashed overhead like lightning, followed by another crash like thunder. The audience screamed and jumped, giggling at their reactions. I looked around, trying to see something as the lightning flashed again. I rubbed my eyes, then started as a spotlight flamed on, illuminating a lone dancer in the middle of the floor.

  He stood still, staring out fiercely from a garishly painted face of black and white. He screamed out a war cry suddenly and ran across the arena as the drums crashed and then began to beat wildly. My heart pounded as the dancer ran right at me. I expected him to stop, but he kept coming. He ran at the barrier separating the arena floor from the first row of seats and took three steps up the wall directly in front of me before flipping over and landing back on the floor. My breath was taken away as I watched the man. He spun. He twirled. He leaped. He flipped. And every single second was abso
lutely exhilarating to watch.

  The dancer dropped to one knee and pushed himself around in a circle with the other foot before leaping back to his feet. He again dropped to one knee, rose and dropped to the other knee. He stood and danced on, tipping one shoulder down, then the other. Then he spun on one foot, the other knee raised.

  It was breathtaking, and like nothing I had ever seen. And it was over far too soon. The music ended with the warrior standing, arms in the air, face raised to the crowd, daring them not to applaud.

  The entire crowd was on its feet. The ovation was deafening, and no one was louder than me. Santee was applauding beside me. I had no idea when she had even arrived.

  “Did you see that?” I asked her.

  “Isn’t he amazing?” she responded.

  “Yes!”

  “Do you want to meet him?” she asked, smiling.

  “Really?” I stared at her.

  “Yeah, he’s a friend of mine.” She grabbed my arm. “Come on.”

  I followed her out of the row and through a door backstage, suddenly nervous. I saw the dancer at the end of the hall, talking to several other dancers in regalia.

  Santee led me to him. “Great show as always, Sam,” she said.

  The man turned. “Santee!” He grabbed her in a hug, lifting her feet off the floor and spinning her around. “Why weren’t you dancing today?” he asked.

  “My girls danced instead. I was with them for the Grand Entry though.”

  “Of course.” In his happiness to see Santee, his face was completely transformed behind his makeup.

  “Sam, I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is John McCaffrey. He just started dancing with me this year.”

  The dancer held out his hand. I couldn’t reconcile this friendly guy with the fierce warrior I had just seen dancing as if his life depended on it. I shook hands with him, unable to think of a single thing to say.

  “Hi, John. Did you enjoy the Pow Wow?”

  “Yeah. Yes! It was amazing. You were…mind blowing!” I blurted out.

  Sam clapped me on the back. “Thanks so much. I appreciate that.” He took a swig from a bottle of water. “So you’re a dancer?” he asked.

  “No. Not really. I mean…I just started taking lessons with Santee and the girls. But I’m not a dancer. Not like you,” I finished lamely.

  “Don’t listen to him,” Santee interrupted. “John has a lot of potential.”

  “No…I mean, I’m trying, but…” I shrugged.

  “I trust Santee’s judgment. If she says you’re a dancer, then you are.”

  I smiled shyly.

  “Keep at it if it’s something you love,” he told me.

  “I do!” I exclaimed. “I want to dance like you! I just…”

  Sam raised an eyebrow and waited for me to continue.

  I took a breath and decided to go for it. “Did your friends ever make fun of you? When you told them you were a dancer? And how did you juggle schoolwork and everything else?”

  Sam smiled kindly and put a hand on my shoulder. “John, people will always find something to make fun of. People don’t always understand. But if you truly love it, then you can’t let them stop you from doing what you love. And if you want to be a dancer, don’t let anything stand in your way. It’s hard to juggle everything. I know that. You have to be strong enough to decide your own path, John. Does that make any sense?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. It does. I mean, it’s not easy sometimes. But when I hear the drums…”

  “I know. You have to listen,” Sam said. “So listen to them.”

  “I will,” I promised.

  People were calling Sam’s name, and he glanced over, nodding at them. “I’m so sorry. I have to talk to them. Reporters,” he said. “But it was great meeting you. I hope I see you in the Grand Entry next time.”

  “You will!” I told him, suddenly certain that he would. Sam waved and walked over to the reporters. I watched him posing for pictures and shaking hands and wanted, more than anything, to be just like him.

  “So listen,” Santee said, turning to me. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”

  “Yeah?” I asked, still watching Sam. There was just something about the guy that was so cool. Like he really knew who he was.

  “You know that the girls and I love having you in class, right?”

  “Sure.”

  “But I think you might learn more if you try dancing with your peers,” she said.

  “My peers? You guys are my peers,” I told her.

  Santee laughed. “Other boys, John. Remember when I told you that traditionally you’d learn by watching your elders dance?” I nodded. “Well, I think it would be good for you to learn from some other boys.”

  “Okay. But there isn’t another class at the community center.”

  “I know. But Sam runs a group in the city that gets together every week to dance. The boys will all be around your age. I think you’d learn a lot.”

  “Wait…that Sam?” I pointed down the hall where the dancer was still talking to reporters.

  “Yes.” She nodded.

  “I’d love to go!” Then reality struck. “But I don’t think I can get to the city every week. I’d have to borrow the car. And I’m not sure if I could pay for the lessons.”

  “Okay. Well, I can’t really help you with the car thing. But the Pow Wow group is through the Native Cultural Center. They don’t charge anything.”

  “Even if my parents let me take the car, I’d still have to pay for gas. I have some money saved, but…I’ll have to talk to my parents.” I’d have to tell them about the dancing if I was going to drive into the city. And I had no idea what they’d say. I had no reason to think they would be anything less than supportive of anything I wanted to do. But I felt weird about telling them after keeping it a secret from everyone.

  I looked over at Sam, who caught my eye and winked.

  I wanted to dance like him. And if I had to come clean about dancing to my family, then so be it.

  Ten

  I was nervous, waiting for the perfect moment to tell my parents about dance class. I wasn’t sure what my dad, who loved to watch sports and tinker with his car, would think of his son dancing. And since I had never shown the slightest interest in learning anything remotely traditional, I was worried my mom might think it was some kind of fad or something.

  But I didn’t want to lie to them anymore. Classes in the city would cut into my free time, and I couldn’t expect to disappear with the car if I wasn’t being honest with them.

  I decided that dessert would be the best time to break the news of my new obsession with dance. My dad was full of roast beef and potatoes, and he patted his flat stomach, groaning happily at my mother.

  “You’ve outdone yourself tonight. I’m stuffed!” he told her as she cleared his plate.

  “Then I guess that apple pie will go to waste.” She winked at him. They went through this routine every single time my mom made dessert.

  “Apple? You didn’t tell me it was apple! Just a small piece though. Not that small! A little bigger, please. Perfect. Thank you, my love.” He sighed contentedly as my mother placed a huge wedge of apple pie down in front of him and topped it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream that immediately started to melt down the sides. “Mmm…”

  My dad was happily savoring a giant mouthful of ice cream and pie. Now was definitely my moment.

  “So I wanted to talk to you about something,” I began. It was as good an opening as any, I supposed. My dad looked at me from behind his pie, and my mom sat down with a steaming cup of tea in her hand and blew on it, waiting for me to speak.

  “What is it, nikosis?” she asked.

  I took a deep breath and forged ahead.

  “You know that I’ve been taking Jen to her art classes at the community center, right?”

  My mother nodded.

  “Well, the first time I took her, I was walking around the center, waiting for her to finis
h.” I glanced up at my father, who had stopped eating and was watching me curiously. I swallowed, but he was looking at me so kindly—they both were—that I felt my nervousness melting away.

  “I was bored, so I went exploring, and I heard the sound of drumbeats.” I smiled, remembering how my heart had sped up when I saw Taylor and the girls. “I walked in and saw a bunch of girls dancing with shawls. And I wanted to try it too. Not with a shawl!” I quickly added, looking at my parents. “But that drum…” I trailed off, at a loss as to how to explain the way it had made me feel.

  “It spoke to you,” my mother finished, her face beaming.

  “It did! I know it sounds ridiculous—”

  “No, it doesn’t,” my mother interjected, reaching across the table and taking my hand. “The drum is the heartbeat of Mother Earth. It’s the heartbeat of our people.”

  I nodded.

  “I’ve been dancing with them for a couple of weeks. I haven’t told anyone yet. I wanted to try it out first, and I figured you wouldn’t mind. I paid for the classes myself with the money I made cutting lawns. But I don’t want my friends to know. I don’t think they’d understand. And… I want to go to the Native Cultural Center in the city to dance with other guys my age. If it’s okay with you.”

  “When is it?” my mother asked.

  “It’s on Saturday afternoons. And it won’t cost anything but gas money. I have some saved. I can pay for that. I’d like to go, if it’s okay.” I looked from one of my parents to the other.

  My father cleared his throat. “You can take my car.” He stood, picked up his plate and walked toward the kitchen door, no doubt intending to finish his pie in front of the tv. He turned and looked fondly at my mother and then at me. “Don’t worry about what anyone thinks, John. If you want to dance, then do it.” He glanced at my mother again and nodded at her. “Remember who you are, son.”

  As he walked out of the kitchen, I looked at my mother. I was their son. Both of theirs. And I wanted to dance.

  Eleven

  There were flyers on a table inside the hallway of the Native Cultural Center, and since I was in no hurry to go in, I stopped and read one.