A Very Crimson Christmas (Crimson, Colorado 4)

by Michelle Major

  “Austin, walk Ms. Ruth back to the family room.”

  Her son started to protest, then caught her eye. “Can I come back out when they’ve got it set up?”

  “Yes, if you put on a coat and boots. Ruth is right. It’s cold tonight.”

  The older woman started down the hall as Natalie motioned Austin to follow. “The decorations are cool, Liam,” she said as he entered the house. “She’s going to love them once they’re put up.”

  “Should I have them take everything away?” Liam asked when they were alone. His mouth was a tight line, a muscle ticked in his jaw. “Did I mess this up, too?”

  She could have told him “yes,” accused him of trying to throw his money around to impress them all. That would have ended whatever was bubbling between them, cut the connection for good. It would be the easy thing to do, the way to protect her heart from being hurt again. To keep her life orderly and controlled, just the way she’d crafted it for so many years.

  But she knew that wanting to show off wasn’t what motivated this bit of extravagance. The light in his eyes when he got out of the car, the excitement that bounced off him was just like Austin’s. He’d wanted to make his nanny happy, pure and simple. It was an unspoken fact that this might be the last Christmas Ruth would spend at her beloved farm, and Natalie knew Liam wanted to make sure it was one she wouldn’t forget, no matter how age and illness eventually ravaged her mind and body.

  The fact that it hadn’t worked out the way he’d planned broke her heart for him. When she looked at him now she saw a little boy who wanted his parents’ love and approval but never got it. Who’d been sent to a military academy and expensive boarding schools and finally to live with a woman who wasn’t even a member of his own family so that his needs didn’t interfere with the lives of the people who’d brought him into the world.

  She took a step closer to him, lifted her hand to the back of his neck. The muscles corded there, rigid and inflexible and she began to massage them gently. “Let them put up the decorations, Liam. We’ll do the inside of the house with the things she remembers.”

  “She doesn’t want this,” he snapped, the bitterness in his voice at odds with the way his body swayed closer to hers. He dropped his head to give her better access, making her smile a little. Liam was like a puppy, always wanting to be scratched and petted—at least once someone got beyond his defenses. A puppy hidden under a turtle’s protective shell.

  Natalie understood the instinct for self-protection, for not trusting anyone to have your best interests at heart. Ruth had been one of the few people Liam had let in and he was grasping for a way to make her happy.

  “She wants you here,” Natalie said. “She got out the scrapbook again this morning.”

  He jerked in response to her words. “Katie Garrity mentioned the scrapbook. Why haven’t I heard about this before?”

  “I thought you’d seen it.”

  He shook his head.

  “Let me just say,” she said with a harsh laugh, “that Austin knows more about you than he does about his own father. Ruth whips that thing out every chance she gets.”

  He sighed, but his eyes softened. “She shouldn’t do that.”

  “She loves you and she’s proud of you.”

  “But she doesn’t want my gaudy Christmas display?”

  “We’ll see what happens when these guys are done.” She lowered her hand and wrapped it around his hard biceps, tipping her head to rest against his shoulder as they watched the men work in the fading light. “You can’t make them stop now. Austin would be crushed.”

  “He’s a really great kid, Nat. You’ve done an amazing job with him.” He wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her closer. “Your ex-husband is an idiot,” he whispered against her hair.

  “Preaching to the choir.”

  They stood there in comfortable silence for several minutes, until their breathing matched. She felt safe enveloped in the warmth of him. The heat of his body was like the perfect blanket warding off the frosty temperature. At least that’s how it felt inside, as if she was lit from within thanks to her feelings for him.

  The sound of tires on the gravel driveway broke the spell. A shiver passed through her and she tried to step away when Tanner parked and got out of his truck, two pizza boxes and a brown paper bag in his hands. But Liam didn’t let her go.

  “Hey, Tanner, would you grab the bag that’s on the backseat of the SUV?”

  “Sure thing, boss. Looks like the crew is going to turn this place into the North Pole in record time. Nice work.”

  “It makes me feel just like my father,” Liam said, finally taking his arm away, moving to the edge of the porch. “Spending guilt money because I ignored her for so long. I always got the best birthday gifts. There were crazy, extravagant presents the years he and my mother forgot. The more belated my birthday celebration, the more over-the-top they went on things.”

  “That isn’t what this is about.”

  Tanner bounded up the porch steps. “Do you want me to have them bring in the boxes for the inside?”

  “No.” Liam’s fingers clenched around the porch rail.

  Tanner glanced at Natalie. “We’re going to use Ruth’s decorations for the inside,” she told him. “They’re in the attic. I can get them down after we eat.”

  “Sounds good,” he said, balancing all the food in one arm as he clapped a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “This is going to be amazing out here.”

  Liam grunted in response. Tanner lifted his brows at Natalie, a question in his eyes. Certainly he was used to Liam’s moods and gruffness. They should just go into the house and leave him to stew with his thoughts. But she couldn’t desert him right now, watching a group of strangers lay elfin siege to the farmhouse out in the cold.

  “Come on,” she said softly. She placed her hand over his on the rail, loosening his fingers enough to lace hers with them. “Let’s eat, then you can help me pull out her tree.”

  “The one with the fake snow sprayed on the branches?” He held her hand tightly as they turned for the house.

  “I hope she has a singing Santa Claus,” Tanner said, opening the door to lead them in.

  “How did you know?” Natalie laughed, then gasped as Liam spun her around, pressing a quick, hard kiss to her mouth.

  “Thank you for making this okay,” he whispered.

  And she realized it was. At this moment, everything in her life was okay, even holding hands with the man who once shattered her heart. Natalie didn’t exactly believe in Christmas miracles, but even she had to admit the season suddenly seemed filled with a lot more magic.

  * * *

  “Do you think there’s a show on cable dedicated to holiday hoarders?” Liam shoved another box toward the attic steps. The pile was huge.

  Natalie pulled out an oversize plastic Santa from a far corner. “Some of this stuff creeps me out.” She held the Santa in front of her, and Liam grimaced. Paint was chipped off the face, leaving the jolly old fellow looking like the victim of a flesh-eating virus.

  “That can’t come down,” he said with a laugh. “Unless her theme is ‘The Walking Dead Christmas,’ Santa needs to stay hidden.”

  She giggled in response and shoved the figure behind a dresser. “I didn’t realize her attic was so full.”

  “I definitely wouldn’t have needed to bring in any extra decorations.”

  “In the end, she loved it.”

  That was true. By the time they’d finished the pizza and brownies, the guys he’d paid to decorate the outside of the house had finished. They’d waited until the sun had set completely, then bundled up and gone out to the front yard to view the display. Liam had felt like Clark Griswold, embarrassingly excited to flip the switch for the lights.

  As worried as he’d been, it had turned out
just how he wanted. White lights twinkled along the roofline and dangled like icicles over the eaves of the house, giving the whole place a festive glow. They’d set up two large inflatable displays, one of children building a snowman and the other of a family of penguins ice skating. It was a little hokey, but Ruth’s eyes had lit up at the sight.

  Once she’d been assured that all her beloved Christmas decorations were going to be used, Ruth had been happy, which was all Liam wanted in the first place. Tanner and Austin were downstairs in her family room now putting together the circa nineteen-seventy-something tree with the sprayed-on snow. Liam wasn’t much for nostalgia. That would imply halcyon memories, which hadn’t been a part of his youth. But the first glimpse of that tree had brought him back to the first Christmas he’d spent in Crimson during high school. Although there had been no extravagant gifts or globe-trotting trips, it had been one of his favorite holidays. He understood why Ruth’s time-worn ornaments and decorations meant so much to her.

  Lost in thought, he turned directly into Natalie with the box he held. She gave a muffled grunt as the sharp edge of the box’s corner stabbed her in the stomach.

  “Oh, Nat.” He dropped the box behind him and put his hands on her arms. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine,” she said on a wheeze, still doubled over. “Just lost my breath for a second.”

  Glancing around, he moved her back a few steps to where an old love seat had been abandoned. Pulling off the sheet that covered it, he pushed her down as gently as he could.

  “It’s okay,” she said again, leaning back against the faded cushions. Her fingers rubbed a spot on the center of her belly. “I should have been paying attention to where I was going. Or where you were going.”

  “My fault,” he said, removing her hand and lifting the hem of her shirt.

  “Liam.” She swatted at him.

  “Natalie.” He covered her fingers with one hand and pushed her sweater up with the other. An angry red scratch marred the smooth skin of her stomach.

  “This is not a big deal,” she said, her voice sounding more breathless than it had a few minutes ago. He figured he might be to blame for that. Because suddenly the unheated attic was overly warm. “I was looking at your butt,” she muttered, closing her eyes.

  Liam tried to hide his grin. “Checking me out, huh?”

  “Not the first or last time, I’m sure.” She tugged at his fingers, but he didn’t let go. Wondered why he’d ever let her go. “I got my karmic payback.” She pulled her sweater down, but he kept his hand on her skin, unable to break the contact with her.

  “You were the only one who ever mattered,” he said softly, tracing circles on her stomach.

  Her eyes fluttered open, and the heat in her gaze, the charge of electricity nearly melted him. Her lips parted, the pink tip of her tongue darting across their fullness.

  He nearly groaned before lowering his head, using his tongue to lick the corner of her lips, then capturing her mouth with his. She was soft and tasted a little like brownies, sweet and rich. He let his fingers splay across her stomach as the kiss deepened, then moved them up to the curve of her breast.

  Her answering moan made him crazy with need. She kissed him like her life depended on it, erasing every minute they’d been apart. His fingers found the peak of her nipple under the thin fabric of her bra, and she gasped when he squeezed the hard tip.

  “Liam,” she breathed against his mouth, arching into him. Any blood that was left in his head moved south. His desire for her so intense it almost drove him crazy. He needed some release, any release. Since he wasn’t about to take her in the middle of a dusty attic, he decided that his best option would be to turn his attention fully to her. Natalie spent her life working and worrying. From what he could tell, she was wound so tight she might snap at any moment.

  But not in this moment. Right now, she was loose and pliant in his arms, and he intended to take full advantage of it. As he kissed her, he let his hand drift lower, inside the band of her black yoga pants. She moved without realizing it, opening herself just enough for him to dip his fingers into her heat.

  “Yes, there.”

  He smiled against her mouth, loving that she was bossy even in this instant.

  Her hips bucked, her hands reaching up to thread through his hair. She made him wild with her need and he quickened his pace until her breath caught and he felt her body fall to pieces in his arms.

  It made every moment of guilt he’d heaped upon himself in the past decade, every bitter thought, worth the pain. To bring her this pleasure made everything worth it. Why had he ever thought he was over her? Natalie would always be a part of him, no matter how things ended.

  Chapter Ten

  What the hell had she done? How had she let this happen?

  As reality washed over her, cold and hard in its truth, Natalie tried to shift away from Liam, to distance herself from what they’d just shared, what he’d given her. Not that she didn’t appreciate it. Life as a single mother with mountains of debt left no time for dating or romantic entanglements of any kind.

  Plus, it was Liam. Who’d always known exactly how to hold her, touch her...and now...

  Now she had to get away.

  “Not so fast,” he said, as if reading her mind. He draped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer up against the strong wall of his chest.

  “We need to get back downstairs. What if someone comes looking? What if Austin—”

  “One minute. One more minute isn’t going to hurt.”

  She felt his heart beating, then noticed how hard he still was...everywhere. “I’m sorry,” she whispered automatically, turning to face him, moving her hand down the front of him. “Do you need me to—”

  “No.” He took her hand, lifted it, brushed his mouth across her knuckles. “I mean, yes, I’d love for you to touch me, Nat. Anytime. Anywhere. But that isn’t what any of this was about.”

  She didn’t want to look into his eyes, but couldn’t help herself.

  “This was about you,” he said softly. “I want to take care of you.”

  She swallowed, feeling vulnerable, exposed and ripped wide apart by his words. It had been years since she’d trusted anyone to take care of her. And with good reason. Her life was a ticking time bomb, a cracked dam with her finger in the hole, trying to stop the impending flood from washing her away. She’d kept everyone in her life at arm’s length as a matter of self-preservation. Her ex-husband’s manipulation had isolated her, made her wary of letting anyone in. What if Brad tried to take advantage of someone she loved? Even though she’d denied it, there was still a possibility Ruth had some contact with him, and Liam...

  Liam would be a prize mark for someone like Brad.

  She couldn’t run the risk of Liam finding out how much baggage she carted with her wherever she went. But she wanted to, with every part of her. She wanted to reveal her fears, her anger—to share the burden of her failed marriage so she didn’t have to shoulder the regret alone. Despite all the years he’d been gone, Liam was the one person she wanted to tell.

  She opened her mouth to say the words as he brushed his finger along her cheek, tracing the dark circle under her eye that lack of sleep had put there. A noise from the bottom of the stairs broke the spell between them.

  “Mom, Ms. Ruth wants to know if you found the box with the angel for the tree?” Austin’s innocent voice called up.

  Natalie scrambled off the couch, whirling to where light glowed from the floor below. “We’ve got it all, buddy.” She picked up one of the boxes. “On our way down.”

  “Natalie.” Liam’s tone held a note of frustration. “What we started here isn’t finished.”

  She remembered that about him. Liam had never liked being denied, and Natalie was a master of denial.

  “What have we sta
rted?” she asked, the words coming out on a harsh breath. “What do you really think is going on here?” She gripped the edge of the box so tight her fingers ached.

  “You and I—”

  “Were finished years ago,” she interrupted. “When you walked away from Crimson and I stayed. My life is here, Liam. It’s small and contained, and I like it that way. I’ve been taking care of my son and me for a long time. I don’t need or want help.” Her voice cracked on the lie, but she didn’t stop. “You are fancy light displays and crews of workers. I’m a few boxes of old decorations stuffed up in the attic. Those two things don’t mesh.”

  “I’m stuck out in the cold while you’re inside where it counts?” He practically spat the words, twisting the meaning of what she’d said.

  No, she wanted to yell. You’re inside me, all around me. You always have been.

  “Thank you for tonight,” she whispered instead. “All of it. It means the world to Ruth.”

  “And you, Natalie?” he asked, relentless. No wonder he’d been such a success in his life. His focus was unwavering. “What does it mean to you?”

  Everything.

  “I’ve got to get back down there, Liam,” she answered and turned away, trying to catch her breath as she stumbled down the attic steps.

  * * *

  “I’ve got a meeting scheduled with the development committee of Crimson’s town council. Tomorrow at nine.” It was Sunday morning, and Tanner pushed a box with the words “Life is Sweet” on the top toward Liam. “They’ve got a proposal ready for you, outlining the tax breaks and other incentives the town is willing to offer. I think at least one county commissioner will be there, too.”

  “Cancel it.” Liam didn’t look up from his email. “And no more pastries in the house. I don’t want to see another pink box from that bakery as long as I live.”

  “Are you kidding?” Tanner picked up the bakery box, cradling it like a beloved child. “I’m thinking of staying on in town just so I don’t have to leave these bear claws behind.”