Forever and Always

by E. L. Todd

  Cortland helped us move my belongings in his car, which didn’t take very many trips since I didn’t own very many things. The furniture in my room was already there when I arrived.

  Cortland helped me carry my belongings into the living room and we set the boxes wherever there was space available.

  “Let’s grab some lunch,” Cortland said to both of us.

  I had no interest in spending time with Cortland now that I knew Sean was willing to take our relationship to the next level, but Sean answered before I could respond.

  “I have some work to do, but take Scarlet with you. I’ll be finished by the time you get back.”

  I glared at him. “You have work to do now?”

  “Yes.” He smiled as he kissed me on the head. “Have fun.”

  Cortland walked out the door and I followed him. We got in the car and drove to the same deli we went to many months earlier. When we were eating our food, Cortland wiped his mouth and spoke.

  “He still hasn’t given it up?” he asked with a smile.

  “You can tell?”

  He laughed. “The sexual frustration is leaking out of your pores right now. I can see it.”

  “Thanks.”

  “That’s rough. I don’t think I could stay with a girl if she made me wait that long. I’m glad Monnique was classy, but not too classy.”

  “How are you two?”

  “Great,” he said. “I’m going to ask her to move in.”

  “That’s exciting.”

  “I know,” he said. “I would propose, but I don’t think she’s ready. I want this relationship to move forward, but I don’t want to rush her. I think moving in together is a good step.”

  “I do too.”

  “Now that you’re moving in, he’ll put out,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “He better,” I said. “Otherwise I’m going to rape him.”

  Cortland laughed. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to rape anyone.”

  “I feel like it sometimes,” I said. “How he can wait this long is beyond my comprehension.”

  “I think he is just trying to prove himself,” he said. “I have to give him recognition for that. He is determined to make this relationship a success.”

  I finished my food and pushed it away. Cortland was already done, but he was waiting for me to finish.

  “Are you ready?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said. “I am going to seduce Sean as soon as I get home.”

  Cortland laughed as he grabbed our trash and threw it away. “I have a feeling that you are going to be successful,” he said. “If not, the guy is gay.”

  Cortland opened the door for me and we drove back to the apartment.

  “He is definitely not gay,” I said. “He is just determined.”

  “Well, he’s got some powerful motivation.” He stopped at a red light then turned left. “Did you hear about Carl?”

  “What about him?” I asked with interest.

  “Apparently, not only are some of the other women from the office coming forward and suing him, but the company is as well. I have a feeling you are going to get more money out of this.”

  “I don’t care about that,” I said.

  “Well, he’s going to be in jail for a long time, if that makes your day.”

  I smiled. “It does.”

  “And you know what Sean told me?”

  I raised an eyebrow. He told me everything. “What?”

  “Penelope had her baby.”

  Now I knew why he didn’t mention it. “Oh.”

  “But guess who she tricked into marrying her?”

  I had no idea. “Who?”

  “Brian.” He started laughing. “Man, that guy is an idiot.”

  I started laughing hysterically. “He was never very bright.”

  We got out of the car and Cortland walked me to the door. When I got my key in the lock, he walked away. “Good luck with the art of seduction,” he said over his shoulder.

  “Thanks.” I laughed.

  When I walked into the living room, Sean wasn’t there. All the lights were out like he hadn’t been in the room the whole time.

  “I’m in the bedroom,” Sean yelled down the hall.

  I followed his voice and walked down the hall until I reached the bedroom. I saw the flickering lights and the dancing shadows as I walked inside. There were white candles that covered every surface in the bedroom, and the dim light from their wicks made the room glow by its own luminescence. White rose pedals were sprinkled on the ground and on top of the bed, making it the most romantic sight I’ve ever seen. Sean stepped out of the corner and stood in front of me.

  “I want this to be perfect,” he said as he pressed his forehead against mine.

  “It’s beautiful, Sean.”

  Sean was holding a large yellow envelope in his hands. “I want you to open this.”

  I stared at the package for a moment before I opened it. It was a bound manuscript.

  “Read it to me,” he said.

  “What?”

  “I want to hear it,” he said. “It looks interesting. And I love the sound of your voice.”

  Sean had never taken an interest in my work. He was interested simply because it was my passion, but he never picked up manuscripts and read them for pleasure. I opened the first page and read the acknowledgement. For Scarlet, it read. I thought it was a weird coincidence, but I didn’t overthink it.

  I opened the first page and began to read. “I’m not really a writer,” I said. “I just say what I think and put in on the page, destroying a perfectly beautiful and pure piece of paper and demolishing it with my thoughts, which are always conflicted and confusing. And most of the time, I don’t have anything important to say—or anything at all.

  “But this is the one instance that I do. You see, I’m a bit of an asshole, a complete dickhead most of the time, but I am also incredibly loyal and loving to those who deserve it—for the most part. My story starts a few months in the past, when I was living a blind and pathetic existence. I had the love of a beautiful woman—or so I thought—I had money, food, and water. Life was good. But then this bitch betrayed me and sent me to the brink with rage. No one cared about the pain I was in, and most of the time people didn’t even notice how hurt I was, but there was one person who did care because she loved me—her name is Scarlet.” My voice caught when I read this line. I looked at Sean and he smiled to me. He nodded towards me, encouraging me to continue.

  “But, of course, I was a complete jerk—this is where the asshole and dickhead part comes into play—and I used her. She was my best friend, but I slept with her, disregarding her feelings and emotions. This girl was madly in love with me, would do anything for me—she would even die for me—but I was so blind I didn’t even notice. I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t even care. It was only when I kissed her—thinking of someone else—did I notice how beautiful she was. The feel of her lips on mine sent shivers down my spine, giving me a rush like I never had before. I never felt that way with anyone. Why didn’t I notice it then?

  “No. I continued to be a fucking idiot. I broke her heart and crushed her into pieces, and instead of comforting her when she needed me most, when the jerk at her office was assaulting her, I fucked her friend—someone I didn’t even care for—rather than confront my true feelings for the most amazing woman in the world—Scarlet. All I had to do was talk to her, my best friend, and I tell her what I was thinking and how I was feeling, but no, I decided to be an idiot—which I tend to be most of the time.

  “I pushed her away, and what was worse, I let her go. I let Scarlet go. I knew I loved her. It was as obvious as a colored painting. Everything I saw reminded me of her, from the flowers in the park, to the weights at the gym, and even that weird ink stain on my paper that slightly resembled her, but not really. It took me so long to realize what I wanted—Scarlet. Yes, I was broken hearted over someone else, someone that I thought I wanted to spend my life
with, but in the end, my thoughts were focused on the fire in my soul—the girl of my dreams.

  “I went after her and it was amazing. The sex was incredible—this heathen was a fireball in bed—and that’s putting it lightly.” I stopped and laughed at that part. Sean smiled at me when he saw me giggle. I continued reading. “I loved seeing her love for me in her eyes. They shined like beacons in the lighthouses that called lost ships to shore, beckoning them to where they belong. Just the way she touched my face when she kissed me made me realize I belonged to her—and her alone. The idea of anyone else was unthinkable. What the fuck took me so long? Saying goodbye to her at the airport was like saying goodbye to summer every year, preparing for the harsh snow storms that destroyed our houses and land. I never wanted to leave.

  “This is where it went wrong. The whore who betrayed, the one I wanted to marry, came to me and begged me to take her back. I couldn’t deny the feelings in my heart. She had been the one. I thought she still might be and now she claimed to be carrying my baby. I had to be there for my kid, make sure he had a proper family. I was stupid and idiotic, giving this girl another chance when I never should have. I was losing Scarlet, trading in a beautiful stallion for a mere mule, but I wasn’t thinking clearly—I wasn’t thinking straight. I was obviously out of my mind. I wanted Scarlet—she was the one. Stop! What the fuck am I doing?

  “I did it. I ended it with her, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the skip in my step, but only because I didn’t realize that’s what she was. For some inexplicable, illogical reason, I actually thought—imagined—that I was doing the right thing. That somehow choosing the whore was the right choice, even though my Scarlet is perfect in every way. Not only is she beautiful with a jaw-dropping physique, exquisite tits, and legs that make me want to fuck her just by looking at them, but she is the most wonderful girl in the world. She loves me more than any other—including my parents and my family. This girl would die for me and be happy to do it. She watches baseball and gets into it more than I do, and this hot chick can eat a whole pizza by herself and then ask if I want ice cream. She understands when to push me and other times when to hold back. Scarlet completes me in every way. What the fuck am I doing? Don’t do this, Sean! Why the fuck are you doing this? You are going the wrong fucking way.

  “And then the ultimate betrayal came. I thought the whore and I were together—back to where we were—but it wasn’t right. Everything was different—nothing was the same. The sex was passionless and empty. The feel of her lips was cold and hard, like kissing a desiccated corpse in the desert. She didn’t talk to me. She didn’t ask me about my day. She would rather watch the Real Housewives than watch a nature show like Scarlet and I did. She went down on me, but only because I asked her to. It wasn’t what I wanted. She wasn’t my Scarlet. That was the moment I knew—I just made the biggest mistake of my life. Scarlet was the one—she had always been. I went the wrong way.

  “This is the darkest part. I found old pain killers in my cabinet and started mixing them with rum. It was enough at first, but then I need more. I needed something else. Scarlet was the drug I needed. I needed her to pull me out. She was the only thing that could. But I didn’t deserve her. I was a fucking jackass that deserved to die. She shouldn’t even come to my funeral. I didn’t blame her if she didn’t show.” I felt the tears behind my eyes when I read on, remembering how much pain he had been in. He was half-alive, mostly dead, and so weak. I knew how much he needed me at that moment, and even then, I wanted to take him back, but I knew I couldn’t. Now I wished I had. “It wasn’t the loss of Penelope that drove me into that stage of utter confusion and the blackness of an abyss. It was the loss of My Scarlet—she was everything to me. Why did it take me so long to figure it out? And why did it have to be when I was so high that I couldn’t tell the ceiling from the floor? Or my nose from my anus? I continued to fall, hoping that death would catch me.

  “Then things got better. My Scarlet came to me and nursed me back to health. She shouldn’t have come but I was so happy that she did. A part of me knew she would. The feel of her touch helped me live again, knowing she still loved me, and maybe wanted me. I knew how much I hurt her when I listened to her cry. Why the fuck did I do this to her? What the fuck is wrong with me? Stop Sean!

  “The cab pulled down the street and I knew my heart was in the backseat of that cab, sitting next to Scarlet as she returned home—Scarlet was mine. She had always been mine. I had to go back to her. I had to try. I didn’t deserve her, but I would do anything to prove my love for that girl—prove that I was a changed man—that I could be her Sean. I could make it right if I just had one more chance—just one more.

  “Scarlet screamed at me with tears in her eyes and I knew how much she hated me. She didn’t want me anymore—we were done. I went back to my apartment and stayed in bed for days, doing nothing but waiting for death to take me.

  “Only in the midst of a tragedy did I get what I want—something I would never want. Scarlet had been denied what was rightfully hers by her very own mother. I hated what this woman had done to my girl, the love of my life, my future wife. I wanted to kill this bitch. It was only when I chased away Scarlet’s demons could I get her back. I constantly worked on righting the wrongs that had been done to Scarlet. There was a way I could get her inheritance if I was just diligent and never gave up. Eventually, I won and the check was sent in the mail. That’s why My Scarlet called me. I wasn’t sure what she wanted. We were done and she would never know what I did for her, but I was fine with that. As long as she was happy, it didn’t matter. But she kissed me—took me back. And I was happy; Joyous, stupendous, insane with happiness that I had Scarlet and she was mine. For the first time, she was My Scarlet. Mine. I wasn’t going to let her go—ever. I can never be tempted with another girl, another life, another cheat because I finally had what other men dream of, a fiancé that is my best friend and my greatest lover. Wait, I haven’t gotten to that part yet.” I stopped and looked up at him, unsure what he meant. He was smiling at me, with his hand in his pocket. I picked up where I left off. “After we moved in together, I bought the ring, had it custom made, of course, and asked her brother for permission. He gave me his approval with a hug, and I decided to ask her. I wanted to ask her a long time ago, but I wanted to wait, make sure she was ready to commit to me. What if she changed her mind about me? What if she couldn’t trust me? What if she didn’t love me? I wanted to make love to her, but I wanted her to know it would be the first of the rest of our lives—I wasn’t going anywhere. So, I got down on one knee.” I stopped and looked up at Sean. He was kneeling on the floor in front of me, smiling as he held the ring out to me.

  “Keep going,” he said.

  I looked back at the book, but my vision was starting to blur from the tears. I found the sentence. “I didn’t ask her and she didn’t answer. There was no need.” That was the last line. I put down the book and looked at him. He still held out the ring to me.

  “I’m not going to ask you,” he said as he grabbed my hand. He put the ring on my finger and it sparkled in the light. I couldn’t believe this was happening and how romantic it was. I knew Sean regretted our past, but he knew the events of our lives only made us stronger as a couple. If we could get through all of that, then we really were meant for each other.

  I wiped my tears away. “And I’m not going to answer.”

  Sean rose to a stand and kissed my tears away. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly, letting myself feel the moment of pure joy. Sean held me and said nothing for a while then he kissed me gently.

  “That was beautiful, Sean,” I whispered. “I’m so happy.”

  “Not as beautiful as My Scarlet.”

  I smiled at him. “I like that.”

  “Good,” he said. He turned the ring on my finger, exposing the bottom of the white gold. Engraved in the metal were the words, My Scarlet.

  Sean stared at me for a moment then grabbed my face and kissed me. Hi
s fingers still held my hand that wore the engagement ring, and he played with it while he kissed me. He moved his hands to my neck then ran his fingers through my hair. His hand slid down my chest until he reached the end of my shirt then he pulled it over my head. My heart raced in my chest as I realized that we were finally doing this.

  “I think you are ready,” he said as he unclasped my bra and let it fell to the floor.

  “About time,” I said as I unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it from his body.

  Sean laughed despite the seriousness of the moment. “You deserve a special moment.”

  Sean grabbed me in his arms then laid me on the bed. He removed my pants and underwear then removed his own. Soon his naked body was touching mine and I felt my body lose control as he crawled on top of me. The lit candles in the room glowed brightly, and the soft rose petals caressed my skin on the bed. All of that, in addition to his proposal, made the tears fall from my eyes. He kissed them away while he separated my legs with his own.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  “I love you, too.”

  I moaned as I felt him move within me. Sean kissed me as he rocked my body, and I felt the tightness in my frame as Sean brought me to climax, where I whispered his name over and over until it passed. Somehow, the lovemaking was even better than last time. I felt connected to him in a way that I never had. Perhaps it was because I knew this was it—the real thing. Sean was completely committed to me in every way. There was no one else. Sean sucked on my bottom lip gently and the touch made me charged all over again. I gripped his back as the feeling of pleasure expanded through me and took complete dominance over my mind. I pressed my forehead against his, and breathed into his mouth as I lost control of my movements. I moaned loudly as he made me explode again.

  “You’re the best I ever had,” I whispered.

  “That’s because you love me.” He breathed deeply near my ear. “And only me.” Sean ran his hands through my hair as I massaged his back gently. His body stiffened under my touch and I knew he was meeting his euphoria too. I whispered my love for him into his ear as he came inside me, surrendering his entire soul to me. Sean stared at me until he finished then rested his forehead against mine.