Miracles Retold

by Holly Ambrose

  “When he was walking home. Before anybody saw him, before he came into view, you started in that direction. How did you know?”

  Annie thought, then shook her head. “I don’t know. Just a feeling, I guess.” She tried to remember exactly what she had been thinking and feeling, but only came up with a sense of dread like she’d never known before. “Intuition. God.”

  She tried to put that evening’s frantic frenzy out of her mind — if only for Carter’s sake, as Lon had said. But once at home after hugging Carter again, after the pizza and Christmas cookies, after tucking the kids into bed (even the older ones, just because she wanted to), and saying goodnight to Lon and Grace, Annie still had a nagging feeling inside that wouldn’t let her sleep deeply.

  Her child had disappeared, and she hadn’t even noticed until he was gone.

  It was time for a change.

  Day of Discovery

  The next morning, Annie woke up and tried to remember what day it was. Her mind was soot left by a firestorm. The first thing she remembered was losing Carter the night before, and eating too many Christmas cookies. Carter’s disappearance and reappearance likely had led to the cookie binge — or at least Annie told herself that a little stress eating was all right under the circumstances. Annie tried to remember what was on her to-do list for that day. A kid’s sporting event? Classmate’s birthday party? Food shopping? She couldn’t think.

  She turned over and lay on her other side. Maybe she was supposed to write and mail the family’s holiday cards that she kept putting off. Maybe it was shopping for Christmas dinner. She definitely needed to wrap gifts. Annie tucked her face into her pillow. Forget the to-do list, she thought. Look where it got me: I almost lost my child.

  Annie moaned.

  There would be no to-do list today. Today would be different.

  It was still early in the morning — the fact she wasn’t physically capable of sleeping in when she had the chance was a terrible curse — and by the time the kids got up, she could have hot food and a plan.

  Don’t mess with a mom who has hot food and a plan, Annie thought.

  Annie wasn’t sure if she felt slightly shaky from the cold, the need for morning coffee, or excitement. Perhaps all three.

  In the kitchen, Annie made coffee and looked for the makings of breakfast. There were no eggs, used up in yesterday’s cookie-baking blitz. So omelets and pancakes were out of the breakfast equation. The oatmeal also had been turned into cookies, Annie guessed. After poking around in the refrigerator and pantry, all Annie came up with was toast. Fortunately, the container of ground cinnamon wasn’t emptied, so she mixed it with sugar (just a little left) for sprinkling on the hot, buttered bread. At least it was something other than the kids pouring cold cereal into a bowl for themselves as usual.

  Hannah appeared, her hair tucked behind her ears and her eyes meek with sleepiness. Annie could have sworn her oldest child were seven years old again if not for the too-tight purple sleep set she was wearing from the last time it was chilly — about ten months ago, when the warm clothing had still fit her.

  “Good morning!” Annie said. She kissed Hannah on the forehead. Hannah raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. “Want some breakfast?” Annie asked. Hannah nodded.

  Annie put slices of bread in the toaster. “So … what should we do today? Your first day of winter break. Going to see your friends?”

  “No,” Hannah said. “I don’t think they like me anymore.”

  “What are you talking about?” Annie asked.

  “Just … never mind. What are you going to do today?”

  “I’m going to do what you want to do,” Annie said, “And back up there. Tell me what’s going on with your friends.”

  Hannah rolled her eyes, then looked down and sighed. Hannah felt unsure at first as she told her mother about Allison, her vacation house in Islamorada, and how she had wanted to be invited. The more she talked — and because no one else in the family was around — the easier it was for Hannah to reveal how she felt left out.

  “I’m sorry you’re sad,” Annie said. “I didn’t know.” She re-toasted the bread because it was cold now. “But you don’t know that Allison and the other girls are leaving you out. You are just assuming that. Why don’t you just call her and ask what’s up? If she’s really your friend, she will talk to you. If not, then maybe you need some new friends.”

  “But I don’t want to talk to any of them! I was afraid you were going to say something like that,” Hannah said. “But I guess you’re right.” Hannah looked at Annie. “Thanks, though. Just for listening. I feel a little better.”

  “Good, sweetie,” Annie said. Not that there’s any chance I would let you go to Islamorada for the holidays, Annie thought to herself. Without me.

  “So … you really don’t have a bunch of stuff to do today?” Hannah asked.

  “Well, there’s a lot I should do, but I don’t feel like doing any of it. I want to do … something fun.”

  Ryder bounded up to them. “Did you say fun? Are you sure you know what that is?” he said.

  “Mom! The toast is burning,” Hannah said.

  “Aaaugh!” Annie yelled. “I didn’t mean to keep it in the toaster so long.”

  “That smells so bad,” Ryder said.

  Wisps of smoke meandered toward the ceiling. Annie removed the burned bread and dropped it on the counter. The pungent smell almost made Annie’s taste buds curdle. “Sorry about that.”

  “I don’t think I want toast now,” Hannah said.

  “Me neither,” Ryder said, holding up his hands as if he could ward off the smell.

  “That’s all we have,” Annie said.

  “Let’s go out to eat, Mom!” Hannah said.

  “Donuts!” Ryder said. “Pleasepleasepleaspleaseplease!”

  Annie didn’t think donuts were a sufficient breakfast, but she decided to give in. “All right. Put on some warm clothes, fast. The three of us will go get donuts for everyone.”

  “Wow, you can be fun!” Ryder said.

  Annie smacked him playfully on the shoulder.

  Ryder wanted to ride his skateboard to the donut shop around the corner from their neighborhood. Annie thought this was a good idea, so she and Hannah pulled out their bicycles. Hannah’s bike had a flat tire, but before Annie knew what was happening, Ryder pulled out a tire pump and was inflating the tire like a member of a pit crew.

  Annie didn’t know where he learned that skill, or his skateboard moves. On the way to the donut shop, Annie realized she hadn’t noticed before how well Ryder could maneuver on the skateboard. She made a little gasp whenever he did a jump or spin.

  “You’re getting so good on your board,” she said. Ryder smiled and shrugged.

  Her boy was growing up.

  With a dozen assorted donuts and a few breakfast sandwiches tucked into her bike basket, Annie followed behind Hannah and Ryder back home. The sky was clear, and the sunshine reflected in thousands of morning dewdrops on grass, making lawns sparkle. Close to home, they saw Grace walking with Benji, who was pawing at the dewdrops.

  “Donuts, Grandma!” Hannah called.

  Benji turned his head at the sound of Hannah’s voice and appeared to smile.

  Grace’s wide look of surprise at seeing them outside — Annie on a bike — coming home with donuts eventually eased into a smile. “Look at you!” she said. “We’ll be inside in a minute.”

  Carter met them at the door. “Hey! What’s going on?” he said, his voice still morning-hoarse from sleep. His head with frizzy bedhead hair was the only part of him visible out of the mass of blankets he had swathed around himself.

  “Plan C,” Annie said, and kissed him on the top of his dark-blond head.

  Carter squinted. “It looks like donuts to me.”

  “Why don’t you guys take these bags in,” Annie said, handing one to Ryder and one to Hannah, “and share. Remember, there are two donuts for each of us. I’ll put the bikes away.”
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  After Annie got the bicycles in the garage, she walked over to Grace.

  “Did I smell bacon?” Grace asked. “If so, can Benji have it? We don’t have any food for him.”

  Annie had completely forgotten about Benji. Last night, he acted as though he didn’t want to leave the house. Grace thought it would have been cruel to send him outside in the cold night. So Benji had spent the night in Grace’s room, and she hadn’t heard so much as a whine from him. Annie bent to pet him, and he wagged his tail. “Poor guy,” she said. “We’ll need to go out and get things he needs. You know, until we find his owner.” Benji licked Annie’s hand.

  “Right,” Grace said with a nod. “You seem like you’re in a good mood today.”

  Annie smiled. “I just want to have a little fun with the kids. They’re growing up so fast.”

  “Yes they are,” Grace agreed. “And I’m glad. I’m sure it makes the kids happy too, to see you happy.”

  “Is it so obvious that I’ve been unhappy?” Annie asked.

  “Just busy,” Grace said. “Stressed. I didn’t mean….” she waved her hand. “I didn’t mean anything derogatory, dear.”

  “I know,” Annie said.

  But Grace’s sentiment about her being unhappy gave Annie a hollow feeling that was more than just her need for breakfast. Had her stress been stressing out everyone in her family?

  Back inside, Benji gulped all the bacon from the breakfast sandwiches, and then Annie cooked a frozen hamburger patty to tide him over until they could get him proper dog food.

  “We’ll get you some vittles,” Grace said to Benji. He gobbled the meat in minutes and sat down near Grace with a sigh of satisfaction.

  Angel the cat wandered in and sniffed at the dish where Benji had devoured his hamburger.

  “There you are, sweet kitty,” Grace said.

  “Sweet kitty?!” Annie and Hannah said together.

  “Oh, you should have seen it,” Grace said, holding up her hand into a picture frame. “Last night, Benji walked over to Angel where she was lying on her bed, just to say hello, and that cat got up and let Benji lie down on it! I still can’t believe it. She’s not such a bad cat after all.” Grace leaned forward to direct her comments to Angel. “But if you even try to escape and put this family through anguish again, I’ll grab your royal furriness and you’ll be sorry.”

  Lon finally came into the kitchen, his hair like wings over his ears and his golden whiskers making his face appear to shine. Benji stood up, looked at Lon, and wagged his tail. “Everybody’s up!” he said. “Even the dog.”

  “Dad,” Ryder called. “Glad you’re awake. Mom and Grandma are getting weird. And we have donuts.”

  Lon squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. He patted Benji on the head. “Sounds like a fun start to the day.”

  After breakfast, Annie drove with Grace, Hannah, Carter, and Benji to the pet store. Benji jumped right into the wagon and sat between the kids in the back as if he had always been a part of the family. He had obviously been in a vehicle before, Grace remarked. At the store, while Grace chose what she wanted for Benji, Hannah and Carter looked at the animals and walked around the store. Benji got a free treat at the checkout.

  “Hey, Mom,” Hannah said. “Now that we have a dog, we can go to the dog park. Have you seen the cute fenced-in area on Hammock Street? There’s even a sort of playground for dogs.”

  “Yeah, Benji would surfingly love it!” Carter said.

  “We can’t really say he’s our dog,” Annie said. “But whatever you want to do today is OK with me. How about you, Grandma?”

  “Let’s do it!” Grace said.

  “Yay!” Carter squealed in a way Annie hadn’t heard in a long time.

  “If we take him to the dog park, maybe someone will recognize him, or maybe we’ll see a lost dog sign,” Hannah said. “I didn’t see any at the pet store.”

  “Good point,” Annie said.

  Back at home, Grace filled Benji’s new bowls with food and water and found that he was fine with having a collar around his neck — a bright Christmas red. As a thank you to Angel, Grace placed a new dog bed in her room so the cat would have her own bed back.

  The early-morning chill had warmed to a comfortable temperature, and Annie and Hannah had to take off their jackets. When she looked for Lon to tell him they were leaving, Annie found him and Ryder outside, getting ready to put up lights.

  “I thought you said it was too late to decorate the house,” Annie said. “It’s only a few days until Christmas.”

  Lon grinned. “I changed my mind. We’ll probably just put up a few strands — whatever lights we already own that are still working. The lights for sale at stores are picked over by now, I’m sure.”

  “It will look fantastic!” said Grace, who had come outside with Benji.

  Annie, Grace, Hannah, and Carter set off again, this time to the dog park. There were four other dogs at the park already with their families. The kids bounded up to the gate, while Grace and Benji followed with Annie behind.

  “What do you think, Benji?” Grace asked. “How about some play time with some new friends?”

  Benji sniffed all around the park. He stopped now and then to perk up his ears. The kids stayed close to him, with Carter repeatedly telling Benji to run up the ramps, leap through the ring, go through the tunnel and play with the other parts of the playground. Benji, however, decided on his own course.

  Annie and Grace settled on a bench. Then Grace suddenly sat up straight and squinted.

  “What is it?” Annie asked.

  “That woman,” Grace said. “She looks like one of my nieces.” Grace continued to stare. “Probably not. I haven’t seen the kids since they were teenagers.” Grace smiled and winked at Annie. “I’m going to get a closer look just to be sure.”

  Grace crossed to the other side of the park, dodging a poodle along the way. The woman she had been studying had short, sleek hair and was with a petite girl who looked a little older than Hannah. There was a retriever with them, drinking water from a small bowl.

  “Is this your friend?” Grace said with a smile.

  “Yes,” said the woman, running her hand along the retriever’s back.

  “Just beautiful,” Grace said. “I knew a family that had a retriever. They lived in Dunedin.” Grace shook her head. There were bound to be lots of families with retrievers in Dunedin. She should have said something more detailed, she thought, but she pressed on. “I don’t suppose you ever lived there?” Grace looked into the woman’s eyes and smiled.

  “Yes, a long time ago.” The woman looked away and shifted her weight. “I’m not sure if my family had a retriever then, though.”

  “Oh.” Grace held out her hand for the dog to sniff. “After having a stroke, I’m not too sure of myself sometimes. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was hoping you were my niece, Lisa, all grown up.” She looked at the girl with her. “And with her own daughter too. Those are two of my grandchildren over there, with Benji,” she said, turning her head to look at them, “and my daughter-in-law there on the bench.”

  “Wait a minute,” the woman said. She leaned forward. “Aunt … Grace?”

  Grace’s laugh burst out of her body like a canon. “It’s you? It’s really you.” She reached out to wrap her arm around Lisa’s shoulders. “I can’t believe it.”