War

by Kim Faulks

  He gripped the handles of buckets filled with plastic bottles and cans. A roll of wire hung from his shoulder like a hoop from his drooping shoulders. “Feel like making some traps?”

  I gave a nod and slowly followed, dragging my damn leg rather than lifting, until we made it across the landing into apartment 3D and through the open front door. There was food heating somewhere, the faint smell made my belly tighten.

  The others had spread out, searching rooms and places, finding a home of their own. The faint echo of laughter floated from one of the rooms. It was as though the world was back to the way it’d once been, where families made homes, and people were happy.

  Seb heaved the buckets onto a living room table and dropped the wire from his shoulder before he sank into an old leather recliner.

  The deep wrinkles on his face softened with a sigh. He looked at home here, more at home than anyone else, and I wondered what kind of life he’d once had.

  “I want to thank you for allowing us into your home. I know it couldn’t have been the easiest decision. Lord knows trust is hard to come by these days. So thank you, a hundred thousand times over…thank you.” He lifted his gaze to the ceiling. “The water we had was contaminated, what little food we had was long gone. We were dying out there…I was dying.”

  There was a spark in his eyes as he found mine. The hint of a smile followed. “So, how about making some traps and let’s see if we can catch dinner.”

  I gave a smile and a nod and reached for the wire. “I’ll cut and bend. You fiddle with the rest.”

  He yanked a pair of pliers from his pocket and handed them over, and we spent the next three hours stabbing wire through cans and bottles before seating them across the top of the buckets.

  Lard from my pantry was next. I spread it across the bottles and cans before Seb gave a nod and then called, “Billy! These are ready for you.”

  A hard thud echoed as he limped through the doorway and down the hall. His eyes widened as he rounded the corner and caught sight of me. One glance at my thigh and he dragged his gaze higher. “Okay, that’s good. I think we’ve got enough for now. I’m getting Oliver to spread them out in the basement and the building next door.”

  “That’s good…that’s real good. And as soon as we’re all a little stronger, we can try for a run toward the trees, maybe catch us something bigger, enough to last us a few days.”

  My pulse sped with the thought as the faint green skyline filled my mind. I’d been out there, though never past the city limits, and the thought of the unknown was terrifying.

  “I’m going to need a few of the others to help us carry these,” Billy muttered, and looked at my thigh again before searching my hands.

  And it hit me. He was looking for a ring…he was looking for power—convinced I was the same as Pestilence and War. I licked my lips and forced myself to speak. “What about the girl? The one we saved?”

  “Girl? You mean Cassie, the little one who came with us?”

  “No,” I shook my head, and glanced to Seb. “This one is thirteen, or fourteen, wearing a dark green coat. She told us where you were. That’s why we came.”

  “I don’t know her,” Seb muttered and stared at Billy. “She’s not one of us.”

  Billy just shook his head, limped forward, and grasped the buckets. “I’ll get these out there and come back for the others.”

  And Billy was gone, leaving me staring into nothing.

  She had to be here.

  I leaned forward, gripped the edge of the sofa and shoved.

  Where else could she go?

  I took a step, ground my jaw, and then took another. She had to be here…somewhere.

  Thousands of people had come and gone in my life. Thousands of strangers who I never thought of at all. Some I’d once called friends. Some I once called family, and yet it was this girl I yearned for.

  It was this girl I had to find.

  I wanted to call her Sarah. The name screamed on the tip of my tongue, and yet she wasn’t my sister. She wasn’t family, she wasn’t even a friend.

  She was a no one living in a world of the forgotten.

  A no one like me.

  I limped and shuffled toward the doorway and blinked into the fading light. Night was coming, and with it a whole new reason to fear.

  “Hush now.” A woman’s voice filtered through the darkness. “We’re safe here. So all you need to do is close your eyes, and in the morning we’re going to make this place our new home.”

  Children’s voices mumbled.

  I gripped the doorway, listening to this old building come alive once more.

  The young girl wasn’t a figment of my imagination. She was real and she was here…somewhere.

  And in the morning when the sun rose, I’d find her.

  12

  Hands woke me, skimming my waist, resting against my hip at the edge of my panties.

  Hot breath against the back of my neck followed, more blew on my chest.

  I was trapped between Pestilence and War.

  Any other time that thought might’ve terrified me.

  But not anymore.

  Now it felt like home.

  There was a soft snore, and then a mumble. Pestilence rolled onto his back, whispering words I couldn’t catch…the first time. But I caught them the second.

  “You can’t have her.”

  I opened my eyes, finding a sheen of sweat on his brow. His top lip curled as he snarled. “She belongs to us.”

  I lifted my hand, fingers trembling in the air. I wanted to comfort him. To tell him I was going nowhere. But he was captured, prisoner of his mind and his fears.

  “I’ll die…if I have to.”

  I stilled, fingertips dancing against his cheek. There was no fear in those words, no trace of desperation…just resignation. The kind that came with utter peace.

  “I’ll die…for her.”

  My heart thundered, my mind raced. “I’m here…I’m not going anywhere.”

  He tossed his head right and then left, landing his cheek against my thumb before his eyes jerked open. I saw it in the rich brown of his gaze…him…us…all five of us.

  And my memory was wrenched back to that church with the light streaming through the stained-glass window.

  My fingers unfurled, palm curled to cup his cheek. This…what we had, wasn’t as simple as love, nor was it only desire. This was…home….yeah, this was home. He was home and War was home.

  But there were more.

  I felt them…the others, calling me…searching.

  I closed my eyes as colors bounced around inside my mind…green…red…white…black glinted from dazzling rings.

  “Harlow?” War whispered beside me.

  I opened my eyes and tilted my head. The kiss was soft and perfect as Pestilence’s hand trapped mine against his face.

  Men couldn’t conjure death, no more than they could conjure life.

  I knew that, and yet this…reality felt more real than anything I’d ever had before.

  If this was a dream, I didn’t want to wake—ever again.

  War kissed my mouth, his hands sliding along my breasts and then to my waist. I shifted my leg and the flare of pain stole my breath. The deep, bone-aching throb spread, sending a shudder through my body. I broke from the kiss to stare into War’s eyes.

  “You okay?” he whispered.

  I dragged a breath through clenched teeth and forced a nod.

  The pulse in my leg tightened, sending a shudder deep. I dragged my hand from Pestilence’s cheek, forcing the whimper into a murmur. “Too much water yesterday.”

  Pain took a sledgehammer to my thigh as I pushed from the mattress to stand. I closed my eyes and swallowed the wretch. Agony was blinding, leaving me to stumble. All I could see was the dark…all I needed was the cold.

  “Harlow?” War called.

  I stumbled for the bathroom. My hands slipped against metal as I gripped the knob and yanked the door open. “I’m fine. Ju
st need a minute here.”

  Tears welled in my eyes as I slammed my hand into muscle, grinding the flesh of my thigh against bone.

  My stomach clenched, and clenched again, riding wave after agonizing wave.

  Something was wrong…

  I turned to sit on the toilet and stared at the bandage. Flesh puckered at the edge of the white gauze. I gripped the edge of the bandage and lifted. Tiny red veins spidered out from the raised red wound. I dropped the covering and gripped my thigh.

  “You need some help, Harlow?” Pestilence called through the door.

  But I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t speak…

  I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and held on, using his voice as an anchor.

  They needed me…I had to be okay. “Please…”

  The word slipped free.

  Minutes slipped away, until I heard the scuff of his feet against the floor. I glanced at the door, catching the shadow move as he left.

  I could just clean it. Salt water…lots of salt water, and I’d be okay.

  I’d be okay. I’d be just fine.

  But I needed someone to help me. Someone who was going to know what I needed. Someone who wasn’t going to unravel. I needed Seb. He was the best chance I had.

  I ground my teeth, lifted my ass, and slid my panties down. I could hear them out there, talking, whispering. I just had to keep fighting. No matter what.

  I needed to see this through.

  I gripped the edge of the toilet seat and pushed. The stab of pain was blinding as I limped over to the sink and used the water from the bucket.

  “We’re going out for a while, help the others search for food,” Pestilence called through the door. “You going to be okay on your own?”

  I gripped the edge of the basin and stare into my reflection. “I’ll be fine. You guys go, I’ll catch up with you a little later.”

  “Only if you’re sure…”

  Moments ago, he said he’d die for me, and in those words, there had been no trace of apprehension—no ounce of terror. But I heard it now in the tremble of his voice.

  “I’m good, I promise. I’m just going to hang out with Seb and the others. You guys go, we’re going to need all the food we can get.”

  Liar.

  I hated how easily the words rolled off my tongue. But I couldn’t let them see me this way. Not now that I…that I was falling in…I swallowed the L word.

  The mattress groaned. Drawers slid open and closed, and I stared at the liar in the mirror. I looked into her eyes and wondered why? Why all the lies and secrets. Why hold the truth a prisoner? The answer lay somewhere in the honed edge that glinted in my eyes. It was a truth I didn’t want to hear.

  I gripped the sink and hobbled, making my way to the door, and grasped the knob. It was quiet out there, just like it’d been before I walked down to that train station—before my world was turned upside down.

  I turned the knob and cracked open the door. The bedroom was empty, sheets and blankets left in a messy pile at the foot of the bed.

  They’d left behind indents, from their bodies in my bed…and also in my heart. The ache in my chest drove me forward as I hobbled out of the bathroom and eased down onto the bed.

  My jeans lay against the head of the bed. One of them had picked up my clothes, folded them neatly, and placed them where I didn’t have to reach. It was nice, the nicest thing someone had done for me in a while.

  And it was something I could get used to.

  I grabbed my jeans and eased my feet through the legs before I shoved up to stand and buttoned. I grabbed my shirt and yanked it over my head, buttoning at the front. Socks and boots were going to be a problem.

  Agony was a merciless whip, cutting and searing, as I gripped my socks and slid them over my feet. I stilled, fisted the sheets, and then kept going until I’d shoved my feet into my boots, my laces untied, and, on trembling legs, I stood.

  The doorway may as well have been on the other side of the city. I clenched my fists and stepped. Every move was a hot knife in my thigh. I clawed through the doorway and walked my hands along the wall until I hit the kitchen. A whimper cut through the air behind me.

  I sucked in a breath and turned my head to catch Angel in the corner of the room. “Don’t even start with me.”

  She yawned, then slowly rose to her feet. Dark nostrils flared as she took as step and stopped at my feet. She sniffed the bandage and gave another whimper.

  “You’re not helping, you know?” I bent and scratched her head. “I’ll be okay. Just gotta get to the Doc, maybe he has something that can help me.”

  She just yawned once more and glanced toward the door. I gripped the knob and pulled, waiting for her to shove through before I made a move. Voices echoed across the landing, but most of the other apartments were quiet.

  I dragged my leg forward, forcing each damn step until I hit the doorway and called. “Seb, you in here?”

  The apartment fell quiet. The older woman…Mary, stepped out from the kitchen. Her eyes widened as she glanced at my leg and answered, “He’s gone out with the guys, be back soon. You’re welcome to sit and join us. Not much sense in staying on that leg.”

  Desperation raged as I murmured, “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

  She gave a shrug. “He has a mind of his own, that man. Hasn’t listened to me in over twenty years, I doubt he’ll start now.”

  She stilled, searched my face, and glanced at my leg once more. My leg trembled. I couldn’t still the shake. Please, the word lingered on the tip of my tongue.

  “Come inside now,” she murmured. “I’ll get one of the young ones to hunt him down.”

  I fought tears as I nodded and shuffled forward, step after agonizing step, until I rounded the corner and stared at the young mother, Marie.

  “Take a seat,” the old woman commanded. “I’ll make you some tea.”

  I stumbled forward and clawed the back of the chair before dragging it free.

  “Looks like you could use a healing brew,” the old woman muttered. “Let me steep some nettle.”

  She almost looked like Mom, fussing around in the kitchen, setting the burner alight, heating up the water.

  “You lived here, right?” Marie glanced toward the hallway. “In this building.”

  I gave a nod as Mary turned and shuffled for the front door. “Keep an eye on that, Marie. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  And then it was just the two of us. I glanced at her belly, finding the small bump. “Do you know how far along you are?”

  “Five months, there abouts. Gonna name him Seb, after the man who saved my life.”

  I clenched my grip as a wave of agony passed. “The girl…you must know her. She’s young, thirteen, or fourteen, skinny, wears a dark green jacket.”

  “Mary asked me about her. I don’t know of anyone like that. You must be mistaken.”

  Her words wore at me. For some reason this young girl was a thorn in my side.

  Sarah…her name. “It’s not Sarah.”

  “What? Did you say something?” Marie murmured.

  I couldn’t sit here…and do nothing. I gripped the edge of the table and used it to stand, but I whimpered. I had to get out of here.

  “Should you be doing that?” Marie called behind me. “You’re gonna cause yourself more pain.”

  But pain was all I had. It was what I held onto as I stumbled from the apartment to the landing.

  “You need to get them here, and hurry.” The old woman’s voice floated from the first floor.

  I gripped the banister and shuffled to the stairs and, for the first time, felt like an invader in my own home.

  Careful, Harlow. You don’t know these people. War's warning rang inside my head as a whimper slipped free. I gripped and hopped down one stair, and then another.

  I didn't heed his warning.

  I didn't listen to myself.

  And now these people were taking over my home...right before my very eyes.

/>   "No, she doesn't know, and we want it to stay like that."

  I froze with the old woman's words. Even through the roar of the rain, I heard her clearly. My heart thundered, skin crawled. She wasn't like the others, hidden and secret.

  Now she was keeping secrets from me.

  Like hell she is.

  A snake of regret coiled in the pit of my stomach. Anger spurred me on as I gripped the railing and stumbled down the stairs.

  The creak of hinges from the basement jerked my gaze to the right. But there was no one there...no one I could see.

  The outer door was cracked open. There was no need for them to go down there...not unless they wanted the water.

  Harlow...Harlow...Harlow...

  Dad's disappointed voice rang inside my mind.

  You open the door for a monster, don't be surprised when they walk right in.

  I shook my head, tears blurring, and stumbled for the open door.

  Everything I had was in this place.

  Everything I was.

  And it was all falling through my fingers.

  All slipping away.

  And it was my fault.

  I yanked open the outer basement door and stumbled forward. Darkness reached out for me like a lover's welcoming arms. I sank in the bitter embrace and kept shuffling.

  Voices echoed...men and women. Their whispered words slammed into me. I slapped my hand against the cold brick wall and stumbled in the dark. “Hey! You shouldn't be down here.” This is mine...the words lingered on the tip of my tongue.

  This was all mine. Every apartment, and every room.

  I wanted them to be safe. I wanted them to survive.

  But this...this was an invasion.

  The soft glow of candle light danced against the wall in the distance.

  Was this where they kept the girl I’d saved?

  The thought raced through my mind. I tried to shove it aside, tried to focus on what was real...and yet all I felt was pain.

  The creak of the outer door echoed. I shoved against the bricks, forcing my feet to move. A moan echoed, reaching for me in the dark...until I realized the moan came from me.