For Your Love

by Vanessa Miller

  “You hear that girl?”

  The man peeked in the picture window next to the door, Princess’s head shot up. She immediately started barking, and the man ran off. In the next minute the man was back at the door, but this time he didn’t peek through the window, he twisted the doorknob.

  Princess’s head shot up again, she barked and rushed toward the door.

  “Enough, Princess,” Jarrod said, and the dog stopped barking. “Good doggie.” Out came the treats as Jarrod sat down next to the dog, handed her the treat, and then rubbed her like she had done something extra special. Then Jarrod said, “It’s you and Toya against everybody outside of this place. You protect her, okay girl.”

  As Toya watched Jarrod and Princess, she became acutely aware of something. Her hands went to her hips. “Hey, this isn’t your dog at all, is she?”

  “What?” Jarrod turned to face Toya. “So, now you think I’m a dog thief?”

  “Don’t be silly. Of course, I don’t think you’re a dog thief. But I am accusing you of lying to me.”

  Standing up, Jarrod brushed off his pants and approached Toya. “When have I ever lied to you, Ms. Toya?”

  Folding her arms around her chest, she said, “When you came over here talking about Princess was your dog, but you needed someone to keep her for a little while. When the whole time you knew that you had bought her for me.”

  Jarrod opened his mouth to deny her claim, but the church kid in him caught up to his mouth, reminding him as his father had said many times, ‘a liar can’t tarry in God’s eyesight.’ So instead of lying, he asked, “You mad?”

  She unfolded her arms. “I’m not mad. I know why you did it. And to be honest, I’m blessed to have you in my life. Because having Princess was probably exactly what I needed.”

  Jarrod smiled but didn’t say anything.

  “I don’t even think I would have dared to leave my house to visit with Tia and Jayden last night if it hadn’t been for the fact that Princess takes me out of the house about four times a day.” Toya sat down next to Princess and rubbed her belly. “Each day, this dog has been building my confidence, and I hadn’t even realized it.”

  “Does that mean you’re going to keep her?”

  “I’m not going that far? I need to get back to work sometime soon, and I don’t see how I can manage Princess and a job with all her bathroom breaks.”

  Laughing, Jarrod told her, “We can train her to go out less, and if you get a house and a fence, she can go in your back yard.”

  “Sounds like you need to take your own advice. So, make sure your next place is a house with a fence, and you and I can share custody of our dog.”

  ~~~

  Princess needed a bath really bad. But Toya wasn’t feeling the whole let-the-dog-bathe-in-the-tub thing, so she called a groomer and made an appointment. Then she called Jarrod to see if he wanted to take the dog for her.

  “I wish I could, Toya. But I already made plans for this evening.”

  She wanted to ask if his plans included a woman, but that was none of her business. “You know what, Jarrod. Princess and I don’t need you for this. I’ll take her myself.”

  “Why don’t you just switch the appointment to a different day, I know you don’t like being out like that.”

  “Didn’t I just spend the night with Tia. And I didn’t have not one panic attack going or coming back home. I've got this.”

  “I’m proud of you, Toya. I knew you wouldn’t let him win.”

  Toya smiled at that. “I’m kind of proud of me too.” She hung up the phone, jumped in the shower, then put on a flowery sundress, and brushed her hair into a ponytail.

  “Come on, Princess. It’s time to get you a bath or a shower.” She really didn’t know how dog groomers washed dogs. They never had a dog when she was a kid, and she never wanted one in all the years that she had her own place. But there was something about Princess. From the moment Princess rubbed her head against Toya’s pants, she was in love.

  Her dog had gotten her out of her cocoon. She was no longer content with being a hermit, she was ready to move on with her life. Maybe she’d even go to the mall or stop at the grocery store while Princess got herself all pretty and smelling good.

  When they arrived at the groomers and discovered that Princess was fifth on the list and she had an hour and a half to kill, Toya got back in her car prepared to hang out while waiting on Princess. But when she drove up to the mall and watched all the people walking around, she started hyperventilating as she wondered if Marvel was in one of those stores and if he would see her as she walked by.

  “Calm down, just calm down. Nobody is after you. You are safe,” she gave herself a pep talk as she drove away from the mall. The grocery store was out of the question, she just wasn’t ready yet.

  As she headed back to the dog groomer, she realized that her favorite Mexican restaurant was on this street. She pulled up in the parking lot, practically licking her lips. She had chickened out of going to the mall and had a mini panic attack, but Toya was still proud of herself for even trying. The next time it won’t be so difficult. But for now, she was going to treat herself to some shrimp nachos with extra cheese sauce with beans and rice.

  She called in her order and then waited in her car for ten minutes strolling through Facebook on her phone. Everybody else seemed to be living panic attack free, but she was willing to bet that none of her Facebook friends had been kidnapped at gunpoint and tied up while the man they hoped to build a future with plotted ways to kill them. So, it was none of their business why she didn’t post about fabulous vacations or post pictures of food anymore. She just wasn’t feeling it. Toya had thought about deactivating her account, but sometimes she enjoyed seeing pictures of old friends in the Bahamas or Hawaii and even in Italy. It gave her hope that someday soon, that she would be enjoying her life again too.

  She walked into the restaurant and went to the pickup area. “Order for Toya,” she said to the clerk standing behind the cash register.

  “Nineteen ninety-nine, please.”

  Toya handed the clerk the money and received her bag of goodies. She was on her way out the door and back to the safety of her car when Jarrod walked into the restaurant with this gorgeous, high cheekbone, cream complexion woman with coal black hair that flowed down her back. And not one hair was out of place. The woman looked good standing next to Jarrod, in all his chocolate glory.

  Toya felt inadequate with her flower dress and ponytail. She wished she could have just blended into the wallpaper, but no such luck as Jarrod’s eyes seemed to buck as he saw her.

  “Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had plans tonight?” That was stupid, Toya thought to herself. Of course, he had plans, and they were obviously with the woman who was now pulling on his elbow.

  “Oh yeah.” He looked uncomfortable as he glanced from the woman standing next to him, and then back at Toya. “Um, this is Lisa.”

  Lisa held out a hand to Toya. “I’m Toya,” she said to the woman since Jarrod had obviously forgotten her name.

  He jerked forward as if being pushed and put a hand on Toya’s shoulder. “Lisa, this is Toya. She and I go way back.”

  Toya didn’t understand why Jarrod felt the need to introduce her after she had already introduced herself. Or why he was standing there looking goofy. She lifted her bag, then said, “Well, I’ll see you later.”

  “He-he-he,”

  Jarrod did this stupid sounding laugh. Toya looked at him as if he had lost his mind. “Bye.”

  A couple seconds went by... “Of course, I’ll see you later. We co-parent a dog, remember,” Jarrod responded as if he was on some type of delay.

  Toya kept walking and refused to look back. She knew she was being mean, but she hoped the girl would cheat on him and make him look silly for chasing after some beauty pageant chick, rather than going out with normal women, like her. Someone who wasn’t afraid to come out of the house wearing a ponytail.

  ~~~


  “Why do you seem a thousand miles away?” Lisa asked Jarrod as they ate their meal.

  Jarrod looked down at his plate. He had been swirling the fork in the plate. His burrito was still untouched, and that wasn’t like him. He loved Mexican food almost as much as Toya did. And the chicken burrito from this place was always banging.

  He looked over at Lisa's plate. She had already eaten one of her three shrimp tacos. “Is it good?”

  “Delicious. You were right about this place. I just don’t understand why you haven't eaten any of your food yet. And why you keep looking back at the door like you think your friend,” she lifted her fingers and put the word friend, in quotation marks, “is going to walk back in.”

  “Toya is my friend. But look, Lisa, I apologize if I’ve been distracted. You asked me to hang out with you this evening, and I owe you my undivided attention.”

  Lisa had a fork full of Spanish rice headed toward her mouth. She dropped the fork, letting it fall back onto her plate. “Oh, heck-to-the-naw, I don’t need a pity date. So, let’s get this straight, if another woman is on your mind while you’re sitting here with me, we might as well end this date now.”

  Jarrod didn’t consider this a date, just two people hanging out. Lisa was beautiful, most men would be thrilled to have her on their arm. But he just wasn’t into her like that. He wished he was because things would be a lot less complicated in his life.

  “I’m sorry about this, Lisa. I truly thought you just wanted to hang out with an old friend tonight. I didn’t know you wanted this to lead to more than the friendship that we have.”

  In a huff, Lisa told him, “We don’t have a friendship, Jarrod. Not if you can treat me like this. I think I’d better go.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Lisa. Let’s just finish our food, and I’ll take you home.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want you to take me home. I feel like a fool as it is. I’ll call someone to pick me up.” The waitress stopped at the table to check on them, Lisa told her, “you can box our meals. Then she lifted out of her seat and headed toward the bathroom.

  He really needed to stick with hanging out with the fellas, because his friendships with women always seemed to end badly. But no matter how upset Lisa was with him, he was not about to let her call an Uber. She would have to tolerate him for a few more minutes so he could see her home safely. But when she came out of the bathroom, Jarrod noticed that Lisa had freshened her make-up and lipstick.

  She had a smug look on her face as she said, “You’re excused.”

  Jarrod sat across from her dumbfounded. Did he hear her correctly? Did this woman just dismiss him after he sat at this table waiting on her to come out of that bathroom for twenty minutes?

  “Are you a slow learner or what? I don’t need you here anymore.”

  “I just want to take you home, Lisa. I am truly sorry if I upset you, but there is no need to ruin our friendship.”

  She shewed him away with the back of her hand. “Just go already. I have a ride.”

  “I don’t want you taking an Uber. You don’t have to do that.” Her lips pursed as she crossed her eyes. “Okay, yeah, I was a bit distracted...”

  She cut him off. “I don’t do distracted men.” she then stood up with this grin on her face.

  Jarrod turned to see who she was smiling at. The former linebacker for the Detroit Lions had just walked into the restaurant. Lisa stretched out her arms to him as he stepped into her embrace.

  “Hey babe, I’m glad you called.” He said.

  “I’m glad you were available for little ol’ me,” she purred.

  “Always, baby. You know that.”

  Lisa touched the linebacker’s big muscular arm, squeezed it and cooed.

  “Who's your friend?” The guy asked as he looked at Jarrod.

  Jarrod shook the man’s hand and was about to introduce himself when Lisa said, “Who, him.” She pointed at Jarrod and then smirk. “He’s nobody.” She pulled the man away from the table and then strutted out of the restaurant.

  “I guess she showed me,” Jarrod said to himself and then laughed his head off once he got into his car and headed home. “Women are a trip.” He shook his head and kept right on laughing about the situation.

  8

  Toya was lounging around at home on Saturday morning, still steaming over seeing Jarrod with that Ms. America chick when Gina called. She kind of felt guilty because she hadn’t called Gina since they exchanged numbers and there was no reason for that because Toya wasn’t busy at all. She was trying to think of an excuse for her behavior, but Gina took the conversation in another direction.

  “How come you didn’t tell me about the Armor of God Bible study at your mother’s church?”

  “I didn’t know anything about it,” Toya responded honestly. And then she wondered why she didn’t know... and why hadn’t her mother called her lately? They normally talked a few times a week, but Toya couldn’t remember the last time she had hung out with her mother, let alone talked on the phone more than a minute or two.

  “It really sounds like something I want to attend, but I didn’t want to go by myself. Are you interested?”

  She wanted to say no. Bible study had been her life since the day she was born, what more could she learn? But what else did she have to do? Also, the fact the Bible study was at her mother’s church with people she had known for most of her life, was the other thing that made Toya say, “Sure, why not.” If nothing else, she would go to church and find out why her mother has been too busy to talk to her.

  The Bible study started at eleven in the morning, and Toya discovered that it wasn’t a one-day event, but a seven-week Bible study that was being conducted like a webinar with Priscilla Shirer. Ever since watching Priscilla Shirer in the movie War Room, Toya had been a fan. But it wasn’t like Priscilla was right here in the sanctuary leading this Bible study and she would be able to chat with her or even get an autograph at the end of the discussion. They were doing this Bible study via the eighty-inch screen that hung on the wall behind the pulpit in the sanctuary.

  This screen was normally used on Sunday morning to project the scriptures that her mom or Thomas read from to deliver their message. Toya had no doubt that she would enjoy this Bible study, she didn’t even mind that Priscilla was on the big screen rather than actually, in the flesh, standing behind the pulpit. But she couldn’t see herself attending all seven Bible studies. So, she decided to just lean back in her seat, open her heart and mind and prepare herself to listen and take in everything this woman had to say. Since this might be the only study on the Armor of God that she would be attending.

  But from the moment the video started, until it ended, Toya was mesmerized. The Bible study was based on Ephesians 6:10-19.

  Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

  Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel.

  Of course, Toya knew these scriptures, but she had never applied them to her life in any real and meaningful way. As far as Toya was
concerned, Marvel was her enemy, and she needed to hide away from anything that looked like it might cause her the same kind of pain Marvel had tried to inflict on her. But according to Priscilla, mere mortal men and women weren’t the problem.

  The problem was that no matter who you are, or how spiritual you are, you are still in a wrestling match against the devil. But the devil is so cunning and deceitful that he tries to get us to fight against each other, the people and things we can see, rather than take on the real battle... the spiritual battle.

  By the time the video ended, Toya could honestly say she had gained knowledge and wanted to hear more. The lights came back on in the sanctuary, and Pastor Yvonne was now standing behind the pulpit. She looked out at the crowd and said, “I want to thank each and every one of you for coming out to this event that our women’s ministry diligently planned. As you were told at the beginning, this is a seven-session Bible study.

  “I pray that you will join us for the next six weeks so that we can receive a clear understanding of how to put on this armor to withstand all the wiles of the evil one. If you’ve already purchased your companion book for this Bible study, we have them waiting on you in the fellowship hall. If you still need to purchase your book, please go to the church bookstore and take care of that. We will take questions next week after you’ve read week one’s study in the Armor of God book.”

  With that said, her mother stepped down and walked directly to the spot where Toya and Gina were sitting. “Well, I see that the dynamic duo is back in business.”

  Gina stood and hugged Pastor Yvonne. “I wondered if you would remember me.”

  “How could I forget. You, Toya and Jarrod were inseparable in middle and high school.” Yvonne stepped back a bit and gave Gina a good once over. “And you’re just as beautiful as ever.”

  “Thank you, Pastor Yvonne. You are quite beautiful yourself.”

  “That’s what my handsome husband tells me. But I can’t get enough of hearing it.” The two women laughed.