Overruled by Fate

by Leila Snow

  She took a deep breath and turned from the window to make her way downstairs to greet her bridegroom. Her father would be waiting impatiently for her.

  As she had expected, her father was pacing anxiously at the bottom of the stairs when she descended. Pasting a false smile on her face, she put her hand in his outstretched one.

  "All will turn out well," he promised her as he gave her hand a quick squeeze.

  She turned a loving look towards her well-meaning parent. "I'm sure it will," she reassured him.

  When her mother joined them, her father led them along the hall and down the front steps of the keep. Madeline kept her eyes downcast as was expected of a demure young woman. She heard her father greet his guest and then dropped into a deep curtsey as she was introduced to her bridegroom.

  His voice was gentle and deep as he made her acquaintance and then she felt him step towards her. His hand reached out for hers and he brought it chivalrously to his lips for a lingering kiss. His thin lips were dry on the back of her hand.

  "Can my bride not look up at me so I can gaze upon her beauty?" he inquired.

  Madeline drew her eyes upwards to reveal the face of her future husband. He was not an ugly man. Rather he must have been quite handsome in his youth. His hair was close-cropped and brown, streaked through with grey, as was his short pointed beard. He had small lines around kind eyes, indicating to her that he smiled often. His lips were somewhat thin and his face was etched with only a few wrinkles. He didn't seem to be in his dotage although he clearly was not in the first blush of youth either. He did appear to be slightly younger than her father. Although he was not as big as the latter, his physique appeared strong for a man of his age, and not gone to fat in an excess of fine living. Still, for all his positive first impression she felt no stirring of affection or desire for him.

  His mouth turned up in amusement at her open perusal and his eyes roved over her face and body, coming up to meet her gaze with a look of pure male appreciation.

  Turning back to her father, he announced, "You have a very fine looking daughter, Lord John. Thank you for agreeing to my suit. I intend to be a good husband to her and I promise to treat her well."

  Her father nodded good-naturedly. "Truly, it is we who are honoured, Lord Endle. Please come inside. Lady Madeline will show you to your chambers so you can refresh yourself."

  Madeline turned and carefully ascended the stone steps into the keep, the earl following behind. She silently led him along the passageway and up the winding steps to the guest chamber. Opening the door, she stood in the entryway, her eyes downcast.

  A finger on her chin lifted her face to that of the earl's once again.

  "I meant what I said to your father Lady Madeline," Lord Endle assured her earnestly. "I intend to be a good husband to you. I know I am much older than you but there are some benefits that come with age and I pray I am not being a sentimental old fool when I say that I hope you will come to have some affection for me."

  "I will also endeavour to be a good wife to you, my Lord," Madeline faltered.

  "I have no doubt of that," he confessed. "I find myself grateful for the day I decided to write your father to ask for your hand. You are exceptionally beautiful," he spoke softly and stroked her cheek gently.

  Madeline fought the urge to pull away, reminding herself instead, that as of tomorrow this stranger would have the right to touch her anytime he wanted. She schooled her features to remain expressionless.

  "Thank you, my Lord," she whispered.

  "Endle, please," he requested, dropping his hand. "After all, we will soon be wed."

  "Endle," she repeated. "The noon meal will be served in a little more than two hours. Perhaps you'd like to rest after your journey," she informed politely.

  "Yes, thank you, my dear," he agreed. "I will look forward to seeing you then."

  * * *

  Madeline rushed to her own bedchamber after she left Lord Endle and threw herself onto her bed. Gulping great breaths of air, she fought to calm her rising panic. He seemed to be a kind man, she reassured herself. He wasn't unattractive for an older man, she reasoned. Once she gave him an heir he would leave her alone, she prayed. She stifled a scream at her powerlessness to choose her own destiny but she refused to weep. She had cried her tears last night. Today she must take control of what few parts of her life were left to her. She would mould them to suit no one but herself, at least, as much as possible. With that determination swirling in her head, she fell into a deep sleep, exhausted after the emotions of the past day.

  Nurse woke her just before the noon meal.

  "Lady Madeline!" she screeched from the doorway. "I have come to fetch you and you are asleep in your good gown. You'll have it all crumpled and you've mussed your hair," the woman bemoaned.

  Madeline sighed as she stretched and reluctantly rose to have her nurse fuss over her clothing and hair. When the older woman was satisfied that she looked presentable, Madeline made her way downstairs and to the raised dais where her father and Lord Endle were already seated, deep in conversation.

  Their dialogue broke when Lord Endle noticed her arrival. He stood with a smile. Hands outstretched, he announced to those gathered at the lower tables, "Look! My beautiful bride approaches."

  Madeline flushed in embarrassment and took his offered hand to help her up onto the dais. He chivalrously settled her into her chair before sitting back down in his.

  "Are you rested from your travels?" she enquired politely.

  "Indeed I am," he beamed at her, his face lighting up with pleasure at her consideration. "And you? Did you have an enjoyable morning?"

  "I did," she answered, prevented from saying more by the arrival of the servants carrying platters of food.

  She and Endle shared a trencher and he filled it, asking after her preferences with the utmost courtesy. She responded softly and succinctly, although her appetite was once again lacking.

  Endle ate with refined manners and carried on conversations with both her mother and father throughout the meal. Madeline could tell her mother was quite taken with the man as she simpered and fawned over him. She was still a beautiful woman but Lord Endle seemed to be simply courteous with her, the warmth of his attention was reserved for Madeline. Whilst he conversed with her parents, Madeline shot a look at Nathaniel to see his reaction to her intended but she found his eyes fixed on the wooden trencher in front of him. No matter how she willed him to look her way, his eyes remained downcast. Finally, she turned her attention back to Lord Endle as he asked her a question about her pastimes.

  "I do hope you enjoy embroidery, my dear," he was saying. "My late wife, God rest her soul, did beautiful embroidery and tapestries that you will find hanging in our home."

  Madeline almost choked on the bite of venison she had just put in her mouth. Hastily, she swallowed and tried to formulate an appropriate response.

  Before she could do so, her mother spoke up, "But of course, Lord Endle, Lady Madeline is ever so talented with a needle. In fact she embroidered the very gown she is wearing now."

  Vaguely, she heard the earl's exclamations of acclaim as she fumed under her breath. A distinct benefit of this marriage would be the escape it offered from her overbearing mother. She forced a polite smile and nod.

  "Perhaps you would take me for a tour of the castle grounds?" the earl requested a short time later as they were finishing the meal and the servants began to clear the empty bowls and trenchers.

  Madeline agreed and allowed him to take her hand to help her rise. At his age, she should be the one helping him up, she thought ungraciously. Immediately, she felt a pang of guilt for the unkind thought. Lord Endle had been nothing but considerate to her and he deserved better.

  "What would you like to see first?" she asked cordially. Another glance in Nathaniel's direction showed him still seemingly fascinated with the tabletop in front of him.

  "The gardens seem like a good place to start," the earl responded, draping her hand thr
ough his arm and leading her out the door.

  The gardens had passed their bountiful glory of the summer and had begun to look tired, Madeline thought as they strolled through them. Thankfully, the earl seemed quite healthy for his age. He kept Madeline's pace without effort, with no hint of a limp such as her father suffered. He questioned her about this and that, and told her about her soon-to-be new home. Marbourne Castle had been in his family for generations. It was a grand fortress, larger and older than Alwinsopp. It stood on an important piece of land. Thus, it was heavily fortified and manned by an enormous garrison of knights to prevent raids or invasion. The English king relied on the earl to maintain law and order in the surrounding counties. He also spoke to her about his first wife, Margaret.

  "I married her when she was about your age," he reminisced, his voice growing distant. "Mind, I wasn't much older. We were distant cousins, betrothed from a young age. We had a good marriage, despite having no children. Lady Margaret never forgave herself for her barrenness. It was a constant source of sadness for her. She died many years ago now and I never thought to remarry until now. I have a nephew whom I named heir to Marbourne, you see, but I begin to think he may not be the man I hoped he would be. So you can appreciate, my dear, I now have a need for an heir. You are young and you are beautiful and I confess that for the first time in many years I feel the stirrings of desire."

  Madeline found her face burning at his bold directness.

  "Forgive me if I have embarrassed you," the older man begged, drawing her into the grotto which was built against the stone fence at the edge of the garden.

  Before she could reply, he grasped her upper arms and drew her to himself. She froze and forced herself to remain still. She heard a rasping groan as he slid his hand up her side and caressed her breast through her dress. She flinched and tried to pull away but his embrace was surprisingly strong and his thin, dry lips came down to press gently against her own. "My Lord!" she protested, drawing back from him as his hold on her relaxed.

  He chuckled good-naturedly. "I find I am anticipating creating those heirs with you, my dear. But I do apologize for my loss of control. I forget you are an untried virgin." He smiled down at her as he claimed her arm once again.

  Madeline's heart sank in dismay at the thought of the obligations tomorrow would bring. The earl hadn't been rough or callous with her, in fact he'd been quite gentle. She knew it was common for betrothed couples to anticipate their wedding night early and so what he had done hadn't been unusual or wrong. Yet she had felt no desire for his touch. She had felt afraid and a strong need to escape. To escape to Nate. She could never be afraid with Nate. Didn't she deserve to have a young husband? Not this old man, kindly though he was. Her young flesh recoiled at the thought of his touch. She would never know what the scullery maids spoke of when they talked of the pleasure a young, strong man could bring them. The pleasure Nate brought them. She would never know because she would be married to an old man who would fumble about just to beget heirs on her. A budding understanding of the carnal desires that could be shared between a man and a woman, nurtured an inner desire to experience it for herself. And why shouldn't she? Just once before she was forced to turn over her life to this man.

  The earl smiled down at her again as they walked and he patted her hand affectionately, completely oblivious to the traitorous thoughts swirling through his bride's pretty head.

  Come to me in my dreams, and then

  By day I shall be well again.

  For then the night will more than pay

  The hopeless longing of the day.

  ~Matthew Arnold

  CHAPTER 5

  The feast that night was a lavish affair, with course after course of deliciously prepared foods. Even an entire roast boar, studded with cloves and an apple in its mouth, was presented at the head table to the acclamation of those seated there. Lord Endle ate heartily and effusively complimented Lady Elsbeth on her management of the kitchens. Her mother beamed in pleasure.

  Madeline cared not. She had no interest in the rich foods. Thoughts swirled in her head. Thoughts that made her blush when Lord Endle asked her considerately if the food wasn't to her liking.

  "Oh no, my Lord," she faltered. "I just seem to be lacking an appetite this evening."

  "Bridal jitters," her father jested in his loud voice.

  Lord Endle turned to her and patted her hand where it rested bloodlessly in her lap.

  "Is that so, Madeline?" he questioned gently. "Are you feeling concern?"

  "I am somewhat," she prevaricated. "I have many thoughts spinning through my head tonight."

  He looked down at her with an understanding smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly.

  "It is to be expected, my dear," he comforted her. "But we will manage it together, shan't we?"

  Madeline gave a weak smile and nodded, feeling guilty at the turn her thoughts were taking. She risked a glance over to where Nathaniel normally sat with the other knights, but he wasn't to be seen at the table.

  "Father," she said turning to the man on her other side. "Where is Nathaniel?"

  "She means Sir Nathaniel," her father leaned forward to explain to Lord Endle. "He's one of my best knights. They grew up together like brother and sister." Turning to Madeline, he answered her question. "He's on guard duty at the main gate tonight. Volunteered so the other knights could join the festivities. Always been a good boy that one," her father said magnanimously as he took another big gulp of his ale and swayed slightly in his seat.

  "Splendid," Lord Endle said. "Hopefully he will be released from his duties tomorrow to attend the celebrations. I'm sure that Madeline would want him there if they have been close as family."

  Her father nodded his assent. "I'll ensure it."

  "You are looking very pale Madeline," Lord Endle observed with a small frown. "The feasting is finished for tonight. Your father and I have only to finalize the documents regarding the dowry and then there will be no impediment to our marriage on the morrow. Perhaps you might like to retire early so you will be well rested for the long day ahead of you. "

  Madeline looked around at the trestle tables below them, some of them filled with their people and some filled with Lord Endle's people. They were still drinking and making merry. She envied them their lack of concern in this moment. Her heart weighed heavy within her chest and rushes of emotion were confusing her, making it difficult to concentrate on conversation. She wondered why Nate had volunteered for sentry duty. Tonight of all nights. Didn't he know she needed him to be here?

  She flashed Lord Endle a smile of gratitude for handing her the perfect excuse to escape the suffocating cheerfulness of the hall.

  "Yes, I do think that would be best," she agreed. "A good night's sleep will be just what I need. I will bid you good eve," she intoned formally as she rose.

  Lord Endle quickly set his own tankard of ale down onto the wooden table and stood, taking her hand. He pressed a long kiss onto the back of it and wished her a goodnight. "Until the morrow my dear," he bid her.

  Madeline's nurse had noticed her rise and bustled over to escort her upstairs. Madeline gave another small smile in Lord Endle's direction and distractedly bid her father and mother goodnight also, before allowing her nurse to link her arm through hers and lead her upstairs.

  Nurse was chatty and chipper as she helped Madeline ready herself for bed.

  "Tomorrow’s eve you will be readying yourself for the marriage bed," she crowed. "And to an earl no less. I knew your father would do well by you, girl."

  "Nursey!" Madeline said, her thoughts snapped back to reality. "That's not something I'm interested in discussing with you. Mind your tongue."

  Her nurse chuckled, non-contrite under her breath.

  "Out," Madeline insisted. "I find I am not in the mood for your insolence tonight."

  The woman took the green gown and threw it over her arm to be packed for Madeline's travels the following day and sauntered out. The wedding
would take place in the morning as was tradition. There would be a large breakfast feast and then the new bride and groom would depart for Marbourne Castle in order to arrive before nightfall. Another wedding feast would be awaiting them on their arrival at their marital home.

  Madeline strode back to her window. Leaning on the thick stone ledge of the opening she stared out into the darkness towards the training grounds. Images of Nathaniel training earlier that day began flooding her mind. Despite the coolness of the air streaming in through the window and the thinness of her chemise, she found herself growing warm, the heat rising to her cheeks. She was a soon-to-be married woman on the eve of her wedding to a good man. But her thoughts were of Nate, and she knew them to be indecent. The words of the scullery maids repeated ceaselessly in her mind. She was restless and longing for something she didn't understand. Her eyes strained through the darkness to see the tower next to the main gate, where Nate would be guarding his post, keeping the entire population of the castle safe from invaders. She wondered what exactly he was doing right now.

  Below her, the revelers began to leave the keep, laughing and exchanging crude jokes fuelled by the ale that her father had generously supplied in celebration of his only daughter's pending marriage.

  Madeline stood at the window in a suspended state of disbelief at the turn her life had taken. Never had she accepted that she would one day be forced to marry and become a true lady. She had always wanted to control her own destiny. She could see now how naive that hope had been. Even if she was willing to be a social pariah, she had responsibilities to her parents and the people who depended on her father. It wasn't just about her. She glanced back over to where she knew the guard tower stood in the blackness of the night.