by Leila Snow
But surely, just for one night it could be.
* * *
Slowly the sounds of the castle settled. The bustling of servants past her door and the noise from the great hall faded into whispers. Eventually, that heaviness of silence descended in those hours of the night when it seemed that even the stones of the great building slept for a few hours.
Still, Madeline stood at her window. Her mind was made and her stomach fluttered as if butterflies were trapped inside. All that was required was to force her legs to move and her feet to take the hundred or so steps that would lead to the guard tower. Her muscles ached when she took the first step, stiff after standing at the window for hours. Grimacing, she moved stealthily towards her door, cracking it to peer cautiously out into the hallway. There was no light to be seen. It was black as pitch. Briefly she retreated back into her room to grasp a candlestick from the mantle above the fireplace. With the flickering light from the candle she navigated the dark hallway and up the stairs to the door that led to the walkway around the crenulated wall of the castle. A rush of wind, when she opened the heavy wooden door, caused her candle to gutter and die, leaving her standing in the moonlight that streamed through the open door. The accompanying breeze whispered around her feet and legs. Her chemise slid sensually against the sensitive skin of her bare legs. The stone floor was smooth and cool against her bare feet.
She blinked, allowing her eyes to adjust to the change of light, and found she could see enough to pick her way along the stone walkway at the top of the castle wall. Between the crenulations she could see glimpses of the countryside far below her, glimmering silver in the light from the moon. She shivered at the wind that blew more strongly at this height and picked up her pace, her goal only a few steps ahead of her.
Madeline almost panicked and abandoned her course of action when she finally stood face to face with the crude door that was all that separated her from Nate. The stresses from weeks of wedding preparations must be making her mad, she thought to herself as her hand rested on the latch of the door. What if Nate didn't find her attractive or had no interest in her in that manner? It would be mortifying to be rejected and turned away.
Nevertheless, she found herself flexing her arm muscles to pull at the heavy door. With an almost imperceptible squeak, it opened. Accustomed to the brightness of the moon, she was unable to see anything within the dark interior. Suddenly, an arm shot out and wrapped around her neck, hauling her forcefully through the doorway. She crashed back against the stone wall, unable to move out of surprise. A large arm lay heavily across her throat preventing her from drawing a satisfying breath.
There was the sound of a flint striking against the stone near her head and then a small spark that momentarily illuminated Nate's angry face above hers.
"Nate," she squeaked out past the pressure on her throat.
"My God!" she heard his disembodied voice. "Madeline?"
Suddenly his forearm dropped from her neck and she collapsed coughing onto the floor in a boneless pile of white linen. Somewhere to her left she was vaguely aware of the flare of a candle lighting and a moment later, Nate was kneeling in front of her.
"My God, Madeline!" he repeated in the flicker of candlelight. "What in the hell are you doing here?"
She shook her head, eyes filling with tears.
"I wanted to see you. To be with you. I didn't want tomorrow to come without knowing."
Nate didn't respond but carefully lifted her into his arms and strode to the far side of the room. He set her gently on the small pallet. She realized she was shivering just as he wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. Then he sank down on his haunches in front of her and reached for her hands, chafing them between his own to warm them.
"Linny, I don't understand," he spoke softly, gently.
She could see the confusion in his warm eyes and instantly felt insecure and reluctant to explain herself. She lowered her eyes to her hands and searched for the right words.
"What do you want to know before tomorrow?" he questioned again.
He allowed her a long pause as she gained her resolve, all the whilst rubbing her hands between his, making sparks ignite where he touched her. She gazed into the hard planes of his face. His tawny hair fell loosely down to his strong jaw. The leather thong that usually held it back had been removed and for the second time she longed to run her fingers through it. His familiar blue eyes sought an explanation deep in her own. As well as he knew her, she was surprised that he wasn't able to read her thoughts. Finally she spoke.
"I want to know what it's like to be with you." She stammered over the words.
The confusion deepened in Nate's eyes.
"We've been together since we were children," he said slowly.
Madeline flushed, but pressed on. "No, Nate. I mean be with you. As a man and a woman."
He dropped her hands instantly and pushed himself to his feet. Backing away from her a few steps, he then spun, turning away from her. Suddenly, she feared that her wanton longings had forced a grave error of judgment, and she had now ruined the friendship they had shared since childhood.
After a long, painful moment he slowly faced her, his face tight and drawn.
"You don't know what you're asking Madeline," he ground out. "You are to be married tomorrow. You will find the answers to your curiosity then."
"With an old man," she bemoaned. "I want to know the loving of a young, virile man just once. Just once before I am chained to an old man for the rest of my life."
He slowly shook his head, his hair swinging with the movement. Pain flashed in his eyes. His strong fingers swiped through the thick locks of his hair, mussing it even further.
"Nate, don't turn me away," she pleaded.
She could see his chest rising and falling with his quickened breaths. He knelt down before her again and gazed deeply into her eyes.
"Are you certain about this, Madeline?" he questioned searchingly. "Won't you regret this later?"
She raised her hands and pressed her palms against either side of his face. She leaned toward him and her breasts pressed against the thin linen of her chemise. Her musky perfume wafted up to tantalize his nose with its scent.
"The only thing I would regret is not knowing," she whispered.
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I’ll not look for wine.
The thirst that from
the soul doth rise
Doth ask a drink divine;
But might I of Jove’s nectar sup,
I would not change for thine.
~Ben Jonson
CHAPTER 6
"Madeline," he groaned. "I cannot resist you anything..."
"Then do not," she interjected, finally allowing her hands to sneak up to tangle in the thickness of his sandy hair as they had been craving.
He reached up and caught her hands in his. Turning them over, he bent his head down and pressed his heated lips to the sensitive palms. Madeline gasped at the bolt of lightening that shot up her arm at the touch of his mouth. Slowly his lips travelled to the inside of her wrist and further to the soft inside of her elbow. The quiet fluttering in her stomach that had plagued her all night stirred to life again. She felt hot and restless as his mouth moved up her arm and languorously across her collarbone. She sighed, her head falling back as he nibbled and sucked at the slender column of her neck.
She was intensely aware of his calloused hand searching under her nightgown to brush against the bare skin of her calf, which he began to caress in small, feather-light circles. His other hand came up to cup her head when it arched back. Her eyes slid closed in wonderment at the delicious sensations he was arousing in her. His lips moved off her neck and she murmured a complaint. She felt the ripples of his chuckle just before the hot touch of them against her mouth. With a groan from deep inside her, she pressed her breasts against his chest and leaned into him, her arm
s coming up to tangle in his hair yet again and hold him to herself.
Nathaniel had only planned to take a small taste. He hadn't been able to help himself after longing to touch her for so many years. He had spent countless days wondering how her lips would taste and how soft her skin would feel. Somewhere in the fog of his mind, he knew he should stop. He knew she needed to go to her husband untouched, but his body had a will of its own. Having Madeline here in the privacy of the night, pleading with him to touch her, was more than he could resist. And so touch her he did.
He ran his tongue across the fullness of her lips and slipped it inside to taste the velvety heat of her. He heard a long, low moan reverberate from deep within her as her tongue came tentatively out to greet his. Pulling her fast against himself, he devoured her mouth as she met him kiss for ravenous kiss. Their hands clutched in each other's hair in a frenzy of need and desire. A fire that had long been banked, now suddenly flared to life like a raging inferno.
"Madeline," he finally pulled back, chest heaving breathlessly. "We shouldn't. I can't."
She gazed deeply into his eyes, and without a word, drew herself up before him. Her eyes never leaving his, she leaned towards him and grasped the hem of her chemise, slowly and tantalizingly lifting it up over her knees, her thighs, her waist, and her breasts, before pulling it over her head and dropping it carelessly to the floor.
He stared in awe at the perfection of her. Her long legs rose to flare into softly rounded hips and then dip to a tiny waist. Her breasts were high and round with dusky tips, pointed in the cool of the room. She smiled and beckoned to him like a siren. There was no hope. He was incapable of turning away from her.
Slowly he also stood. Standing before her he suddenly felt uncertain of himself. He was no untried boy. He enjoyed the women of the keep and they enjoyed him. But this was no ordinary woman. This woman standing before him was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on, moreover this was the woman he loved as he had never loved another.
With shaking hands she reached over and fumbled with the ties on his tunic. His hands came up to help her and when they were loosened he pulled the tunic over his head and tossed it aside. Quickly he divested himself of his chausses and braies then reached his arms out to Madeline.
A gleam of gold glinted from against his hard chest. She reached out a trembling hand and lifted the heavy pendant that rested there.
"All these years later and you are wearing it," she whispered in awe.
"I have never taken it off, since the day you gave it to me," he confessed, looking down at where it lay glowing in her small hand. "It is my most valued possession, for indeed, the stone reminds me of your eyes."
Madeline dropped the pendant and moved smoothly into his arms without reserve or second thought. He held her for a long moment against himself, skin against hot skin. She shuddered as he stroked her back. His hands trailed down to her rounded bottom and he drew her up against the evidence of his desire for her. She didn't flinch or pull away but arched her back, pressing her hips against him instinctively
Without effort he picked her up and laid her on the pallet.
"You deserve feathers and silk, my love," he apologized huskily in her ear as he came down to lie beside her.
"My only want and need is for you, Nate."
She shivered as his hand slid across her hip and around to tickle at her inner thigh. Her head tipped back and her lips sought and found his. Opening her mouth she drew his kiss deeper. Soon the magic of his fingers on her inner thigh had her panting. Her legs draped open as he stroked higher, finally reaching the moistness that ached for his touch. She flinched at the streak of sensation that shot to her core when he stroked at the tiny bud between her folds.
"Ahhh Nate," she groaned.
Shifting his weight, he nudged her legs apart even further. He smothered her face in kisses, before returning his questing lips to her mouth. His tongue mimicked the movement she realized her hips were making. She was craving something. She knew not what but she was certain that only Nate could assuage her need.
"Nate," she begged. "Nate, please." She arched her back and ground her hips against his pelvis.
His manhood pressed hard and insistent against the place that was weeping with want. She felt an insistent probing between her legs that only increased her desire. She clawed at the hard globes of his bottom, trying to bring herself relief.
Nate tried to hold back. Tried to be slow and gentle with her. But her frenzied writhing beneath him was more than he could bear. The world ceased to exist, save for this woman whom he wanted more than life itself.
He reached his hand down between them and teased the sensitive flesh, finding her wet and ready for him. With great restrain he pushed just barely into her tight passage. He withdrew slightly when he met with resistance and then pushed forward again when she protested his withdrawal.
She pulled his hips towards herself trying to draw more of him within her. She was rewarded when he let go of his control and drove into her. She cried out with the pain and pleasure of him filling her. They became one in that instant and she knew she would never be the same woman again.
Nate held still, deep within her. Sweat beading on his forehead at the sheer herculean effort of it. He kissed her lips and whispered sweet words of love against them. It was only a short moment before he felt the tenseness leave her body and felt her hips stirring once more against his. He withdrew only a fraction and plunged back into her wetness. She groaned and clutched his backside meeting his thrust. He lowered his head and took one of her nipples into his mouth. She cried out and bucked against him.
The paired sensation of Nate's mouth sucking at her breast whilst his manhood filled her sent Madeline into fits of rapture. She bucked and writhed and moaned beneath him. Her entire being was consumed by exhilaration and want of him. His breath was hot against her breast where he murmured his adoration of her and he ground himself into her core. His tempo increased until she found herself clinging to him and reaching for something she was desperate for.
Almost imperceptibly the sensation between her legs increased to a throbbing insistency before suddenly, she exploded into pieces. The most exquisite sensation pulsed through her as she fought for breath at the sheer ecstasy of it.
Nate had been struggling to control himself, waiting for Madeline to find her pleasure. As her passage gripped and throbbed around him, he threw back his head and pushed into her one last time, his seed spilling inside her as he gave himself over fully to this woman.
Slowly, Madeline drifted back to consciousness, her hands still clutching at Nate. He was still inside her and the delicious weight of him still rested between her quivering thighs. She could feel his breath slowing where his head lay pressed into the crook of her neck. Gently she stroked her hands down the dampness of his back and was rewarded with a groan from him. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and brushed an errant curl from her face.
"Do you have any idea what just happened? That was beyond..." he trailed off.
She gazed up at him. "That was amazing. Thank you, Nate," she murmured softly.
"It was beyond amazing," he smiled down at her and kissed the tip of her nose. The ease of his smile belied the confusion and distance in his eyes.
"Is it not always like that?" she asked innocently. "I have overheard the scullery maids talking," she explained blushing.
She felt him slip from her body as he rolled his weight off of her and tucked her against his side.
"No, it is not always like that. I have never experienced that before." His voice was low and sober.
Madeline squirmed closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her in a cocooning warmth. She nodded as she felt her eyes slide closed, purely satisfied and completely content for the first time in her life.
* * *
It was still dark in the tower room when Nate awoke her, nuzzling at her neck.
"Wake up, my love," he whispered.
She stretched li
ke a cat and was rewarded by a hitch in his breath. The candle had burnt out sometime whilst she slept. She couldn't see his face but reached for him nonetheless, her fingers connecting with the warmth of his skin. She slid her hands down his thick biceps and back up his sculpted torso to his face. She pulled his face down to hers, wanting to feel his lips on hers again.
"Madeline," she could hear the roughness in his voice. "It's almost dawn. You need to go."
"I don't want to," she returned quietly. "Not yet."
Her hands, where they rested on the light stubble of his hard jaw, pulled his mouth towards hers. He resisted only briefly before his full lips slanted over hers again, a groan reverberating from his throat. Tentatively, she slid her tongue against his lips and was rewarded when his joined to tangle with hers. The kiss was sweetness itself, it spoke of everything they could never have but everything that was good and right. It spoke of summer days spent exploring together and hours of laughing and sharing thoughts and dreams with each other. They poured themselves into that kiss and allowed it to say all the words that they could not allow between them in the moment. An extravagance of emotion bloomed lavishly between them, taking their breath with its force.
Nate rolled on top of her and Madeline delighted in the weight of his heavy body pressing her into the pallet and the slide of his naked skin against hers. She could feel the hair of his legs rub against her smooth ones and brought her knee up to allow him a closer fit. He was hard and already pressing insistently against her. She wasn't interested in any preliminaries this time, desperate to feel him joined to her. She arched her back and he chuckled against her mouth.
"Greedy little minx," he breathed. "You are all heat and passion, my love."
"Now Nate," she begged. "Come to me."
He was about to comply when the sound of a door banging nearby jolted them both out of the enchantment they were under and reminded them that they weren't alone in the world. Nathaniel leapt from the pallet and was at the door just in time to block it from opening fully. The early dawn light streamed in through the crack that he allowed as he peered out.
