What About Charlie?

by Haley Michelle Howard

  “You’d be paying on that for years. I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “You’re not asking, Charlie. I’m offering. I want to do that for you, if need be. You’ve done so many things for me during my tough times. I want to do the same for you.”

  Charlie smiled, feeling blessed and fortunate to have a friend like Amy.

  “What did you bring in the bags?”

  Amy picked one up out of the chair next to her and started emptying the contents. “A toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, makeup, perfume, tampons and maxi-pads…” She paused and looked at Charlie. “I didn’t know if it was your time of the month. From what I recall it’s usually around this time.”

  “I should start next week.”

  “Well, we’ll keep these here just in case.”

  Amy picked up the other bag. “I brought you bras and underwear. A couple nightgowns, shirts, sweat pants, socks and your tennis shoes on Evan’s suggestion. I also brought some goodies to eat – chips, cookies, candy. I tried to bring everything you’d need. I didn’t miss anything, did I?”

  “No. It seems like you’ve gotten everything. Thanks for doing that, Amy. It means a lot.”

  Amy patted Charlie’s hand. “Now let me get all this stuff put away and then I’ll get you fixed up.”

  Chapter 14

  Charlie sat in a chair facing the window, looking out over the stark bareness of Forest Park. It was Sunday, and she watched two small children, along with their parents, build snowmen, enjoying the cool, crisp morning.

  Melancholy washed over her. It was difficult to watch. Only two days ago, she’d been walking, looking forward to a bright future. But now it was safe to say her future was uncertain to say the least. Bitterness enveloped her.

  Why did this happen?

  Why did this happen to her?

  The past two days had been pure hell. The pain had been excruciating at times. Alan would only prescribe mild pain pills because stronger pills would have sedated her. As he explained, it was important for her to be up and alert. The first morning after surgery, she received her first physical therapy session. They made her get out of the bed and walk to a chair and sit. Tears had come to her eyes because of the pain. Today, the therapist came in and had her do the same. Now she was in a chair, waiting for the therapist to come back into the room to help her to her bed.

  What am I going to do, she thought with despair. She finally realized what it meant to be truly alone. She could depend on no one to help her, be there for her.

  Of course, she had Amy, who was a lifesaver. But Amy had her own life, her own problems. And there was Evan. He’d been there for her throughout the ordeal so far, but she wasn’t even sure she wanted him here. His presence made things so confusing.

  She signed and looked at the flowers on a table next to her bed. There was a bouquet of daisies from Evan and a bouquet of pink roses from Evan’s parents. Charlie had been shocked when she’d first seen the roses. Why were they sending her flowers? She’d only met his mother very briefly on one occasion and surely they must know she and Evan had terminated their relationship.

  “Ms. Johnson?”

  Charlie looked towards the door. A delivery man was bringing in another vase of mixed flowers and a potted plant in a decorative planter.

  “Do you have any particular place you want me to put these?”

  “Please put them on the table here beside me.”

  After he arranged them on the table and left the room, Charlie plucked a card out of the shiny green leaves of the potted plant. She read the card and smiled. It was from her coworkers. They knew how she liked plants. Carefully replacing the card, she removed the card from the mixed flowers. They were from Adam. Charlie leaned back and sighed. How had Adam found out? On the morning after her accident he had been scheduled to take an early flight to St. Thomas for a photo shoot. Ken from work must have called and told him.

  Why did this have to happen? she thought angrily. Why?

  There was a knock on her hospital door and Charlie looked towards it with a scowl. In came her therapist who was very pretty, short, and blonde. She was the sunniest person Charlie had ever met and Charlie despised her for it. She hated the woman’s voice, her cute, perky figure, and the way she seemed to glide across the room. She was in no mood to deal with someone like her.

  “We need to get you started using a walker today, so I went and got one.”

  Charlie merely stared at the walker. Realization hitting her like a slap in the face. She would have to use of those things to walk? Up until that point she hadn’t realized what having a fractured hip meant. Now the cold reality was there in front of her. It terrified her.

  Oh, God. I won’t ever be able to walk again…

  Panic and a cold chill ran through her. She wanted to be away from this place. If she could have, she would’ve run out of the room – to where she didn’t know. She wanted this all to disappear. She wanted the walker and this woman out of her room. She wanted it all gone. Oh, please let this be a bad dream!

  “Ms. Johnson?”

  Charlie shook her head. “I don’t want it.”

  “Don’t want it?”

  “I don’t want that walker in here and I don’t want you in here either. Just leave. I need to be alone.”

  The woman’s smile slipped. She nodded and left, leaving Charlie feeling very cold and alone.

  ****

  Evan pinched the bridge of his nose. Frustrated, he tossed his pen onto his desk. He couldn’t seem to focus on anything. Charlie dominated his thoughts night and day. He was very worried about her. She had a very long and arduous road to recovery ahead.

  However, what worried him most was her mental attitude. She was no longer the Charlie he had known. Her smiles and laughter, which, at one time had been so natural and frequent were now gone. He wasn’t the only person to notice it. Alan had noticed it too. As far as her recovery was concerned, it was a dangerous trend. The single most important thing a patient should have is a good mental attitude, determination to recover. Charlie lacked that and the consequences scared the life out of him.

  “Evan?”

  He looked up to see Alan peeking his head around his office door.

  “Could I talk to you for a minute?”

  Evan’s stomach dropped. Instinctively, he knew it was about Charlie and it wasn’t good. Alan’s voice had that tone to it.

  “Come in and have a seat.”

  “I’m concerned about Charlie’s recovery,” Alan stated without preamble.

  “I am too.”

  “She won’t work with the therapist. Today she kicked her out of the room. I’ve tried talking to her, but she won’t open up. A staff psychologist went to see her. Charlie even said less to her, basically telling her ‘if she needed her help she’d call, now please leave’.”

  “I had been hoping that her coolness was solely directed at me. What do you think we should do?”

  “You know as well as I she’s going through a natural process that a lot of people go through when coming to terms with this sort of injury. It’s something we should help her work through. I think you should talk to her.”

  “I doubt she’d listen to me.”

  “Evan, despite and because of what has happened between you two, you are about the closest person on earth to her. She can speak freely to you and vice versa. She needs to talk. And I really believe you can help her work through this.”

  ****

  Charlie was in a dark mood when Evan walked into her room, but it immediately brightened when she saw him. She had missed him so much since she’d seen him last; she needed to see a familiar face.

  She gave a small smile, searching his serious eyes. “Hi, Evan.”

  “How have you been doing today, Charlie?” His voice was clipped, seemed to have an edge to it.

  She gave a careless shrug, having the distinct feeling that this was no social call. He had an explicit purpose for coming to see her. �
�I’ve been doing ok.” She looked down at her hands, then back up at him, feeling like a scolded child.

  “Charlie, you haven’t been participating in your therapy sessions.”

  So, this was what his visit was about.

  She stared defiantly at him, refusing to be cowed. He wasn’t her keeper and she certainly wasn’t answerable to him. “I haven’t felt like it.”

  Evan sighed. “Charlie, this is not a matter of whether you feel like it or not. This is about healing, about walking again, about getting back to a normal life. Don’t you want that?”

  “You know what I want, Evan?” she asked angrily. “I want all of this to go away. I want this to never have happened. I want you and Alan and that perky therapist that’s sent in here everyday to stop acting as if everything is all right. Because everything is not all right. I’m lying here in the hospital with a fractured hip, with one leg shorter than the other; I’ve been told I will be out of commission for months, that I’ll need assistance living, doing everyday activities. I can’t work. I won’t be able to pay my bills. I certainly won’t be able to pay for all this since I don’t have any insurance. I’ve got enough to worry about already. So, don’t come in here lecturing me about my therapy and pretend everything is ok.”

  Evan’s eyes turned thunderous. “Do you think we’re jumping up and down with joy that this has happened to you? Do you think we’re deriving great pleasure at seeing you in pain? Well, think again, Charlie. Alan and I care about you, not only as physicians, but as friends. I may not be experiencing the actual physical pain as you are, but I am in pain nonetheless. You’re my first thought when I wake up in the morning and my last thought before I go to sleep at night. I’m worried about you, Charlie. We all are. You’re lying here in this bed wallowing in self-pity, not doing one thing to help yourself. It’s okay to be angry, but get up and do something about it. You’ve had a bad accident, Charlie, but you can recover. And the whole recovery process is up to you. No one else. We will help you anyway we can. But we will not pity you. You’re doing enough of that for all of us.”

  Charlie looked away from him, feeling small and selfish and extremely ashamed. “Evan I…”

  He stared stonily at her, the muscle in his jaw flexing. “No, Charlie. Don’t say any more. Enough has been said already. Just think about what I said.”

  Evan turned on his heel and strode out of the room. Charlie called his name, but he did not answer. Either he had not heard her or he had chosen not to acknowledge her. Charlie had the sinking feeling it was the latter. Suddenly, she felt sickened to her stomach. Tears that she had kept bottled up since her accident streamed down her cheeks. She did nothing to stop them.

  All afternoon she waited for Evan to come back. Every time the door opened she swung her eyes anxiously towards it hoping that it was him. Her wish failed to materialize.

  As each minute ticked by and each hour faded into another, Charlie felt even more dreadful, more ashamed of her behavior. Evan, Alan, even the therapist were trying to help her but in return she’d been hateful and unappreciative of their concern.

  Finally resigned that she wouldn’t be seeing Evan, she turned her gaze to the window to watch the sun set over Forest Park. Perhaps, she thought as she watched shades of red and pink cross the gradually darkening sky, she could make amends tomorrow.

  ***

  “Hi, Charlie.”

  She turned her head and smiled. “Hi, Alan. How are you doing today?”

  He looked at her thoughtfully. “You seem to be in a good mood this afternoon.”

  “Alan, I want you to know I’m sorry for having been so rude the past few days.”

  “It’s understandable. You’ve had a bad accident and don’t know quite how to deal with the aftermath.”

  “It’s still no excuse.” She looked at him anxiously. “Have you seen Evan this afternoon?”

  “Briefly.”

  “Did he tell you we argued?”

  “Not really but I could sense he was upset.”

  “I was not very nice to him, Alan.”

  He touched her arm. “Evan knows you’re going through a difficult time. He has had patients just like you that have gone through the same thing. Usually he takes the barbs and caustic remarks with ease. But it’s a little different with you, Charlie.”

  “How so?”

  “You and he are close. He has a very personal stake in your health and well-being.”

  “What was between us is over,” Charlie said sadly.

  “It’s not. What’s between you two will always be there,” he said looking at her chart. “You know, Charlie, you have been healing very well. You have no infection in your incision. If you start doing your therapy like you should, you could be out of here in a matter of days.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. I want you to walk more. Learn how to use a walker. That is going to be essential in regaining your mobility. It’s imperative. You’re not leaving until you do.”

  “Alan?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll try, Alan. I really will.”

  He smiled. “I know you will.”

  After Alan left, Charlie felt a surge of hope, the first since she’d had her accident, that maybe things would be just fine. Alan seemed optimistic about her recovery, so why shouldn’t she?

  That afternoon Charlie had a slough of visitors. Amy stopped by bringing her the latest news about Rich. Apparently he’d gotten into a fender bender, had no auto insurance on the car he was driving, and was arrested. Amy had to go post bond and bail him out. After Amy left, a couple of Charlie’s co-workers stopped by and visited. By the time they’d left, Charlie was feeling very tired and laid her head back on her pillow, closing her eyes.

  Hearing a faint knock on the door, she said, “Come in.”

  “Charlie?”

  Her eyes flashed open. “Adam!” she exclaimed, giving him a big smile.

  “Charlie, I just got in from St. Thomas. I would’ve been here earlier but I couldn’t get away.”

  “I know, Adam. That’s ok. Did the shoot go ok?”

  “Great as usual. I got in some scuba diving – swam with some sharks. Very exhilarating.

  “What happened, Charlie? Ken called me with the news the day after I got to St. Thomas. He assured me you’d be ok. Will you?”

  Charlie nodded. “It will take time. This is not something I will be able to get over in a week. The recovery is literally months. Months were I can’t work nor live alone.”

  “What are you going to do? Do you have any plans of yet?”

  “No. Not right now. I still have to weigh my options and decide what is best.”

  “You’re welcome to stay at my home. I don’t have any shoots scheduled for the next few months.”

  She smiled. “Adam most of your work comes from phone calls in the middle of the night asking you to be at a location the next few days.”

  “That may be so, but we could find someone to look after you. I don’t have any doubts about that.”

  “Thank you, Adam. I’m so fortunate to have a dear friend like you.”

  After Adam left, promising to visit her again, Charlie thought she really was lucky. She had dear friends, people who would inconvenience their own lives to help her. No, she thought, life wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

  ****

  When Charlie woke the next morning, her optimism had diminished. Her sleeplessness returned last night and she had spent hours lying in her bed thinking – thinking about her future, what would happen to her when she was released from the hospital. She knew full well she was going to need help doing everyday things.

  All this worry weighed heavily on her heart. She wished Evan would come today. She needed to make apologies, to get some of the weight lifted off her shoulders. Perhaps she could think more clearly when that was done. She had to start planning for her future.

  She worked hard that day, cooperating with the therapist, pushing herself. She learned to use the walke
r and even did it without her help. She practiced getting in and out of bed by herself.

  Alan came in that afternoon and praised her efforts.

  “Two more days and you’ll be ready to leave. You’ve made a lot of progress today. You just need a little more practice with the walker and you need to learn how to ascend and descend steps. That’s it.”

  “You make it sound so easy when it’s not.”

  “I’m sorry, Charlie, if I seem to over simplify matters. I just want you to know exactly what you need to do.”

  She smiled. “Thanks, Alan.”

  After Alan left, Charlie continued with her therapy on her own, practicing getting in and out of bed.

  “You’ve come a long way since I last saw you.”

  Charlie whipped her head around at Evan’s voice. Her eyes feasted on him. Only after several seconds did she notice that he was pushing a wheelchair.

  She eyed it curiously. “What do you have planned with that?”

  Evan flashed a smile at her - the smile that had always made her body tingle and taken her breath away.

  “I’ve heard how well you are doing, and for celebration I’m going to take you out to eat.”