The moment the thought entered her mind she knew it was true, by the look on Evan’s face, by the way the woman was looking at him. This was the woman who’d broken Evan’s heart; the woman he’d never fully gotten over. This was Elena.
Charlie had thought her to be many things, but she never imagined her to be a Latin bombshell.
The woman kissed the air above Evan’s cheek, then stepped only a few inches back from him.
“You are looking well, Evan.”
“You are, too,” he said stiffly.
Charlie got the distinct impression he would rather be facing the gates of hell than be here in this situation right now.
Elena’s eyes finally shifted to Charlie, quickly giving her a quick head to toe glance, dismissing her.
“And who do we have here?” Elena asked, giving Evan a feline smile.
The way Elena asked, her voice, made Charlie feel small and insignificant, like Elena thought Charlie was unworthy of Evan’s company.
“This is my wife, Charlie.”
“Charlie, what an odd name for a woman. Isn’t that an old man’s name?”
“And I find it equally odd, Elena, that you weren’t performing tonight. Ah, yes, you were released from the company because your dancing wasn’t up to standards. I’d almost forgotten.”
Evan turned from her and quickly guided Charlie through the rest of the lobby to the entrance door leaving Elena glaring after them.
Charlie glanced anxiously at Evan, wishing he would slow down. This pace was tiring her hip very quickly. The lightness and the closeness they had shared earlier in the evening had disappeared. His jaw was set and his eyes were narrowed from anger.
Charlie wanted to ignore the incident, pretend it never happened. That would be the easiest thing to do. But she couldn’t let it go. It was there between them right now and had to be addressed. Of that she was certain. But what she wasn’t certain of, however, was what to say and how to say it. She felt very confused.
Did he still have feelings for Elena?
Love her?
It broke Charlie’s heart to think Evan could love Elena.
Why couldn’t he love her?
When they got back to the house, both deciding to skip dinner at a restaurant, the lights were burning in the den, but Evan bypassed peeking in the door and saying hello. Instead, they went up the stairs, Evan only a step behind her in case she took a misstep.
Their room when they entered was dark save for a fire that had been lit in the hearth.
Evan turned on a bedside lamp, yanking his tie loose as he did so.
Charlie watched him, her hands cold and clammy, her heart and mind confused. She wished he would say something, give her an indication as to what he was thinking. He’d drawn up in himself. It was a side of Evan she’d rarely seen directed towards her.
“Evan, talk to me.”
“Charlie, there’s nothing to talk about.”
“Yes, there is. Ever since you saw Elena, you haven’t been yourself.”
Evan looked directly at her. “What do you want me to say?”
“Tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me how you feel.”
“I don’t want to talk about this right now. What was between Elena and I is over. That has nothing to do with us.”
“The fact that we’re having this conversation says otherwise. It has everything to do with us when you won’t talk to me, when you shut me out.”
“Charlie, I can’t deal with this right now.”
She searched his eyes, feeling at a loss, feeling helpless, not knowing what to do or how to reach out to him.
“Neither can I, Evan.”
****
The air was cool and crisp, but she wasn’t able to look for her favorite star. The dark skies were filled with clouds and haze making it impossible to see anything save for the glow of the city lit up at night.
She had left Evan in the bedroom, not bothering to tell him where she was going. If he cared enough, he would seek her out.
If was the operative word. What if he realized that he still loved Elena and that he’d made a huge mistake when he married Charlie?
After a moment Charlie discounted the thought. No. He had defended her against Elena’s rude remarks. His actions in that situation said volumes. But what about now? What did it all mean? Where did she stand?
“Charlene, what are you doing out here?”
Charlie whipped around and was surprised to see Evan’s father standing there in the garden. That he disapproved of her was no secret between them. They avoided each other when possible and only spoke pleasantries to each other.
She forced a smile. “Just enjoying the cool air.”
“It’s awfully cold.” He held out his arm to her. “Come with me into the den where it is warm.”
Charlie stared at his outstretched arm for several moments. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to have to make small talk with him. She didn’t want to hear what he had to say. In coming to know Mr. Collier over the past week, Charlie found him to be a very deliberate man, a man who did not do things merely to do them. He always had purpose.
Reluctantly she looped her arm in his and walked with him into his den.
He took her coat and placed her in a chair by the fireplace. After hanging her fur on a nearby coat tree, he poured them each a brandy.
When he handed her the glass, she didn’t refuse, though she rarely drank. She needed something to occupy her during this meeting, something to calm her nerves. Truth be told, Mr. Collier intimidated her. They were from far different worlds – he from wealth and privilege, she a farmer’s daughter. Funny that she never saw Evan and herself that way.
“Evan shouldn’t have allowed you to go outside as you did. Your lips are almost blue and it is starting to ice. You could have slipped and reinjured your hip.
“Mr. Collier,” she replied, irritated, “Evan is not my keeper. I do not ask him for permission to go somewhere and neither does he ask me.”
“Duly noted, Charlene,” he said without the least bit of chagrin.
“You may call me, Charlie,” Mr. Collier. “That’s what my friends and family call me.”
“I have never known a woman named Charlie.”
“Most people haven’t. I was the son my father never had. The best he could do was name me Charlene so he could shorten it to Charlie. That’s what he was going to name me if I had been a boy, after his father.”
“Ah.”
“He was a good man,” she stated, not wanting him to think her father was insensitive and didn’t love her because he called her that. “He was stubborn and set in his ways, but I loved him very much. And he loved me just as much in return. I truly miss him.”
“Did you ever speak to him about person matters, Charlie?”
Why does he want to know that? For a slit second she contemplated not answering the question. The conversation was getting too personal. But this was her father-in-law. She wanted to have a good relationship with him. Perhaps this was the first step.
“Not in great detail. Somehow, I don’t think he would have understood. Had my mother been alive, I believe I would have confided in her. Daughters talk to mothers, sons to fathers. That’s the way it is.”
“For some perhaps. Evan and I have been at odds with each other, and because of that, we don’t share too many things between us.”
“Evan is a very private person.”
“As I. Perhaps that is why we don’t talk to each other, hmm? I have always tried to refrain from interfering in my son’s lives. I make suggestions – probably sound more like demands to them. I hope they follow my suggestions, but more often than not, they don’t. I respect that and I don’t interfere with their decisions.”
Charlie nodded, but said nothing, feeling somewhat uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. It was far too personal.
“I heard that you ran into Elena tonight.”
“How did you hear that?”
“Let’s just say I
have some well-placed sources.”
She eyed him dubiously. Where was this going? “We did, Mr. Collier.”
“Evan was upset.”
“Yes.”
He poured them each more brandy and again sat across from her. “Elena was one of those few times that I did interfere in Evan’s life. She was an aspiring ballerina, and in my opinion, mediocre at best. She was cold and cunning though no one else saw that at the time. She was not suited for my son. Nor did I have any desire for her to be my daughter-in-law. To be precise, that’s exactly where it was all headed. When she looked at Evan, she saw money and a life of leisure. She did not see Evan for himself – a strong, sensitive man with a heart.
I made the decision to interfere. So, I decided to cut Evan off financially when he finished medical school. He was led to believe it was done because he wouldn’t do his residency where I wanted him to. In fact, I did it because of Elena. I saw through her. I knew her motives and, in turn, she knew I knew. When I cut Evan off, she came to me as I suspected she might do. She asked for money. If I paid her, she would remove herself from Evan’s life. Of course, I had no intention of paying her anything. I did, however, do the one thing she hadn’t counted on. I told Evan.”
“How could you do that?” Charlie asked incredulously.
“Because he needed to be told the truth. He needed to see there was no true love between them so he could get on with his life. If I hadn’t done so, he would still be grieving the loss of her, believing her to be something she wasn’t. I sound like a horrible man for doing that, but it needed to be done. I wanted and still want Evan to be happy. With her, he wouldn’t have been.
“Now that brings me to you.”
“Me?”
“I like you, Charlie. You’re a genuine person and your love for Evan shows. To be truthful, I was very wary when I learned of your presence, especially when Evan announced he was marrying you so soon after your accident. I wondered about your motives, worried that Evan was making a mistake. But I’m gratified to know that I was the one who was wrong. Evan has made a good choice and it makes me proud as a father that he did.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Charlie asked, feeling extremely guilty because she had married Evan for his money just like Elena had been prepared to do. She was just as bad as Elena. It was hard to admit.
She suddenly wanted to be free on this charade, free of the deception and lies. She was an honest person and her marriage to Evan was not honest.
“Mr. Collier, Evan and I did not marry for love. Evan married me because I had no place to go, no means to support myself during my recovery. With that said, I do love him. Very much, in fact. But he does not love me.
“I’m an honest person, Mr. Collier. I don’t want your respect and admiration when I haven’t done anything to earn it.”
“I know about your marriage to Evan. I know why you two married. I also know that you love him, Charlie. You are not a deceiver or a fraud. Your telling me the truth tells me that.
“From what I see, and I’m a very observant man, you do love him but you don’t know him though you’ve been friends for many years. Evan is very deep, very contemplative. He has many layers.
“But I can also tell things between you are not good. I barely see you together; you don’t hold hands. You don’t act like a newlywed couple, a couple in love.”
Charlie stood and stared into the fireplace, turning her back to him. She wouldn’t let him see her cry.
“He loves you, you know.”
The comment caught Charlie by surprise. She slowly turned and searched her father-in-law’s face. He looked so serious and sounded so sincere.
“I don’t know for sure.”
“He does, Charlie. Evan’s a private man. He’s reluctant to share his heart. He holds marriage sacred and wouldn’t have married you unless he loved you. Tell him you love him, Charlie. Share your heart with him and he will share his with you. That will make all the difference in the world.”
Evan stood in the shadows of the dark hallway, his back against the staircase. He’d come down searching for Charlie. But when he heard voices in his father’s study, he decided not to go out into the garden as the study had glass doors that opened out into it. Facing his father was something he was not up to. Before he could start up the stairs, he’d heard the door knob to the den rattle. Quickly, he had stepped into the shadows.
That’s where he found himself now, feeling something like a little kid. The door opened and a rush of light assailed his eyes. After blinking rapidly several times, he saw Charlie very quickly exit the room, closing the door behind her before hurrying as fast as her hip would allow up the stairs.
What had she been doing in his father’s study? It was hard to believe she had been in there voluntarily. Though she hadn’t said anything to him, he suspected she was more than a little intimidated by him. Evan knew how she felt. At times, he still felt intimidated by his father. He had heard his father’s voice. She had been in there with him. What had he said to her to make her rush away like that?
Evan stepped out of the shadows and entered the study, closing the door behind him.
Sutton looked up. He was not at all surprised to see his son standing before him.
“Good evening, Evan.”
“Charlie was just in here.”
“She was.”
“Is there anything wrong?”
“What do you think?”
“Damn it!” Evan suddenly exploded. “Give me a straight answer. Is there anything wrong with Charlie?”
“Of course there is.”
Evan felt his chest tighten with anxiety. “What?”
“She’s hopelessly in love with you, and she doesn’t think you love her in return.”
“What?” he asked dumbfounded, expecting to hear that she was ill, was homesick, nothing like this. “In love with me?” he repeated.
“Yes. Is that so difficult to believe?”
“Father, I don’t want to discuss this.”
“That is precisely why I found the poor girl in the garden nearly frozen half to death and in tears.”
“I can handle my own affairs.”
Evan moved to leave.
“I told her about Elena.”
Evan stopped in mid-stride and turned towards his father, his eyes as hard as flint.
“You told her?”
“I did.”
“You had no right.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Perhaps I didn’t but she needed to be told.”
“No she didn’t. The past is the past. It should stay there.”
“It may be, but what we experience in the past affects us today. You are still affected and that affects Charlie.”
“I would appreciate it if you would mind your own business. You’ve done enough meddling in my affairs for a lifetime.”
Sutton sighed. “I’m not good in these type of situations, and I’m sorry. All I know to do is barrel ahead and start arranging things without regard for anyone else.”
Evan shook his head. “Hell, dad, I’m the same way. I suppose that’s why the situation with Charlie is so screwed up.”
“I love you, Evan. I am sorry I haven’t said that in such a long time. Son, I merely want you to be happy. Charlie’s a wonderful young woman. She loves you very much. Allow yourself to love her. It would be very easy to do. Seize the day, Evan. Be happy!”
Evan turned from his father and strode from the room heading for the sanctuary of the garden.
Chapter 21
Charlie wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. She did one last leg lift then let her leg flop to the floor in exhaustion. Lying there she took deep, heaving breaths, letting her muscles finally relax. Though she hated doing these exercises, she still persisted in the hopes that her hip would improve, that she would one day again walk normally.
But her little voice inside her told her her hip would get no better. In fact, she’d spent long hours research
ing hip fractures on the internet, reading medical journals and research regarding hip fractures. What she’d learned had confirmed her suspicions. It was time to face reality, no matter how painful. Her hip was about as good as it was going to get; it was healed and would get no better.
Intellectually, it had been staring her in the face for a long time. But only within the last few days had she come to accept it as truth. She was still doing her exercises, but was no longer spending hours each day doing them. Now it was only thirty minutes – just enough to keep her hip strong and flexible.
With that realization, Charlie felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was finally accepting herself for who she was. It felt good. It was a relief. Only now had she realized how much precious time she had wasted obsessing about her hip. It had done her no good but make her miserable from worry and fear, taking her focus away from what truly mattered: her happiness and the happiness of those around her. Looking back over the past several months, she felt ashamed at the extent of her self-absorption and dependence upon Evan.
She had become so caught up in herself that she hadn’t noticed how unhappy Evan had become until now. She’d just noticed this morning the dark circles under his eyes, the same eyes that had once sparkled were now dull. He wouldn’t look at her or speak to her unless he had to. He was rarely ever home. He did his thing; she did hers. Their marriage, if one could call it that, was in a shambles. The Boston trip had only succeeded in exposing new issues for them to overcome. She’d tried to talk to him about Elena, to really gauge his feelings for her, but he resisted, becoming angry with her for bringing it up. So it ended at a stalemate, a simmering anger between them that seemed to grow a little more each day, bringing them to the point where they were now - separate lives.
What About Charlie? Page 24
