Flawed

by Pauline C. Harris

  I could hear shouts and footsteps behind us, and I realized I had no idea where this hallway ended or led to. I had never spent much time in this section of the Institution. Androids were rarely allowed here.

  “End of the hallway, turn right. Then there’s a window,” Yvonne told us, as if reading my mind. I nodded gratefully, and she took the lead. Halfway there, though, I knew we weren’t going to make it. The androids were gaining, and we were falling behind. I could almost feel them breathing on my neck, reaching out to grab me. I heard a yell as Cassandra’s arm was grasped, and she was yanked to a halt. I stopped and turned, ready to fight, but suddenly I heard a gunshot and the android holding Cassandra let go to tend to the bullet now embedded in his foot. I raised my gun and pointed it at them, freezing them to their spots. There were only five androids, not a lot, and they didn’t have weapons. Beatrix, Cassandra, Cameron, and Yvonne shuffled behind me, and I could see the window out of the corner of my eyes. I opened my mouth to explain instructions, but something made my words collapse and die on the tip of my tongue. My mouth dropped open as I looked to see a mass of androids at the end of the hallway swarming our way. They would catch us. There was no way for us to get away; not with that many androids. But suddenly a thought flew to my mind. The memory of the androids at the parking lot. My mind was racing, my heart hammering, and thoughts were swarming through my brain, but only one made sense. I turned to the others. “Go!” I yelled. Cassandra opened her mouth in shock and shook her head. I pointed to the window, my gun still raised at the androids. “You said I’m in charge, and I’m telling you to go,” I screamed at them, willing them to turn and leave me. They all hesitated, but only for a split second before Cameron, Cassandra, and Beatrix were sprinting down the hallway. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the androids getting closer. I stared Yvonne in the eyes as if daring her to question me. “You, too, Yvonne.” My voice was low and cold. “Go.” She took one last look at me with her dark, beautiful eyes, and then she was gone.

  I faced the androids coming my way and backed up toward the wall. They joined the original five and then stopped. It seemed as if I should have felt something; relief, surprise, confusion? But I didn’t. I knew they would leave the others. I knew they would want me first.

  Just like they had in the parking lot.

  Although, I didn’t know why.

  The androids stared at me; at least fifteen of them, the various shades of eyes, all seeming blank and colorless.

  But just then I saw someone at the edge of the crowd—long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Eerily blue eyes. She caught my gaze and held it for a few seconds. Suddenly I recognized her as the woman I’d met outside the hotel, though by now it seemed like such a long time ago. And now that I fell deeper into her blue-eyed gaze, I realized she had been the one to drop the key in my cell. I opened my mouth in confusion, ready to call out to her, but before I could utter a word, she turned and disappeared around the corner. I took a step forward, nearly forgetting about all the androids surrounding me. For some reason, I couldn’t let her go.

  Suddenly, I saw a creator emerge from the crowd; tall, gray-eyed, and angry. My expression hardened into a glare, and I held my gun more firmly as I stared into Glen’s eyes, the woman forgotten.

  “Drew,” he said. He had said my name before like this. Not a greeting, not a question. Just a statement. He shook his head as if feeling sorry about something.

  I pointed the gun at his head. He stared back at me evenly. “You thought you could get away with it,” he said quietly.

  Anger boiled up inside of me.

  “You should have known you never could beat us.” His tone wasn’t mocking or angry, just monotone.

  I stood still, my gun pointed at him, watching.

  Glen stood there for a moment, as if thinking out his next move. He turned to face the crowd of androids. “Leave,” he ordered. “I want to talk with Drew.” His voice was commanding yet relaxed. Immediately the androids turned and filed away; all except two, who stayed fixed by Glen’s side.

  I noticed none of them had guns, and I prayed he hadn’t sent anyone to get some. But then I realized how silly that prayer was. Glen was just playing with me. I wouldn’t get out of here. I had known that when I had told the others to leave.

  “The tape never played,” Glen said, his eyes dancing with delight. “Your plan was obvious, really,” he said with a laugh. A laugh that was high-pitched and made my skin crawl.

  “Why do you want to talk with me?” I heard myself saying. My voice was much more timid and afraid than I had intended it to be, but I fixed that with a harsh stare.

  Glen shrugged, as if it were unimportant. “You know what we’re going to do with you, don’t you?” he asked.

  I narrowed my eyes. Stop playing with me! I wanted to scream.

  Glen shook his head. “It’s actually very sad,” he said, his expression one of mock concern. “I wish we didn’t have to do this, but you know Drew, you did choose this for yourself.” His words were playful and so were his eyes.

  Suddenly, my anger seemed to well up so high I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Chose what?” I nearly screamed, suddenly too aware of the gun in my hands, which was itching to be shot. “I chose nothing! I never wanted to be like this.”

  Glen’s expression morphed into one of understanding. He smiled slightly. “You’re right. You didn’t choose to become perfect. I chose that for you.” His tone was mocking.

  “I’m not perfect,” I spat, tears starting to well up in my eyes. Angry and surprised, I furiously blinked them away.

  “Oh, but you are, Drew. Do you think I’d risk you if I wasn’t sure?” Glen’s voice was almost normal now. Almost kind, almost human.

  I turned my head and stared at him in confusion. My eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What do you mean?” I asked slowly. I watched carefully at the way his eyes widened slightly and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

  “You mean you haven’t figured it out by now?” he asked, his voice threatening to break into a laugh.

  I glowered at him. “What?” I spat, my teeth clenched.

  Glen’s face became serious again, and he looked at me for such a long moment I thought that maybe he had forgotten what he was about to say. “That you were the first, Drew,” he said evenly. His lips spread into a smile. “My first success.”

  I stood there, silent, unmoving, staring at him. “The first android?” I repeated. “I was the first android?” My voice sounded hollow as it echoed throughout the corridor.

  Glen nodded, his eyes shining.

  My heart was beating faster. Thousands of thoughts swirled through my mind. If I was the first, did that change anything? “I was still human, though?” I heard myself blurt out. “I’m not a complete machine?” I couldn’t help but detect the hint of desperation lining my voice.

  “No, you’re not a complete machine. You were human once. Just as human as I was.” He stared intently into my eyes, his gaze pinning me to the wall.

  My mind was whirling. “Then how come I don’t remember anything from before I was an android?” I couldn’t help but ask. I needed to know. I didn’t care of if I was going to die today, I needed to know. “You know how the flaweds’ minds work. They remember.”

  Glen’s smile widened, and he suppressed a laugh. He held out his hands in an explaining gesture. “But you do, Drew,” he said quietly. “All those years growing up with Yvonne, don’t you remember that?”

  I frowned, opening my mouth, but pausing before replying. “But, I was an android.” My voice was defensive and disbelieving. All those years, all those memories – they couldn’t be real.

  Glen closed his eyes and shook his head, shifted his feet, and then turned back to me. “You weren’t perfected until you were fifteen,” he said frankly. “You can’t perfect a child. They’re still growing. It wouldn’t work.” He talked as if he were explaining his profession to anyone. The way I had heard him talk countless times.

&nbs
p; I stared at him, completely confused and dumbfounded. He had waited until I was fifteen before he perfected me. “Then why was I...” Pieces began to fit together in my mind.

  Glen’s smile didn’t falter. He just watched me with his cold, gray eyes, telling me something his words couldn’t quite do justice. Telling me something only Glen could tell.

  My mouth dropped open, and the gun fell to my side. I wanted to look away. I didn’t want to stare into the face of a man I hated even more than I already had, but somehow I couldn’t tear my gaze away.

  “People thought you were crazy,” I started to say quietly, remembering all the things the creators had drilled me on; about how special we were, about how nobody had thought we could make it, but we had. “You wanted to test your idea.” My voice was wavering, and fear gripped my chest.

  Glen was expressionless.

  “So you tested it on your daughter.” My voice was a whisper, a thought, a reality. I stared into Glen’s eyes, and we stood there, motionless, for what seemed like decades, but it was only a few minutes. I remembered all the times as a little girl when Glen had told me how special I was, how I was an android built for amazing things, but he never once mentioned that I was his daughter. He must have always known what he would do with me.

  “And it worked,” Glen’s voice reached out to me, full of pride and satisfaction. A sick satisfaction, one filled with evil and power.

  Anger welled up inside of me, and I wanted to scream. “Then why did you shut me off?” I asked, my voice rising. There were so many things I wanted to scream at him, but I forced myself to stay calm.

  Glen bit his lip as if deciding what to tell me. “We didn’t,” he said calmly. “Your body went into shock during the operation.”

  My legs suddenly felt wobbly, and my head was starting to spin.

  Glen rubbed his hand against his head and went on. “On top of that, some idiot let your oxygen supply run low, and you fell into a coma.” He was watching me closely now, as if wondering how well this was going over. “But you eventually came out,” he added. “And we used that story to cover it up.”

  “And what about Yvonne? Did you mess up on her, too?” My voice was accusatory, and I glared at him, my words dripping with malice.

  Glen shook his head, ignoring my stare. “She was the second, and also the daughter of a fellow colleague, but no, everything went well for her.”

  I stood there, staring at him for a moment, wondering how a man so evil, so selfish, so inhumane, could be my father.

  “And what about my mom?” I finally asked. “Was she just as sick as you?”

  Glen’s eyes flashed angrily, but he quickly regained his composure. “She agreed with me at first, and although she’s since had her doubts, I’ve convinced her of the right choice.”

  I stared at him for a long moment. “Convinced her?” I echo.

  He nodded, his expression hardening, and I knew that although I could see in his eyes that he must have threatened her, forced her to agree, he wasn’t going to say it out loud. “She agrees with me now,” he said slowly.

  “She’s here,” I said quietly. Glen nodded, and I felt anger burning up inside of me. Anger that I’d wished for a family all my life, only to find that they were right here all along. Only this family was twisted and cruel.

  “Instead of sacrificing your life, you sacrificed mine,” I said quietly, although fire burned in my eyes.

  Glen’s smile dropped from his face. “I made you perfect.” His voice hardened. “I made you what you are.”

  “Stop calling me that!” I screamed at him, tears dripping down my face, although from what I wasn’t even sure. Something inside of me snapped, and I felt my hands clench at my sides. “Don’t you see what you did to me?” The gun seemed unsteady in my hands, ready to go off at any minute, and for a second, I didn’t trust myself with it. “I spent my whole life trying to be perfect like you said I was, when deep down I knew I wasn’t! I thought there was something wrong with me.” A laugh came out of my throat; dry and almost like a sob. My body started shaking. “I never thought I was good enough. I was never good enough for you. I was trying to live up to something I could never be!”

  Glen took a step toward me, but I raised the gun and glared at him. “Why would you do this to me?” I ran a hand over my face, wiping the tears away. “Why would you even tell me this? Just to make me feel worse about myself? At least before, I could daydream about the family I’d had. About the family who could have actually loved me. Not the one who turned me into a monster.” I was shaking uncontrollably now, sobs emerging from my throat. I tried to stop. I tried to stop and remain in control. I couldn’t let Glen have this effect on me. But everything was crashing down on me all at once. Everything was crushing me, and all I could think to do was cry.

  “Drew, you should be grateful for what I did for you,” Glen snapped at me.

  I focused on him through the veil of tears, and I felt my face form into a grimace. I held the gun up and pointed it at his head. Shoot, something told me. “Don’t.” My voice was wavering. I cocked the gun.

  Glen remained expressionless. “You were nothing before I made you what you are,” he spat, digging my wound deeper.

  I glared at him through the tears. “I hate you.” My voice was choked by sobs. My fingers shook above the trigger. I stared into his eyes. Shoot.

  Everything hurt. My head ached; my heart ached. I was fighting some unspoken battle. A battle between my desires and my conscience. Tears streamed down my face, and I heard another sob escape my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, and my heart seemed to freeze. I couldn’t kill Glen. I shifted the gun and pointed at his leg.

  I pulled the trigger.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  I forgot about the two androids stationed by Glen. I hadn’t noticed them slowly inching my way during our conversation. I hadn’t noticed until too late how they leaped at me as I pulled the trigger. I felt one of the androids collide into me, and the kick of the pistol sent it flying behind me. I fell to the ground and heard Glen shout out something unintelligible.

  The android sat on top of me, pinning me to the ground, and I looked over to see Glen standing up from where he had fallen. I saw the rip in his pant leg and realized I hadn’t hit him square on, but only grazed his thigh. But by the amount of blood staining his jeans I suspected it had grazed him badly.

  I was pulled roughly to my feet to meet Glen’s menacing stare. “You’re dead,” he spat at me. “You’ve been ready to be replaced for a long time.” He motioned for the androids to follow him, and we all went walking down the hallway. I struggled against the android that was holding me, but that only made his grip tighter, so I stopped.

  Glen led us to a doorway and motioned for the two androids to wait outside. I glared at him suspiciously, but he pulled me inside anyway. The room was dark until Glen switched the bright light on, causing me to blink and shade my eyes.

  When I finally adjusted to the brightness, I looked around to see a room full of tubes and laboratory equipment. I frowned in confusion, and I turned to look at Glen. He was watching me with a sick, delighted smile on his face, an expression I had never seen. It frightened me, and I took a step away from him and toward the tables littered with tools. My eyes glanced at the words written on the labels, and I stopped, my heart ceasing to beat.

  DREW. The labels read in capital, bold letters. I frowned and leaned closer to take another look. DNA samples, photos, and long lists of information covered the tabletops. Suddenly, my mind flashed back to the day in the parking lot where the androids had wanted me and not Beatrix. I turned slowly to look back at Glen, my mouth open to say something, but no words seemed to fit.

  Glen tilted his head and smiled. “Why are you so special?” he asked, as if reading my thoughts, saying the words I was too afraid to say myself.

  I wanted to tell him to stop. To stop bombarding me with more than I had ever wanted to know. I wanted to ask him why he was doing this if he was
just going to kill me anyway, but something inside of me screamed to know the answer.

  “What is this?” My voice was trembling, because deep down, something inside of me was terrified of finding out that I might have come from one of these tubes.

  “Ah, Drew.” His tone was completely different from how it had been a moment ago. It was the tone he had used with me before I had betrayed him. The hardness of his voice was gone and replaced by a proud tone I had rarely heard. I noticed he wasn’t staring into my eyes, but gazing into the distance behind me. I frowned.

  Glen’s eyes suddenly darted back to mine, and his expression changed. “You’re special because you need to be replaced,” he said evenly, his gray eyes as cold as sleet.

  My heart wasn’t beating, my lungs weren’t working, and my limbs had lost their feeling as I slowly turned around to stare into the deep blue eyes of a girl I had known all my life.

  Drew.

  Chapter Thirty

  Drew stared back at me, her eyes expressionless. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything except stare at her. Stare at me.

  “I had such great plans for you Drew,” Glen’s voice called from behind me. “You were to rule the new world alongside me.” I heard him making a ‘tsk’ sound and clicking his tongue. “Too bad you chose to leave all that behind.”

  My breathing had come back, and it was starting to increase in speed. I was almost hyperventilating, and I tried to calm myself down. I stared into Drew’s eyes, but for some reason, I couldn’t quite find what I was looking for. Drew’s eyes were blank, focusing on mine, but still empty and careless.

  What was she? My mind raced back to the day at school when I had spent hours staring into my eyes to find a soul hidden somewhere beneath the blue. I hadn’t seen what I now knew was there because I hadn’t expected it to be there in the first place. But whenever I had looked into someone’s eyes, Jessica’s, Michael’s, even Yvonne’s ... something had always been there. And even now, when I looked at myself, I saw who I was.