A Wolf to Set Him Free

by A J Jarrett

  “That’s my Ethan. Always too modest.” Jensen nudged him in the arm.

  Ethan didn’t say anything. He saw his bag and bent over to grab it before it made a second round on the machine. With his laptop case strapped over his shoulder and Jensen rolling his suitcase out of the building, they made their way to the parking lot. Once safely in the car, Jensen asked the million dollar question.

  “How are you really, Ethan?”

  The sun shined down, warming his face through the window. He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to school his expression. “I’m getting by,” he answered honestly. Because that was what he’d been doing for the past five years, taking one day at a time. The good with the bad.

  “That’s not an answer, Ethan.” Jensen turned sad eyes toward him.

  Ethan looked at the smaller man and couldn’t believe they had become such good friends. After everything he’d done to Jensen and Josh, and they still wanted to be his friend. Not just a friend, but Ethan’s best friends.

  “I know it’s not, but it’s all I’ve got.” Ethan rested his head back against the headrest. Behind his eyelids he could still see Jay’s face and hear his words to move on, but he just couldn’t. Not yet anyway.

  “Don’t get me wrong, Ethan. I’m sure if something were to happen to Josh, I’d be a basket case, too. Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I just said that.” Jensen’s face flushed a deep crimson, causing his red hair to look like flames on top of his head. “I’m so sorry, Ethan.”

  “Jensen.” Ethan chuckled. “Man, it’s okay. I did go a little crazy there for a while and some days I still feel that way. Granted I don’t feel like putting people in cages, but there are days I just want to give up.” Ethan ran a hand over his chest. His heart ached as if someone stabbed a knife through it. It was the pain he lived with every day since Jay’s death.

  The car slowed down and Jensen pulled off onto the shoulder of the road. He turned in his seat to face Ethan.

  “I’m not going to lie and say the way we met is normal, but even after all that crap, you are one of the most important people to me. You were hurting then and still are. You had to deal with the loss of the man you were in love with and were going to marry. No one can blame you for losing your shit and checking out on reality, but don’t you ever say you want to give up.” Tears filled Jensen’s eyes and he swiped a hand over his cheeks. “You can’t do that to us.”

  “Jensen, I didn’t mean it like that.” Ethan leaned over and gave Jensen a hug. “All I’m saying is I’m so tired. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of being mad, and most of all I’m tired of being alone. Jay was the love of my life and a love like that can’t be replaced.”

  “That’s the thing, Ethan.” Jensen grabbed his hand. “No one is asking you to replace Jay. We just want you to be open to letting someone else in. It won’t be the same love, but it might be something to help ease the pain. You can’t keep punishing yourself because you lived and Jay didn’t.”

  “I’m not punishing myself.” Ethan sat back in his seat and stared out the window. Cars passed by without a care in the world.

  “Then what do you call this?” Jensen tugged on Ethan’s earlobe until he turned to look at him. “I didn’t know Jay but I’d have to imagine he wouldn’t want this life for you.”

  “Have you been talking to my mother again?” Ethan narrowed his eyes at Jensen.

  “Maybe just a little bit.” Jensen held his thumb and pointer finger about a half inch apart. “She’s just worried about you, and so am I. I mean, hell, I was the man you drugged and stuck in a cage for a half a day. I’ve seen you at your absolute worst and I still see the good and potential in you. You have so much to give, Ethan. Don’t let yourself just fade away into nothingness. The world would be a lonely place without you.”

  Ethan’s eyes burned as he stared over at Jensen. He’d struck the lottery when he met him and Josh.

  “Do you always have to bring up the cage thing?” Ethan asked, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Well you did put me in a tiny-ass dog cage.” Jensen smiled as he pulled the car back onto the road. “I don’t think I’ll ever let you live that one down.” He winked at Ethan.

  “And you shouldn’t.”

  The rest of the way to Jensen’s house in Silver Creek they talked about safe subjects, nothing too personal. Jensen had read all his books since their meeting and he was eager to hear about what he was working on next. His latest work. Ethan wasn’t sure if he’d ever finish it. The story fell flat and he was losing interest in it. All the words he plugged in yesterday seemed emotionless. He needed a break to hopefully get back his rhythm.

  Jensen turned down a street lined with newer homes. All average sized but looked homey. Ethan liked the look of the neighborhood. It looked like a place a person could raise a family and not have to worry about the boogeymen that lived in the world just outside the safe little bubble everyone thought they lived in.

  “What do ya think?” Jensen asked as he pulled in to the drive of a cottage-style house painted gray with white trim. Two tall white pillars stood beside the front door and a wraparound porch ran the length of the entire front side of the house.

  “It’s beautiful.” Ethan opened his door and climbed out. The air still had a nip in it, but the grass and the trees had already started to turn green.

  “Hey look, it’s shorty and the crazy man!” Josh called out as he stepped out the front door, a huge smile on his face.

  “Such a sensitive man.” Jensen flipped Josh off.

  “You’re fortunate he loves you so much.” Ethan let Josh pull him into a hug.

  “Nah, it’s because I have a big dick he lets me say what I want.” Josh grabbed Ethan’s bag from a stunned-looking Jensen.

  “Once again you are oversharing, Josh.” Ethan laughed as he followed the other man into the house.

  Josh carried Ethan’s bag down the hall to the bedroom on the left. It was a large open space with a queen-size bed and a matching dresser. The windows on the far wall opened up into the backyard. Ethan walked over to look out the windows. It was gorgeous here. The sun flickered off the bright blades of green grass growing. A concrete patio was off to the side with a fire pit in the center and outdoor furniture surrounding it.

  “Hey, Ethan, Josh and I have to go to my sister’s for dinner tonight. It’s a work thing,” Jensen said as Ethan came out of his room and into the kitchen. “It’ll being boring as fuck but you are more than welcome to come along if you want.”

  “How boring?” Ethan asked Josh.

  “Very.” Josh took a drink out of the beer bottle in his hand. “If it weren’t for Jensen, I wouldn’t even be going. Architect talk all night can get a little boring.”

  “Hey!” Jensen tossed the hand towel he was using to dry his hands at Josh.

  “Sorry, babe, but it’s true.” He grabbed Jensen’s hand and pulled him close until they stood chest to chest. Josh bent down to place a hard kiss on Jensen’s lips.

  Ethan couldn’t help but watch. He remembered times like that with Jay. The teasing and light touching made him long for times passed.

  “I think I’ll just hang out here if that’s okay.” Ethan walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. He twisted off the cap and took a drink of the cool liquid, hoping it squelched the sob wanting to tear from his throat. He didn’t like that he was jealous of what Josh and Jensen had.

  “That’s fine. I’ll leave the keys to my truck here in case you want to get out for a little bit,” Josh said. “Explore the town and whatnot.” He winked at Ethan.

  “I think our ideas of exploring are a little different, Josh.”

  “You never know, man.” Josh lightly punched him in the arm. “Might find an irresistible piece of ass out on the town tonight.” He held his beer up at him. “Keep those options open, my boy.”

  Ethan laughed at how different Jensen and Josh were. Jensen was all business and neatly pressed, where Josh was hard around the edges
and said whatever the hell came into his mind. In their case, opposites truly did attract. Josh being a wolf shifter didn’t even really come into play for Jensen. Josh had the ability to turn into a wolf and that didn’t bother Jensen in the least. It was one more thing that made Josh special in his lover’s eyes and Ethan felt that small pang of jealousy peek out its ugly head. He was happy for his friends. He really was.

  About an hour after Josh and Jensen left, Ethan sat on the couch with his feet up, watching TV. The house was too quiet and he felt himself going stir crazy. The walls were closing in on him and he needed to get some fresh air. He hopped off the couch and grabbed Josh’s keys.

  He drove around town, taking in all the sights. Upstate New York was pretty. Unlike the hustle and bustle of the city, Silver Creek was more laid back. A flourish of wooded area surrounded the town but it was still rather large. A college sat at the north end of town, causing a lot of traffic toward the heart of the town. Different types of shops lined the streets and Ethan drove in silence, taking it all in.

  For reasons he couldn’t explain, he pulled into the parking lot of a bar and parked the truck. Ethan wasn’t a big drinker. Really couldn’t be with the medicine he took for his depression, but one drink wasn’t going to kill him.

  Ethan opened the door and got out. His pulsed raced from being in a new place and not knowing anyone, but he could do this. It was just one drink. What could possibly go wrong?

  Chapter Four

  After they returned to the station house, Holden showered and changed. By the time he was done, his shift was over and he and the other guys headed down to Clancy’s bar and grill. It was where they went all the time for drinks. The owner was a retired firefighter who let them be as loud as they wanted, within reason, that was.

  For a Tuesday night, the place was crowded. Apparently it was buck night on all draft beers.

  “First round is on me,” Brian announced to their table. “My good friend made an awesome save today and deserves to be rewarded.”

  An outburst of cheers and congratulations rang out over the table and Holden felt his cheeks flush.

  “To Holden.” Brian held his beer mug up in the air to toast him. “If there is ever a dog needing to be rescued, we know you’ll be there to save the day.” Brian shot him a wink.

  “Asshole,” Holden grumbled, but couldn’t contain his smile. “It was a good day.” He lifted his mug to clang against his fellow firefighters’.

  “True that.” Brian moved to sit beside him at the table. “So what’s the plan tonight?” He looked out over the crowd. “Any guys grabbing your attention?”

  “What?” Holden sputtered as the beer he just drank down rushed out his nose.

  “Don’t give me that.” Brian elbowed him in the side. “Just because I prefer pussy doesn’t mean I can’t help a bro out when he needs to get lucky.” He waggled his eyebrows. “So how does this gaydar thing work?”

  “Brian.” Holden shook his head. “You are one hot mess, you know that?”

  Brian started to go into a longwinded speech on how he supports gay rights when a sizzling smell drifted under Holden’s nose. His ears perked up and he sat a little straighter in his chair. The scent of pine and snow had a bitter edge to it, but not enough to keep Holden’s dick from twitching in his jeans.

  Where is that coming from? Holden propped up to look over the crowd, trying to pinpoint the aroma causing his head to spin.

  “Hey, are you listening to me?” Brian asked.

  “Not really,” Holden said as his gaze flicked over the herd of people milling around drinking beer and eating burgers.

  “Oh, did someone set off your radar?”

  Holden ignored his friend as he got up from his barstool. He tossed a few bucks on the table and started making the rounds.

  Being a wolf shifter, there were a variety of smells that could set off his nose, but never one that made his body come to life. His skin itched with awareness and the dark hairs covering his body stood to attention. Whoever this smell belonged to had to be important. So important Holden felt his heart pounding in his chest, threatening to plop out to land on the floor.

  The bar wasn’t overly large and by the time he reached the front door, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Sitting alone by the front windows was a man. He sat slouched over a small glass of amber-colored liquid, running his finger over the rim. Holden watched as the man picked the glass up, tossed back the contents, and waved for the waitress to bring him another.

  The guy, even though folded up in his chair, looked to be long and slender. His long-sleeve, button-down shirt hid his body shape but Holden recognized a sturdy pair of shoulders when he saw some, and this guy might be on the thin side, but he was built. Holden shifted closer to get a better look. Black hair fell around his face. It looked like the man kept it trimmed in the back but shaggy in the front. The silky strands looked soft as they fell around his ears. Brown eyes fanned by long dark lashes flicked up to scan the crowd before dropping back to stare at his hands. The man looked lonely and lost, and Holden wanted to go and rescue the guy.

  A total of five steps is all it took before Holden stood across from the man on the other side of the small table. With all the noise in the bar, the man hadn’t noticed him yet.

  “Excuse me.” Holden reached out and touched the man’s hand to get his attention. The guy jerked and his eyes went wide for an instant before he schooled his features. “Is this seat taken?”

  “Um, no.” The man sat back and rubbed his hands over his thighs. Holden couldn’t help but notice how the denim hugged the long, lean muscles.

  “Name’s Holden.” He held out his hand. “And you are?” He arched a brow.

  “Ethan.” Ethan reached out and shook his hand, then quickly let go.

  “Nice to meet you, Ethan.” The waitress came around and Holden ordered another beer. “You new in town?”

  Ethan let out a long exhale of breath and the gentle breeze blew over Holden’s face. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment as he took in the sweet scent. His fingers curled in to his thighs and his cock grew painfully hard in his jeans. Holden’s attraction for Ethan was driving him crazy.

  “Yes, just got in today. I’m actually staying with some friends here in Silver Creek.” Ethan smiled and Holden found himself blinded by Ethan’s white, perfectly shaped teeth.

  “Are you planning on staying long?” Holden had to ask. It seemed important that Ethan never leave.

  “Not sure.” Ethan rested an elbow on the table, then put his head in his hand. “I needed a change of pace from where I was living and they had been bugging me to come out to visit, so I thought the timing was right.”

  “Needed a break?” Holden asked, doing his best to dig for information on this guy without coming off all stalkerish. “From what, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “Just life, I guess.” Ethan sat back in his chair. “I’m a writer and I get caught up in my own head at times. Nothing major.”

  “An author?” Holden tilted his head to the side. “What’s some of the stuff you’ve written? Maybe I’ve read it.”

  “I highly doubt it.” Ethan chuckled and Holden found himself leaning further over the table. The sound so light and wispy he needed to hear it again. “My target audience is typically women. I write paranormal romances. The bad boys our mothers warned us about saving the damsels in distress. Stuff like that.”

  Bad boys our mothers warned us about! Totally gay. Holden wanted to pump his fist in the air.

  “Hey, man, I’m a sensitive guy. I’m all about letting a hot guy rescue me,” Holden said with a smile that had Ethan laughing out loud.

  “I can tell you ooze sensitivity.” Ethan picked up his glass and took another drink, his eyes searching over Holden’s. Holden kept his smile easy and his eyes from roaming up and down Ethan’s body in a predatory way.

  “I’m not sure about sensitivity, but I can ooze other things.” Holden lowered his voice and lick
ed his tongue over his lips. He might be laying it on thick but he couldn’t control it. The wolf inside him wanted to come out to play with the hot guy sitting across from him. He sniffed the air and Ethan’s cologne caused his nostrils to flare, taking in more of the enticing aroma.

  Ethan cocked an eyebrow at him. He then lifted his glass and finished his drink in one swallow. “I say we see what exactly that is. Don’t you think?”

  Before Holden could respond, Ethan tossed a twenty on the table and headed for the door. Holden looked toward Ethan’s retreating back, then over to his friends. They were hooting and hollering it up in the far corner by the pool tables and Holden knew they’d never miss him. He jumped off his chair and rushed after Ethan.

  He pushed open the door and was met by a cool breeze. Holden stepped out and saw Ethan walking to the back of the parking lot. The overhead lights were dim but Holden didn’t need much to see. Ethan walked silently toward a large pickup truck that look slightly familiar to Holden, but he couldn’t imagine why, and now wasn’t the time to comment on the familiarity of a person’s truck.

  “So, Holden, do you do this a lot?” Ethan asked as he leaned back against the side panel of the truck.

  “Do what?” He walked up to Ethan and stopped when only a few inches separated them.

  “Follow strangers out into the parking lot, hoping to seduce them.”

  “Oh yeah.” Holden braced a hand on either side of Ethan’s shoulders, caging him in. “Here I thought you were seducing me.”

  “Maybe it’s a little bit of seducing on both our parts,” Ethan whispered, and tipped his head up, lightly brushing his lips over Holden’s.

  “Maybe.” Holden eased closer pressing his chest into Ethan’s. “But either way, it doesn’t really matter now, does it?” Ethan slowly shook his head and Holden let his eyes gaze into Ethan’s dark ones for a brief moment before he dipped his head forward to capture his lips.

  Ethan’s arms wound around Holden’s neck, pulling him closer as his tongue demanded entrance into his mouth. Holden wrapped his arms around Ethan’s waist and brought their hips together. He gasped for breath at the feel of Ethan’s hard, pulsing rod aligned with his own. As he sucked in air, Ethan took advantage of the opening and licked and nipped at his mouth.