by A. E. Murphy
“This is Lucas,” Loryn finishes her introduction. “He’s my…”
“Boyfriend, I’m her boyfriend,” I snap, why the fuck did I say that?
“He is not my boyfriend.”
“Yes I am.”
“No you’re not,” everyone seems to fall into an even more uncomfortable silence than before. If that’s even possible.
“Fine then,” I look at the men. “We’re just fucking.”
Marie face palms, Maya starts laughing against James who is pretending to look at something in the other direction and Loryn pulls away from me.
“That’s it,” she snaps and prods me in the chest. “I’m leaving.”
“What did I do now?”
“What is this? Acting… like a damn caveman. It’s embarrassing, and to… to blurt out my private life like that. Treating me like I belong to you.”
I give her a flirtatious grin, “Well you do. I don’t share Loryn.”
She throws her hands up, “Don’t follow me.”
“I’ll see you out,” male number one states and glares at me even more. What the fuck did I do?
“I don’t think so,” I say but James puts his hand on my shoulder. Marie steps forward, “I’ll take her. I’m the DD tonight.” I thank her with my eyes and watch her lead an extremely pissed off Loryn away.
“That went well,” Maya says in a singsong voice. The two guys who were with male number one also fuck off thank god. “Maybe you should go after her.”
“That was pretty shit of you Lucas,” Summer says and pats me on the cheek. “Let her cool down.”
James pulls Maya to him and kisses her temple, “I’d go after Maya.” Because you’re pussy whipped. Fuck that. All I did was… okay, so maybe I claimed her like a damn caveman but I have every right.
“I’m leaving,” I say because I’m really not enjoying this night anymore.
“Where?”
“Home.” And home I go after saying my goodbyes.
Marie: She’s home, she’s safe. She’s pissed.
Lucas: She’ll get over it.
Marie: Are you coming?
Lucas: Nope. Already in bed. Thanks for sorting her.
Marie: Now you’re being an ass.
Lucas: Goodnight Marie.
I try and get in touch with Dana repeatedly over the next few days, I get zero response. Amelia got her certificate in class on Monday, which was awesome, Sylvia came with me. We were both very proud. Not much has happened. I haven’t called Loryn and unfortunately she hasn’t called me. I mean… fortunately she hasn’t called me. We’re clearly not each other’s type. If you’re wondering how I came to this conclusion it’s pretty obvious. For a start, I should be able to kiss my girl whenever I want, whether it’s out of jealousy, to claim her or just because I fucking want to.
Apparently I’m the bad guy and acted all cave man. Whatever.
Yet every single time I think of her my dick twitches. Especially when Maya and Marie have brought her up, apparently work starts on the store in a few days. So they’re constantly meeting and chatting and telling me about it. Apparently Loryn asked about me, this gave me a real surge of male pride. I must be memorable.
It’s not until Saturday, exactly seven days since our fall out that I finally get a message.
Loryn: OK, I get the message. You don't want to be with me anymore but I hope we can remain friends as I'll probably be seeing more of you due to my partnership with Marie.
What do I say to that? Just agree Lucas! That’s the plan right? That’s what all of this has been about? Cutting off from her? I don’t even understand the attraction, she’s different to Crystal, like totally different. Damn I miss my wife. But when I’m with Loryn… she’s not in my head, Crystal I mean. She lingers in the background. Not in a bad way… gah. I’m explaining this all fucking wrong. I love Crystal, I’d give anything to have her back but constantly thinking about her isn’t going to help. Loryn helps with that, my attraction for Loryn seems to overtake those thoughts. You know what I mean?
My thumb hovers over the on screen keyboard. Ready to type out a message that I have in my head. Just do it Lucas. All of this over some girl you’ve fucked a few times. You’re losing it Lucas. Come on.
Lucas: I’m here if you need anything.
Send… shit. Why did I put that? Fuck.
I’m hungry. I’m going to eat a damn burger and not think about Loryn. That was a real asshole message to send to her. What the fuck is wrong with me? I could have called, I could have spoken to her face like a man… but then I would have had to see my rejection on her face. That would suck. I hate myself right now.
There is one thing I can say, Loryn, when I had her to focus on, when she was in my arms. Everything felt okay.
Marie: Construction starts on Loryn’s store tomorrow, properly. I thought you might want to oversee it.
Lucas: Maybe.
Marie: Sigh…
Lucas: I’ll be there
I don’t trust those ass holes to do it properly, whoever it is they’ve hired. This has nothing to do with Loryn. She’s a friend to Maya and Marie now, I guess I’ll have to tolerate being around her. I just wish she wasn’t so fucking attractive.
I dropped Amelia off with Summer who would rather babysit than get all dusty apparently. Now I’m out of my car, and pushing open the door to the store. So much for replacing the window. They’ve already taken that out.
I catch sight of Marie stood with Loryn in the corner, five guys rush back and forth, preparing their areas before beginning. Marie moves out of the way, I smile a little when I see Loryn. She’s in coveralls and has a hardhat on her head. The only one in here wearing one. Should I even ask what that’s about?
“Hey,” I say and tap her on her hat. She’s only just noticing me now. “What’s with the hat?”
She shrugs, “Just wanted to wear one.”
Marie hands me a can of soda and rushes over to the men to no doubt bother them whilst they work. Not that they mind.
“How are you?” Loryn asks, she chews on her lower lip.
I shrug and catch a guy out of the corner of my eye, about to take a mallet to the wrong wall. Shit. “I’m good.” Fortunately the guy double checks, shakes his head at himself and goes back to their plans. Good fucking job too.
Click, click.
“Lucas?” Loryn snaps, I look back at her. “I asked what you’re doing here.”
I motion to the mess of a store, “Overseeing this.” I don’t meet her eyes for fear of losing it where my lust is concerned. It’s bad enough being able to see her at all. “I’m gonna get stuck in.”
She startles a little and frowns, “Oh right… yeah. Umm… Me too.”
“Why don’t you go sit down upstairs, it’s going to get messy and dusty. Don’t want you getting sick. Plus there should be someone in soon to plan out the air con.”
Loryn knocks a bit of dust from her jacket and shrugs, “Yeah. Sounds like a good idea.” Her face becomes indifferent. “I’ll be seeing you then.”
I can’t be affecting her that much… can I? Why does her cool indifference make me want to kiss her, claim her? Show her exactly what she’s missing? “I want this done properly and as quickly as possible.” My fingers find hers but she pulls her hand away from my grasp. “Now go. Let me do man stuff.” She doesn’t even smile at my joke before walking away.
By the end of the day, not much gets done but that’s to be expected. Today was mostly the preparation of the actual renovation. Now everyone knows what they’re doing I can let them get on with it, I’ll just pop in every day.
I leave and pick up my daughter. Without saying bye. I really am an asshole.
Maya: Dinner at ours this Thursday.
Lucas: I’ll be there.
One hour later
Loryn: Wow...I don't even get a goodbye? Screw you Lucas
Lucas: I was late to pick up my daughter.
Yep. I’m definitely an asshole.
CHAPT
ER THIRTEEN
The Green Eyed Monster
“Auntie Maya!” Amelia squeals as usual when we enter James and Maya’s home. She runs straight to her aunt and hugs her tight. “Me and daddy went to the park today.”
“You did?” Maya grins and kisses me on the cheek. “Loryn’s here.” What?
And then she’s gone, I guess I’ll see myself in. I head through to the room and sit straight on the sofa by James. Where’s Loryn? I hear her laugh come from the kitchen, great. Just great.
She comes into the room about five minutes later, smiles at me like I’m nothing more than a friend and my head hasn’t been between her legs. What’s worse is she is followed by male number one. My blood is fucking boiling. So… she’s dating already. She catches my eyes before sitting at the end of the sofa. Dickhead sits beside her, effectively creating a barrier between myself and her.
“Hey y’all,” Marie says and walks from the kitchen next. She takes the seat between myself and dickhead. “Hey Lucas. You’ve met Gary right?” Gary? Oh, she means dickhead.
“Yup,” I grumble and snatch a beer from James. He puts a game on. I’m not following it, I’m listening to dickhead reminisce with Loryn. “Is dinner ready yet?” Shit… Amelia… Loryn… Shit.
Amelia comes running through with two drinks in her hand, she gives them to Loryn and Dickhead. “Daddy, Loryn said she’s going to do my hair.”
“That’s great sweetie,” I say softly and pull her onto my lap.
“She’s going to do pretty braids and make me look like a princess,” Amelia grins excitedly. “Aren’t you Loryn?”
“If that’s ok with daddy,” Loryn responds weakly. I shrug, I don’t even look at her. This is stupid. So fucking stupid. “Where’s your other little girl?” The room seems to go silent. Everyone seems to stop breathing. “Bring her along too.”
I nod, “Thanks Loryn.” Fuck.
“I’ll be right back,” she says and stands. I watch her walk to the bathroom and enter. Everyone gets tied up in their conversations. I sulk. Yes, I actually fucking sulk.
“What’s wrong with you?” Maya hisses as I help her set the dinner table. “You’re acting like a dick.”
“Me?” I scoff. “Why’d you invite her?”
“Why not?”
I narrow my eyes, “You could have fucking told me first.” I snatch a plate from her hands and place it on the table. Lowering my voice I add, “You know exactly what you’re doing.”
“Stop being such an idiot,” she whispers back and rolls her eyes. “If you like her so much, enough to have this reaction then don’t you think you are being an idiot? She likes you. You’ve been the asshole not her.”
“It’d be nice to be able to come to a family dinner without being set up.” I snarl back and slam the plate on the table. “Next time tell me if she’s here and I won’t come.”
“What’s the big deal Lucas? Scared she’s going to actually touch your heart?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, she was just sex. That’s it. Nothing more.”
“You’re an ass.” She looks at me in disgust.
“It’s not like she didn’t get anything out of it. She got some great friends and a new store. I’m not the bad guy here.”
Maya laughs angrily and flips me off, “You’re an idiot Lucas. I’ll invite who I want.”
“Well then, maybe next time I’ll invite Paul and not tell you or James.”
“That’s completely different and you know it!” she practically shouts. Why am I arguing with Maya? Christ I’m in a foul mood.
“What’s so different? I was fucking her for fun, you were fucking him for fun. Same thing, mine just didn’t last as long.” I watch Maya’s eyes go wide.
“She’s stood right behind me isn’t she?” I mutter, my body tenses. Maya shakes her head but it’s not aimed at me. I turn slowly and splash.
Red fucking wine hits me straight in the face, no doubt ruining my crisp white shirt. I definitely deserve that. After quickly using my fingers to drag the wine from my eyes I look at Loryn, she looks… hurt. I really don’t like this look on her face. Shit. I am most definitely, one hundred percent, an asshole.
“Come on,” Gary says and puts his arm around her shoulders. “I’m going to take her home.”
Maya nods and leads them to the door. I fucked up. Really fucking badly. Shit, fuck, shit, fuck and shit.
“Well, that was interesting,” Marie says and runs her finger down my cheek before sucking it into her mouth. “Tasty.” With an eye roll I turn away from her. “Come on. Let’s go to yours and have a drink.”
I nod, figuring Maya wouldn’t want me here right now anyway.
“Leave Amelia,” Maya practically spits at me. “Go cheer the fuck up. I really, really don’t like you at the moment.”
That hurts more than it should, Maya has never been angry at me before. “Maya…”
“Save it Lucas,” she snaps and holds her hand up. “Go.”
I turn to James who just shrugs, “I’m thinking chocolates and flowers are in order.”
I’ve succeeded in pissing off almost my entire family. This just sucks. They’re right though. I have been in a foul mood. After five minutes with Amelia I leave her with her aunt and uncle and set off with Marie.
Step one: Get this fucking female out of my mind.
We go straight to mine, Marie automatically pulls out a bottle of Vodka. We drink it straight.
“Do you think it’s sad that my closest friend is a girl?” I ask, effectively breaking the silence.
Marie looks at me curiously, “Who? Maya?” She’s so dense sometimes.
“I’m talking about you.”
“I don’t think that’s bad. We have a mutual understanding, you don’t judge me. I don’t judge anybody. Simples.”
This is true. I sigh, Loryn flitting through my mind, my daughter flitting through my mind.
“You want me to be honest?”
“Not really,” I snort and down my tumbler of Vodka, coughing a little when it burns.
“You’re an idiot and she’s an idiot.” Here we go. “You want her to chase you, she wants you to chase her. You’re jealous as fuck, sexually frustrated and I think you can see a future with her and that’s why you’ve suddenly become pissy. It’s also the reason you don’t want to tell her about Crystal and Annie. Because you feel like if you tell her… you’ll be asking her to replace them. Plus, relationships come with restrictions, marriage, babies… how can you have another kid after what happened to Annie? How can you get remarried after Crystal? So what do you do… rather than let yourself be happy, you run and hope she can convince you to come back.”
I laugh out loud, “That’s such bullshit.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Explain.”
“Loryn isn’t my type, it’s nothing but an extreme sexual attraction. How can anybody get all of that information in their head from just a couple of weeks of knowing a person?”
Marie shrugs, “That’s what happened to James and Maya.” What? “Hasn’t he told you how he and Maya met?” I shake my head. “She was sixteen, he was nineteen. He ignored her completely for three years, he knew she fancied him but knew nothing could come of it. He never thought she’d end up the way she did. She left for Europe and came back a different person.” I make her stop.
“If James wants to tell me he can tell me.”
“Whatever. You should ask him though. It’s horribly romantic.” She starts giggling. “Christ that sounds odd coming from me. Romance… I don’t know the meaning of the word.”
Should I ask? “Why are you the way you… umm… are… with men?”
“Why do I act like a whore?” she looks up at the ceiling in thought. “I enjoy sex. I don’t enjoy sex with the same person more than a few times. I lose that spark, you know the shivers you get when someone new touches your skin.” I nod. “After a few times the sparks die and I get bored. This is my way of enjoying mysel
f.” I don’t believe her but I leave it at that.
“So, are you going to call her and apologize?”
“For telling the truth?” I respond.
“You’re really adamant that you don’t like her as more than a good lay?”
I shrug, it’s the truth isn’t it? Just good sex.
She gets a wicked glint in her eye, “Prove it.” What? “If that’s true then prove it.”
“How?” Do I want to know?
“If it’s true, that she’s nothing but sex then you’ll be able to have sex…” pause, her smile deepens. “With me.” Oh hell. “Without any backlash on your feelings.”
I jump up from the floor as if burned, “I can’t sleep with you! Are you crazy? You’re like family or something…”
“Stop being an idiot, I’m female, we’re friends… what is one time going to hurt?” the way she explains it… no… no. Not happening. I’m not sleeping with Marie. That’s just weird. “It’ll be no strings attached. Nobody will ever have to know.”
“Marie,” I say and take a step back. “I don’t think of you like that.”
“I don’t with you either…” she snorts. “Unless you think I’m totally hideous.”
I frown, “You know you’re gorgeous… it’s just weird.”
“You like Loryn,” she chants over and over. Stupid female. “You like…” I grab her shoulders and press my lips against hers. Wow, this is weird. I feel… nothing. Although my dick doesn’t seem to agree, it’s certainly working itself up.
