Never Let me Go (Blurring Lines #2)

by Chloe Walsh

  NEVER LET ME GO

  Published by Chloe Walsh

  Copyright 2015 by Chloe Walsh

  All rights reserved. ©

  The right of Chloe Walsh to be identified as the Author of the work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright and Related Rights Act 2000.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form or binding or cover than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Never Let Me Go

  First published, December 2015

  All rights reserved. ©

  Cover Designer: Kris @ C&K Creations

  Edited by Nouvelle Author Services

  Formatted by Allusion Book Formatting & Publishing

  Disclaimer: This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  The author acknowledges all songs titles, song lyrics, film titles, film characters, trademarked statuses, brands, mentioned in this book are the property of, and belong to, their respective owners.

  Chloe Walsh is in no way affiliated with any of the brands, songs, musicians or artists mentioned in this book.

  When I agreed to write this story I had absolutely no idea of where to start. I didn’t want to write this in the beginning because I had intended Blurring Lines to be a standalone – without a happy ending.

  It was supposed to be a cruel, harsh and ripping story to match the misery of the character’s lives.

  But my faithful and loyal readers came together in the masses, begging for Mackenzie’s happy ending. And after many cups of tea, frantic messages to my clovers, two attempts to quit writing, and one long ass night’s sleep, Never Let me Go was born.

  Guys, this is for you.

  For the dreamers.

  For the believers in a happy ever after.

  To my sister, Julie, who is living proof

  that even though blood makes us relatives,

  it is our loyalty to one another that make us family.

  You were my first friend,

  My first enemy,

  My fiercest protector,

  and my longest love.

  I love you to the moon and back.

  All my love,

  Your half blood prince.

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Epilogue

  Playlist for Never Let Me Go

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Other Books by Chloe Walsh

  Thorn - Carter Kids #2

  I HAD EXPERIENCED many fucked up nights in my lifetime.

  Nights when I’d been shitfaced and had woken up in a pool of my own vomit, feeling more fucking depressed than I’d been before I’d put the bottle to my lips. Nights when I hated every damn person breathing in the vicinity. Nights when I had wanted to die.

  The night she was taken from me...

  Well tonight was a lot like that night…

  Except tonight was worse.

  Because tonight felt like everything and its mother was trying to find a way to tear us apart. First Kenzie’s father almost strangled me to death, and then my mother dropped the killer blow. The annihilator.

  I was dreaming. I had to be. Caught in the worst mother-fucking nightmare of all time, because I swear to god only my worst nightmares could have conjured up tonight’s events. Mackenzie going on a date with that creep Keller. Mitch beating the shit out of me. Mom announcing Emily was pregnant. Jesus, this was too damn much. I was a senior in high school for fuck’s sake.

  Emily’s pregnant. Now you know, Cade – be a man and deal with it.

  Goddammit to hell…

  “You can’t mean that, Mitch – tell me you’re joking…”

  Our parents continued to yell at each other – at me – but I couldn’t hear a damn thing.

  I couldn’t see out of my right eye.

  I couldn’t fucking think straight.

  I had a pain in my chest, but I knew it wasn’t from the blow Mitch had delivered to that area of my body. No, this pain was coming from the inside out. My heart was fucking breaking into pieces and on the outside all I could do was sit on my bedroom floor, frozen to the spot, with my hands hanging loosely around my knees, and drowning in my own regrets. My mind was consumed with the words that had come out of my mother’s mouth just a few short minutes ago.

  “Emily’s pregnant. It’s your baby, Cade. Now you know – be a man, and deal with it.”

  “She’s lying,” I whispered to myself, chest heaving. I’d never been unsafe with her. Never. Dammit, the last time we’d had sex was month’s ago – before Kenzie came home. I had been religiously careful with Emily – the same couldn’t be said for my time with Kenzie. “She has to be.”

  How was I supposed to do that when Mackenzie was my entire life? How did I explain that she gave me a reason to breathe – that when she was taken I’d lost my reason and her return had brought that back?

  She was everything for me.

  Everything.

  I couldn’t give her up again.

  Not for Emily or… or for the baby.

  Now what the hell kind of man did that make me?

  “I don’t want you next to or near my daughter again, Sharon. Not after how you spoke to her.”

  “I didn’t mean it – Mitch, you can’t be serious…”

  “Go play house with Emily and your grandbaby. My daughter is my priority.”

  My mind furiously tried to date a time in the past few months that I’d been with Emily, and I couldn’t fuck think. Jesus Christ I couldn’t think straight.

  I could hear my heartbeat hammering in my ears.

  My legs were shaking.

  She couldn’t be pregnant. It was fucking impossible. Hell, I would’ve noticed… wouldn’t I?

  I didn’t want it to be true.

  Jesus, please don’t let this be true.

  And then I thought about Emily’s reaction to Kenzie coming home and I guess it made sense. If she knew she was pregnant back then, it made sense for her to behave in such an irrationally jealous manner. But fuck…

  My mother said in a little over five months… Shit, that made Emily what… sixteen weeks? More?

  My heart sank.

  “I trusted you, Cade,” I heard Mitch snarl, breaking me from my reverie, and I cast a glance in his direction.

  He looked as broken as I felt.

  “I trusted you,” he repeated, voice haggard. “And you abused that trust – you abused her…”

  “How?” I demanded, suddenly furious at being told I somehow abused Mackenzie b
y loving her and giving into her every fucking need. Jerking to my feet, I wiped the blood that was trickling from my mouth away with the back of my hand and glared down at where my stepfather and my mother were siting on the floor.

  “How the hell can you say that with a straight face,” I roared. “I LOVE her. I’ve been LOVING her my entire fucking life and you know that.”

  “How the hell can I think any differently, Cade?” Mitch replied in a furious tone of voice. His voice grew louder with every word he spoke. “You took her to bed. My daughter,” he spat. “Mackenzie doesn’t understand a damn thing about a man’s intentions – how could she, after what those bastards did to her – but she trusts you. And you took her trust and used it for your own selfish needs.”

  The blood drained from my face. “Is that what you think?” I spluttered feeling physically wounded. “You think I’m like those men?”

  “No, I don’t think you’re like those men,” he snarled. “I think you’re worse.”

  ‘That’s not fair,” I choked out. “I tried to stop. I fucking didn’t mean to…”

  “Oh shut up, Cade,” my mother screamed, interrupting the both of us. “This isn’t doing any good. We need to be discussing what you’re going to do about Emily. You need to call her – make things right.”

  My mother climbed to her feet and I glared at her. “I’m not going to do anything about Emily,” I roared into her face. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t think straight and my mother putting pressure on me was something I couldn’t handle right now. “So just stop fucking pushing it.”

  “She’s having your baby!”

  “I don’t care.” I was going to hell. I was a bad fucking man, but I couldn’t lie to myself a minute longer. “How are we even sure it’s mine?” I was clutching at straws, but I was desperate – to get myself out of a life that I was being sucked into…tied down to. Shaking my head, at a loss, I threw my hands in the air in frustration. “We haven’t been together for months – and I was safe every damn time.”

  That question earned me a slap in the face. “For shame, Cade Mathews,” my mother hissed. “It’s your baby, Cade. Emily is a good girl. She’s not a slut like…”

  “Like Mickey?” Mitch offered in a deathly cold tone of voice.

  My mother paled, having realized what she almost said. “No, Mitch, I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Save it, Sharon. You’ve made your feelings toward my daughter pretty damn clear tonight.” Mitch slowly climbed to his feet and sneered at me. “You’ve already knocked up one of your girlfriends.” Shaking his head in a move of obvious disgust, he spat, “You sure as hell won’t be adding my daughter to that list.”

  The sound of the front door closing distracted me from Mitch and a cold tremor ran down my spine.

  Kenzie…

  “Mackenzie, wait!” I roared, voice torn with pain as I turned to go after her.

  My mother grabbed my arm. “Where are you going?”

  “Where do you think I’m going?” Shaking my head, I shrugged her off. “I’m going after her.”

  “What, no you can’t.” The hand she had clamped down on my forearm tightened. “What about Emily?”

  Breaking free from her my mom’s grasp, I took the stairs two steps at a time. “I don’t care.” Slamming the front door behind me, I ran full speed across the lawn to where Mackenzie was attempting to escape me. I managed to catch hold of her shoulder and stop her from opening the passenger door of the car.

  “Where the hell are you going?” I noticed Anna in the driver’s seat of the car and my shoulders slumped. “No,” I whispered brokenly, my worst nightmare coming true. She was leaving me. “You can’t go…”

  “I can’t stay,” she choked out, green eyes full of tears and heartache. My heart squeezed in my chest. “I should have never come back here.”

  “Don’t do this,” I begged, stroking her cheeks with the backs of my thumbs. “I’ll fix this, Kenz,” I vowed, grabbing the back of my neck, eyes locked on her green ones. “Don’t leave me...”

  “I’ve ruined your life, Cade,” Kenzie cried. “Can’t you see that?” Cupping my face, Mackenzie reached up and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You’re going to do the right thing, and I, for once in my life, am not going to blur the lines for you.”

  “No,” I snarled, with tears in my eyes. “You saved my life … I need you, Kenzie, I need your blurred lines.” All I seemed to have was a dream and world full of people determined to make me fail.

  “Goddammit, don’t leave me now. I’m yours, Kenzie, I am. I swear. Oh, Jesus Christ, baby girl, just stay with me …” I was gone beyond panic. I was in full force terror mode. She couldn’t leave me. Not again. “Please.”

  “And destroy your life some more? Take a child’s father away from them?” Kenzie offered, shaking her head sadly. “I can’t do that, Cade. I won’t do that.”

  With more force than I thought she had in her, Kenzie shoved me backwards before quickly climbing into the passenger seat of Anna’s car.

  The fucking shrink pressed a button that automatically locked all the doors, stopping me from opening the door, although I tried my best to rip the fucking metal clean off its hinges.

  Mackenzie wouldn’t look at me; she just stared straight ahead with tears streaming down her face.

  Without another word, Anna turned the key in the ignition.

  As the car pulled away from the sidewalk, and I watched it go out of sight, I found myself in some sick and twisted déjà vu kind of moment.

  Once again, I was chasing Mackenzie Moore; but this time, unlike when we were fifteen, she wanted to leave me.

  Once again, no matter how fast I ran, or how hard I prayed, I couldn’t catch up to her. I couldn’t save her.

  Once again, I was on my hands and knees crawling after her.

  It was as if my life was on repeat, playing over and over the many ways I could let that girl down. I never deserved Mackenzie. Not when I was fifteen and certainly not now. I didn’t step up when I should have. I didn’t fucking protect her from the bullies at school, and worse, the bully at home.

  Pain like I’ve never felt in my life encompassed me; spearing me, ripping me open. I was losing her and my one though was, ‘this pain is going to kill me. I won’t survive this twice.’

  “Nár lagaí Dia do lámh.”

  The words I had engraved on my ribs flickered through my mind, causing my to steel my resolve, and I got up off the ground and forced my feet to keep moving.

  “May god not weaken your hand”

  I wasn’t letting her go. Not again.

  If I had to run the length and breadth of the state I would catch up to her.

  The sound of the roar of an engine, followed by honking caused me to stop mid-stride.

  Panting and out of breath, I tried to steady my breathing as a black sedan pulled up beside me. The window rolled down.

  “Get in.” Jesus Christ.

  “…DO US ALL A FAVOR and give your doctor a call, and tell her that you’ve decided to go to that school for screwed up little girls, and leave my son alone...”

  I didn’t speak a word the entire drive to Anna’s house.

  I had nothing to say.

  Not when my worst nightmare had come to life.

  My life was ruined and, for the first time in a long time, I wanted out.

  Shivering helplessly, I wrapped my arms around my body and forced myself to stare straight ahead. I knew Anna was glancing at me every couple of minutes. She’d been trying to catch my eye throughout the entire journey.

  I was thankful she had the college degree that had taught her to give me space.

  I didn’t need counseling right now.

  I needed a bottle of vodka and a razor blade.

  Nestling further into my seat, I prayed for the rest of the drive to be a quiet one.

  I was a sinner. Of course I didn’t deserve happiness. I had enjoyed what those men did to me. I had wanted it, but I wished I could
just wash it all away…

  I thought back to the time Cade and I had been Helen and Paris in our school play and a smile broke through my sadness, stretching my tear-stained cheeks, before the aching resumed.

  I wanted to mourn.

  Mourn for the life I had promised myself I would have. The life with Cade that I had forced myself to live for even when I was being gang raped, and fucked like a piece of meat.

  The favorite flavor of the week...

  I had been the favorite flavor for three and a half years.

  It was my turn to be happy. It was supposed to be. He was mine. But she was carrying his child. The unfairness was crippling me and I could barely breathe through the pain.

  No, I wasn’t the child he had fallen in love with. I was a grown woman but I wanted him to love me. To want me and be with me.

  Not her.

  The grief was climbing through my body, going higher and squeezing tighter. I was barely holding it together. I needed some privacy soon because I had a feeling that I was going to snap. Big time.

  “We’re here,” Anna finally announced when we pulled into the driveway of a house on a street that I’d never been on before.

  Unbuckling my seatbelt, I inhaled a steadying breath before climbing out of the car and following Anna up the steps of what I assumed was her porch.

  “I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay, because that’s a shitty question,” she told me as she let us inside.

  Reluctantly, I followed her down a dark hallway until she stopped outside a closed door. With a heavy sigh, Anna pushed the door inwards and gestured me inside before flicking on the light to reveal a spacious bedroom. “I’m only up the hall if you need me.”

  I wouldn’t need her.

  I wouldn’t allow myself to need someone ever again, but I forced a smile and nodded all the same.

  When Anna finally left, I locked the door before taking some slow calming breaths. With my arms wrapped around my stomach, I moved towards the door at the far end of the room.

  I WAS SITTING NEXT TO THE UNLIKELIEST of people as I drove in a panic, desperately chasing the woman who had taken my girl.