Claire started tearing up thinking about Zia. There were so many things she still wanted to say. Skylar looked at Rachel and together they each put a hand over Claire’s hands. Claire was sure she was still in shock. One minute she was okay with Zia leaving and felt comfort in knowing it was in God’s time, and in another minute she felt like she was going to lose it and sob uncontrollably whenever the moment struck. She needed to allow herself to slip into a deep place of mourning when the feeling came over her and be okay with it.
“Honey, whenever you’re ready to talk, or cry or ask questions about anything, just let me know, okay?” Rachel said while she squeezed Claire’s hand.
Claire wasn’t sure why she didn’t gravitate toward Rachel when she was younger because she seemed so cool about everything and so understanding. Maybe the long cigarettes, oftentimes ostentatious outfits and a heavy New York accent were a little much for Claire to understand when she was younger, but now her desire to spend as much time with Rachel as possible made perfect sense. She was real and honest… and an amazing, non-conventional role model. Claire took a bite of her food and smiled. She was feeling as though she was exactly where she was supposed to be.
“I’m happy right now,” Claire said, “I know this week will be rough and I’ll have times when I just want to sob… but I’m so glad everything worked out the way it did and I’m here with you both.”
Rachel raised her martini glass, “I’ll drink to that… and to Zia, may she rest in peace.”
The women sat for a few minutes and ate in silence. Claire saw it as a small moment of reverence for Zia. She knew in her heart of hearts Zia would have wanted her to really live and embrace each moment.
“So,” Skylar asked, breaking the silence, “you’re really moving to New York?”
“I am. I’m going to email and make phone calls to the right people at NYU after Zia’s funeral to see what I need to do to get in for spring. And it’ll be fun for the three of us to live together!” Claire was beaming.
The changes kept coming and she was surprisingly ecstatic.
“You know,” Skylar said, “I have to say, you seem a lot more excited about coming here than I ever heard you talk about moving to Tennessee. I’m happy for you, despite the recent weirdness between us lately.”
“So, Miss Skylar,” Rachel said, “I’m glad you brought it up, this recent weirdness as you say… you might want to thank your sister for getting you out of The Village and away from that young woman for a little while.”
Skylar smiled slightly to hide her embarrassment then put her head down.
She finally looked at Rachel and then at Claire and said, “Thanks, Clairebear, I appreciate you putting everything else aside to look for me, but it’s not that simple. Felicia is so cool and I feel like you’re all judging her. I understand that I shouldn’t have just run off and I have to get my shit together, but now what? I still want to see her.”
Claire folded her arms, rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward. She saw Rachel make a face when she positioned her elbows on either side of her plate, but she paid no attention to decipher it, Skylar needed to see that Claire was serious.
“Why did Felicia leave a note for her mother telling her she wasn’t going to be back upstate for a while—that she was going on an extended trip? And how did you leave your cell phone behind when you left? You’re attached to that thing… it’s just fishy to me that’s all, like Felicia didn’t want us to find you.”
Skylar sighed, “I’m not saying she doesn’t have issues. I don’t know why or if anything she said or did had to do with some secret plan to take me away. But I want you to give her a chance, that’s all. She makes being gay feel so normal.”
That was all Skylar had to say and Claire understood. She still didn’t trust Felicia, but she would let it go for now. Skylar needed to seek out relationships that validated her experiences and budding self-discovery. The best thing Claire could do was to keep an eye on her sister and if things got out of hand, she’d step in.
“Maybe you should talk to Mom and see if you can bring her to Zia’s funeral,” Claire said with as much undetectable hesitation as she could muster.
Skylar’s shoulders relaxed, “Yeah, maybe I should. Although I can’t imagine Mom is too happy with me right now.”
“Well, outside of the obvious disappearing and making your mother worry, you’ve been a little sneaky, Skye,” Rachel chimed in, “I know about your whole school enrollment thing and none of it’s Kosher. You have to be on the up-and-up if you’re going to live with me… you know that. But I agree with your sister, ask your mother if Felicia can come up with us. If she’s helping you discover your… sexuality and your newfound coming out, we have to support you. But I’ll be watching her. I have a vested interest in you.”
Rachel winked and Skylar smiled.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Claire thought it would be best if she went with Skylar over to Felicia’s apartment, just in case she had some ulterior motive for keeping Skylar there. Claire had never been so mistrusting of anyone before, but when she thought about it logically, Felicia couldn’t simply capture Skylar against her will and imprison her. The story she had conjured up in her head about the young woman was beginning to look like a made-for-TV movie. Claire had to give Felicia the benefit of the doubt about her intentions and questionable behavior if she was going to try and make things work. The note she left her mother and Skylar’s cell phone getting left behind were potentially calculated, but Claire was going to put it behind her. She called her mother to let her know that she had suggested Skylar invite Felicia to the funeral.
Sarah balked at first until Claire gave her some perspective.
“Look, Mom, I’ve been down here watching this whole thing go down and I’m telling you Skylar is in a funky place right now. You don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your relationship with her.”
“Jesus, Claire, supporting her bad behavior to keep things calm is what you were pissed off about the other night. Why the one-eighty?”
“I can’t explain it. We think Skye can do anything and come out of it unscathed, but I think her decision to come out is affecting her more than we think it is. We have to be there for her… and honestly, the closer we are to Felicia, the more we can monitor her.”
“Well, that was my thought all along, but now… I’m not so sure.”
“She’s going to call you and ask, I thought I’d give you a head’s up.”
“Can I at least get an apology from them?”
“As long as you don’t care if it’s sincere or not.”
“Ugh, okay, when she calls and asks, I’ll tell her yes.”
“She’s going to be eighteen in a few months. She can do anything then without your blessing, don’t forget.”
“Okay… just get up here as soon as you can, it’s been a long few days and I’ve been worried sick about you both.”
“I’ll see you soon, Mom, I love you.”
Claire hung up the phone and grabbed her purse. Skylar was waiting downstairs by the car when Claire came outside. Ben smiled and helped them in before shutting the door.
“I’m sorry things are weird between us, Skye, but I really don’t know what I can say or do to fix them,” Claire said as Ben drove.
She saw Ben smile before putting the divider up between the front and back of the car.
“Ugh, I know things are weird and I don’t know how to fix them either. I just felt like… I don’t know… like I didn’t care about breaking the rules or listening to you or conforming in any way. I was just feeling like I didn’t care. All that mattered were my feelings for Felicia.”
“Yeah, but if she’s so in love with you, why would she convince you to deceive and defy your parents and encourage you to not like me?”
“I don’t know. She’s just really anti-establishment, I guess.”
“Anti-establishment? It’s not the sixties anymore. Who talks like that?”
S
kylar laughed, “It does sound a little silly, huh? She has just really encouraged me to be honest with who I am… and she was really gentle when we were having sex. It was nice. So different than being with a boy.”
“Well, I’m glad your first experience with a woman was gentle, I really am, Skye, but she seems… I don’t know, angry and a little controlling.”
“Well, she’s opinionated.”
“Can we just put the last couple of weeks behind us? Can we just be close again? I was so mad at you for making everything about you and I’m sorry for not talking to you before blurting everything out to Mom. I want to support you, but I want you to know I’m going to have your back and be honest with you.”
“Well, I’m going to do the same for you, Clairebear.”
Claire smiled and leaned forward to kiss Skylar on the cheek. Ben had just pulled over in front of Felicia’s building.
“I love you, Claire. Thank you for coming to get me.”
“I love you, too, Skye.”
Claire felt like all was right with the world again. She wanted to make the sign of the cross as she got out of the car to show gratitude for her reuniting with Skylar, but instead she looked up at the sky and whispered thank you, to Zia, to God, to whatever amazing omnipotent force was running the show. She put the palms of her hands together and place them in front of her heart—it was the one and only mudra she learned about in class and it made her feel good. By the time she made it up the stairs to Felicia’s apartment Skylar was already inside.
Claire was about to step through the open door when she heard a commotion behind her. She turned around to see Candy juggling two cat carriers into her apartment.
“Hey, Candy, do you want some help?”
“Oh, hey, Claire! That would be awesome!”
Claire took one of the cat carriers and followed Candy into her apartment. Claire stopped in her tracks the second she walked in and looked around. Since she was there last, Candy had constructed a catwalk, for the cats, around her entire apartment. The small walkway started at the windows, went up the walls and headed to the kitchen in one direction and toward the bedroom in the other. The walks were painted in a rainbow of colors and looked like they were carpeted, but Claire would have to touch them first to be sure.
“Holy crap!’ Claire exclaimed.
“What do you think of my ‘cat-walk’?” Candy asked excitedly, “Get it? ‘Cat-walk’?”
Candy used her index fingers to demonstrate single quotes around the words.
Claire laughed. She had never seen anything like it in real life.
“This is amazing. How did you do this so fast?”
“Oh, I know this guy who owed me a couple of favors. He’s been working on it for months and just came and installed it this morning. So I went to the animal shelter and got two new babies to add to my furry family. I thought I’d share the love and the new digs!”
Claire helped Candy take the new cats out of their crates and place them in the window beds. Candy’s other cats, Romeo and Juliet, had already found their way up the ramps and were sitting above the kitchen surveying their territory. Claire couldn’t believe how cool the set-up was. The new cats, Claire found out, were siblings.
“Have you thought of any names?” Claire asked as she watched the cats get familiar with their surroundings.
“Not yet, they’ll tell me what they want me to call them I’m sure.”
“Hm.”
“What? Of course animals communicate with us, Claire. Don’t be so aporetic, it doesn’t suit you.”
“Aporetic, huh? I need a thesaurus to hang out with you, Candy.”
“You know, skeptical, unbelieving… I think if you sat down and thought about it, you would discover that animals are incredibly psychic beings.”
“Well, you mentioned you had a past life in Verona and you named your other two cats Romeo and Juliet because of it, but did they give you the okay for that?”
Candy looked at Claire as though she had three heads, “Of course they’re okay with it, Claire. They were with me in Verona.”
Claire smiled. It didn’t matter whether she believed Candy or not. Anything was possible, Claire thought, and she was going to go with the flow of her new friend in the moment.
“So, you met someone new?”
“What?” Claire asked, unsure of what Candy was talking about.
“You met someone.”
“I haven’t met anyone since I saw you last, Candy….”
“He teaches something, I can see him, in loose clothing. He’s nice. He likes you.”
“Holy shit,” Claire wasn’t thinking about Declan, “yeah, I met this guy, Declan, at my Grandmother’s yoga class.”
“Well, he’s something.”
“I can’t believe you can do that.”
“Do what? I guess I could have told you about him the other day, but I wasn’t getting anything about it… you know, I have no control when the images and words hit me.”
Claire smiled. She liked Candy and had never met anyone like her before.
“Claire?”
Claire turned around as she heard Skylar asking for her.
“I’m in here! Come meet my friend, Candy.”
Skylar stuck her head in the door, “Hi, there.”
“Come on in, ladies, can I fix you some tea?” Candy asked.
Skylar and Felicia walked in and looked around.
“Wow, this is so cool, Felicia, a whole jungle gym for cats,” Skylar said.
Candy smiled, “Could you just shut the door? I don’t want any of my babies to get out. Two of them are new and they could be particularly skittish.”
Skylar shut the door and walked further into the space, “Wow, Candy, this is so cool. I wish we could stay and hang out, but my Grandmother’s driver is waiting for us downstairs.”
“Yeah, sorry, Candy,” Claire said, “we have to head back upstate for my Aunt’s funeral.”
“Yes, Zia Regina,” Candy said, “You told me about her the other night. She really loved you…”
“I really loved her,” Claire said quietly.
“She’s here now, Claire, right behind you.”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but don’t we have to get on the road?” Felicia asked.
Claire turned around and smiled, “You two go ahead without me, I’ll take a cab back in a few minutes.”
“Well, I can get my driver to take you wherever, Claire.”
“Your driver?” Claire, Skylar and Felicia all asked in unison.
“Well, other people have drivers, too,” Candy said.
“I guess that settles it, then, I’ll be just a few minutes behind you. Tell Rachel I’m on my way and we’ll hit the road,” Claire turned to Candy and said, “so, let’s have a cup of tea, then, Candy.”
Skylar and Felicia left and made sure all the cats were accounted for before they opened the door and shut it behind them. Claire picked up one of the new cats and sat while Candy turned on the teapot. Candy picked up her phone and texted somebody. Claire assumed it must have been for the car.
“What about Paolo and Francesca?” Candy asked.
“Paolo and Francesca?” Claire asked.
“You know, the lovers from Dante’s Divine Comedy… I wonder if the cats would like those names.”
Claire laughed hard enough to make Candy turn around. She wasn’t sure what her new friend’s story was, but she didn’t care. She really liked her.
“I thought you were going to tell me you had a past life with Dante Alligheri!’ Claire said.
Candy paused as though she were thinking about it, “I may have, but it hasn’t come to me yet. I just really liked the story. But enough of that for now… I know you have to leave, so let’s have a quick cup of tea and talk about hanging out when you get back… or if I can help you move or anything.”
“Candy, I barely know you and you’re volunteering to help me move,” Claire said as she took the mug of tea from Candy.
“I don’t know, Claire, I’m normally a little bit of a loner, but I really like you. I like your energy. And I know I must seem crazy, talking about being psychic and past lives… and that I speak cat and say things like ‘I really like your energy’, but I’m really an all right person to be around.”
Claire already knew Candy was all right without her having to say anything. Claire might not have been nearly as psychic as Candy, but she had her own guiding sense of intuition, too.
“I have to be honest, Candy, I’ve always felt like I had tendencies toward being intuitive or maybe even psychic, who knows… but I’ve never met anyone who spoke about it so freely. It’s amazing. So, no, I don’t think you’re crazy. It feels good to be around you, I can’t explain it.”
“Good, because you do have those tendencies. I just wanted to tell you before you leave that your Zia is right behind you, hovering just over your shoulder. She’s on the other side and peaceful now and she’s watching over you.”
Candy paused for a couple of seconds and then continued to talk, “She wants me to tell you to go to her house and look under the statue with the velvet robe. I don’t know if she has one, but she keeps showing me a large statue, I think of Jesus, with a velvet robe? I want to say its red, but then sometimes its purple and other times green… sorry. That’s the best I can do.”
“Crazy,” Claire said, “Zia has… had… a lot of religious figures and statues. The statue I think you’re talking about, I mean it has to be, this statue of Jesus that she changed the robes on depending on the time of year and the holiday. All the robes were velvet. She wants me to look under it?”
“That’s what she’s saying.”
“Okay, well, I’ll be there this week for her funeral and I know I’ll have to help my Mom go through her things. Ugh, I’m not looking forward to it Candy, I just feel like it’s going to be really hard, you know?”
“Just remember, Claire, she’s with you in spirit, really. She’s whole and happy on the other side. Plus, she just said she was really missing someone by the name of Stefano. She’s glad he was waiting for her, she says.”
Twist of Fate Page 20
