Ugly Duckling: A True Life Story of Beauty, Manipulation and Murder

by Phillips, Royal

  “You get something on someone and never tell anyone. You will always have leverage. That person will always do what you want.” I said, “But, Pammie, isn’t that blackmail?” “Well, Auntie Royal,” she said in her velvet soft tone, “That depends on what you want.”

  _____

  SPRING 1983

  Pam, Paige and I drive up Sabino Canyon looking for Canyon Ranch Spa. The desert is dotted with saguaro cactus and shimmers with heat. We find a sign that says FENSTER SCHOOL. “Let’s go down this road,” I say. We drive up to find the campus of a private school. We decide to drop in and see what it is all about. A nice looking black man greeted us. His name was Henry Horne and he was the Dean of Admissions.

  He enthusiastically took us around from class to class. Everyone, teachers and students were relaxed and seemed happy to see us. I said as we were pulling away, “Paige, I think we just found your high school.” Pam was excited at the prospect of having Paige nearby.

  _____

  MAY 2, 1983

  One night, Pam and I are sitting in her new hot tub. I notice a bag of pot sitting on the side of the tub on the flagstone. Pam’s Cocker Spaniel, Logan, sniffs it and grabs the baggy and runs off into the desert.

  _____

  AUGUST 3, 1983

  Pam’s check arrives from Valley National Bank of Arizona. She asks me to set up a bank account in Santa Barbara for Pamela P. Siegel. She writes that she feels guilty, hopes husband Stuart never notices the missing money, but thinks it is a smart thing to do. She offers that if things get tight for me, I can borrow from it. I wonder about her marriage. Pam tells me that I will never have to worry about money…that she will always take care of me. I exclaim that my own kids have not even offered such a gift! How sweet is that! Wow!

  Check from Pam

  Letter from Pam

  _____

  DECEMBER 6, 1983

  Pam has joined the commercial real estate brokerage firm Grubb and Ellis. She sends me a pretty photo of herself from the announcement in the newspaper. She says she is the first female representative on the commercial side of this business. She writes several letters that tell me all of her monetary goals are beginning to come true. She wants her picture on a billboard. Knowing her, she will get it. She sends me the copy of the Sales Ranking for October 1983. Pam is NUMBER ONE! I notice her new dynamic friend, Ed Diercks, is number one for the entire year. We really love Ed. He is the best guy she’s ever had in her life even though she is still married.

  _____

  DECEMBER 8, 1983

  We sit by the outdoor fireplace under blankets and do what we do best: TALK. Pam is having a glass of wine and I have my tea. She is giving me pointers about business.

  I only know about babies but am willing to learn what she knows.

  _____

  DECEMBER 17, 1983

  So there we were, zipping along, across the sandy Tucson roads on our way to Nogales for another dinner at La Roca. Pam said she had a surprise for me. She asked me to slow down and then pull over. Above us loomed a billboard, with Pam’s photo, representing Grubb and Ellis. “Well Pam, you always said you wanted to be up there. Congrats to you! Wow. There you are!”

  _____

  DECEMBER 26, 1983: PAM LETTER

  Dear Royal,

  With all my positive thought, somehow I ended up having to spend last night in Palm Springs with Mutzie! I have been working on this deal right through the holidays-negotiating via phone-finally it was close enough to jump on a plane to Palm Springs to get the owner of Tucson and to sign contract. Was planning on one hour in Palm Springs airport-Well I got my signature on the contract, but the flight out was cancelled! Terror. I figured I’d stay in hotel or call Mutzie-I went for it! It was meant to be, I guess-maybe she will be dying soon? First hand info: her mind is really gone-like Logan before he died. She asked at least: ten times are you married, 15 times how old are you, six times what day is it-month? A few times called me by the wrong name. I could go on and on-her mind is gone. Memory at least. She could be persuaded to do almost anything! Sooooooo afraid of everything. Try no more, it is all energy wasted! Had a fantastic Christmas, thank you for ALL my goodies! Everything is useful and lovely. I will have to save my Christmas Eve story for some other time-the best ever-ever-ever! Stuart has moved out, feels like more freedom, but not safe yet! It’s like I’m not in my own house-anyway, time heals most! Can’t wait till he lets go mentally.

  Am supposed to go skiing today right now I’m just trying to get back to Tucson (now on flight from Px). Work is going wild-I almost feel like I should not ski, “Make hay while the sun shines!” I am not complaining, I love it and feel better than ever. Such energy on minimal sleep-maybe all my hours of sleep were needed out of boredom?

  Take off! Keep your fingers crossed, this deal will make me $75,000-if all goes my way!

  Love you,

  Pam

  It’s going to be an eventful and prosperous new year for both of us!

  _____

  EARLY CHRISTMAS 1983

  Pam’s boyfriend, Ed, decides to underwrite a party for my daughter Paige and the Fenster High School. Pam offers her Tanque Verde house and they roll up the rugs for serious dancing. Ed hires a DJ for the kids. One of the students dresses up as Santa Claus. A merry time for all the kids.

  _____

  MARCH 24, 1984

  My phone rings and Pam sounds very down. I ask her what is wrong. She says she is pregnant. When I say congratulations, she lowers her voice and softly says she doesn’t want this baby. “What about Stu, he’s your husband; what does he think?” I ask. She tells me he doesn’t know. That makes me wonder. Whose baby is it? She asks me if I will help her get an abortion. I tell Pam that I help bring babies in, not out, but since I am in the “baby business” I will do research. She tells me again that she wants all her energy to go towards being successful and making money. I remind her there are more important things in life than this money quest she is on. I find an abortion clinic in Santa Barbara and make her an appointment.

  _____

  MARCH 30, 1984

  It is the big day. I drive Pam to the clinic near Cottage Hospital. She is calm and collected. I am nervous and worried. I can’t see the writing or pictures in the magazines I am thumbing through in the waiting room. I don’t know how she will be when she comes out after the D&C. But the door opens and out she strolls smiling. I ask her if she’d like to go home and lie down. I am prepared to be her nurse. She just smiles and says, “Let’s go shopping.” And we did.

  _____

  APRIL 6, 1984

  I get a beautiful photograph of Pam on top of a Banff mountain in Canada. I think she went with Ed but it could be a new guy named Gary.

  It says:

  On top of the world

  Heading down expert-up as expert down expert! If we have to go up and down in this world, might as well do it as the best we can be-pushing beyond the Comfort zone, always!

  Pam skiing on mountain

  _____

  MAY 1984

  I was so impressed with this afternoon’s pregnant couple. Arianna Huffington had included her mother, Elli, in our lessons. Ariannna had thoroughly researched birth, and her family was extremely interested in all the details. My teachers heart was thrilled -- a new soul coming in with a family that did all they could to welcome their baby. During the class, Arianna lovingly would offer Michael tidbits to eat to keep his blood sugar up. This US Congressman and his wife made a great parenting team. Pam would be proud of me teaching notables.

  _____

  SEPTEMBER 5, 1984

  Number one son, Randy calls from University of Oregon. He is president of the Chi Psi fraternity. He is working on a brochure for the fall rush. Randy is studying journalism and loves to create illustrations. I suggest that he use Pam’s modeling photo as a lure. We call Pam to get her permission. She loves the idea.

  _____

  SEPTEMBER 15, 1984

  Randy calls from the Univer
sity of Oregon. The Chi Psi’s had the biggest pledge group ever. Thanks, Pam!

  Pam models for Chi Psi

  _____

  OCTOBER 15, 1984

  Often Pam would take Paige out to lunch and shopping in Tucson. They’d end up on the weekends at their favorite place, EEGEE’S for frozen slushy lemonades and turkey sandwiches. Sometimes they would splurge and eat grinders, their famous hamburgers. Paige liked it best when Pam took her to the University of Arizona football games, and, the Spring Flings when there was a carnival. They both loved the wild rides. (Paige knows I do not like wild rides!)

  _____

  OCTOBER 20, 1984

  Paige and I are about to travel to China. We have no idea of what we are getting into. We will be doing a circle of the following cities: Hong Kong, Canton on the Pearl River, Guilin, River Li, Yangshuo, Guangxi, Karst Mountains, Yang Shou, Hangzhou, Shanghi, Peking (Beijing), Xian, Banpo village, Shaanxi Province, Chengdu, Sichuan Province, Kunming, Yunnan Province, Hong Kong, Honolulu.

  As a fifteen year old, Paige will do a report for her Fenster School as they are allowing her absence. They think it will be a good experience. I have only been to Hong Kong in 1960 with my drunken mother, Mutzie. I understand that China is not like British owned Hong Kong. I am thinking this will be an eye-opening event for my beautiful daughter.

  THE POEM

  Written in Kunming, Oct. 1984

  CHINA

  Antique Ancient One

  Your wisdom Misplaced

  People working hard

  As the Water Buffalo they whip

  An overloaded Beehive

  Non-stopping activity

  Time marched onward

  Leaving you behind

  Cultural Revolution ten years of

  No education has left

  Its scar of filth and

  Backward ways

  Over-Population and greed at

  the top has almost destroyed you

  Save your beautiful

  Countryside

  Save your token temples

  for tourists

  Take us to the factories

  See how it's done

  Give us a "briefing" and tea

  And trust that we

  Will buy, buy, buy

  Like true Capitalists

  Great Wall of China with Paige, 1984

  _____

  NOVEMBER 5, 1984

  Paige and I are exhausted from touring China. She kept a good diary and will have an eye opening report for Fenster School. China was not ready for tourists. It was a joyless, colorless and very dirty country. The air was so putrid from factories belching out toxic smoke. People spit everywhere. The rest rooms were often trench toilets with no privacy. The Chinese women would stare at us…. each of us in our totality.

  The Chinese people would often gather in crowds and follow us around as they had never seen blond, blue-eyed people before. This frightened Paige. I told her to pretend she was a rock star. Pam would have loved this! We had guides and guards at all times directing us. We could not deviate from their schedule.

  We were told all the beautiful monuments of the past were simply historical and that the maintenance cost could feed so many people. We loved the surprise of the terracotta warriors at Xian. We loved the Forbidden City and our boat trip down the river Li. What spoiled it for us were the poor living conditions and the aftermath of Communism. We were not prepared for it.

  There was not a space in China that wasn’t inhabited…like an anthill. We could understand the one child only policy.

  When we reached Hawaii, I got down and kissed the ground. How fortunate we were to be Americans. John and Susie Barkhorn, former childbirth students of mine, had booked us a suite at their hotel, The Colony Surf Hotel. The U.S. Customs official smiled and stamped our passports and told us we had to be in our bikini’s and on the beach in 40 minutes.

  _____

  NOVEMBER 27, 1984

  Once again, I am in Tucson to share my China experience and slides at Pam’s dinner table. She likes to feature me. I am her entertainment.

  The next day, Pam and I make mind maps of our goals. Mine is for the creating and making of my childbirth video, THE COMPLETE BIRTH. Hers are for reaching the millionaire’s club in business. She has become the first woman to do commercial real estate in Tucson. As we cut out magazine images of what we truly want in our lives, I admire my beautiful niece. Pam is so much bolder than I am. I admire her verve and gusto to get ahead. She sent me a copy of her huge commission check. Wow, Pammie!

  Pam sharing her success 1984

  _____

  DECEMBER 12, 1984

  Pam's new Grubb and EUis friend, Ed, becomes a happy highlight in her life. He is divorced with two cute little boys and seems to be the ultimate dad, bringing camping gear into her house for all of them to "camp" inside. He has a beautiful king sized bed made for Pam out of hand-hewn logs. Ed drives to Santa Barbara to see Pam's therapist so that he can get to know her better. Ed was one of the nicest beau's Pam ever had. He is a handsome, happy-go-lucky guy and fun to be around. We all admired him for his energy and pleasant personality. And one thing is for sure: he is crazy about her. Pam will be corning with Ed to visit for Christmas. Even though Pam and Stu are getting a divorce, Stu seems to be unaware of this relationship.

  _____

  DECEMBER 22, 1984

  I pick you up at the Santa Barbara airport. You walk towards me and start to cry. I have dropped a lot of weight. You never cry. I am perplexed that you are crying over my weight loss. You smile and say. “You look SO good. Congrats to you, Auntie Royal. I can’t believe you did it.”

  We are having a 50’s dance for Xmas called FANTASY IN FROST. Ages 16 to 75 will be in attendance. I have secured the Veteran’s Hall in Carpinteria and a band named ROYALTY to play for us. We will all work to decorate and make this a fantastic party. Randy and his frat brothers are covering the ceiling with white balloons and silver ribbons. I have hired a limo to fetch the teens so they will be safe. I loan you a green velvet gown. Paige will wear one of my high school dance formals. Her date sends her a wristlet corsage. I also have individual golden Oscar awards to spot light each of my children and that includes you, Pam.

  _____

  CHRISTMAS DAY 1984

  We open our bounty of gifts as usual but the buzz is about the dance party. It seems the limo drivers were dealing drugs to the kids. A few of Paige’s friends threw up in the back seat and the limo company wants me to pay for the cleaning. We have a great deal of discussion about this. So much for my safety idea!

  _____

  DECEMBER 26, 1984

  We all tumble into Ed’s beautiful Jaguar and drive across Santa Barbara’s Riviera up to the El Encanto Hotel for Christmas dinner. The city sparkles below. Back at home while opening presents, Pam opens champagne for everyone, except me, since I gave up drinking in 1970. My heart was torn up when I discover Paige drunk with slurred words, falling down drunk. Somehow Ed and Pam had snuck gin and tonics for Paige and Erik during dinner. Big brother Randy must walk Paige to her bedroom. It brought back all the horrible past Christmases of my childhood when my parents were so out of control. When Paige woke up the next morning, she didn’t remember opening her presents, and I calmly told her I never wanted to see her like that again. I explained alcoholism runs in our family thru the generations. Pam thought this event was all very funny.

  Pam and Ed Christmas 1984, Montecito

  _____

  NEW YEAR’S EVE DAY 1984

  I couldn’t wait to drive my shiny new Jaguar from Santa Barbara to Las Vegas. Pam had invited me for a spa weekend. “It will be just us girls and just think about having massage and spa treatments all weekend. I have a friend that can get us into shows. C’mon Royal. It will be so much fun.”

  I have always been a fast driver. I grew up with sports cars and my older brothers encouraged me to do gymkhanas and road rallies. I sang songs at the top of my lungs across the flat, dry la
nds of Barstow.

  My three children were in Hawaii with their dad and his new girlfriend and my pilot boyfriend, Captain, was on his motorcycle visiting friends. It looked like a perfect getaway and an enjoyable way to ring in the New Year. I felt honored that my niece Pamela had wanted to spend this time with me. Her husband, Stuart, was going to visit his parents in Iowa. They were still living together even though she was cavorting with Ed. I pulled into the Desert Inn exhilarated from the swift smooth road trip - a seven-hour drive. The bellboy directed me to the elevator and we rang the suite’s doorbell.

  Royal enjoying new Jaguar

  _____

  NEW YEAR’S EVE NIGHT 1984

  No one answered for quite a long time but we could hear scuffling in the suite. When Pamela opened the door, she was in a short robe with disheveled hair and smeared lipstick. A tall swarthy looking man stood off to the side adjusting his shirt and pants. My eyes went to the open bathroom where I could see two champagne glasses by the sunken marble tub. “You’re early, Auntie Royal. This is my friend, Gary.” The man stepped forward. He looked unsettled. He said to the bellboy, “Put her bags over there.” He dug in his pocket and turned to me. “Could you give the bellboy something? I only have a $25 chip.” I was rapidly getting the picture. When the bellboy left, Gary said, “Pam told me you don’t drink so take this. And you can have this chip to gamble with.” He handed me a silver case that appeared to be for cigarettes and his lone $25 chip. He said goodbye and left. “I will call you later, Pam.” Gary didn’t know that I didn’t gamble, nor did I smoke the joints that were neatly rolled in the silver case. “Pam, what’s going on?” “Why, nothing, Auntie Royal.” “Oh, please! Give me a break. Look at your bed…look at the glasses by the tub. I’m not blind. What do you mean, nothing?”