Child of the River

by Wanda T. Snodgrass

  Before Dayme could answer, Erika scolded the boy. “How many times must I tell you, child? Don’t point at people! Don’t whisper in company. Mr. Farrington is a friend of your mother’s.”

  “And your daddy’s.” Dayme quickly added.

  “And you?” Benjamin dutifully asked Alexander. “How old are you?”

  “Four years old,” Alexander replied quietly.

  “The same age?”

  “Little over three month’s difference,” Dayme told him lightly. “Alexander is the elder, but Daniel Lee is the loudest.”

  Erika placed a plate of scrambled eggs in front of Daniel Lee, and he rebelled. “I don’t want no damned eggs!” he insisted stubbornly. “Can’t have flap jacks, I won’t eat anything.”

  “Daniel Lee!” Dayme was embarrassed at her son’s obvious lack of good table manners. She spanked the child then and there for cursing.

  His lower lip pouted when he finally stopped crying. “Jake…. Jake said we could cuss,” he snubbed.

  “He what!”

  “But just at the barn,” Alexander reminded his brother in a serious tone. “Not around the womenfolk, ’member? Jake said he’d tan our hides if we cussed in the house.”

  A wide smile swept across Benjamin's face which he quickly wiped away with a napkin. Dayme’s amusement showed only in the twinkle in her eyes for her face was stern. She decided not to pursue the subject further but to take it up with Jake Kuhl instead.

  “Is Daddy really dead?” Alexander asked woefully.

  “Why no, darling,” Dayme answered. She was flabbergasted that the child asked such a question. “Daddy is in Mississippi. He’ll be coming home any day now. Why did you think he was dead?”

  “I heard Jake tell Ten Penny that Mr. Edwards died,” Alexander explained. “That’s Daddy’s name…Mr. Edwards.”

  “Baby,” Dayme cooed. “Come here and let me hug you. How long have you been carrying this around in your heart, thinking your daddy is dead?”

  The boy shrugged. “Don’t know.”

  Daniel Lee turned to his brother with a mischievous expression, his eyes wide and ominous. “They’re gonna dig a deep, deep old hole and throw Daddy in and cover him up with dirt like Mr. Wilkes.”

  “Hush, Daniel Lee!”

  Alexander was not convinced. He began to whimper. “Daddy’ll fall through it to….”

  “That’s enough! Your daddy is healthy and well. It was another Mr. Edwards who died.” She couldn’t bring herself to explain to the boys about the grandfather they never knew. After the children left the table, she shook her head as she buttered a biscuit. “Children. They hear more than they ought. They heard us discussing going to the cemetery next month on Decoration Day and drew their own conclusion.”

  “We observe it in April in Mississippi and in Virginia. I thought it was official.”

  “Not here,” Erika put in. “It’s the fourth Saturday in May…shust after the spring roundup.”

  The sun’s rays blazed pink and gold over the horizon. Benjamin pulled back a curtain to peer through the kitchen window. “I just wondered what this country looks like in daylight. Can’t see anything in the dark.”

  “It’s a fine land,” Erika told him with a cheery smile. “Beautiful land.”

  “All I can see are oak thickets and cactus bushes.” His tone made it clear that he was not impressed. He asked Dayme to walk with him down to the corral, for he would be leaving soon.

  As the two walked along, he slipped his arm around her waist but she wrenched away. Not another word exchanged between them until they reached the corral fence.

  “Benjamin,” she told him. “You can’t come out here to our home and act like some young swain. It’s embarrassing. I’m a married woman. What will Erika think?”

  “I hope to change that. Anyway, the woman is only a servant. What do you care what she thinks?”

  “I’m married to Morgan. It’s done. Nothing can change that now. I love my husband.”

  Benjamin threw a saddle across the black gelding’s back. His voice was confident. “You’re not happy. I can see it in your face. I heard that Morgan isn’t happy either. How could he be with half a loaf? You still love me, and you know it.”

  “No I don’t,” she defended. “We are, too, happy.”

  He took the woman by the shoulders so that she had to face him. “In my eyes, and I suspect in God’s, you belong to me, not Morgan. You became a woman in my arms first. You’re the mother of my son.”

  “I didn’t say that,” she cried, her lip quivering. “I might have known you’d have a reason to come out here. You think you are Daniel Lee’s father.”

  “I know I am.”

  “You must always have a reason, Benjamin. You’re a very reasonable man. My husband loves me without a reason, for no reason whatsoever.”

  “Really?” Benjamin’s attitude was superior. “And what is your reason for martyring yourself…to pay penitence? I know you love me, Dayme. There’s not a doubt in my mind. You’ll destroy Morgan by clinging to him and trying to make the best of a bad marriage. Set the man free, free to find another who will make him happy.”

  “We’re happy enough,” she insisted, although there was no assurance present in her voice. “I don’t keep tabs on Morgan. We’re pals. Both are free to do as we please.”

  “Really? Tell me, do you two ever argue?”

  “Why…why no. No, of course not. We get along fine.”

  Benjamin threw his head back and laughed. “See? You don’t care enough about him to argue. You certainly know how to argue with me.”

  “That’s different. You’re obstinate, especially about women and their place. Morgan is special. He’s always pleasant and agreeable. We have nothing to argue about. He doesn’t interfere with my decisions about this ranch, for example. He even signed our petition for Women’s right to vote.”

  “It is better to have differences than just indifference,” Benjamin quoted.

  “Stop it!” Dayme cried. “You’re tryin’ to confuse me.”

  Benjamin led the mount through the corral gate to where Dayme stood. “Come away with me. What you feel for Morgan is friendship and obligation for helping you over some rough times.”

  “Come away with me.” Those were the words she had longed to hear so long ago, but there was an empty ring to them now. Something was missing. Not once does he mention his love for me, she thought, only my love for him. And yet, there is a plaintive note in his voice, an urgency I don’t understand.

  “Please,” he added. “Let’s rear our son together.”

  The woman turned away, troubled. Conflicting messages pulsed from her heart to her brain. “I…I can’t. Morgan….”

  “How long has he been gone?”

  “Since…since February.”

  “That’s a long time, Dayme. Maybe he isn’t coming back. Do you really want our son to grow up not knowing his real father?” he asked her gently. “In the wilds of Texas without proper schooling? Already the boy is getting out of hand. The firm hand of a schoolmaster will teach him some manners.” He tied the horse to the fence. “There is something I need to tell you. Actually, I suppose I should have told you long ago.” He explained about the vast fortune he inherited from his mother, including the buried gold pieces.

  Dayme tossed her long hair back over her shoulder, for it was blowing in the wind. “You didn’t have to keep it from me,” she said with a bit of irritation. “I’ve never been too concerned with a man’s material worth.”

  “Daniel Lee will go to boarding school,” Benjamin planned. “In England, perhaps. He will be….”

  “No!” Dayme cried, stomping her foot. “No! I want my sons with me! They’re too little.”

  Realizing he had put his foot in his mouth again with the fiery tempered woman, the man quickly composed himself. “I meant when he is older,” he said quietly. “Daniel Lee…what I’m saying is, the boy has all the attributes of a statesman. He’s intelligent, creative,
stubborn, and he’s got a gift of gab. He has a wild imagination.” Benjamin chuckled with pride. “With his language, the boy would make a good Secretary of the Navy.”

  “Oh? And Alexander…what about Alexander?”

  Benjamin patted the horse’s jaws. “With his quiet diplomacy,” he finally replied, “an Ambassador perhaps?”

  Dayme lifted her chin proudly. “My sons are not for sale, and neither am I. Your money can’t buy us. The only difference between a rich man and a poor man is money. Morgan may not be financially able to give us all the material things he would like to, but he’s rich in other ways. He adores our children…both of them. He teaches them things that are not written in books. I couldn’t bear to take those boys away from Morgan. It would break his heart. Forget it, Benjamin. You can’t just walk back into my life from out of nowhere and expect me to….”

  “Why not?”

  “Morgan is too good to treat him like that. I wish Morgan were here. I need to talk to Morgan.”

  It is difficult not to just blurt out the whole story to her, he thought. That Morgan is back in town. That he told me about the child and forced me to come calling. Morgan said he’d kill me, and yes, I believe he would. He gathered her in his arms and tried to kiss her, but she pulled away. Some dull day when our hair is turning gray, he mused, when it’s too late to turn the other way, I’ll tell you all about it. But no, dear Dayme, I’ll not tell you today. He mounted the black horse. “What more can I say? Leave this dreadful place. Come back east with me.”

  “Oh, Benjamin,” she cried in anguish. “I’m all mixed up. I don’t know if…. I thought I…I don’t know what….”

  The man shook his head. “You can’t have it both ways. I’ve said all there is to say. Will it be me, or will it be Morgan? You can’t have us both, my dear. The first stage out of this place is May 28, your Decoration Day. You have until then to make up your mind. I won’t be coming back.”

  He kicked the horse’s flank and rode away in a cloud of dust. Dayme stood there shading her anxious green eyes, watching him out of sight, troubled and wondering. There’s something more to this trip than meets the eye, she thought as Benjamin turned in the saddle and waved to her then disappeared from view. I’m afraid she muttered as she trudged back up to the ranch house with a heavy heart and some complex thinking to do.

  Chapter 36

  Dayme refused to go into town the entire month of May. Knowing Benjamin was in the village, she felt a desperate need to communicate with Morgan. Her heart was in a quandary wondering what to do. Is he ever coming back? Has he left me? The questions were at the forefront of her mind as she went about her daily chores. She didn’t trust her wavering heart around Benjamin. The attraction for the man was still there, and she hated it. He knew it, and she knew it, and it troubled her.

  “It isn’t like Morgan,” she confided to Erika. “It’s as if he disappeared off the face of the earth. Mrs. Edward’s didn’t answer the wire I had Ace Hopkins send from Fort McKavett. I swallowed my pride inquiring about Morgan. Now, I wish I hadn’t lowered myself to ask. The old biddy refuses to speak to me even by wire. Do you think she has succeeded in poisoning his mind against me? Talked him into staying in Vicksburg?”

  “No,” Erika soothed. “Don’t you vorry, dear. He’ll come home. Something shust delayed him.”

  “Yeah, that’s what worries me. Who?”

  Before daylight, the ranch wagons were on the trail to the river park near the low water bridge for the Decoration Day Celebration. Two hours ahead of Dayme’s wagon, Ace Hopkins and Ten Penny Nail arrived at the site with the beef she donated. Holiday excitement just wasn’t there for Dayme. She went along for the sole reason of not spoiling Erika and the children’s good time. She was miserable, not knowing if Morgan would be coming back. Benjamin was leaving and demanding an answer. She wondered if he would sue for custody of Daniel Lee if she didn’t go with him.

  The smell of smoke and sizzling beef in the dugout barbecue pit greeted their wagon, as did the sound of accordion music and laughter. Ten Penny scurried with a glass of home brew in his hand to unhitch her team and lead them down to the river. The two women unloaded the food and spread a picnic cloth and quilt in between greetings and hugs.

  “Dayme!” Carmella Gibbons grabbed her around the neck. “It’s so good to see you. Where is that Morgan hiding?”

  “He isn’t here,” Dayme explained. She told the woman about her father-in-law's death and that Morgan had to attend to details. “He should be coming home any day now,” she told her softly, not believing it for a minute.

  In other years, she would have been thrilled to participate in the festivities, especially the dance that followed. Not this time. She went through the motions like she was performing a bit part in a play. She had never missed Morgan more than now.

  “Cheer up, girl,” Erika told her. “I vouldn’t be surprised to see Mr. Morgan riding in today.”

  “No,” Dayme murmured. “He won’t come. He isn’t ever coming. If one more person asks me about Morgan, I think I’ll scream.”

  The pioneer women had a pitch-together dinner on the grounds. Plank boards set on whiskey barrels served for a table. After the meal, people gathered around the platform to listen to the music and the program. There was an array of speeches to commemorate the Civil War Confederate dead. The sheriff’s wife read important news items from the San Antonio weekly newspaper. There were races, music, singing, and games for the youngsters.

  The after dinner speeches seemed to take forever. The cake auction to raise money for a rock fence around the cemetery was equally boring as the auctioneer drained every dime he could for the cause. The circuit preacher was in town for the occasion. Nobody knew or asked his denomination. It didn’t matter to God-fearing settlers who were hungry to hear the gospel.

  Dayme scanned the crowd periodically and glanced toward the entrance road to the river park. She kept hoping that Morgan would come riding in. Her heart was in a tangle as the hour approached when she must make the most important decision of her life. If ever I needed Morgan, she thought, it is now. Nervous and edgy, she clapped when other people clapped and smiled when other people laughed but she felt dead, empty.

  “Please, Mother,” Alexander begged Dayme. “May I go wade like Daniel Lee?”

  “What!” The woman ran frantically toward the river calling the child. “Daniel Lee!” she scolded. “I ought to wear you out! You know better than to go into the river without permission!”

  “But…but…the other boys….” Daniel Lee wailed, snubbing because he had to get out.

  “They’re older than you,” Dayme told him sternly. “You could step in a hole. You could drown. You could be swept downriver, and we’d never find you.”

  Erika joined them on the bank of the shoals. “It’s a celebration, Dayme,” she said softly. “You go on. I’ll vatch the little ones. I’ll shust go vading vith them.”

  Dayme folded the tablecloth and put the baskets away in the wagon. The clock ticked slowly. It seemed the afternoon would last forever. Idle chatter and laughter, she thought, will surely drive me mad. My heart tells me that Morgan stayed in Vicksburg. He doesn’t want me anymore, and I love him so. He’s not coming back. Benjamin is leaving on the eastbound stage, out of my life forever. But, I can’t…I can’t go with him. I don’t want to go. Not if Morgan still loves me. What if he insists on taking Daniel Lee? Oh Lord, what am I going to do?

  The turmoil in her heart made it impossible to listen reverently to the long-winded preacher’s fire and brimstone sermon. He eyeballed the men in the crowd. Many were high on home brew. He asked the good Lord to forgive the revelers for their sinful ways. He instructed the choir to keep singing one more stanza of the invitation hymn, over and over and over. There were already three women, a man and several children standing beside him who had made a confession of faith, but the preacher refused to give up. “Somebody out there,” he pleaded, “some lost soul…won’t you come now to Jesus?�
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  The benediction took the better part of five full minutes. Dayme’s neck hurt from bowing her head. When the preacher finally said “Amen,” she whispered to Erika. “Thank goodness! And thank goodness the baptizing will be tomorrow.”

  Pioneer Rest Cemetery on the south side of town was a clamor of activity. People worked on family plots, visited and hugged each other. Some wept at family headstones on the rocky hillside. Occasionally, ladies squealed in recognition of a friend they hadn’t noticed before in the crowd of almost six hundred. Some ladies planted vines and flower seed. All the graves were decorated with handmade wreaths, Confederate flags and flowers. Dayme decorated her family’s graves with fruit jars filled with pink cabbage roses.

  Erika bent over, pulling weeds from her husband’s plot when she caught Daniel Lee by the shirttail. “No! No, child. It’s disrespectful to step on graves. You walk around them, young man. Do you hear me? You, too, Alexander.”

  “Zander stepped on more’n me,” Daniel Lee remarked with an all-smart expression. “Old booger man’s watching you, Zander.”

  “Oh, tish,” Erika admonished. “He’s vatching you, too. Quit trying to frighten your brother.” The woman shook her head and remarked to a nearby acquaintance. “Children—they’re born little monsters. They must be taught respect.”

  Some of the boys entertained themselves by walking precariously on the narrow concrete edging around the plots, balancing themselves with their arms. Out of Erika’s earshot, Daniel Lee reminded his brother in a low tone. “Don’t step on a crack or Mama’s back’ll get broke.”

  “Mmmmm,” Alexander shamed his brother, “you told a story. Shame, shame.”

  “It will, too. Billy told me so.”

  Straightening wearily from pulling weeds in the family plot, sweat beaded on Dayme’s forehead, and her back ached. This task would have been easier, she surmised, if she had on work trousers instead of this dress and corset. She wiped away the dampness with a dainty lace handkerchief. Suddenly she blinked, and her breath caught. She thought her eyes were deceiving her. It was Morgan! He was shoveling dirt onto Lester McDoon’s grave across the road by the Free State sign. She ran down the hillside, holding her dress tail to keep from tripping. “Morgan!” she cried breathlessly. “Thank God! Oh, how I have missed you, dear heart.”