by Lily Graison
Abigail shifted in her seat and sat her cup down. "He will. Once he's had time to think things through, he'll be banging on your door demanding answers." She laughed and reached out, taking Laurel's hand. "Trust me. Those Avery's don't know when to quit. He'll be back. He loves you."
Laurel let out an unladylike snort and shook her head. "I think you're confusing desire with love, Abigail. Holden's never said anything of the sort."
"Just because he hasn't told you means nothing. Do you honestly think he would have tried so hard to win you over just for desire? He could bed any number of women." She grinned and took another sip of her tea. "It's not desire that drives him, Laurel, its you. He loves you. Just wait and see. He'll say it before the week is out."
Laurel wasn't so sure about that. The night she met Holden, he hadn't appeared to be a man looking for love. He was alone in a saloon notorious for their clean girls. If she had to guess, she'd say he was there for one reason and one reason only. To find a bedmate. And she'd supplied that for him without much hesitation.
She'd felt so miserable that night and hoped to drown all her sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. She'd never been much of a drinker and had stood staring into her glass when it was set before her. Then he spoke, the timber of his voice rattling her clean to the toes. One glance up at his face and it was as if the earth had shifted. The smile on his face said no matter what the problem was, it wasn’t the end of the world and he'd been right.
She'd laughed for the first time in months while standing at the bar talking to a man she knew nothing about. A nameless man with a gentle smile and dazzling blue eyes. A man she'd wanted enough to invite into her room and silently longed for him when he left.
Abigail gave her a reassuring smile and shifted her focus onto Emmaline, asking her questions about the trip she and Tristan had taken. Laurel was barely listening but at the mention of gold, she looked up. Emmaline was looking at her, a look in her eye she'd seen before. The girl had gold fever. She'd seen it before in a dozen other towns.
Without excusing herself, she stood, walked through the house and found Morgan and Tristan in the parlor. They stopped talking the moment they saw her. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she said.
"You didn't. We were just talking about Tristan's trip to Idaho."
Laurel smiled. "There's gold in the hills, I hear." At Tristan's amused look, she shrugged one shoulder. "Emmaline and Abigail were talking about it."
Tristan nodded, throwing her a smile.
Inhaling a deep breath, Laurel turned to Morgan. "I appreciate your offer, Morgan, but I think I'd like to go back to the school."
"Are you sure?"
She nodded her head. "Yes. It's been an eventful night and I'm exhausted. I just want to go home, crawl into my own bed and sleep for a week."
She'd been expecting an argument and when Abigail and Emmaline got involved, it grew heated. Questions about Ethan rose and as much as Laurel wanted to answer them all, she couldn’t. Holden was the one who needed to hear it. He was the only one who really mattered.
No one was happy about her leaving but Morgan walked her back to the school anyway, Tristan following behind at a distance to keep a watch and make sure no one was following them. They didn't trust Ethan and she was slightly amused at how cautious they were.
Morgan entered the room in the back of the school first, made sure no one was inside and waited until she'd bolted the door behind her before leaving. She'd seen him linger by the side of the building for a few minutes when she peeked out the window and she knew he'd be close by regardless of what she told him.
She didn't have a doubt in her mind about Ethan. He wouldn't hurt her. Not physically, anyway. He may say things that hurt her feelings but it was nothing she hadn't heard before from her father. The memories of his hurtful words would remain with her always.
Pushing away the depressing thoughts, she removed her dress, got ready for bed and sat down at the table to try and think. She wasn't sure what to do. Her heart told her to dig in her heels and refuse to budge but that scared little girl in her wanted to flee again. To protect her heart at all costs and run.
She stood, fetched water for tea and had drunk two cups before someone beat on the door so loudly, the wood quaked against the frame. Her heart leaped into her throat and she wondered who was on the other side of the door, Holden or Ethan. Not that it mattered. She didn't want to talk to either of them.
Another furious bang and Holden's voice drifted through the wood, her name yelled angrily.
"Laurel! Open the door. I know you're in there."
Chapter Nine
Swallowing to dislodge the lump in her throat, or was it really her heart, she stood, crossed the room and unbolted the door. Holden barged in, slammed the door back shut with one foot and sent her a look that chilled her to the bone.
"You're married?" He shook his head, laughed and jerked his hat off his head, tossing it across the room. "All this time I've been making a fool of myself asking you to marry me and you already have a husband?"
She tried to speak but he shoved away from the wall, paced the length of her small room and glared at her on every pass, grumbling and voicing his displeasure. "Why, Laurel? Was all this some game to you? Did you enjoy seeing me grovel like an idiot, beg you to marry me like some love-sick fool knowing nothing I ever said or did would make you change your mind?"
Ten minutes of listening to him rant and rave and Laurel leaned back against the wall, watching him make laps over her rug and even managed to hide a yawn when his back was turned. She wasn't about to complain because of his behavior. Truth be known, she was happy he even bothered to come back. She didn't think he would. Once Ethan started spouting his lies, Laurel thought for sure Holden would have gone back to the ranch and never thought of her again.
She was contemplating the split-ends of her hair when she noticed Holden had stopped yelling. She looked up, saw him on the other side of the room staring at her. "What?"
"Have you heard anything I've said?"
"Umm…most of it." She bit her lip to keep from smiling.
Holden narrowed his eyes, leaning his head to one side. "Which parts?"
Laurel straightened and dropped her braid. "I heard the part where you think I've been lying to you. Which I haven't done. I also heard something about Maggie and how she'd never deceived you and the fact that I did was unforgivable." She met his gaze and let him see how much that statement hurt. "I've never lied to you, Holden. I've been honest with you from the beginning. I told you the day I brought Alexandra home, and I found out you lived here, that nothing would ever become of this. You were the one who insisted. You were the one who wouldn't give up. And this is the reason I've told you no so adamantly."
"Because you were already married?"
"No!" She took a deep breath, regretting she'd yelled. "We're not married." Her cheeks heated and without being told, she knew her face was red. "I left him at the altar."
Holden raised one eyebrow. "So you agreed to marry him, then left?" At her nod, he said, "Why?"
She hated retelling the story. It was humiliating to rehash it all, to even remember how she'd been used. Holden crossed the room, stopped in front of her and hooked a finger under her chin, lifting her head so she'd look at him. "You know what? I don't want to know. It doesn't matter." He stared down at her, the truth of his words shining in his eyes. "I love you, Laurel. I've loved you from the moment you smiled at me in that noisy saloon in Missoula. I wanted you forever the first time I kissed you. I still want you, regardless if you have a husband or a fiancé you left at the altar or whoever the hell he is. I want you for my wife and I'll not take no for an answer."
Abigail's words filled her head again and it was all Laurel could do to keep from crying. She stared up at Holden, the admission of her own feelings on the tip of her tongue but fear kept her silent. Ethan claimed to love her too and he'd ripped her heart into shreds. Could she take that chance again? Did she want to?
She bl
inked away the stinging in her eyes. "How do I know you won't hurt me a year from now? Or five years from now?"
He narrowed his eyes at her and leaned his head to one side. "Define hurt?"
She started to answer but he cut her off before she had a chance.
"Will I get on your nerves and make you mad? Probably. Will I irritate you to the point you'll make me sleep outside with the horses? More than likely. Will I beat you, betray you, take you for granted or toss you aside? Never. I love you, Laurel. I'd never do anything to purposely hurt you. That's a promise."
Lord she wanted to believe him. Wanted with all her heart to let her guard down and just let what happens, happen. "Will you take other women to your bed?"
He looked shocked by the question but shook his head and said, "No. I don't want other women. I want you."
"But what about later? Say, years from now when I'm old and fat. Will you want someone else then?"
Staring down at her, something in his eyes told her he knew why she was so fearful of commitment. He smiled, lowered his head until his lips lingered just above her own. "I'll never be unfaithful to you, Laurel. You have my word."
She sighed, the tension in her body draining as he closed the distance and kissed her. "No more secrets, Laurel. No more hiding from me." Wrapping his arms around her, he smiled and hugged her to him. "I've been nothing but honest with you from the beginning. I want you. Always have."
She nodded, relief filling her to the point of exhaustion. "What about Ethan?"
"What about him?" he asked. "Do you want to marry him?"
"No. I would have never left home if I had."
"Then there's nothing to worry about where he is concerned."
"He's not going to leave, Holden."
"Well, that depends on what you do between now and the next time you see him."
"Meaning?"
He grinned and hooked a finger under her chin so she couldn't look away. "Will you marry me?"
She shouldn't have been shocked by the question, he'd only asked her the same thing a dozen times before but for the first time, she wanted to say yes without hesitation. Looking up at him, she smiled and said, "No."
His grin widened, the hand under her chin lowering to the top of her nightgown, tugging on the ribbon holding it closed. "So you do want to marry Ethan."
"No."
His deft fingers freed her breasts before sliding into the front of her gown. "You don't want Ethan. You don't want me. What is it you want, Miss Montgomery?" He tweaked one nipple, causing a moan to spill from her lips. Her eyes closed, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. "Marry me, Laurel, and the problem with Ethan will go away."
She opened her eyes and looked up at him when he tugged her gown down over her shoulders, the material pooling at her feet. A bit of mischief lurked behind his eyes but she saw his desire for her there, too.
Holden Avery wasn't like any other man she'd ever known. He was a breed of man truly unique. He trusted and forgave with a blink of the eye and she'd be a fool to let him go. So why couldn't she say yes?
He gave her little time to contemplate an answer. He lowered his head, his lips tickling a path across her breasts before sucking one taunt nipple into his mouth. Laurel closed her eyes, let her head fall back against the wall and just enjoyed the sensations he elicited.
His lips burned a trail between her breast and her pulse leaped when he knelt before her, untying her bloomers, before kissing the soft skin of her belly. He pulled her bloomers down to join her gown near her ankles, his mouth venturing lower, his tongue hot and wet on her hip. When he reached the juncture between her legs, her knees went weak.
Parting her folds, he kissed and suckled her, his tongue burrowing into her and greedily taking what he wanted. He lifted her left leg, placed it over his shoulder and didn't stop licking her until tremors caused her limbs to shake, small anguished sounds tore from her throat and she'd grabbed his head with both hands, to push him away or pull him closer, she didn't know. She shifted her hips, brought him closer to where she needed him and cried out as she climaxed, her body convulsing so hard she was bucking against the wall.
When she was spent, sucking in lungs full of air, he lowered her leg. His hands slid up her body, his lips following the trail he left before he let go of her. Hearing a rustle of fabric, she opened her eyes, and watched him remove his cloths as his gaze bore into her own. When they both stood naked, he smiled, ran the back of one finger down her cheek and wrapped his other arm around her. "I'm not leaving until you say yes."
Picking her up, he carried her to the bed, positioned himself between her thighs and slid into her body with such aching slowness, she thought she'd die from the waiting. The pace he set was meant to torture, she was sure, and he never let his gaze leave her own.
It took only minutes for her body to heat again, for small tingles to course through her limbs and she clung to him, her nails biting into his shoulders. When he said, "Marry me," Laurel's heart felt so light, she thought it would burst. Tears burned her eyes, her arms around his shoulders tightening and the word yes was on the tip of her tongue. She climaxed moments later, her tears spilling forth to mingle with her cries of ecstasy, Holden's own hoarse cry joining hers.
When he stilled and collapsed beside her on the bed, Laurel could do nothing but stare up at the ceiling and try to remember how to breathe. Small shocks of pleasure rode her limbs, an incessant throb pulsing through her body letting her know she was alive and Holden's arm, so strong and steady, holding her close to his side.
She sighed, and then turned her head to where he lay. He was watching her, love shining in his eyes. "I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Of getting hurt again."
Holden shifted, pulling her closer to his side and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Tell me about Ethan."
Laurel toyed with the hair on his chest while thinking. "Our marriage was arranged by my father before I left for college. Ethan saw no need for me to continue my studies because he saw me as doing nothing after marriage but taking care of him, our home and any children we would have and he told me repeatedly I couldn't go away to school. I refused to be stopped. I wanted more. I wanted to teach and I wasn't going to let him stop me. With my father's persuasion, Ethan relented and I left for Boston and got my degree."
She wrapped her arm around Holden, burying her face into his neck and let memories that still caused pain to engulf her. "He was such a gentleman. So dashing. He courted me with a flourish no one in Seattle had seen in years. During my time in Boston, gifts and letters would show up weekly. When I returned home, he produced lavish gifts, took me on picnics and even hired a circus to set up their tents on the outskirts of town to celebrate my birthday." She exhaled a breath and smiled when Holden's arms wrapped around her tighter. "He told me he loved me, that he'd do anything in his power to make me happy and when he wasn't courting me, he was doing all he could to help my father. Ethan is quite adapt at turning nothing into something extraordinary and with his help, my father's business grew in a matter of months. Profits were up and everyone was happy. Most of all, me.
My mother died when I was thirteen so it was just my father and me living in a monstrosity of a house. I was lonely for the most part because father didn't approve of most of the girls I knew. When Ethan came along, he swept me off my feet, I guess you could say. When I returned from college, we set a wedding date. I gave myself to him that very night as if we were already married."
