A Love to Have and to Hold

by Linda Ford

  The discussion turned to how they would take turns staying with their father until he was better.

  “We’ll have to make sure Ma gets some rest,” Eve said. “You know she’ll balk at the idea.”

  “We’re prepared to stay overnight and as long as is necessary,” Flora said with some degree of heat.

  “So, let’s sort out how we’ll do it.” Eve seemed the most logical of the ladies.

  They decided that each couple would take turns sitting with Jacob while their ma rested. “We’ll have to promise to waken her if there is any change.”

  “I’ll take a turn,” Josie said.

  “You shouldn’t be alone. It’s too difficult to stay awake.”

  Walker spoke before he could think how they’d react. “I’ll sit with Josie. I owe the preacher that much.” He’d explained how Jacob had taken him in and offered him employment until the addition was finished.

  Every pair of eyes turned to him. Stared and then shifted to Josie and stared.

  Walker had no idea what was going through each mind. Though he suspected they were seeing things that didn’t exist. “As you said, Josie shouldn’t be alone. I’m the most logical one to stay with her.”

  “Logical, is it?” Flora said, her green eyes bright. “About as logical as getting stranded in a snowstorm.”

  Kade pulled her close. “Not everything is logical,” he said.

  Walker must have looked as confused as he felt, for the others laughed, and in a burst of words explained how Flora had been out riding…

  “Against Pa’s wishes.”

  And had gotten lost in a snowstorm…

  “I believe it was God’s hand that led me to Kade’s home.” Flora looked as pleased as a bee in a lush patch of flowers.

  “So, Pa insisted they must marry.”

  The others laughed, but Flora scowled. “Nobody could make me marry.”

  “And yet you are married.” Eve spoke gently.

  “Because Kade made me love him. So, I married him because I wanted to.”

  Kade hugged her. “It was easy to make you fall in love with me. I think you did so right from the first but were too proud to admit it.”

  Victoria had been mostly silent until now. “Flora knows what’s she’s doing. She doesn’t intend to let Kade think he has her in the palm of his hand.”

  Reese leaned back and studied his wife. “What are you saying?”

  She gave him a smile so sweet that Walker imagined she could have asked Reese for anything at that moment. “I’m just saying all of you need to understand that we married you because we love you.”

  Walker turned away from the obvious affection between them. They seemed so certain of their love for each other. Would it survive disappointments and changes?

  The ladies went inside to prepare dinner. After they’d eaten, Eve and Cole sat with Jacob while the other ladies insisted their mother go upstairs and rest, promising they would call if there was any change whatsoever.

  Walker looked at the half-finished building. He had only a little bit of the roof left to shingle, but he was afraid the sound of hammering might bother Jacob, so he went to the little barn Donny was constructing. Kade and Reese joined him, and they soon had it finished.

  The afternoon passed slowly. It seemed no one wanted to do anything until the preacher returned to his senses. People still congregated in front of the church, coming and going according to what their responsibilities required.

  Several times someone would come to the house and ask after the preacher.

  Then an old cowboy sauntered over to them. The girls were instantly on their feet. “Mr. Bates, it’s so good to see you.” The men rose and shook hands with the man. Reese introduced Walker to the older man. “This cowboy has been a faithful friend to the whole family. He’s even preached a few fine sermons when the need arose.”

  Mr. Bates made a dismissive sound.

  Reese continued. “Walker has been helping Pa with the construction. He found Pa when he was missing and brought him home.”

  “Good man.”

  Walker couldn’t explain why it should be, but the man’s two words of praise were like a blessing.

  Mr. Bates turned back to the ladies. “I came as soon as I heard. How is your pa?”

  “No change,”

  “May I see him? I’d like to pray for him.”

  Josie led Mr. Bates inside.

  “It’s so good to see him,” Victoria said. “I feel like things will be okay now that he’s here.”

  Eve and Cole joined them. “Ma is in there with Mr. Bates.”

  The ladies turned their attention to supper, and soon they were crowded around the table, with Mr. Bates joining them. They kept their voices low as they visited.

  Victoria and Reese went to the bedroom, and Josie brought Ma out.

  Bedtime approached. “The girls will sleep upstairs,” Eve said. “Just like old times.”

  “The men can bed down in the addition,” Ma said.

  Cole led the way. “Wake us up when it’s our turn to sit with Pa.”

  “One of you can have the cot.” Walker couldn’t imagine taking the cot while the others spread bedrolls on the floor. Of course, he didn’t have a bedroll, which Kade pointed out.

  So, he reluctantly took the only bed, and the others stretched out on the floor as darkness descended.

  “The girls will be enjoying their time together,” Kade said.

  Walker listened to the men talk. They seemed so happy. But he knew how quickly that could end. He’d once known a happy home…until Uncle Paul left. Things changed after that. Pa’s shoulders grew bowed, and he was short tempered. Ma grew quiet and serious. Even in the last year of her life, as she grew weaker with each passing day, and, although her faith was strong, it seemed something had gone from her spirit.

  The men turned their talk to cows and ranching. Walker tried to listen, but he hadn’t slept the night before and couldn’t stay awake.

  His last thought was that these men had land and homes to offer their wives, and he was only a penniless, homeless cowboy.

  Victoria shook Josie awake. “Your turn,” she whispered.

  They both moved as quietly as they could so as not to disturb Ma, who shared Josie’s bed, but despite their caution, Ma sat up. “Is he awake?”

  “No, Ma.” Victoria rubbed her mother’s back. “Lie down again. We will let you know if there is any change.”

  Ma looked ready to argue then sighed. “Very well. I know you girls are every bit as capable as I am.” She settled back on the bed.

  Josie pulled her dress on and tiptoed downstairs. Gray light filled the windows and pooled on the floor. She glanced toward the church. Only a few people remained, most of them sitting on the steps or the ground.

  Mr. Bates had unrolled his bedding in the addition, but through the kitchen window she glimpsed him sitting on the ground outside, his back to the wall, his head tipped down. She couldn’t tell if he slept or prayed.

  She slipped into Pa’s room and studied him. His color was good. “Pa,” she whispered. There was no response. She sat at the bedside.

  Reese had been with Victoria. He was to waken Walker and send him to keep Josie company. She wondered if he would choose to stay in bed. Not that she would blame him. He wasn’t part of the family and had no reason to inconvenience himself.

  But her heart lightened as he stepped into the room. It was nice to have someone to keep vigil with her. Made it less frightening and the time would pass more quickly.

  “How is he?” Walker asked.

  “No change.”

  He sat beside her. “How are you?”

  She stared at him, surprised that he asked. Everyone simply expected her to do what needed to be done. And she expected the same of the others. To have him voice concern jarred her. But it also pleased her to a degree. “I’m fine. All that matters is how Pa is doing.”

  “It matters a lot, but I think you matter too.”

 
; She couldn’t stop staring. His gaze held hers. She jerked her attention back to her pa and put up mental barriers against the way Walker’s words had touched her. She would not allow silly dreams into her life. She had secrets she couldn’t share. Secrets that meant she kept others at a safe distance.

  They sat in silence for some time until Walker broke it.

  “I keep thinking we should do something.”

  “Like pray?”

  “That of course, and I have been, as have dozens of others. But what if he can hear us? What would he want to hear? Perhaps hearing something would help him come back.”

  It was an interesting thought. “It’s worth a try. Two things he’d like to hear—singing and Bible reading.”

  Walker grinned. “I heard you sing in the church. Why not sing for him?”

  Josie felt embarrassed to sing with an audience of two, but her love for her pa made her dismiss the feeling. She would sing for an audience of one—Pa.

  Keeping her voice low so she wouldn’t disturb those still sleeping, she sang the song Walker had overheard in the church. “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.”

  She was almost certain that Pa turned toward her, and she sang the song over.

  Pa’s Bible was on the table by the bed. She handed it to Walker. “Your turn. Read to him.”

  He opened the pages and read the Twenty-third Psalm. It was one of Pa’s favorites, and Walker’s strong, clear voice filled the words with hope and faith.

  The children’s voices in the hallway informed everyone that it was morning.

  Stella came to the door to inquire after Pa.

  Josie was about to say, “No change,” when she noticed Pa’s eyelids flicker. She caught her breath and waited, hoping and praying he would wake up. But he released a sigh and lay still.

  Eve and Flora tiptoed into the room.

  Josie caught their hands on either side. “I think he likes hearing us sing. Join me.” They stood side by side and sang several hymns in harmony.

  “His eyes flickered,” Eve said.

  “I’ll get Ma.” Flora dashed up the stairs.

  “I’m going to let Cole know.” Eve hurried out the back door.

  Josie fell to her knees by the bed. “Pa, can you hear me? Pa, wake up.”

  Walker’s hand rested on her shoulder, and she grabbed his fingers and held on tight, drawing comfort and courage from his presence and his touch.

  Ma burst into the room, with Josie’s sisters on her heels. Josie left the bedside and joined the other girls. The brothers-in-law pushed into the room. Each reached for his wife and held her close, leaving Josie alone.

  Walker moved to her side. He didn’t touch her. She didn’t reach for his hand. Instead she gripped hers together. But it was nice that he was there.

  “Jacob, my love, wake up,” Ma pleaded.

  Pa cracked one eye open. “My head hurts.” His voice was low and raspy, but he was awake.

  Josie wiped away tears, and she wasn’t the only one.

  Ma held a cup of water to Pa’s lips. “Praise God, you are awake.”

  Josie ran to the back door. “Mr. Bates, Pa is awake.”

  She ran through the house to the front door. “Everyone, Pa opened his eyes. He’s awake.” She wanted to shout it to the heavens. She laughed and spun around, right into Walker, who had followed her. Without thinking, she hugged him. “He’s awake.” She laughed and cried at the same time.

  Shouts of “Praise God,” came from the church along with a cacophony of laughing and sobbing.

  Walker’s arms came around Josie’s shoulders, and his eyes shone with joy. “He is indeed awake.”

  She looked up at him. It was wrong to be so intimate with a man she hardly knew, but it felt so right given the joy of the moment.

  She smiled and stepped back. “It’s a miracle.”

  Walker’s arms returned to his side. “He said he believed in miracles.”

  They smiled at each other, the others forgotten until Donny ran up to them. “He’s okay?”

  Walker swung the boy into the air. “He’s opened his eyes and talked.”

  Josie heard what he didn’t say. That time alone would tell if he would come back to normal.

  It was a happy crew that gathered around the table for breakfast, talking and laughing as they again and again told how Pa had responded to their singing.

  Victoria finally crossed her arms. “I wish I’d been there. I would have liked to sing for him and see his eyes open.”

  “We’ll get lots of chances to sing for him in the days ahead,” Josie said. “In fact, we’re done eating. Let’s go sing for him now.” She waved her hand to indicate the men. “You come too.”

  Walker looked uncertain. “You too,” she said. “You’re a big part of his being with us.” Her throat closed off, and she swiped at tears. It was true. Not only had he found Pa and brought him home, but he had suggested singing and reading to him.

  “This looks to be a family moment.”

  Josie looked around the circle of sisters and their husbands. “What do you all say?”

  “You must come.” They were all in agreement, so the eight of them crowded into the bedroom.

  It was Eve who suggested a song. They sang “Rock of Ages.” The men’s deep voices ran along the bottom of the sound.

  Josie smiled at Walker, and he joined them. His voice was rough, but it added an interesting sound.

  Pa smiled the whole time they sang and sighed when they finished. “It was singing that drew me back. At first, I thought I was in heaven, then I heard someone read Psalm twenty-three.”

  “That was Walker,” Josie said.

  “Thank you for reading and even more for finding me and bringing me home.” Pa’s voice was weak.

  “He’s tired.” Ma shooed them from the room. She paused at the doorway. “Is Jonathan still here?”

  Mr. Bates stood at the kitchen door. “I’m here.”

  “Would you be so kind as to deliver a message at church tomorrow?”

  “‘Twould be my honor, though as you all know, I am not a preacher.”

  “Thank you. You’re exactly what we need at the moment.” Ma returned to Pa’s side, and the others went to the kitchen.

  “I plum forgot it was Saturday,” Josie said.

  “We’ll have to prepare the Sunday meal.” Eve looked about the kitchen. “This is just like old times.”

  “How many of you are staying?” Josie hoped she didn’t sound as if their departure would be disastrous, but she surely would miss them.

  All three of them assured her that they planned to stay for church.

  The women turned to planning meals, and the men went outside. Josie heard them say something about looking after the horses.

  She looked out the window, glad to see Walker walked with them.

  Flora sidled up to her. “He fits right in, doesn’t he?”

  “Does he? I hadn’t noticed.” She went to the cupboard and pulled out a bowl to make a cake pudding for tomorrow. But she had noticed. The trouble was, he wasn’t staying, and even if he was, it wouldn’t be because of her… for three reasons.

  First, he’d overheard her say she would never marry a penniless, homeless cowboy. And she meant it. She’d promised herself she would never again be dependent on a man who couldn’t provide her needs. She’d be responsible for her own food and shelter.

  Secondly, he planned on heading north, wandering about the vast western territory of Canada.

  But the third reason was the most important of all. She must forever hide her past. If people knew the truth… She couldn’t let herself consider what would happen. Even her family would look at her differently.

  Chapter 7

  Walker considered returning to the roof to finish shingling, but he feared Jacob’s head might object to the noise, so he followed the men to the little barn at the back of the yard. They leaned against the top rail of the fence and talked as they looked at the horses grazing placidly. />
  “The preacher is without a horse,” Reese said.

  “Flora’s been working on a couple.” Kade mused a moment. “One of them might be ready. I’ll ride out and get it.”

  Walker perked up at that. It seemed Flora was a horse trainer. Interesting young women these were. So warm and caring except he’d noticed the way Josie pulled back into herself from time to time and wondered if she had a secret she kept from the others.

  He did not like secrets. One had destroyed his peaceful family. To this day, he wondered what it could be.

  “I don’t think there’s a rush,” Cole said. “No doubt Flora will want to check on her pa in a few days. Let her bring the horse.”

  Kade chuckled. “She’d likely skin me alive if I did otherwise. So, it’s settled?”

  “We should know by tomorrow if the preacher is going to be able to manage on his own,” Reese said.

  “He won’t have to.” Walker straightened and faced the others. “I’m here. I’ll make sure he’s taken care of.”

  The three men studied him.

  “Sounds fine to me,” Kade said.

  “Good.” Walker shook hands with each of them.

  “Let’s wander through town,” Cole said. “Reese here might want to check on some of his friends.”

  The three of them told him how Reese had recognized Victoria as a missing daughter of a rich man and had taken a job in town so he could watch her.

  “I wondered if she was playing a trick.”

  “I take it she wasn’t.”

  “No. She had amnesia. She still does. She reconnected with her family but didn’t stay with them. Said it was like living with strangers.”

  Kade slapped Reese on the back. “Seems she preferred this old cowboy.”

  They reached Main Street, which Walker had seen from the rooftop. Every few feet they were stopped by concerned people and gave a report on the preacher’s improvement.

  Walker paused as they reached White’s Store. “I need to take care of a few things. The rest of you go on without me.” He stepped into the store while the others stood outside, talking to well-wishers.

  The first thing Walker meant to do was buy some new clothes if he could buy them on credit. He approached the counter.