Mission For Love (Love By Design Book 6)

by M. C. Cerny

  “Hey, it’s all good.” I said doing my best to reassure him. I wasn’t an expert on combat PTSD, but I cared about him. Deeply.

  He patted his lap winking. “It would be better if you climbed up on my lap here.”

  Evan snorted. “My work is done, back in a few.” Evan left us on our own and I moved to stand next to David’s chair.

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now.”

  “It’s the best idea I’ve had all afternoon next to figuring out how to get your panties off without your brother, uncle, and cousins catching me.”

  “Now that would be embarrassing. You know they all report back to my parents and the aunts.” I muttered letting David maneuver me over his lap.

  “I hope Evan realizes my two-fifty body might spit this chair in half sending us rolling back down the hill toward those damn firecrackers.”

  “My weight isn’t going to help this cause, you realize that don’t you?”

  “I don’t particularly care. If I can get my shit together we can leave discretely and you can administer some first aid to my frazzled nerves.”

  My heart constricted thinking how difficult this was for him.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Talk about how half my unit was ambushed and blown up? Not particularly.” He grunted. I was shocked by the swath of information dump he’d given me.

  “I meant with how you’re dealing with this.” There I was sticking my foot in my mouth.

  “I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole and it’s not you. Outside my treatment at the VA clinic and here at the rehab center I haven’t given much thought on how to deal with this in a practical situation.”

  “Any behavioral techniques?”

  “At first it was all meds. Popping pills that didn’t work. Then for a month I tried exposure therapy, but all that did was make me sweat through everything I wore.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” I asked.

  “This is pretty much it. Talk to me. Ground me. Touch me.”

  “Starting to sound a little kinky.”

  “Definitely take my mind off it.” H said.

  “Is it working?” I smiled coyly.

  “Something is working for sure.” He popped up his hips to let me know exactly what was in good working order at the moment.

  “David.” I playfully smacked his chest.

  “We can go now. I’m cool to drive.” He stood up and picked me up with him walking toward his truck past my brother and the whole fire department. Yeah, I was definitely turning my phone off after this.

  27

  David

  After the debacle of the firehouse BBQ I felt like I owed Kiara a date where nothing bad happened. A night where the two of us could just be us.

  “I’m glad you agreed to meet me.” I let my hand drift down her back resting just above her waist. My fingertips danced slowly in the curve of her back enjoying the soft skin that peeked out from her waist band. Her body shivered and I pulled her closer.

  She peeked at me from over her shoulder, “Isn’t this what second chances are for?”

  Her beautiful eyes held an inner glow like a slow burning fire I wanted focused on me. The smolder was something I felt low in my groin and if I kept thinking about all the ways I wanted Kiara I would soon be sporting more wood than my pants could hold. Slowly, I released her and stepped back offering instead to guide her up the hills the lead to our field house and the football field.

  “Sure,” I replied and put the energy into my legs climbing the paved hill in the semi-dark.

  “What are we doing here again?” she inquired as her gaze roamed over my telescope case.

  We kept pace until we reached the iron gate. I reached into my pocket and took out the keycard for the gate handing it to her. “I was hoping you might join me in a hobby of mine.” I shifted the case in my hand and waiting for her to open the gate that lead into onto the track and then further to the field.

  Kiara murmured looking around at the grouping of students and other faculty members scattered over the field. I reached for her hand and encouraged her to follow me toward the center yard line.

  “Stargazing, Miss Roberts. When I can’t stare into your eyes, I like to pull out my telescope and aim it at the sky, though nothing really compares to you.”

  “David.” Her voice conveyed the blush I couldn’t see on her face and she dipped her chin like she was shy.

  “Come on, you can help me set up.” I winked at her and made for the center of the field.

  “Kiara, I had no idea you were interested in astronomy.” Lewis Sudol trotted up to us holding his binoculars closer to his chest. He still wore his plaid trousers and a dress shirt from earlier in the day. It was a bit surprising to see him without his white lab coat. I had a feeling the head of the science department rarely relaxed a day in his life. I wasn’t terribly fond of him, but he was nice, nerdy, and harmless flirting with my girl.

  Kiara took the picnic blanket I brought and opened it up over the turf. I focused on setting up the telescope while she chatted with Mr. Science.

  “Actually Lewis, David surprised me. I didn’t realize the science club would be here, but this is amazing.”

  “Tonight is the perfect night for observing the comet. We’re so lucky the clouds have cleared. The cooler night helps. I’m giving my science students extra credit for showing up and writing a paper on it for class.”

  I pointed to the opposite end of the field. “Hey Lewis, it looks like they’re having trouble setting up their scope over by the ten yard line.”

  “They are? Oh butterballs, I better go.” Lewis picked up his pace and jogged down the field to assist the students juggling one of the school telescopes.

  “David Easton.” Kiara chided me. She knew exactly what I was doing. Distracting Lewis and getting us some alone time in the crowd.

  “What?” I shrugged like I had no idea and Kiara giggled, an adorable sound I seldom heard from her. I liked it a lot, maybe more than I care to admit and I wanted to hear it again.

  “So a field full of students and colleagues? Can I assume no hanky-panky will be occurring?” She cocked her head to the side and I couldn’t help the grunting laugh. She knew me pretty well and while I had no qualms kissing her right here, right now, I also respected her and had no wish to make her feel uncomfortable. So let’s just say the field full of comet watching people was a diversion more for me than anything else.

  “I’ll save that for later, but I did bring that blanket and whatever happens under there stays under there.”

  “A bold statement.”

  “I’m a bold guy. Now hand me that lens, please.” I held out my hand and Kiara picked up the lens handing it to me. Her fingers grazed my hand and lingered in a suggestive way that made me imagine her smooth fingers and neatly trimmed nails scoring something else. I heaved out a breath fully aware she was giving me right back what I deserved. I’d get even later, but for now I’d enjoy the non-sexual company.

  “So when did you start stargazing?” She stood next to me as I tweaked the view finder and I got a whiff of her scent on the night breeze and I felt the rush of being close to her.

  “One year for Christmas, my dad purchased a telescope for my brother and I. Andy didn’t seem nearly as interested as I did so it became something for my dad and I to share. We’d go hiking in the summer to different spots and chart the stars.”

  “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

  “Growing up, sure. It was helpful in the military. It passed the time charting the sky where ever I was stationed.” It also saved my life when we were ambushed and had to retreat twenty miles back from our rendezvous point, but I don’t share that. It’s still unsettling to think about that time.

  “This is nice.” She hummed and I stood next to her, my arm slowly wrapping around her. She didn’t move, back away, or deflect my arm and I took it as a positive sign to lead into my next move.

  I turned her around and se
t her up to look in the telescope.

  “What this?” She asked peeking through the lens.

  “I’ve positioned it so you’ll see the field where the comet comes through. There’s the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper is a spoon off to the side.” I watch her eyes squint as she tries to see it. “Check again.” I encourage her as she bends over again. I adjusted the scope slipping in a special cover over the lens. I hear her gasp and know she’s read the message on it.

  I love you.

  “David.” Her eyes tear up and I’m pulling her into my arms.

  “I love you, Kiara. No matter what.” I hauled her up in my arms and kissed her soundly on the field made of dreams. I had no idea I’d play countless hours on this turf, winning, losing, and learning about life. Nothing could have prepared me for meeting this woman and falling hard for her in a matter of weeks.

  Our lips parted briefly and she rested her head against my chest squeezing me tight. I tipped her chin up and she gazed into my eyes like I hung the fucking moon just for her.

  “I love you, David Easton.” Her lips trembled and paused, so why did I feel but coming crashing down like Armageddon?

  28

  Kiara

  “David, I have to tell you something.” The words that no one wants to hear and the words I want to say even less a second time around. One boy left me shortly after hearing me say I had cancer. I was terrified David might leave me after hearing I needed to go in and have more blood work done, more tests, more biopsies. Cancer was a terrifying prospect, but I’d beaten it once. I would do it again if need be.

  “You’re scaring me, sweetheart. What is it? Tell me.” He cupped my face and kissed my nose, cheek, lips, anywhere he could reach. Comets were forgotten.

  “I have to go in for a round of tests. My last set of labs were inconclusive and I’d honestly been ignoring everything to get my girls across the finish line.”

  David backed up a second.

  “Are you telling me you put your health at risk for a trophy?”

  “It was Sectionals, and then Regionals. These girls are amazing and they deserve it. I want them to have what I didn’t.” His look of complete shock and disappointment was breaking me.

  “When are the tests happening them?” He asked. There was a tightness in his face and an edge to his words.

  “I haven’t scheduled them yet. I wanted to wait until we got back from Albany. It’s only two weeks.”

  “No. It’s not.”

  “What?” I couldn’t believe he was going to argue with me.

  “I want you to schedule them for as soon as possible.” He demanded and I bristled at feeling like he suddenly had a right to order me to do anything.

  “No.”

  “Yes. I’ll take you there. I’m not going to lose.”

  It was in that moment I realized that David’s plea was bigger than me, us, all of it. We’d both faced losses and in the midst of admitting our love for each other it culminated in this moment.

  Now or never.

  Yes or no.

  Do or die.

  Epilogue

  KIARA

  “Will you calm down, please. I can’t sit here if you’re going to vibrate like a jumping bean.” I placed my hand on his knee as my stomach rolled and flopped. It felt like I was on a boat sloshing over water and all I could see was green.

  The past year was the most wonderful I could have imagined with David. We got married, started projects around the house we bought, my favorite being the back deck where he set up his telescope on clear nights. He taught me the constellations and all the myths and legends that went with them. Even my wedding dress had embroidered stars and moons in the lace. It would be hard imaging how all of this would change. But that was a part of life wasn’t it? To be able to roll with the tide of change.

  “I don’t know how you can be so calm. I can’t be calm. There’s nothing calm about this diagnosis.” David stood up and paced the room of the doctor’s office. He looked at green as I felt. His nervous energy turned my wave skipping boat into a roller coaster.

  This should have been a happy day for us.

  Technically our wedding anniversary.

  We’d been here once before and the news scared us then. The possibility of no longer being in remission. The tests and treatments that would follow. The bleak days of illness as my body rejected the poison created to cure it. I dreaded that news and held on to hope.

  I reached for my husband, my wedding band of diamonds glinting under the florescent lights of the office. He stopped pacing for a moment and knelt down in front of me, his face wearing that worried expression I’d come to love. His big hands rubbed up and down my legs to rest on my knees warming me in the air conditioned chill of the office. His head ducks down and I run my fingers over the short stubble on the back of his neck. Groaning he looked up at me, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

  “I’m sorry sweetheart. I just can’t stop thinking.” He was thinking about our future as much as I was. He resumed worrying whereas I’ll let it be for now while my tummy tucks and rolls inside my jeans. David stood up and resumed the pacing before hovering in the corner. It gave him a place to focus his energy even if it made him look like a naughty overgrown boy.

  We had so many plans ahead of us. I was taking my senior girls track team to a regional competition in Albany. We planned to attend the Olympic Trials. We wanted to go hiking in Iceland and see the Aurora Borealis. The pictures from Whit and Lia’s honeymoon were amazing and inspiring. But I knew David’s protective side would rear it’s fierce head giving me one heck of a fight.

  “David, we’re here to find out if I’m pregnant, not dying.” My lips quirked as my stomach reminded me what had started all this fuss in the first place.

  He turned around, hands rested on his lean hips as his eyes scoured the various posters of women’s anatomy all over the walls. “That’s easy for you to say. I didn’t even think of all the complications this could cause. What the hell was I thinking?” He meant my overall health, not the joy of raising a little mini person with a combination of our best qualities.

  “I’m pretty sure it takes two to get into this situation, darling husband.” And really, it didn’t take much beyond that. Once I’d gotten the all clear from my oncologist we stopped my birth control and decided to let nature take its course.

  “Don’t you darling husband me. That’s exactly how we got into this.” He pointed a finger at me, but his lips twitched and the smile he held back broke through.

  “You know, I hadn’t really given a ton of thought to what being a mother would be like.”

  “Because you changed you mind?”

  “Oh no, nothing like that. We talked about this when I stopped my birth control. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, I guess, I just didn’t think it would happen.”

  “I have excellent sperm.” David said with such convincing resolve I busted out laughing. “What? I do. I must. I mean, I got you pregnant.”

  I bite my lip to get control of myself. He’s sweet and it was endearing to see how certain he was about all of this.

  “Of course you have excellent sperm. I was having a moment of personal conflict because I’m so awed that I’m in this place in my life. I’m here with you, and we’re married, and we’re possibly starting a family as I speak. I feel blessed, like maybe I don’t deserve it, but I really do have it.”

  “You will always have these things with me. I’m honored that I get to give them to you and be with you to experience all of this.” David took my hands and pulled me up to stand. His arms embraced me and he hugged me tight giving me his strength. “I love you Kiara. It doesn’t matter if we’re pregnant today, or a year from now. My life is yours.” We kissed for a moment, his apple taste always on my lips. Considering all smells and food were currently offensive, it was amazing to have something that brought me peace and joy. We pulled back at the sound of the door but David continued to hold onto to me, his arm around my shoulders tu
cking me tight against him.

  Dr. Julia Hillman came in holding my chart. She motioned her hand for us both to sit opposite her desk. We clutched hands and smiled nervously. I hadn’t bothered with a test at home because I wanted absolute confirmation. Her husband Jonathon was also my pediatric oncologist and it felt right to see her.

  “It looks like there will be a new addition to the Easton family in about seven months. You’re approximately six to eight weeks along, but I’ll need an ultrasound to check measurements.”

  “Can you repeat that?” David’s hold on my hand grew shaky. I had a feeling this was why doctors asked patients to sit receiving news, even good new could make a person feel faint.

  “Your wife is definitely pregnant, David. Congratulations.” She grinned and reached for his free hand to shake. “I’ll have the nurse pack up some prenatal vitamins and a prescription for an anti-nausea medication. I know this can be rough. It’ll be similar to what Jonathon prescribed after your chemo and is totally baby safe.”

  “Thank you, Julia.”

  “Alright, let’s move to the ultrasound room and see what we can see.” Dr. Hillman guided us down the hall to the ultrasound tech room. If I could have sprinted ahead of her I would. “Hop up here and lift your shirt up and pants down. The best way to see the baby is with an internal probe but my intern dropped it yesterday so we’ll go old fashioned today.”

  “This is exciting.” I hopped up unable to contain myself. We would get to see our little glowing peanut. Dr. Hillman helped me get situated spreading the cold goo over my still flat belly. David stood next to me, his arm around me and holding my hand as close to us as possible. I knew he would be an amazing father and partner.

  “Let’s see what we can see today.” She scanned my abdomen and the monitor came on showing us shadowed blobs will making a whooshing sound.